Unspoken
By mihoyonagi
Chapter 41: Helpless
The day was nearing an end as they traversed the stone steps up toward the canyon named for the starts. Sephiroth was feeling extremely uncomfortable, dreading his inevitable meeting with the fire-cat Aerith had been so enthusiastically speaking of for practically the entire afternoon. Supposing that not much had gone wrong on Vincent's end of the bargain, seeing as the gunman hadn't yet stopped their journey, Sephiroth assumed that a long chat had been in order between Aerith's old friends and something of some sort had been worked out between the two. Sephiroth vaguely wondered what Vincent had, indeed, told the feline in order to sedate what the swordsman would guess to be inevitable anger in hearing that he had been resurrected and was traveling, as guard, with the flower girl.
Sephiroth could hear the pacing of large animal paws as he and Aerith neared the last bend of the canyon's road before they entered the city. He paused, turning his head to the side in order to look at Aerith. Attempting to communicate was going to be difficult, for he knew the fire-cat had heard them approaching already, hence his pacing. Trying to be as subtle as possible, Sephiroth nodded his head in a slightly sideways indication, signifying his want for Aerith to walk in front of him.
She smiled at him, an obvious attempt to silently reassure him. Sephiroth mustered up what little courage he felt was needed and offered up a weak, slightly tense-looking smile in return.
They continued, Aerith in front. They hardly passed but a hundred feet when Sephiroth heard the pacing paws come to a halt. "Who travels through the canyon at such a late hour?" The voice was deep, gruff, and riddled with stress and worry.
Sephiroth watched the smile stretch out on Aerith's face, tears beginning to brim her crystalline eyes. "An old friend."
A drumming sound began to flood the canyon walls as four heavy paws bounded around the corner. The fire beast skidded to a halt and then stood rigid as if afraid of what he might witness were he to move. Deep eyes suddenly burned with a happy fire. The cat started toward them again, features aglow as he bounded nearer the flower girl. Skidding to a halt at Aerith's feet, the animal positively brimmed with excitement.
Aerith threw her arms around the neck of the cat, pulling him as close as she could manage. Sephiroth looked on while the fire-beast, Red, nuzzled his face against that of the flower girl.
"I knew it! I knew Vincent wasn't lying! The elders reported a disturbance in the flow of the lifestream just a few months ago, and I knew deep in my heart that something amazing happened! Never in a thousand years would I ever believe such a feat to be possible but, Aerith, here you are, flesh and blood, before me again just as you were two and a half years ago!"
Aerith laughed into Red's mane, fur stealing away what few happy tears escaped her eyes. "I'm so happy to see you! I've missed you so much!"
Red's ears drew back as he pulled away from the embrace of the flower girl. "If you missed me so much, why didn't you come to visit me? Why did you have to hide?"
Hesitating, Aerith inclined her head slightly toward Sephiroth. His eyes met with hers for a brief moment before the fire-cat let out a menacing growl.
"There were a few holes in the conversation I had with Vincent that I still don't understand. Why do you travel with this one, Aerith? Is he not the epitome of terror?"
Sephiroth swallowed dejectedly and turned his head. Even had he a voice, what was there to tell? Hell, he couldn't offer up an excuse, much less an apology, to Red for he knew the animal wouldn't take it. Though Sephiroth had physically done no harm to Red, the general knew that stealing away his friend by means of cold steel had been enough to earn the cat's well-placed hatred. Apologies would most likely earn him another deep, ominous growl.
"Please, Red, let's talk about his like rational beings." Sephiroth noticed Aerith was smart enough to omit the word 'humans' when talking to her furry friend. She always tended to be kind.
Red turned back to Aerith, his ears pressed against the top of his head. "If you are to travel back into the canyon with me, we must stay well hidden. I've no problems in withholding the truth from Cloud for a while if he asks of you, but I will not ask my people to lie: I wish to move so that none see us, so that there is no danger to you. I don't much like the idea of him being in my home, and let it be known that he isn't welcome in the slightest, but I will adhere to Vincent's pleas and swallow my hatred of him for you, Aerith."
Aerith, curiously, pried her friend for something less ambiguous with her subtle way of speech. "Vincent was pleading? I can hardly see that, Nanaki!"
Sephiroth cocked an eyebrow. Why was the flower girl calling her beastly friend by yet another name? He was slightly inclined to ask her later, though he began to follow their conversation again after tucking away his mental questioning to the back of his mind.
"He pleaded in his own way, a little. He kept repeating himself about how much everything had changed, and how I needed to reevaluate my opinion before I attacked. I suppose it's good he suggested I think, something I am good at, before I struck with my claws, of which am better."
The fire-cat turned his eyes toward Sephiroth, and the general caught the veiled threat. Unblinking, Sephiroth merely nodded, somewhat gently. Red blinked once in slight surprise, almost a flinch, as if he hadn't expected any form of reaction from Sephiroth other than pompous anger or cruel facial expressions.
Sephiroth would have to be careful to keep his expression stoic while in Red's presence: he already had a preconceived opinion of the general, not that Sephiroth blamed him, that was clouding his vision and thought process, despite his attempts to discern bias as Vincent had asked of him. Any off-move might wind up with Sephiroth's blood spilling from several perpendicular lines upon his person; something which he imagined would be far from pleasant.
"Follow me," the cat declared, slinking into the shadows of the canyon walls. Sephiroth steadied the bag upon his back and followed Aerith into the shadows.
The canyon was empty, for the most part. Several older gentlemen sat around the great flame and reminisced of older, less complicated times. None of them noticed the three figures slink through the shadows, and even if they had Sephiroth doubted their old eyes would register much of what was going on. Older eyes meant less reliability, and the men that laughed around the fire had some of the oldest faces Sephiroth could recall. One didn't grow old in Midgar before you passed on, the general supposed. Polluted air and corrupt people have a way of bringing the downtrodden further into despair, and with despair often comes a young death. These men were of the canyon, understanding in the ways of nature, and didn't seem to actively care much for what went on outside of their own personal bubble while they ate their late meal and chatted with old friends around a warm fire.
Red stopped them when they neared the door to the inn. He went in first, only passing halfway through the door. He lifted himself upon his haunches and sniffed the air, and then became still for a few moments. Landing back upon all of his paws, he signaled with his head that he wished to be followed.
The old set of stairs they crept up, much to Sephiroth's surprise, didn't creak in the slightest.
Red opened the bedroom door with a slight push of his nose, then ushered Sephiroth and Aerith inside. "I'm going to speak to the inn-keep: I'll be gone only a moment." The last statement was directed at Sephiroth.
Though Sephiroth understood the fire-cats mistrust to be well placed, considering the generals past transgressions when in the company of Aerith, he couldn't help but feel slightly resentful. Sephiroth knew Red understood that he and Aerith had been traveling together for many weeks now. So far, Sephiroth had done nothing to harm her and had, on several occasions, delivered her from the harm others wished to inflict upon her. Even if Sephiroth had been planning to hurt Aerith, something now he would never dream of, he had already been graced with time to prove otherwise. Why, he and Aerith had just spent the majority of the day walking alone through the plains, and then again through the windy canyon. Had Sephiroth the slightest inclining to kill Aerith, he had already been provided with optimum time to do so. Surely the cat had noticed that she was unscathed, thanks to Sephiroth's sword making damned sure no monsters went near her.
Well, the general mused somewhat bitterly to himself, it was to be expected and he shouldn't blame Aerith's over-protective friend.
Aerith sat down on one of the beds, unloading the bag off of her back, and Sephiroth followed her example on the bed opposite. Red returned a few moments later with a small bag clenched in his massive jaw. Wasting no time, he leapt upon Aerith's bed, deposited the bag, and got right down to business.
"I've brought you something to eat while you tell me your story."
Aerith smiled, taking the bag from where it had been placed, and began rifling through it. "Thank you, Red. Won't the inn keeper find us here in the morning, though?"
Shaking his mane, Red let out a soft sound Sephiroth supposed must have been a small chuckle. "No, I spoke to him once this morning after I talked with Vincent, and again just now. I merely told the inn keeper that I needed the room for the night, and that I wished not to be disturbed. When he pressed as to why I needed the room, I told him that I was expecting one of grandfather's old friends, and that he was merely passing through."
Aerith pulled an apple from the bag and offered it to Sephiroth. He took it without hesitation, as he had become used to in the company of the flower girl. Sephiroth saw Red's upper lip twitch slightly when their hands touched.
"Please tell me your story, Aerith." Red's tale swiped back and forth a few times, impatiently.
"Well," Aerith began, taking a bite of her apple, "what has Vincent told you so far?"
Aerith and Red exchanged stories well into the night, the flower girl filling in plot-holes of their journey that the fire-cat had missed out on during his talk with Vincent. It was nearing the early morning of the hours when their tales had been spun and the room fell quiet.
"You truly cannot speak, then?" Red's gaze had, slowly through the night, changed from fretful and full of anger to mildly amused and slightly curious.
Sephiroth shook his head, rubbing his sore, tired eyes thereafter.
Red was silent for a few moment moments. Sephiroth suspected he was formulating more questions for him. "It seems you truly are her guardian. You've saved her life a few times, then."
"Several times," Aerith corrected. "He took me to the hospital when we first woke up, he saved me from the Midgar Zolom, he rescued me from the slavers, and don't get me started on how many monsters he's made sure don't get anywhere near me."
Sephiroth was slightly pleased to hear Aerith had noticed that he had purposely always ventured before her upon encountering enemies upon the fields. It wasn't that he doubted her strength – of that he knew well enough – it was merely him wanting to gain slight affection through chivalry. He let the slightest of smiles grace his lips. He noticed the slight smirk on Aerith's features as he did so, and was greatly pleased that she had remembered to kindly omit the bit of their journey which had him in heels, a woman's kimono, with a pair of grapefruits shoved down his top.
Red's tail flicked back and forth again. It was obvious to Sephiroth that the beast was fighting himself on the inside, torn between hatred and trust.
"I suppose that, while you are still not entirely welcome here, you can stay as long as you need to."
It felt as though a large stone had been lifted out of the pit of Sephiroth's stomach. Deep down, based off the cold looks Red had constantly shot his way during the night, Sephiroth had feared Red would not believe Aerith and call Cloud.
It seemed that Aerith had thoughts that were also leaning in such a direction for as soon as the words fell from his mouth, she wrapped her arms around Red's neck and smiled happily, thanking him for his faith.
The fire-cat left soon after, instructing Aerith and Sephiroth to try and sleep for most of the day, as he would prefer if they were not seen during the sunlit hours outside of their room.
Happily agreeing, Sephiroth pulled his boots off and was under the covers after but a few seconds. He would shower when he woke, and worry about what to do next when he rose. Following much of the same idea, Aerith unlaced her shoes, changed into her pajamas in the bathroom, and climbed into bed only a few minutes later.
"Sephiroth?" Aerith's quiet whisper sounded through the darkened room.
The general rolled over on his mattress, letting Aerith know he was awake and had heard her. He heard her rustle slightly, as if reaching out for something, and knew immediately that she hugged to her chest the bear he had bought her only days before.
"I forgive you."
Sephiroth laid his head upon his pillow and closed his eyes, contemplating Aerith's words. She always spoke them, but what message did she have hidden behind them?
It was many hours later that Sephiroth finally found it in him to sleep, despite his tired mind and body.
He awoke to the springs in Aerith's bed creaking. Sephiroth's body, slightly stiff, protested to waking with a sounding crack of his shoulder blades as he sat. Aerith, clothed, smiled up at him as he put his feet to the floor.
"You've been asleep for a while." She tilted her head and gazed curiously at him.
Sephiroth pointed to his wrist, indicating he wished to know the time. Aerith merely shrugged. "It's past dinner and it's already getting late. We were up until really late this morning, so I don't feel so bad about waking up when it's dark out."
Tossing the covers aside, Sephiroth leaned over and rested his head in his hands, placing his elbows to his knees. A few more bones on his person cracked in protest of his stretching, but he gave little heed.
"I've already talked to Red, and he's going to make sure that the library is empty for me tonight so I can pick up a few books to read."
Sephiroth nodded, keeping his gaze upon the floor.
"He's even being kind enough to let me borrow them on our journey, provided I promise to take good care of them."
Sephiroth nodded in understanding once more, sitting up straight. He slowly looked to Aerith, curiously.
"I was going to use some time in the library to open the package that Vincent gave me. I'm a little nervous about finding out what's inside, but that's what makes surprises so exciting. Do you think you'll come up to visit me later?"
This time, Sephiroth reached for his notebook.
'I think that you'll do fine on our own, but I must warn you against getting your hopes up about the parcel Vincent gave you.'
Aerith tilted her head after reading the message, twining a stray piece of hair behind her ears. "What do you mean?"
Sephiroth sighed, as he could think of no easy way to convey his discomfort regarding the package. 'I have a bad feeling that whatever is inside it will only bring sadness.'
Fidgeting, Aerith bit her lip. "I understand. After all, the way Vincent talked about it when he gave it to me made the thing sound diseased. But he said it was something I needed to see, so I guess I should open it."
Sephiroth nodded. He could tell Aerith's curiosity had been greatly intrigued by what Vincent had given her, and little would deter her from opening it regardless of what outcome might be in store for her. Nevertheless, Sephiroth had a bad feeling about the package. His heart twitched uncomfortably when he thought of it.
The sound of a heavy paw petting the doorframe echoed through the room. "May I come in?"
"Of course, Red." Sephiroth watched as Aerith's face lit up when her friend pushed the door open with his nose and poked his head inside the room.
"The library is clear, if you'd like to follow me up."
Aerith turned to Sephiroth and smiled. "Do you want to come with us, or are you going to stay here?"
Again, Sephiroth reached for his notebook.
'I think that I'll bathe, and then perhaps join you.'
Smiling, Aerith nodded. "Alright then: Red, it's just you and I for a little while."
Red nodded and backed out of the room, willing Aerith to follow with the motion he made over his shoulder.
Sephiroth looked to Aerith, slightly perturbed to see her clutching the parcel Vincent had given her. Still, he knew Aerith would not be discouraged from opening that which she had become so infatuated with. She turned to him once again. "I'll see you in a little while."
Nodding in affirmation, Sephiroth stood and followed Aerith to the door. He closed it tightly after her, heading immediately for the bathroom. His body seemed tense and sore, as if the all of the time he had spent sleeping that day had worked more havoc on his body than done good. The hot water that jetted unevenly out of the showerhead beat mercilessly upon his body until he glowed with a rather unbecoming shade of pink. Sephiroth, however, ignored the pigmentation his skin had taken merely based off the fact that the warm water had felt so welcome against his sore body.
Twisting most of the moisture out of his hair and letting what was left moist to air-dry, Sephiroth donned a pair of pants and made his way back into the bedroom.
Sephiroth was startled to see Red sitting atop Aerith's bed. The beast flicked his tail back and forth a few times, curiously and silently observing Sephiroth with deep, intense eyes. "It is so strange to hear Aerith speak nothing but praise of you when I have come so accustomed to hating your memory."
Not sure how to react to such a statement, Sephiroth merely remained still while Red gazed upon him.
"Vincent, too, shared a great deal about you, though there is much I am sure he kept to himself out of respect. That, in itself, is strange: Vincent's respect is as elusive as the man himself. I, however, have come to you on different terms."
Sephiroth, knowing that the cat was beckoning him over with intriguing words, sat upon his own bed and took a deep breath. It was the first time the general and the animal had been physically near one another while alone, or at least that Sephiroth could remember. Before, in his previous life, Sephiroth had no true qualms with Red, only that he partied with Aerith and Cloud. It was obvious that the cat had fought onward for many of his own reasons.
Red shifted his weight from one shoulder to the other. "Vincent asked me to throw away my preconceived opinions of you. At first, I was uncertain of my abilities to do so, but as I spend more time in your company the more I believe I've come to understand about you. Aerith doesn't fear you, though she travels in your constant presence, and based off her testimony you have saved her on several occasions. I find this very interesting, considering your previous record while in her company."
Sephiroth swallowed with great difficulty. Leave it to Aerith to have philosophical, observant, and seemingly incredibly intelligent beings as friends. He wished dearly that the cat would stop beating around the damned bush and just get to the point. Sephiroth hated being analyzed: who was someone else to say what he was thinking, or the reasons behind his actions?
Continuing, ignoring the obvious tension that was building in the room, Red shifted his weight from side to side once more and heaved a lengthy sigh.
"I used to hate you, knowing that you killed a friend who was so precious to me. In one simple night I have come to pity you, knowing in detail what you have gone through in order to redeem yourself, and of what left you have to accomplish."
Sephiroth looked at his hands with empty eyes. No physical blood coated his fingers, but he knew the lives he had torn asunder could still be traced back to his hands. A cold shiver ran down as spine as he coherently thought of the lives he had taken without mercy for the first time in many years.
"I suppose this is making you uncomfortable, so I'll merely speak my mind. I wish to know exactly what Aerith is to you."
The general's eyes shot up, meeting Red's. The beast tilted his head, intrigued.
"Vincent told me of the way you behave while in her company, and I, too, see it. I speak and think as a human, but my animal senses still compel me: I can see the change in you when you look at her, and when your eyes meet. I wish, however, to know what it is exactly you think of her."
Sephiroth knew his face to be turning red. Suddenly, his eyes found the pattern on the hard-wood floor to be rather interesting. Silently, he cursed Vincent for daring to open his mouth on such a delicate subject.
He could practically hear the smile that befell the feline maw of the being across from him. "I suspected Vincent of warping the truth, but it seems that he was, as he always is, honest. You care for Aerith in ways that you don't believe are just, do you not?"
Snatching his notebook from the bedside stand, Sephiroth scribbled his message and prayed to Shiva that the cat had been gifted with the ability to read.
'I have no explanation or apology as to why I feel this way, and I plan to withhold any kind of affirmation of my feelings until I am able to speak with Aerith confidently about the matter.'
Red tossed his mane from side to side after reading the message. "You haven't told her then, I assume?" Sephiroth swore that the cat was grinning.
'No, and I am unsure as to what exactly to say about anything pertaining to the matter. There are more problematic things to worry about right now.'
"So formal, Sephiroth: it almost seems that you're uncomfortable when you talk about your feelings regarding Aerith."
He couldn't believe it: the fire-cat was mocking him!
'Wouldn't it be only natural to keep quiet my declaration considering what I've done to her, and all that I've taken away? She should care for me as I do for her.'
Sephiroth's statement wiped the smile from Red's face. Seriousness looked rather dangerous on the cat. "How Aerith feels is not for you to decide. You must, however, be true to yourself. You mustn't lock yourself away, Sephiroth. Out of all that has passed, considering all that Aerith has taught you, this is the one thing you should understand."
A long, poignant pause filled the room. Despite only knowing Red for a few hours, he had already taken to offering advice.
'You are very wise, old fire-cat.'
The feline smile crossed Red's face again. "I've been told many times that I can sound wise when I wish to, but I've never been called old before."
Sephiroth, slightly curious, tilted his head.
"By my years I am roughly fifty. But in human years, I've only just turned seventeen."
Sephiroth balked slightly. He had just received love advice from a teenaged cat: how strangely pathetic his love life was turning out to be.
"Now, correct me if I am wrong, but you most likely want to be with Aerith as she opens the parcel that was spoken of earlier. Shall I take you to her?" Red sat up and leapt from the bed, stopping himself before he neared the door.
Sephiroth stood up, aiming to pick up his shirt from the end of his bed before he did so, but was troubled by a huge wave of dizziness. He clutched the end of the bed for support, and pressed a hand to his forehead.
Red turned around and looked upon him, questioning with his eyes.
The room spun, and Sephiroth found himself shutting his eyes tight and pressing his fingers against his closed eye-lids in a futile attempt to advert the pain. Vertigo began to set in as a terrible tremor wracked his body. Before he could stop himself, Sephiroth fell to the floor.
Extremely disturbed by what was happening, Red scrambled over to Sephiroth's side. He pressed a paw against the general and made a low, whining noise. "What's wrong? What happened?"
A terrible feeling took hold of Sephiroth's insides, and he knew all at once what misery was. His body shook with anger, terror, and desolation all at once. A cold sweat broke out upon his brow and he curled his legs to his chest in a fruitless attempt to make the room stop spinning.
Red whined again, pressing harder against Sephiroth's shoulder. "What is going on? What do you need me to do?"
Sephiroth suddenly understood what was happening: Aerith was in some sort of peril, and the connection they shared was being put to the test. It seemed the bond they shared, what with being connected to the other's life force, was deeper than Sephiroth had previously guessed. Something was happening to Aerith, and now Sephiroth feared for the worst.
He could feel the bile rise in his throat as he stood, but Sephiroth would not be deterred from helping Aerith when she needed him most. He swallowed the urge to vomit.
Red growled. "What in Ifrit's name is going on, damnit?"
Sephiroth looked to red, meeting his eyes. Sephiroth tried to convey a sense of fearful worry toward the cat, silently, and it seemed to work. Red's tail twisted and he looked to the door. "I don't understand you completely, but I have my suspicions. Lead the way."
Not needing another open invitation, Sephiroth swung open the door and bounded into the hall. As he quietly ran, Red close at his heels, he opened his mind and searched for Aerith. What he was met with stunned him so terribly he nearly tripped. An overwhelming sense of helplessness and depression overtook him until he felt as though he would surely die. Something awful was happening, and Sephiroth was terrified to find out what it was.
The twisting curve of the inn ended and Sephiroth bounded outside and down the main steps of the canyon, into the dark of the night. The sound of trickling water was easily heard in the quiet of the night, and Sephiroth found himself drawn toward it. He easily slid down an embankment of loose gravel, bypassing the trail completely, and landed upon his feet in front of a small creek and a heap of shaking flesh. How had Aerith managed to retreat from the library so quickly? It didn't matter: all that Sephiroth's mind could process was that she was not hurt.
Sephiroth watched Aerith turn around when she heard him approach. Her face was tear-stricken and red, her eyes puffy and looking as though she was fighting off some terrible inner-torment.
Her gaze became cold, and a new wave of emotions hit Sephiroth like a bullet hitting a glass wall.
Aerith turned away, hiccupping. Her sorrow permeated the canyon and the area around it: even Red laid his ears flat against the top of his head.
"I finally find out the things I've always wanted to know, and all it's brought me was the wish to shrink away from the world."
She hiccupped again, wiping a tear from her face with the back of her hand.
"The thing that Vincent gave me was a book of research notes, and a bundle of letters. The notes were of my mother, of my father, and of me."
Aerith turned her head slightly sideways, toward where Sephiroth stood. "Do you know what happened to my father and my mother, Sephiroth?"
Sephiroth swallowed with great difficulty.
Picking the piece of paper up from where it laid in her lap, Aerith held it up over her head and waved it. "Your father, Hojo, killed my father. A man I never knew, a man I would never be able to love and admire, was shot by the man who ruined the rest of my life. Hojo killed my father, Sephiroth, and he turned to my mother next. I was little when she died, but memories like that don't fade. Your father killed her too, inadvertently, with his experiments."
Aerith heaved a heavy sigh, apparently trying to keep her tears in check. Her voice was deadpan, though Sephiroth could see her shake.
"And the list goes on," she continued. "Hojo experimented on and nearly killed Vincent. Did you know that? He screwed with Zax, the first boy to steal my heart, and with Cloud as well. Everything Hojo has done has some sort of impact on my life."
Not being able to hold her emotions inside of her any longer, Aerith crumpled and began to sob. Sephiroth's first reaction was to run to her, but she threw her arms behind her and tried to swat him away. "Everything precious in my life has been taken from me by none other than your father, Sephiroth, and his obsession with that witch from the skies, Jenova."
She sobbed again, screaming in frustration, pounding the earth with her small fists. "Is it some sort of unspoken, unknown vendetta Hojo has against me, or my parents? It's only fitting that his son finished the job for him, don't you think?"
Running her hands through her hair, Aerith screamed.
The sound rang through the canyon.
Red pressed his body toward the ground, unsure how to react.
Sephiroth felt as though he had been shot in the heart.
He took a step toward Aerith.
She stood and threw the notebook at him, missing. A trail of letters fluttered to the ground in its wake. Sephiroth stood still for a moment.
"Do you know what those are, Sephiroth? Those are all of the letters Zax wrote me during his travels. Hojo kept them because he thought they were amusing. Amusing, do you hear me? Your father was one sick bastard!"
Sephiroth observed and understood, within the span of a few seconds, the true human side of Aerith. She forgave and was kind because of her Cetra heritage, but human jealousies and hatred could often outweigh the good aspects of a person. She was no exception. No one, after all, was completely without flaw: perfection was a fairytale.
He knew that she didn't blame him, but that there was no where else to point her finger and direct her rage. He, however, would gladly take it all, if only for her.
Taking another step toward her, Sephiroth held out his hands.
Aerith flung herself to the canyon wall, pressing her back against the red stone. "Don't you understand? You're stealing my happiness away from me just like your father did! When I'm with you, I can't see my friends! I can't see my mother again because of you! She thinks I'm dead! What would happen if I suddenly knocked on her door! Do you understand the problems that would cause?"
Undeterred by her anger and spite, Sephiroth took another step toward Aerith, arms remaining outstretched as if he wished to embrace her. "Don't touch me!" Her scream echoed throughout the walls of the canyon as she pressed herself further against the earth.
Placing his arms on either side of her, his palms stretched out upon the rocky wall, Sephiroth encased Aerith within a barrier of his own making. He made eye-contact with her. Though he immediately regretting the action, having to witness the suffering and masked hate beneath the beautiful, rich emerald, he didn't look away.
Slowly, he let his arms fall against the wall so that his forearms were parallel with the rocks and Aerith was almost against his chest. Her breathing was erratic, and he knew from the clouded look in her eyes that her vision was blurred.
"I said don't touch me!" Her venom sank deep, but Sephiroth was dedicated. Let her hate him. Let all of her pent up anger and frustration be drained, so that he might see her smile at least once more.
He leaned his head against the rock, just to the left of Aerith's head. He knew what was coming: it was inevitable.
Just as he had predicted, Aerith's small hand smacked at his chest. It was right in front of her face, and a prime target to hit, and Sephiroth would rather she strike him than take her frustration out upon herself. Her blows were weak and lacking in emotion, meant more as means to vent her frustration more than anything. They, however, seemed to work. Soon, Aerith sobbed. Her weeping shook her entire body, and her cries echoed. Sephiroth pressed himself harder against her, pinning her to the wall securely.
Blindly, she groped for a hold. Still she shook as she wound her arms around Sephiroth's torso, burying her face in his chest to muffle her tears.
After what seemed like several lifetimes filled completely with nothing but sadness, Sephiroth heard Aerith speak.
"I want to go home. Please take me home."
Sephiroth removed one hand from the wall and placed it on the back of Aerith's head, conveying the message that he heard and understood her. He knew immediately that she spoke of their home in Mideel.
He was able to feel the moment she went limp in his arms. Sephiroth scooped her up into his embrace without effort, and eased her into a comfortable position cradled against him. Aerith buried her face in his chest, unwilling to look up.
With a flick of his wrist, Sephiroth set flame to the paper that scattered the earth. Some secrets were never meant to be shared. He turned then, looking upon the quite fire-cat with sad eyes. Red's ears were still pressed against his head in fret, and Sephiroth was able to visibly detect the water on his cheeks. Red had been crying right along with Aerith.
Sephiroth strode past the cat and up the small, hilly trail that led back into the city. He quietly made his way back into the inn, Aerith letting out a few small hiccups along the way. Though she was limp in his arms, he knew that she was far from asleep. He placed her on the bed, uninterested to see if Red had followed them up or not, and pulled the boots from her feet. Tucking her into bed proved easy, as she let him maneuver her body as he pleased to better fit her under the heavy comforter.
He refused, however, to make eye contact. As soon as he was certain she was safe in bed, Sephiroth shut the door to their bedroom, turned off the lights, and locked himself in the bathroom.
Sitting with his back against the door, plunged into total darkness, he held his head in his hands as an excruciating tremor of self-hatred shook through him. The quite of the canyon only amplified the sounds in the room behind him, and he knew at once when Aerith had begun sobbing again. Sephiroth listened to her toss and turn, burying her face under her pillow to muffle the sound of her sorrow.
Sephiroth found himself to be completely and utterly terrified. Everything he had been hoping for, all of the affection he had been trying to win from the flower girl, had been rejected in one night, and she most likely had no idea. His broken heart shook him, but the idea that Aerith had been unhappy while in his company for so long shook him even more. Never had she spoken of it, never had she indicated such a strong sense of loathing for anything. When, he wondered, did her forgiveness turn to venom? Why had she continued to tell him that she forgave him, night after night, if she hadn't meant it?
He felt betrayed. No only betrayed, he felt weak, open, and frightened, like a child. Helpless, hopeless: for the first time in his life, Sephiroth was without a coherent thought. He had opened himself up, let himself experience new and frightful things and, just as it had when he was young, it had escorted him directly to disaster.
All of the emotions he had only just begun to understand barred down on him. Kindness and trust seemed foreign again.
What had happened?
Good God, what had he done?