Unspoken
By mihoyonagi
Chapter 47: Preparation
He heard her sigh heavily after the note had been read.
"I'm glad your friend wrote this. If it wasn't for his letter, it might have been Cloud's sword that met you at the door this morning, not his fist."
Sephiroth, sourly, rubbed his face. Despite not being hit with a sword, his face still hurt and the blow had succeeded in giving him one hell of a fat lip. His ego was severely bruised as well. Though he understood the situation well enough, and somewhat forgave Cloud for his brash action, he was still slightly irritated.
Aerith let out another sigh, her eyes unfocused; an obvious indication that, while her body was presently standing next to Sephiroth, her mind was miles away. Sephiroth brought her back to reality with a gentle touch to her shoulder. He tossed his head slightly, toward the stairs. It was late, they both knew, and neither had slept much at all.
She smiled slightly, looking up to him, and placed her hand atop the one that rested upon her shoulder. Giving his hand a squeeze in an action that seemed to more reassure herself than grant him the favor of relief, Aerith began up the stairs.
They remained quiet as they ventured up the stairs and toward their respective bedrooms, though Sephiroth was certain he could feel the despair that was beginning to emanate off of Aerith. Her eyes half closed from strain and stress, her paleness, her obvious unease; it pained Sephiroth to see his beloved flower girl hurting so. Without much thought, he placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her into her bedroom.
"Seph?" she questioned, turning her head slightly toward him. He pushed her to the bed, gently, allowing her to sit and ease herself onto the mattress. Then pulling the shades down and shutting the door, he plunged the room into darkness.
"Seph?" It was only a whisper that sounded across the room.
He pulled the covers up, covering Aerith's tiny frame beneath them. Only after making sure she was comfortable did he lie down next to her. He gathered her tiny body up in his arms, leaning on his side and sharing the pillow with her. Letting his hand lazily find rest on her hip, Sephiroth leaned forward and kissed Aerith lightly on her forehead.
The smile on her face was obvious, even in the dark. She pressed her face against his chest let out a long breath, seemingly able to forget the troubles on her mind, if only for a moment.
Sephiroth was able to tell the moment she fell asleep, which thankfully wasn't after long. He wanted to make sure she was still happy when she fell into dreamland before he even thought to close his eyes.
Yet even in sleep his mind was filled with little else but her.
She truly had spun some magnificent spell upon him.
It was the feather-light of Aerith's fingertips on his face that brought him back to the world of the conscious. She smiled at him when his lids fluttered open, and he couldn't help the small smile he returned.
"It's almost seven at night. We've slept through the whole day."
Sephiroth shrugged. He was sure Cloud had most likely spent most of his day sleeping as well, what with having been up nearly as long. Besides, it wasn't as though Sephiroth was in any hurry to visit the crater again. Sure, he wanted Jenova gone, but the actual process of ridding the planet of that parasite was going to be trouble.
"We should get going." Sephiroth could hear the sadness seep back in Aerith's voice. He had given her at least a few hours of comfort, which, given what they had to face within the next few days, was all he could afford. It was going to be one hell of a trip.
Still, he rolled over and pulled himself from her, standing up and offering her a hand. She took it, as he knew she would, and stood beside him. Sephiroth flipped the shades open for her, allowing what light from the sunset that could filter through the tress surrounding their cottage in.
He found his way to his own room, despite the dimly lit hallway, and put on a new set of clothing. He pulled a few things – a heavier sweater, another pair of pants, and few pairs of socks – from the drawers he had only placed them in the day before. Without much care, he tossed them into the bag he had become so used to carrying, and had one last long look about his room.
It was a bit of an empty feeling, Sephiroth noted, as he stood in the doorway of the cottage he had, once upon a time, become so accustomed to living in. Strange as it seemed, Sephiroth looked at what little belongings he had gathered upon his and Aerith's venture across the world and vaguely wondered if he would ever see them again: a conical, swirling seashell; a chocobo feather the color of his eyes; a dried posy flower that reminded him of Aerith whenever he looked at it. He heaved a sigh as he closed the room to his door, hoping dearly that he would come back.
It wasn't a question of strength Sephiroth was confronted with: it was a matter of will.
Would he be able to save Aerith if there ever arose such an occasion he felt he had to? He knew, without thinking on it, that he would give his life to save her. Yet, he realized that therein would lay the problem between them; if one of them were to die, so would, then, the other. It was both their gift and their curse- they were bonded to one another, on a level most humans couldn't begin to imagine.
He silently resolved, as he descended the wooden steps of their tiny cottage, that whatever would be would be, and that he would try his damndest to make sure Aerith was a part of what would be. Everything he once sought, everything he once knew to be true, had been upended as he had traveled with Aerith: she was his unmoving rock, his new reality, his everything, and Sephiroth doubted that, since he had spilled his heart to her, he would be able to leave without her. It was hilarious, now that he thought on it, that he had tried to leave her in the first place. She was as much a part of him as he was of her- they were the sun and the moon, the light and the darkness, and neither could survive without the other.
The town of Mideel, tourist season having ended, was shutting down for the night while Aerith and Sephiroth walked through the streets as the sun climbed behind the sea, burying the world in star-speckled darkness. Several people waved hello – or goodbye, as it was obvious the two were leaving again – but few said anything.
Cloud had been telling the truth in whereupon the Highwind had been parked. It had been quite some time since Sephiroth had been on any type of flying contraption and, considering how horribly his stomach had taken to boats, doubted he would be able to hold much of his stomach contents down. Not only was their trip going to be filled with tension and anxiety, it would be highly uncomfortable and would most likely, at least for him, be filled with many-a-trips to the bathroom.
It wasn't, however, Cloud that awaited them at the bow of the Highwind. It was, much to Sephiroth's surprise, Tifa. A warming smile took over the pugilists' face as the two female friends met, and all of a sudden Sephiroth felt rather out of place. Tifa, opening her arms, ran toward Aerith, each engulfing the other in a tight hug.
"Oh, Aerith," Tifa sobbed, resting her head against that of her once lost friend.
All Sephiroth thought Aerith able to do at the moment was cry; several attempts were made at words, so much was clear, but nothing legible left Aerith's lips for several minutes.
Finally, the two girls pulled away.
"I can't believe you're back!" Tifa wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand.
Aerith smiled, somewhat sheepishly. "I'm sorry I didn't come seek you out sooner, Teef- what with everything that's been happening since I was brought back, and-"
Tifa held up a hand, silencing her friend. "You know I can't stay mad at you, no matter what, Aerith. Cloud told me you had your reasons."
Turning her head, Aerith looked back to Sephiroth, meeting his gaze out of the corner of her eyes. Instantly, Sephiroth watched as Tifa became rigid, her gaze falling from happy to enraged.
Obviously understanding that the level of tension in the immediate area had just become thick enough to suffocate someone, Aerith distracted Tifa by looping her arm through that of her friends' and turning her toward the Highwind. "Wow, an actual airship! I think I remember seeing this in Junon, when I was traveling with you and Cloud before. The Highwind, right? Yuffie told me she can't stand to ride this thing- that it makes her sick to her stomach."
Apparently, Aerith was good at distractions, considering that the tension level decreased greatly and Sephiroth found that he could breathe again.
Tifa laughed. "I forgot that you never got to ride on it. I'm surprised Yuffie can even stand to walk, with how motion sick she gets! She's inside, and so are Vincent and Red, if you're ready to board. We've all been waiting for you."
Aerith smiled. "I'm sorry it took so long. I was so tired. We stayed up so late last night, talking to Cloud and everything, and we lost track of time."
It was an awkward venture for Sephiroth for he, while following silently behind Aerith who was being lead by Tifa, was pretty much being ignored completely by both women. He understood well enough that Aerith was trying to distract her friend and avoid conflict between them all, but that didn't mean he liked being overlooked any less. He felt out of place and alienated, a feeling he had only recently begun to overcome.
He mused silently to himself for a few moments, mentally berating himself for his selfishness. Sephiroth had already traveled the world over with Aerith in his everyday company. While he wanted nothing more than to be by her side, he also knew that she had another life, a separate life from him, that would need time to merge with the life they lead while just the two of them.
Without much thought, he knew it was going to be tough convincing both Cloud and Tifa that he meant to bring happiness to Aerith, instead of misery. It was going to be difficult, traveling with all of them. Hopefully having Vincent, Yuffie, and Red by his side would improve upon his chances of Cloud and Tifa not completely hating his mere existence. It was a long shot, but it was worth a try.
Upon the deck, everyone greeted Aerith once more. Red rubbed against her legs, then looked to Sephiroth and gave him a somewhat satisfied nod of his head. Vincent, after laying an affectionate hand on Aerith's shoulder and welcoming her back into their ragtag group of once-heroes, slowly made his way toward Sephiroth. Holding his arm out, the gunman offered his hand in greeting. Without much thought, Sephiroth took and shook what was quite possible, aside from Aerith of course, the closest thing to an ally he had in the room.
Out of the corner of his eyes, however, Sephiroth noticed Tifa shift uncomfortably and take a step closer to Cloud, having noticed the small exchanges between Red, Vincent, and Sephiroth. It was more than apparent how uncomfortable she was in his presence, and so the swordsman took a step backward, away from the crowd in the middle of the room. The last thing Sephiroth wanted at this point was to stir up any kind of trouble. They, after all, had the same communal goal of ridding the world of the parasite Jenova. It simply wouldn't do for them to all fight amongst themselves about other matters until Jenova was taken care of.
Sephiroth watched as Yuffie bounded over, hugging Aerith close and smiling widely toward Tifa. "It's just like old times!" she chanted, gleefully. "And since we won't get to the crater until tomorrow, we even have time for a sleepover tonight!" The excitable ninja turned to Sephiroth, still smiling, evidently having not taken in the seriousness of the situation. Either that, or Yuffie was simply trying to mask her fear with an overabundance of excitement and pep . "Seph can make us pancakes, like back in Nibelheim, too! I want chocolate chips in mine this time, and-"
It was apparent to all in the room, excluding Yuffie of course, that such a little statement could have quite the impact. Tifa looked suddenly to Cloud as if searching for direction, while Cloud tried not to look stiff over hearing that Yuffie seemed to be on such a friendly basis with Sephiroth already. Vincent and Red glanced, rather uncomfortably, toward one another.
Thankfully, just like earlier, Aerith seemed to have a knack for distractions and immediately interrupted the young girl. "Actually, Yuffie, before we do anything else, do you think that you could show Sephiroth and I to our rooms? This shoulder bag is getting heavy, and I want to see the ship before we take off."
Yuffie, still oblivious to the impact her simple sentence had made only seconds before, smiled even wider, were it at all possible, and took Aerith by the hand. "Come on: you too, Seph!"
Sephiroth didn't need to be told twice, even by Yuffie; he was at Aerith's heels within an instant, following the two ladies out of the room and away from the massive cloud of tension that hung like a dead man in the room.
Yuffie was still chatting while the three of them made their way down one of the smaller corridors of the airship and toward what would become their lodging for the trip. It didn't come as any surprise to Sephiroth that whoever had given rooms out had made sure not to place Sephiroth and Aerith near one another's rooms. It seemed that the gentlemen were to take one side of the hallway, while the women took residence on the other, Sephiroth smack-dab between, or at least according to Yuffie, Vincent's room and Cloud's room.
Biting his lip, Sephiroth made due with the reality of the situation: he was going to be somewhat of a prisoner while aboard the ship.
He decided, however, to let them think what they would. Jenova was a more important matter on his mind than what Aerith's friends thought of him at the moment. If getting some peace meant keeping to his room, Sephiroth would be fine with the situation. Staying out of everyone's way would ensure that he wouldn't anger someone, however accidental.
Sephiroth bid Aerith and Yuffie a slight farewell with a curt bow of his head, then promptly disappeared into this room. Despite not having been awake for more than a few hours, his mind was exhausted. The entire time he and Aerith had walked the thin forest paths that wound their way to the fields outside of Mideel his heart had been beating a mile a minute. Sephiroth's anxiety level had shot through the roof. True, he had managed to hold his composure better than most, but that didn't mean that he hadn't been shaking in his boots the entire time.
The most awkward thing to Sephiroth wasn't that he feared any of Aerith's friends. No, it was that she might, while in the company of her friends, change her mind about him. Of course, he knew that Aerith wasn't the type to change fancies on the mere whim of words, but that didn't mean Sephiroth was without doubts. A bit of a pessimist it seemed he had turned into as of late, always assuming the worst. Perhaps, he mused half-heartedly, he should stop being such a downer. He had, after all, managed to gain the affections of his beloved flower girl in the first place. It was obvious he had what he wanted; Aerith's heart. He was, then, afraid to loose the only thing he truly cared for.
Sephiroth hadn't noticed he'd fallen into a light slumber until a soft knock restored his perception of reality. The soft light of the lamp that sat atop the bedside table was turned up to a more bright glow before Sephiroth moved to open the door.
Aerith stood in the doorway, her head crooked at a slight angle, with a plate of food in her hands. She walked into his room without instruction, closing the door with her foot while flashing him a smile.
"I thought you might be hungry. I snuck away from everyone to come bring you some dinner."
Sephiroth accepted the plate graciously, warming his face for her to see his gratitude. Aerith's smile widened.
"Mind if I sit with you while you eat?"
Absentmindedly, Sephiroth shook his head, pacing back to his bed and picking up the fork. Just as he hadn't realized how tired he had been until he had lain down, he hadn't realized how hungry he was until he had food before him. He ate everything she had brought to him, delighted in the fact that she had also managed to sneak him out a piece of pie. Leave it to Aerith to remember his liking for the sugary confection. It wasn't cake, but it was nearly as good.
After finishing his meal, then turning to place the plate down next to him, Sephiroth reached for his notebook.
'Thank you.'
Aerith smiled up at him again, shrugging. "I thought you might be hungry, and I didn't want you to miss out on dinner." She leaned her head against his shoulder and let out a heavy sigh.
Again, Sephiroth reached for his notebook.
'That's not what I was initially thanking you for, though the food was appreciated. I wanted to thank you for all that you've done for me in these past months.'
She shook her head at him. "You were the one who had to take the steps, Sephiroth: they are your feet. I'm just the one that pushed you."
He looked down at her, his sweet piece of heaven, and brushed a stray lock of hair from her eyes. He wrote her another message.
'It was my own feet I was forced to step with, yes, but it was you who gave me wings. You've changed me from a monster to a man.'
At this message, Aerith laughed. "You were always a man. You had just lost your way and mixed up your footing is all. A person never knows where their lives will lead them, but they always know that their feet will carry them there. If someone else meets them on their journey and their paths converge into one, then they are no longer lonely."
He looked at her with a slight pang of guilt in his eyes.
'Do you think that defeating Jenova will allow you to hear the planet again?'
Aerith sighed, purposefully hiding her eyes so that she wouldn't have to meet his gaze. After a few moments, she bit her lip. "I really hope so."
Hoping to comfort her, he placed a feather-light kiss atop her forehead.
'Even if you can't hear it, I will always be here for you, Aerith. I meant it when I told you that I love you.'
Her smiled returned, warming Sephiroth down to his toes.
A sudden knock tore the two from their musings. Aerith stood and pulled the door open, revealing Yuffie with an exasperated look set upon her features. "When you didn't come back, Cloud got worried so he sent me to come get you. He's being such a chocobo-head, though. Can I hang out here, with you guys?"
Never one to turn someone away, Aerith moved aside and invited Yuffie in. Though Sephiroth was disappointed that their moment had disappeared, he moved over to make room for both girls to join him sitting upon the bed. He had, after all, taken a slight liking to Yuffie. She was loud, obnoxious, opinionated, and all that Aerith didn't seem to be. It was enjoyable to be in Yuffie's company for the sheer fact that nobody quite knew what would fall next from her brain and out her mouth.
"I thought you said you got sick when you ride on this thing?" Aerith commented, settling into a comfortable position on the bed between both Sephiroth and Yuffie.
Shrugging, Yuffie let the comment slide away. "Vincent gave me a few Hypers before we took off. The effect won't last super-long, but it'll be long enough to count. So, what do you guys think about all of this?"
Aerith shuddered, rubbing her hands up and down her forearms. "I'm scared, Yuffie. I thought this was a battle we had already won."
Yuffie nodded in agreement. "To tell you the truth, I'm really sick and tired of all this bullshit fighting we always have to do. I mean, sure, I like playing the hero and all, but I'm human too you know. I get tired like everyone else. I wish we didn't have to fight anymore. I wish I could just…"
Tilting his head, Sephiroth set a curious look on his face aimed at the young girl sitting across from him.
"I just want to be able to settle down a little bit. We're always on the run, you know? Even when it was just Vincent and I up in Nibelheim, we still helped some of the guides take groups through the mountain pass just to make sure the monsters weren't harassing people."
Not being able to help the smile that drifted to her lips, Aerith teased Yuffie and poked at her side. "Our little Yuffie, talking of wanting to settle down? Oh, sweetie, you've met someone haven't you?"
The shade of red that Yuffie's face turned to was an instant indication that Aerith had hit something the young ninja wasn't quite prepared for.
It was, then, just in Yuffie's good fortune, that another knock sounded at the door. "I'll get it!" Yuffie bounded off the bed, obviously thanking Leviathan's shining scales that they had been interrupted.
Sephiroth shot Aerith a small, knowing smile before either of them turned their attention to the door and who stood within its frame.
"Cloud sent me to check on you checking on Aerith checking on Sephiroth, if any part of that statement made a lick of sense." Red scratched at his nose with his paw before sauntering past Yuffie and sitting down near the bed, apparently wanting nothing to do with anything that was past the span of his slight personal interest. "Dinner was too boring to stay put anyway. Sitting at a table is uncomfortable and awkward, not to mention simply silly considering I don't have thumbs to hold a fork with in the first place, and eating on the floor is somewhat degrading when everyone else is on a chair and no one feels it polite to come and eat with me."
Yuffie scratched Red behind an ear, absentmindedly. "I offered to sit with you, but you said that you would be fine!"
Red's brightly lit tail-flame flickered slightly. "I refused out of politeness. That, and it was apparent you would rather sit next to Tifa and tell her jokes. What was that last clever one where you asked if she liked sea-food, then promptly opened your mouth full to show her all of your chewed up dinner? I don't think I get it."
Sephiroth bit his lip, trying to keep himself from smirking. That sure sounded like Yuffie.
Vincent, surprising everyone in the room, chuckled once. No one had noticed his entrance. He silently closed the door. "You wouldn't believe how many times she played that joke on me at home. At nearly every meal her mouth would open and divulge unto the world the swirling mass of chewed-up food."
Yuffie, rolling her eyes and stomping her foot impatiently, stuck her finger out toward Vincent in a most affronted manner. "I never did it that often, Vincent Valentine, and you know it."
Smirking behind his cape, Vincent countered the assault. "It was enough times for me to come to hate that joke with all of my being."
Everyone, excluding Yuffie of course, snickered. Even Sephiroth found himself covering his mouth with the palm of his hand in an attempt to keep his silent laughter to himself.
The night wore on with much of the same antics, and laughter lightened the hearts of all those within the room. Sephiroth found himself to be slightly surprised at how easily he seemed to get along with, as well as enjoy the shared company of, the majority of Aerith's friends.
It was nearing the deep hours of the night when, once more, a knock at the door sounded. Yuffie, without thinking, bounced up and threw the door open in a rush, surprising both the occupants of the room as well as Cloud who merely stood in the doorway for a moment before finding the words he had obviously swallowed a moment before. "Tifa says it's a good idea if everyone gets a good night sleep tonight. We're almost there, and we need to get going as soon as we can in the morning."
Yuffie waved her hand in the air, brushing off Tifa's motherly instinct. "We're having fun, Cloud! I mean, honestly- when is the next time everyone is going to get together like this? Hell, spikey, when was the last time we got together like this? Cut us some slack!"
Cloud rolled his eyes. "Yuffie, we all have a job to do. There's going to be lots of time to hang out and have fun after this is all finished."
Vincent put his hand on Yuffie's shoulder when it was obvious, based on the fact that she puffed out her lower lip and set her arms upon her hips in what was quite the theatrical mock-pout, the conversation wasn't going to end well. "Perhaps Cloud is right," Vincent offered. "It will do none of us any good if we are tired tomorrow."
Heaving the heaviest sigh she could muster, Yuffie turned and waved to those in the room. "Vincent says I have to go to bed now." She was still pouting, though the theatrics had been toned down.
After everyone had left the room, save for Aerith and Sephiroth, Cloud poked his head back in. "You going to be alright, Aerith?"
She nodded in affirmation, smiling ever so slightly. "Sephiroth and I were just talking before everyone showed up, that's all. I'm fine, Cloud."
It was not out of spite that Sephiroth had left his notebook sitting on his bed-side table. It was, more or less, forgetfulness. Sephiroth hadn't, after all, meant to leave his notebook on the table. The table had merely been where it had ended up being set down last, and since Sephiroth had been so intently listening to the stories of Vincent, Yuffie, Red, and Aerith, he had forgotten completely that he had not only left his notebook there in the first place, but he had forgotten to close the damn thing as well.
Just as well, neither had Cloud meant to read it- it was simply something his eyes glanced over when he turned his head. It had, however, caught his attention none the less.
'I meant it when I told you that I love you' was written atop a new page, face up and bare for all the world to see.
Cloud's face took on a deep shade of red, though be it from anger or embarrassment Sephiroth couldn't tell: the boy shut the door so fast and so suddenly that even Aerith jumped.
"Was Cloud's face all pink, or am I seeing things?" Aerith turned to Sephiroth, throwing him a quizzical look.
Sephiroth reached over, took the notebook from its resting place, and flashed it at Aerith. It was apparent from the look on her face that she understood instantly what had just passed.
"I guess the moogle is out of the bag now, isn't it?"
Stealing his pen up, Sephiroth again flashed the notebook at Aerith.
'It wasn't the best way to tell him, but perhaps it was the easiest. At least he didn't make a scene. He was going to find out sooner or later anyway, wasn't he?'