Chapter Four - The Meat Market: Part Two
No sooner had the WWE Champion said this than the door opened and a stagehand called out, "Number 11!"
The moment the stagehand spoke, Dave's mind appeared to go on autopilot. He didn't want to be there. He wanted to be home, sprawled on the couch watching ESPN with his two Yorkies. But he stood up and made his way out of the room and down the hall to the curtain, waiting as the announcer made his introduction before walking out into the spotlight as the announcer said his name.
He made the customary single walk up and down the runway before standing beside the announcer and waiting as the silent auction went on. Every now and then he looked up at the digital display to see how his price was faring, and was stunned to see the amount was over $7,500. But then he saw a light at the end of the tunnel when he heard the announcer state,
"We have $7,500 going once..."
His ordeal was almost over...
"...going twice..."
Suddenly the display changed: $20,000. A stunned murmur ran through the crowd, and all Dave could do was blink at what he was seeing.
"SOLD to Bidder #32 for $20,000!" the announcer exclaimed. "You may pick up your bachelor backstage after the auction!"
Dave walked backstage, thankful his ordeal was over. Meanwhile, down in the audience, Bidder #32 smiled widely as her friends congratulated her.
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"Number 12!"
Adam glowered at Shawn and Hunter as they laughed him out of the room. He was getting a little tired of DX constantly getting on his nerves, but it wasn't like he didn't deserve some heckling in return. He liked to boast about himself, and the fact that he was the current WWE Champion was the perfect thing to brag about, in his opinion.
He sighed inwardly as he made his way to the curtain. Be honest with yourself, his conscience urged him. Being WWE Champion is pretty much the only thing you have going for you right now. Not to bring you down any further, but you do realize this date with whoever 'wins' you tonight is gonna be the first date you've had in months?
Adam told his conscience to go screw itself, despite the fact he knew it was 100% correct. He hadn't told anyone, but when Amy had left the WWE, she'd left him too. Then he'd tried to get together with Vickie, but aside from a few friendly dinners, things had never really taken off. Even after all this time, she was still grieving for Eddie, and then the whole situation with Chris Benoit had shaken them both deeply, as both had been good friends of the late Rabid Wolverine. So he'd decided to accept the fact that all he and Vickie would ever have between them would be a close friendship.
So here he was...with a great job, nice car, great house, and lifetime season passes to the Toronto Maple Leafs. But the passenger seat of that nice car was usually empty, as was the house when he came home from the road, and the same thing applied to the seat beside his at the Maple Leafs games. What a great existence.
Maybe I should get a dog, he thought as he hefted the WWE title onto his shoulder and went through the curtain and onto the runway.
The auction was a blur to him, he was so lost in his own thoughts, and he nearly jumped out of his skin when the announcer yelled,
"SOLD to Bidder #26 for $12,500! You may pick up your bachelor backstage after the auction!"
Dazedly, the WWE Champion was ushered backstage.
Down in the audience, Bidder #26 allowed a smug smirk to spread across her face. He's not gonna know what hit him, she told herself.
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"Number 13!"
Oh, crap was Glen's initial reaction. He and Mark were probably the two people who least wanted to be there. He would've rather had a root canal without anesthesia than go through with this.
His mood darkened as he neared the curtain, accompanied by a stage hand that kept fussing over him like a mother hen, something he found incredibly annoying.
"Now really, Mr. Jacobs," the stage hand was saying, "there's no need to look like you're going to Death Row. Smile! Put on your happy face!"
All right, that did it.
One chokeslam through a table later, and the stage hand was unconscious on the floor. Glen gazed down at the stage hand's prone form and smiled a Kane smile before going through the curtain.
Yeah, now he felt better.
Kane's entrance theme blared as he stepped through the curtain, and he smirked inwardly.
If I'm gonna do this, at least I'll have Kane's music.
The announcer jumped a mile as the initial notes sounded, and Glen walked over to him and stood right in front of him, grinning a Kane smile at him. The poor guy looked like he was about to wet himself.
After grinning down at the poor announcer for a few moments, Glen turned and glanced up at the display, and was surprised to see his 'price' was up to $5,800.
When it didn't look like the price was going to go any higher, the announcer stuttered out,
"$5-5,800 g-going once...going twice..."
The amount soared to an even $10,000, causing even Glen's eyebrows to go up a fraction of an inch.
"SOLD" the very-much-relieved announcer stated, "to Bidder #31! You may pick up your bachelor backstage after the auction!"
Thank God that's over, Glen thought darkly as he stalked backstage.
Bidder #31 watched her prize walk out of sight. He's so cute when he's flustered, she thought to herself.
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"Number 14!"
Nobody made any jokes when Mark got up and walked out. He walked by the group of Paramedics who were loading the unconscious stage hand onto a stretcher, and stood behind the curtain. The same annoying person who'd frowned on him wearing his Undertaker hat earlier started fussing over him, brushing lint off his tuxedo jacket.
"Ok, Mr. Callaway, out you go...we've got some music just for you! And remember to smile, please!"
The moment Mark stepped out from behind the curtain, the 'special music' began to play: Hot Chocolate's You Sexy Thing.
Mark saw red. He could just picture the reaction back in the waiting room, and he was pretty sure that if there were any other Divas in the audience, they were laughing their cute little tails off. Somebody would die for this one, that much he was sure of.
The announcer, still shaken from Glen's time on stage, actually winced when the music started playing and Mark walked out. He looked like he wanted to get Mark out of there as quickly as possible, so he started the bidding right away.
Mark sent mental thanks toward the poor announcer for that slight bit of kindness. Looks like Glen had fun scaring the crap out of him.
"$7,600 going once!" the announcer's voice startled him out of his thoughts.
It's almost over...yes!
"...going twice..."
The amount rose to an even $15,000. Aw, crap, was Mark's first thought, but he almost smiled when the announcer yelled,
"SOLD to Bidder #27! You may pick up your bachelor backstage after the auction!"
Mark stomped backstage with a look of death in his eyes. The annoying stage hand approached him almost immediately.
"Mr. Callaway! What happened to the smile? It would've gone so well with the music I picked out!"
"You picked out the music?" Mark's voice was Undertaker flat.
The man nodded, seemingly indignant that Mark didn't appear to appreciate his efforts.
It all happened so fast, nobody had a chance to do anything. The annoying stage hand found himself the recipient of a Tombstone Piledriver, courtesy of an Undertaker in a tuxedo.
At the resounding 'thud', Vince and Stephanie came running. Stephanie closed her eyes and slapped her hand over them when she saw what had happened, while Vince seemed like he was about to pop a vein.
"DAMMIT, 'TAKER!" Vince roared. "That's the second stage hand we've lost tonight! You and your 'brother' have got to learn to control your tempers!"
The WWE Chairman would've continued ranting, had Stephanie not grabbed her father's arm upon seeing the 'Don't fuck with me right now' look Mark was giving them. Vince glowered at Mark, who met his eyes briefly before continuing on to the waiting room.
When he walked in, everyone - even Adam - wisely kept silent. Glen nodded in welcome as his 'brother' sat down beside him.
"We heard the 'thud' and Vince's ranting...how'd you take yours out?" he asked quietly.
"Tombstone," Mark replied. "How else?"
Glen laughed. "They should learn not to make us participate in these things."
"Hopefully that got the point across," Mark muttered.
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"Number 15!"
Chris Jericho let his breath out slowly before getting to his feet. He was not looking forward to this at all. He was only doing it for all the Jerichoholics that he knew would be in the audience, waiting to bid on him. He arrived behind the curtain and straightened his tie as a stage hand fussed over him.
Y2J glowered at the annoyance. I thought Glen and Mark took care of all the annoying ones...guess I was wrong.
"Back off, assclown," Chris snapped before stepping through the curtain and onto the runway.
He went through the motions of catering to the ladies before standing by the announcer as his price climbed higher. Finally the announcer called out,
"$15,000 going once...going twice..."
The price soared to $30,000, and surprised murmurs ran through the audience.
"SOLD to Bidder #34!" The announcer proclaimed. "You may pick up your bachelor backstage after the auction!"
As Chris headed backstage, a pleased grin on his face at bringing in more money than any of the previous superstars, Bidder #34 grinned as she watched him go.
I knew that'd make him smile.
Chris strode back into the waiting room, a pleased smirk on his face, which only widened when he saw the glowers directed at him.
"How the hell did you rate more money than any of the others?" John demanded.
Y2J grinned at the World Heavyweight Champion and patted him on the shoulder.
"Higher quality brings a higher price, John...everyone knows that."
Mutterings of 'yeah, right' and 'whatever' could be heard, but Chris cheerfully ignored them. Nothing could take this great feeling away from him...he'd outscored all but five of his contemporaries, and he could hardly wait to see how close the five remaining superstars would come to beating him...only to fall short at the last minute.
Meanwhile, the last five bachelors were growing increasinly uneasy. With Chris having returned to the waiting room, it meant only one thing: they were next.
Up Next: The last five bachelors go on the block!
R&R!