Teva stared after Logan and knew she'd narrowly escaped something, wasn't entirely sure if that was okay with her or not. Her body still burned and she'd never had a man look at her like he wanted to devour her, mark her, claim her as his own. The emotions she'd gotten from him were jumbled, a mess of things she understood and others she didn't. She needed to get out of her room, away from the scene of the crime so to speak, and her need for calm took her to the greenhouse, but she found she wasn't alone when she got there.
Professor Xavier sat in his wheelchair, a colorful granny square afghan thrown over his legs, and he smiled when he saw her. If he noticed her disheveled appearance he didn't remark on it.
"Hello, Teva."
She nodded in greeting, taking a seat on the bench he sat next to. "I guess I'm not the only one who needed some quiet."
"It's peaceful here," he agreed. "I wanted to ask you if the telepathy lessons were benefiting you, we haven't had much time to talk lately what with my being gone at Congress." He was speaking out against the Mutant Registration Act as he always did.
"Aye, they're helping greatly, Charles. I admit I'm still struggling to maintain my shields and since I dinnae have anyone else to practice with while you're gone, it's been difficult for me to keep up on what you've been teaching me."
"Would a brief lesson now help?"
She wasn't sure if she wanted him in her head when she'd just been making out with Logan not ten minutes before, but she nodded. "I guess so, it cannae hurt to try."
"Good girl. Just relax, Teva, like always."
There was the gentlest brush against her mind and she let him in, lowering her shields just enough to allow the link to establish. It was always easier with him guiding her. ~Can you hear me?~ came his disembodied voice, sounding as if it was pulled from her own subconscious.
She struggled to find her own voice, like using a muscle that had atrophied. ~Aye, I can hear you.~
~Excellent.~ She felt rather than saw him smile. ~Now, let's see if you can still maintain the link on your own.~ She felt him withdraw and panicked for a moment, still so unsure of herself despite the fact she'd done it numerous times in the recent past. Her hands lifted as if to catch him and hold him there and then she felt the link stabilize. She breathed a little easier.
~Wonderful, Teva. You grow stronger with every session. Now, see if you can still withdraw from my mind on your own.~
The panic came back, because she could feel the strength of his mind dwarfing hers. There was no hostile intent in him, though, and after a few moments of intense concentration she was able to pull her mind out.
Her eyes opened and she felt herself sway, a little weak and dizzy as she always was after such a feat.
"Careful, child, it will take a few moments to adjust to being back on this plane." He patted her arm. "Just breath normally."
There was something surreal to her about being called 'child' but she didn't protest because it felt right to hear that from him. He was the parent she'd wanted growing up, the one she'd prayed her own parents would turn into despite knowing she'd always be disappointed.
"Now, how have you been doing, otherwise?"
Teva shrugged, fiddling with her rings. "No so bad, I guess I'm still not sure if I want to teach, at least not a lot of kids or anything. I might be able to do private, individual lessons with piano and guitar, maybe voice."
"That would be wonderful, Teva. All you have to do is let me know when you'd like to start." He smiled that warm, encompassing smile of his again. "And I'm glad that you have been making an attempt to integrate the people here into your life. I know it hasn't been easy for you, but it's a wonderful testament to the healing power of friends."
Teva wanted to laugh at his grand outlook on life but in a way she wanted it to be true. "How are those kids doing, the ones the others rescued?"
Xavier's smile faded. "They were only able to save four of them, out of 10, and of those four only two survived the journey here. They are recovering, but one is in a coma."
"I'm sorry that people do things like that," Teva said. "It makes me afraid to go out in public, because now people know what I am."
"You are a person, Teva. Never let anyone tell you different."
She laughed softly. "I try, Professor, but it does'nae always work." She stretched her arms over her head as she got to her feet. "I'll see you later, Charles. Thank you."
With Xavier home for the next few weeks Teva was able to continue her practice sessions with him. She continued to grow in strength and control, gaining the ability to communicate psychically when they weren't in the same room with each other. And with her growing strength she was able to finally have him remove his shields. She was amazed to find that her own were now sufficient to protect her.
"Will I be able to establish links like ours with non-telepaths?" she asked one day. They were in the garden again, their favored spot for practice.
"The stronger the other person's mind, and the more emotion you have for them, the easier it will be to form a connection," he told her, pleased that she asked so many questions. "Of course, no matter how strong their mind, the link may not be as complete as with another telepath. I do know that Scott and Jean have a unique link, and I've speculated that it helps he also carries the X gene."
She nodded, taking that in. She still found it odd to open her mind and hear the thoughts of those around her without getting headaches, and she was careful not to pry into any minds. Even if she'd wanted to, Xavier put a sort of blanket protection over everyone in the school, keeping them safe; she wasn't strong enough to get past defenses he put up, and it was doubtful she'd ever have half his strength.
"Have you see Logan lately?" she asked suddenly. He was definitely avoiding her and she wanted very badly to kick him in the shins. Possibly the bollocks, too. Even so he was the reason she'd asked about links with non-telepaths, she didn't want to be unprepared should something happen with him. He scrambled her brain and her body, made her worry about her somewhat-tentative control of her powers.
Xavier shook his head. "I've seen him less than usual the last couple of weeks. He has moods sometimes, where he just doesn't want to be around other people, but he always comes around again." He patted her hand. "I'm sure everything is fine. Take the rest of the afternoon and enjoy some of the cookies the girls have been baking all week."
Teva was more than happy to obey, her mind now on Logan rather than her lessons. She took the Professor's advice and snagged a handful of brightly decorated sugar cookies, polishing them off by the time she'd gotten to the gym. She shrugged off her light jacket and set it aside along with a bottle of water before she went through a routine that set several body-sized punching bags swinging on their chains.
When she stopped to catch her breath, something made her look up and she saw Logan standing near the door, watching her.
"You're verrae good at avoiding people," she said, unable to keep the hurt from her voice. "I was beginning to think I'd imagined that morning after breakfast."
His dark eyes followed her as she picked up the water bottle and sipped from it.
"I guess you're no going to talk to me, then. Whatever," she said angrily, turning way from him to go back to her routine. It was easy to imagine that it was him she was punching and kicking.
A strong hand stopped her arm before she could land another punch. "I almost took ya right there that day, Teva, I ain't fuckin' proud o' that."
"I was willing and ye knew that."
"Ya had no idea what ya were offerin' me, and yer gonna have to understand things before I take it."
She yanked her hand away, feeling anger suffuse her further. "Excuse me? I dinnae get a fucking choice in this?"
Logan matched the heat in her voice. "Ya do. If ya want me, ya have only me. No one else."
"Will I be the only one for you, Logan, should this come to pass?"
He growled, snarling at her. "Ya fuckin' know ya will be. I don't screw around like that."
She laughed harshly. "No, I did'nae ken that, especially since ye seem to think I'd be screwing around on you, ye wee gobshite." She crossed her arms beneath her breasts. "So when exactly will this taking of me be happening? I'd like to make sure it does'nae conflict with anything else on my schedule."
With another growl he punched one of the bags, his claws come out at the last second to shred the vinyl so that little bits of foam fell out like snow. "This isn't a fuckin' joke."
"I did'nae say it was. I'm just fucking pissed at being told what I will and will not do. If ye think to play the caveman with me I will'nae go all demure-like."
Before she could react he grabbed her, his claws retracting as he pressed his lips against hers and took possession of her mouth. She moaned, her body going liquid in his hands, and dammit, she didn't want it to right now. She was pissed.
In that moment where her body fought to keep from surrendering, some part of her remembered Xavier telling her that her shields would be weaker when her emotions ran high, when she was around someone she felt very strongly about, and that she'd have less control over her strengthened and refined telepathic powers.
On a sigh, her head tilted sideways, and she felt herself slip her body, establishing a tenuous connection with the man currently nibbling on her neck.
"What the fuck?" Logan asked, body jolting. He was looking at her and she found it hard to focus. "Teva? What the hell was that?"
She shook her head, taking a deep breath as if coming up out of water. "I ... my mind. Xavier's been helping me develop my telepathy. He warned me I'd be weaker if I lost control of myself." She wasn't completely sure what had happened in that split second, so she wasn't lying when she said, "I'm no sure exactly what just happened."
And then she pushed away from him. "Let me go, I'm pissed at ye. Ye dinnae get to manhandle me when I'm angry."
A growl laced his words as he spoke. "Don't tempt me, girl. Anger makes it better, anyway."
"Get bent, Logan. I'm no ready to deal with this. I did'nae coming here looking for something complicated." Without waiting to hear what he had to say she grabbed her jacket and stalked off.
It was a damned good thing her room was soundproofed, because she spent the next few hours banging out every heavy metal song she could think of on her Gibson.
It took a few nights to figure out that letting Logan kiss her again was the exact worst thing she could have done, especially since now all she had to guard her were her own shields, her own mental strength.
Teva had gone to bed at what was an early hour for her, having spent an exhausting but entirely fulfilling day building snow forts and snowmen families, then getting involved in a knock-down-drag-out snowball war. It left her tired and sore but very happy, very content. So she wasn't entirely pleased to have her dreams invaded.
One minute she was discussing Eastern philosophy with a purple hippo that wore a top hat and a monocle, and the next she was sprawled across a huge bed, a heavy weight pinning her into it. It took but a moment to realize who it was, and that it wasn't her dream; she knew how to get out of her own dreams but she was helpless to end this one. She wasn't sure she wanted to, anyway.
His lips were like fire on her skin, coming up to delve the depths of her mouth before moving on again, teasing her, tempting her, making her cry out for more. Her hands clenched in the sheets as her body burned. He whispered something to her that she didn't understand until he screamed it.
~Help me!~
The dream changed again, this time so violently that she was left disoriented, more so than with the usual transitions of the sleep phases. It was dark here, cold, wet, and the colors were washed out. There were people in the room dressed in strange outfits, some wearing what looked like lab coats.
She could see the edges of a tank between their legs and when they shifted places she could see a body in it, submerged in a liquid that bubbled from beneath and gave the skin a greenish cast. Whoever it was had tubes connected to them, breathing apparatus and myriad other things she couldn't even begin to identify. She heard a strangle gurgling sound and took a step forward.
There was a small holding tank filled with a liquid that looked like quicksilver, bubbles breaking on the surface as the level of the liquid dropped. A blood-curdling scream shattered the murmurs; she dropped to her knees in excruciating pain, clawing at what felt like fire burning beneath her skin.
She staggered to her feet again, leaning against a support beam while she relearned how to breathe. The pain had lessened enough for her to get closer to the tank, and what she saw there made her knees want to buckle again.
It was Logan, eyes closed as he fought to get free from something holding him down and she couldn't tell if he was actually completely aware of what was going on or if he was unconsciously reacting to the pain. The tubes connected to his body were pumping adamantium into him, fusing it to his bones, killing what he'd been to make way for the new being.
~Help me~ she heard again, a whisper so filled with pain that it brought tears to her eyes.
His own eyes opened then and, as he screamed the words once more, she woke up.
Teva lay there sobbing for a moment, clutching the sheets to her chest and wondering what the hell had just happened. Before she was entirely aware of her actions she had pulled on clothes and was out her door, hesitating at Logan's before opening it.
He was moving restlessly, the sheets tangled around his legs and the pillow tossed onto the floor, ripped open in three furrows that leaked fluff. The claws were nowhere to be seen now but she was still reluctant to get too close; she'd seen the damage they could do.
The only chance she would have would be to use her mind to get into his, this time with every ounce of control and awareness she had. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, then felt herself fall away.
~Logan~ she said, hoping the use of his name would draw him out. ~Logan, it's a nightmare. You're stronger than it. Fight back.~
~Can't~ came the reply. ~Don't know how.~
Her astral self opened her eyes and she found herself back in that room, the same scene being played out. She merely wished the people out of existence and they were gone, leaving only her, and Logan in the tank.
She drifted forward, looking down at him, all the tubes covered his body. ~They're gone now. You have nothing left to fight.~ With barely a thought the tubes disappeared and he was free.
He leapt out of the water, grabbing at her in a panic. She felt one fist pressed under her chin, ready to spring forth claws should she prove a threat.
Free now of the dream, they both came back to their bodies, gasping for air.
Teva was surprised to find Logan hold her the same way, fist pressed under her chin. When he saw her he let go, tumbling off the bed in an effort to get away.
"Goddammit," he growled, scrubbing at his face with both hands, seemingly unaware he was naked. "What in God's name are ya doin' in here? I could have killed you!"
She shook on the bed, hugging her arms around her middle as she tried to get used to being back in her body. That had been the most difficult, painful thing she'd ever done. "I - ye pulled me into your nightmare. I managed to wake up but I knew ye were stuck in there, still."
"How the hell could I have done that?"
"Our minds. Or my mind, more specifically." As she breathed deeply she felt herself begin to calm down, even as the man behind her panicked a bit. "Just like I seem to make ye lose control by merely existing, whenever you're around it's everything I can do to keep my barriers up. Ye knock them all down with just a kiss." She ran fingers through her sleep-tangled hair. "Xavier told me it was a possibility that a link could form between me and anyone I felt strong emotion towards, and I'd say that ye qualify."
Logan stood by the window, arms braced against the wall with his back towards her.
"Say something? Please?" She hated to hear pleading in her voice.
"I didn't get a whole hell of a lot o' choice in this telepathic shit," he growled. "Gimme a fuckin' second to deal with it."
Teva shut her mouth, feeling tears coming into her eyes again. She bit back a sob and screwed her eyes shut, willing the pain away.
"Dammit, Tev," he said, and then he was sitting next to her, pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry, darlin', I really am. I didn't make it any easier on ya by pushin'."
"No, ye did'nae," she said, but there wasn't much heat to her voice. "I'm sorry that I did what I did tonight. It made the bond stronger, and there's no way to break it without a whole hell of a lot of pain and work."
He stroked her hair, holding her head against his shoulder. "I didn't say I wanted the link broken, now did I?" He tilted her chin up to make her look at him. "There was somethin' there between us even before this, and we both know it."
A thought seemed to occur to him. "Were ya there before the nightmare, or did ya come in durin' it?"
She blushed, heat creeping up her face. "Um ... there were a few minutes before that. I -"
"Don't finish that sentence. I don't think my heart could stand it." He looked down at her and she could see he was still uncomfortable but that he was trying. "Stay with me tonight? I promise I won't molest ya."
"Says the naked man holding me in his arms." It shocked a laugh out of her. "Are ye sure? Ye seemed verrae ready to go before."
"After that nightmare I don't have it in me." He shuddered involuntarily and let her go to dig a pair of jogging shorts out of his dresser, pulling them on. "On my honor, or whatever the hell ya want, I'll keep my hands and all other body parts to myself."
A smile bloomed on her face. "If ye think ye can hold me and still be a gentlemen and, uh, keep the clawing to a minimum, I'll stay."
"Not a problem." He crawled back into bed and pulled her in with him. She felt content enough to push her body back into his so that they spooned together, tugging one of his arms around so that she could hug it. She shook a bit as she settled down, her mind still processing what she'd done with it, but she was aware enough even as she drifted off that he was still awake. Her last waking thought was to wonder if he would stay awake all night, or if he was just waiting for her to sleep before he let himself follow.