Chapter Five—Kings & Queens

It has been one week since the gang graduated and Red Forman had his heart attack.

One week.

Eric and Donna decided to stay for the summer and leave a week before classes began; Kitty Forman took on double shifts at the hospital; Laurie left, three days after it all happened, for her honeymoon (minus her husband) at the request of her mother for her father's sake; and Jackie and Hyde hardly spoke to one another.

Red Forman was lucky; the doctors agreed he would make a complete recovery, but they kept him in the hospital so he would get plenty of rest while they continued to monitor him. To pass away his days, he watched some TV, read some books, let Kitty smother him, and did some serious thinking. Steven and Eric had been in to see him once a day, and he gladly put them in their places when the need arose. In some ways he was rather glad Laurie wasn't around, but in the same thought he missed her too.

And that's when he decided something had to be done about his little kitten.

Time and time again she would leave for months at a time, never thinking about letting her family know her whereabouts until one day out of the blue she would show up on the doorstep, acting as if nothing was the matter. And it was only then when she knew her family—when she wanted something. Money, Red thought with a disgusted scowl on his face, she always returns when she needs money. And now she's gone and married the goofy foreign kid! It was then that Red decided on something; something Laurie might not like or appreciate.

Just then Kitty hustled into his room. She stopped in front of him and stooped down to give him a quick peck on the cheek, briefly interrupting his thoughts.

"So, did you miss me while I was gone?" she asked him sweetly as she began to fluff the pillows behind him.

"Huh?" he grunted in reply. "Oh oh, of course, Kitty. But if it's not you, then it's some other meddling nurse fretting over me."

"Well, I thought I'd just stop by before I head home," she informed him, ignoring his comment as she fluffed up a pillow. "Is there anything you want Steven to smuggle in for you?"

"Nah, I think I'm good," Red answered as he reverted his thoughts back to earlier.

"Oh, well okay then," Kitty said as she straightened his bed sheets, "If you don't need anything, I'm heading home for a few hours."

Red grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips where he planted a soft sweet kiss on the back of it. "Kitty," he said softly, "we need to talk about Laurie."

Smiling sadly down at him, Kitty slowly nodded her head. "I know, Red, I know."

"Kitty," he said sternly, "if she's married now, even to a goofy foreigner, she can't stay in the house. Not anymore. She's come crawling back to us too many times only to disappear without a trace for months at a time, and I'm done with it."

"Oh Red," Kitty sighed, tears stinging her eyes in a mixture of emotions.

"No, don't argue with me, I've washed my hands of it," Red firmly informed her. "She's not getting any help from us on getting out of this jam."

Kitty nodded her head vigorously in agreement. "No, you're right, Red. She's been irresponsible and thoughtless, and she needs a good—"

"Foot in the ass," Red finished. "Yeah, I know."

"Well, I mean, she did do something nice for someone else for a change," Kitty remarked slightly in her daughter's defense. "I, personally, never thought she had the heart to do that, but maybe she's growing up some."

Red sighed heavily. "Yeah, but she's still irresponsible. Well, if she's not living with us anymore, she'll learn real quick about responsibility."

Kitty nodded her head again. "Well, it'll be interesting," she muttered.

Red raised his eyebrows as if asking what she had just said; Kitty laughed nervously. "Well, I better be going." She quickly pecked Red on the forehead and scurried for the door.

"Oh, and uh, Kitty," Red said making her hesitantly turn around to face him, "Tell Steven to bring me something from Fatso Burger."

"But Red, you can't have anyth—" Kitty began but Red cut her off.

"Look, I don't care what those damn doctors say. If I have to be cooped up in this room for one more week, then I can at least enjoy some tasty food instead of this imitation pile of crap they serve here."

Kitty snickered. "Okay Red," she said as she turned around and headed out the door.

Red folded his arms back and propped his hands behind his head, proud of himself for ordering and most likely getting some real food. "Stick that in your pipes and smoke it, dumbasses," he said to no one but himself.

Meanwhile alone in the basement, Hyde sat in his chair reading The Lord of the Rings. Inspired to do so by his rock hero, Robert Plant (front man of Led Zeppelin), Hyde secretly bought the three books that made it up. After all, he didn't want the gang to know that in his spare time, when they weren't around, he actually read books on the sly. Then perhaps they'd have a better clue as to how smart he really was. So, after reading for a good half hour, Hyde moved from his chair to the couch to continue reading. Lying down, Hyde read for almost an hour before his eyes grew tired and his eyelids became heavy, slowly drooping until they finally fluttered shut. The book slipping from his fingers dropped on his chest, opened to the page he was on. Soon he was lost in dreamland.

Dressed as Aragorn, Hyde found himself traveling through Middle-Earth with the fellowship in tow. "Misty Mountain Hop" by Led Zeppelin could be heard playing softly in the background. Stopping for a moment to rest as they hiked closer to the Misty Mountains, everyone dropped their supplies they were carrying and sat down. Standing nearby Hyde was Eric dressed as Frodo.

"Hey Strider, how much further til we reach Mordor?" he asked his friend.

"Quite a ways, halfling," Hyde answered.

"Hey Greybeard," shouted Kelso from his resting spot dressed as Pippin, "what's the name of those mountains over there that look kinda misty-like?"

Sighing with a shake of his head and a roll of his eyes, Red dressed in grey as Gandalf the Grey, replied, "The Misty Mountains, you fool of a Took! I swear you Tooks are nothing but dumbasses."

"So, have we decided which way we will take?" asked Donna who was dressed like Sam.

"We're going around them," Red stated bluntly. "No questions about it."

Just then Kitty, dressed as Legolas, shouted, "Look! A flock of blackbirds!" Staring at them a little longer, she soon realized it was several hundred crows heading straight for them. "Quick! Everyone hide! They're spies!"

"You heard her, kettle-heads," Red bellowed. "Disappear before they get here. And if anyone makes a noise, I'll personally throw you into the hot molten lava of Mount Doom."

Quickly grabbing their things, they scrambled to hide under nearby boulders and shrubs. Soon the flapping of several hundred pairs of wings could be heard overhead as the fellowship of Point Place hid from their sight. A moment later they scrambled out from their hiding places.

"Kelso!" Donna shrieked as she frogged him hard on his arm. "I told you to keep your hands off my ass!"

"Well, I'm sorry Donna, but I had nowhere else to put them," he returned in his defense as he massaged his arm from her sting.

"Kelso! Try your pockets or something, you dillhole!" she lectured him.

"Alright, that's enough!" Hyde yelled to settle the group down. "We gotta figure out what we're gonna do next before those snitches return."

"The scruffy one's right," Red said as he peered over towards the Mountains. "Schlitz. Now we have to go a different way."

"Why don't we go through the mountains?" suggested Fez dressed as Gimli. "My people would welcome us gladly and treat us like kings."

"Fez, you mean we're actually going to go to your homeland?" asked Kelso.

"Well, it's not my homeland," he answered, "it's my cousin's."

"I'm not going to some dimly lit caverns the dwarf comes from," Red flatly refused. "It'd have to be a cold day in hell for that to happen."

Walking along the edge of the mountain, everyone was shivering or pulling their cloaks around them to warm themselves as the snow furiously fell from the sky. "Well," said Eric, "I think it's a cold day in hell."

"Shut it," warned Red.

"I don't know," said Kitty using her elfin eyes. "Something doesn't seem right. I think. . .I think the snow up ahead is falling down from above."

"Ah sweet!" exclaimed Kelso. "Now we can go snow skiing down the mountain! Hey, I bet we could get to the other side faster then."

"Kelso man, if that snow above us falls, we're going to be popsicles," Hyde explained.

"Crap," Red said with a sigh. "All right morons, turn around. We're going through the damn mountains."

"Yay," clapped Fez in excitement. "Now you will get to see the world of Fez."

"Oh God," moaned Hyde under his breath while Eric and Donna snickered in agreement with Hyde as they began to head back down the mountain.

That night as they made camp, Hyde sat near the campfire smoking his pipe and thinking. Eric, Donna, and Fez found their own seats around the fire and joined Hyde.

Circle:
Hyde sighed before speaking. "Man, I just don't get women."

Eric chuckled. "Yeah, tell me about it, Strider. They tell you one thing, but really mean something else. I'm so glad I left the Shire and am on this adventure of a lifetime."

Donna stared at the two in disbelief. "Oh, like you guys are any better? You guys aren't the best when it comes to communication. And what was wrong with the Shire?"

"That's not true, Donna," Fez intervened. "We communicate. You women just can't read our communication signals. And what's this Shire? It sounds sexy."

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. When I apologized to Jackie and told her it wouldn't happen again, I meant it. How much clearer can I get?"

"Well, you think you've got problems, how about me? I mean, I've got this all-powerful ring that has to be destroyed and freaky things are after me for it," Eric said as he switched topics with a shiver.

"Oh stop your whining, Frodo," Donna scolded. "Hyde's got to win Jackie's trust back. And that's a helluva lot harder than fighting off an army of orcs on your way to Mordor."

"Orcs, sporks," dismissed Fez. "Have you dealt with a moody princess before?" He looked around the circle; no one answered him. "I didn't think so. They are precious like the jewels found in my homeland, but if they're not handled carefully, they break and are ruined."

"Look guys, I appreciate your, uh, insight and all, but I gotta get some sleep," Hyde announced before he got up and left the campfire heading for his makeshift bed. Kneeling down to spread out his blankets, Hyde laid down underneath the blankets to try and catch some sleep. Whether it was his thoughts or his dream, he wasn't sure, but Jackie came to him.

"Steven," Jackie said dressed as Arwen. "I know you love me, but you must prove to me that love."

"How doll?" he questioned her as he grabbed her hands and held them in his.

"By showing me you can trust people," she answered. "Eric needs your help right now; help him."

"Help him? How?" he questioned her.

"He'll come to you for guidance and help. You know the geek needs your brains to get him through this. I mean, you're the brains of this rag tag gang," she told him quite frankly.

"I can't argue with that," he agreed. "So, if I help Forman out, you'll take me back?"

"That's cool," she answered with zen.

Puzzled for a moment, Hyde cursed himself for teaching her zen. "Whatever," he replied with his own zen.

Seeing her eyes light up with fire for his reply, he quickly captured her lips with his in a sweet kiss. Breaking apart after a moment, yet resting his forehead on hers, Hyde breathed, "I love you, Jackie."

With a sad half smile, Jackie returned, "I know." Then reaching behind her neck, she unclasped the silver pendant she was wearing and transferred it around Hyde's neck. "Here," she said as she fastened it, "keep it." With a final kiss to his cheek, Jackie walked away, leaving Hyde with his questionable thoughts.

"Steven?"

Hyde stirred in his position on the couch, not sure whether it was said in his dream or in reality. "Jackie," he returned, "don't go. I need you."

"Steven."

Turning over onto his back, Hyde's eyes slowly fluttered open letting in the light from the basement. A dark figure stood above him as he tried to make out who it was. Squinting his eyes to perhaps get a better idea, Hyde began to make out the outline of the shadowy figure. Opening his eyes a little wider, the figure gradually became clearer to him. Standing before him was Mrs. Forman. Startled to find someone there, Hyde jolted up, planting his feet on the floor while he wiped the sleep from his eyes in an attempt to wake up and see clearly. The book fell to the floor next to his feet with a thump. "Mrs. Forman," he croaked, "what are you doing here? I thought you were at work or visiting Red in the hospital."

"Well, I just got off work and decided to come home and rest for a bit," Kitty answered. "Then I noticed the laundry piling up and thought I could get a load in the wash before I left to see Red and start my second shift." She turned back around and started throwing clothes in the washer.

After a moment of silence, she asked, "Sweetie, were you having a bad dream or something?"

"What? No, I was. . .I just. . .I mean," Hyde stuttered in an attempt to save face.

"Well, it kinda sounded like it to me," Kitty frankly stated. "You were calling for Jackie. Is everything all right with you two kids? I noticed she hasn't been around much lately."

Great, Hyde thought to himself, now how do I get out of this one? "See, uh. . .Jackie and I are taking a little break from one another."

"What happened this time?" asked Kitty as she turned a dial on the washing machine. "She didn't yell 'Get off my boyfriend' mistakenly again, did she? Oh, I hope not because I know she really didn't mean it."

"No, Mrs. Forman," Hyde jumped in, not wanting to replay that incident again in his mind. "She didn't do anything wrong; I did."

"Oh Steven," Kitty sighed as the machine began and she turned around to face him once more. "I'm sure things will work out for the best. Jackie will forgive you."

Not this time, Hyde thought. "If you say so, Mrs. Forman," he answered in return.

"Well of course she will," Kitty replied quite certain of herself. "I've seen how she looks at you."

"Oh yeah, and how's that?" he questioned her, skeptical of her answer and knowledge.

"Like she loves you," Kitty answered as she raised her eyebrows sure of herself. "And," she added after a few seconds of silence, "I kinda think you love her too."

Now this took Steven by surprise. Hyde raised his eyebrows. "Oh really?"

"Uh huh," she nodded with a knowing grin.

"Mrs. Forman, if I really love her, then shoot me," he dared her just as he did Veterans' Day 1976.

Not missing a beat, Kitty pointed her pointer finger at him, cocked back her thumb, and whispered, "Pow."

Staring at her and not flinching, Hyde knew she was right and even guessed that she knew that he knew that she was too. Silently giggling to herself, Mrs. Forman turned and headed up the stairs leaving Steven with his own thoughts. Rubbing his forehead with the palms of his hands, Hyde tried to make sense of his dream and his conversation with his adoptive mother. But before he could really analyze it all, Eric came in the basement door.

"Hyde, you're so lucky you don't work at a stinking dog food factory," Eric grumbled as he crossed the room for the freezer. "I mean, bringing home the bacon is great and all, but it's the freaking dog food factory! It stinks!" He exclaimed as he opened the deep freeze and reached in for a popsicle.

"Yep, and that's why I work at the hotel," Hyde returned with a small smirk on his face as he kicked the book under the couch while Eric closed the freezer lid and unwrapped the popsicle.

Eric sat down in Hyde's chair and began eating it. After a couple of bites, Eric added, "Yeah, I need to find a new job, but I figure what's the point? Donna and I are moving to Madison soon and I can find one there."

"What about your parents, man?" asked Hyde curious as to what was going on with his adoptive family.

"I figure I'll help out the rest of summer, and by the time semester starts Red should be back to work and I'll be good to go," Eric reasoned.

"So you're heading off to college when classes begin?" Hyde asked.

"Yeah, a week early," Eric replied. "Gives us time to get unpacked and settled."

"Huh," Hyde grumbled. "Sounds like a plan, but uh, what's the plan if Red can't go back to work? Are you still going?"

Eric seemed puzzled at this thought as he continued eating his popsicle. "Yeah, I mean, I guess so."

Hyde nodded his head understanding the conflicted thoughts Eric was having. "Well, it sounds like you need to think about it, man."

Eric took his final bite of the popsicle as he mulled over Hyde's advice. "What do you mean? Red's gonna be fine. If they need the money, they're getting what I'm bringing home plus mom's working double shifts at the hospital. I mean, let's face it; Laurie's not gonna help out so that just leaves you and me." He paused for a moment as that thought sank in. "Yeah, you and me."

"Whoa, whoa, hold on there, professor," Hyde exclaimed knowing exactly what Eric was thinking. "You're not pawning off your responsibilities on me, man. They're your parents, man."

"Hyde, they're your parents too," Eric volleyed back. "They took you in when your mom left, and they treat you better than their own son. Don't you think you owe them a little something in return?"

Hyde stared hard at Eric for a moment, unable to string together a coherent sentence; he was beginning to get annoyed. "Forman, look; I'm lucky and grateful they took my sorry ass in and all, but I pull my own weight around here. I give them a good percentage of my paychecks and help out when needed. What I can't believe is how their ungrateful son can just abandon them in their time of need. That's freaking selfish, man!"

"Hyde—"

"No, listen Forman. You're lucky to have the parents you have, man. Laurie already takes advantage of them, so why should you?"

Eric opened his mouth to retaliate but quickly closed it. Hyde was right. "Hyde, you're right man. Laurie's the favorite and she takes advantage of them. This is my chance to become the favorite and not screw it up."

"Now you're thinking, man," Hyde returned with a curt nod.

"Yeah," Eric agreed as the wheels in his head began to turn. "I mean if I needed to, I could stay here for a semester or two and take classes at the junior college. I could work and do that while helping them out. Yes, this could work to my advantage. Laurie screwed herself by marrying Fez, so all I've got to do is prove that I really AM the favorite one."

"Well," said Hyde as he stood up from the couch, "glad I helped you reach your potential. Now, I'm off to the hotel."

Eric watched Hyde exit the basement. "Yes," he said to himself, "it's going to be quite fun being the favorite. Suck that, Laurie!"

Hyde had just opened his car door when Kitty opened the sliding door. She saw him heading for his car when she remembered Red's request. "Steven sweetie, could you stop and grab something for Red before or after work?"

"Sure Mrs. Forman," he replied as he stood next to his car, the door open.

"Good," she sighed in relief. "He wants a Fatso burger."

"His usual?"

"Most likely."

"Alright; it's done."

"Thanks, Steven."

"Sure thing, but uh shouldn't he be avoiding this kind of stuff."

"Yes, but he's right," Kitty answered. "Hospital food is crappy, so I don't feel too guilty about him having real food. Now, when he gets out that's a different story."

Hyde smirked and nodded his head. His foster parents could be so bad ass in their own way sometimes. "Yeah, I get it. Alright, I'll see you later, Mrs. Forman."

"Bye dear!" Kitty cried as she waved goodbye to Hyde as he got in the El Camino. "Don't forget about Red's sandwich!" she chuckled quietly as she entered the house.

Just as Hyde left the driveway, Donna walked across it heading for the basement stairs. Eric had called wanting her to come over. Supposedly he had something he wanted to talk to her about. Wondering what it could be about, Donna quickly descended the stairs and opened the basement door to find Eric already perched on the back of the old worn out couch, staring at a black screen on the TV. Closing the door, she headed for the couch, sitting down on it with one leg curled under her body. "Hey," she greeted him cheerily, "what's up?"

Broken out of his trance-like state he was in, he turned to look at her, gave her a small grin, and greeted her back. "Hey. Not much. Just been thinking about some things actually."

"Oh yeah? Like what?" she asked him.

"Well, I was talking to Hyde and he made me realize that I—"

"Wait why does that sound fishy?" she teased.

"Donna, I'm serious here. So Hyde made me realize that I need a Plan B in case things are still hard around here come fall semester," he told her.

The teasing grin that was gracing her face was quickly wiped away. Donna sat still nodding her head slowly as she comprehended his words. "So, what are you going to do?"

Eric let out a heavy sigh and bowed his head, folding his hands together as his arms rested on his bony knees. "Stay here," he replied quietly.

Donna looked down at her own lap understanding what he was saying. She had mixed feelings about it, but realizing it was out of her control she quickly decided she just needed to accept the facts and move on. They sat in a slightly awkward silence for a few minutes until Eric spoke again.

"Y'know, it just really sucks. This was suppose to be my time to live my life and go my own way, and yet they've sucked me back in."

"Eric, y'know it's not like they did it on purpose," Donna swiftly jumped in as she raised her head to look at him. "I mean, it's not like Red thought, 'Hmm, I think I'll have a heart attack just to ruin Eric's life.' It just happened, and you don't know for sure if you'll be here come fall or not. Just be prepared either way. I mean, that's all you can do for now."

He sighed again. "Yeah, I know Donna, I know. It's just I was looking so forward to moving into an apartment with my girl Friday and now that might not happen. I'll be stuck here for another year; that just royally sucks," he complained.

Donna chuckled lightly. "Well, it's not like it'll never happen. So what if it doesn't this fall? It could be next spring or next fall? It'll happen, just give it a chance."

"Yeah, you're right. I mean, if I'm stuck here for a semester or year, I'll manage like I always have. And hey, I'll have you still around to bring some desperate excitement to my dull life," he said on a lighter note.

Donna snickered at his comment. "Yeah, I really do, don't I?" she joked back.

"Uh, yeah. So, let's cut the chit chat and get straight to the exciting part," he said as he wiggled his eyebrows and slid down the back of the couch and lunged at Donna. Laughing in excitement, Donna let out a small scream of glee as they began to make out on the couch.

While Donna and Eric discussed the future, Steven had arrived at St. Catherine's Hospital with a Fatso burger in tow. Hidden in a bag covered by a newspaper, a TV guide, and several magazines, Hyde entered Red's room undetected. Smirking as he opened the door and crossed the threshold, Steven held up the bag for Red to see.

Red turned off the TV he was watching and greeted his second, and probably favorite, son. "Ah, Steven; did you bring me what I asked?"

"Yes sir, it's all in here," he returned as he handed him the bag. "I'm sure this should occupy you for a while."

Red grinned widely as he sniffed the bag. "Damn straight it will," he answered as he pulled the magazines and newspapers out of the bag and tossed them aside. Reaching in the bag, he grabbed the Styrofoam box and pulled it out. His eyes grew wide in awe like a child's would on Christmas morning.

Hyde nodded and smirked. "Yeah, I thought you'd like that. Enjoy, Red."

Red nodded his approval and appreciation before taking a huge bite of his 'illegal' burger. He moaned, "Mmmm. This definitely hits the spot. Thank you, Steven."

"You're welcome sir. Oh but, uh, remember this is your weekly quota."

Red dismissed Steven's remark with a wave of his hand. He continued savoring every bite. Hyde sat down and watched him eat.

Halfway through his burger, Red asked, "So Steven, what's going on with you and Jackie?"

Hyde swallowed not completely expecting Red Forman to question him about his relationship with Jackie. Then he wondered if Mrs. Forman had said something to him. So, he decided to do the only thing he could do in this situation—play stupid. "What are you talking about?"

Red put his sandwich down in his box and looked him straight in the eye. "Don't play dumb with me, Steven. I know what happened."

Crap, he thought, Jackie squealed to Mrs. Forman. "And what supposedly happened?" he questioned him with zen.

"You did something really stupid and she broke up with you," Red answered with a smirk.

Steven knitted his brows. "You can't prove that," he answered combating Red's zen.

"Oh can't I?" he fired back with a raised eyebrow. "Kitty says she hardly comes around the house. She's never come here with you to see me."

Learning that Red knew more than he originally thought he did, Steven replied with a shrug, "Pft! That doesn't mean anything. What do you know?"

"She dumped your dumb ass because you didn't do something like trust her. So then you went and did something even more stupid because you felt cheated. Does that about cover it?"

Steven stared at Red not blinking; he couldn't believe it. Red had his number. Pursing his lips together in deep thought, he cracked them open wide enough to let his moist pink tongue lick them. "So, what should I do?"

Red grinned and picked up his burger. "First, you apologize," he said before taking a bite.

"I've done that," Steven replied.

Red swallowed his bite. "Well son, you keep on doing it. But," he said as he held up his pointer finger, "you need to do it in different ways."

"Like how?" he asked in confusion as Red took another bite of his burger.

Now it was Red's turn to stare at Steven. "You've never been in a relationship before, have you?"

"Psh! So," Steven replied with his own brash of zen.

Red let out an evil chuckle. "You poor dumb SOB," he returned and took another bite. Shaking his head as he chewed, he swallowed it before answering. "Steven, women have to be coaxed when they're mad or upset. They're like cats. They look cute and if they like you, they'll let you pet them. But, rub them the wrong way or piss them off in any way, and they hiss at you with their claws coming out to gorge your eyes out—which is why we never had a cat."

Steven nodded his head in some understanding. "So what's your point, Red?"

Sighing before finishing up his burger, Red replied, "My point is, Steven, that you need to do something original, something that's you to apologize and make up for being an ass. Jackie's a classy girl, but she loves you, so you might get away with something besides the usual."

"Okay, so no flowers, jewelry, or candy you mean?" he questioned. "That's cool."

Red smirked. "Well, for this time or one, yes," he answered. "But when all else fails, that's what they'll want. That's my advice."

Steven nodded in understanding. "Thanks Red," he said as he stood up ready to leave.

Red finished his last bite of his burger, licking the sauce off his fingers, savoring the last ounce of his 'illegal' burger. "So Steven, I'm curious. What did you do that made Jackie break up with you?"

Letting out a heavy sigh, Steven answered him. "Well, I didn't trust her with Kelso and cheated on her with someone else."

Red exhaled as he took in Steven's words. "Well, you messed up pretty good, son, and I wouldn't trust that bozo of a Kelso either."

Steven smirked, glad to know someone else thought the way he did.

"Well, you'll have to grovel—a lot. If you really care about her, you need to be prepared to do so."

Steven sighed again. "Yeah, I know," he replied heading for the door. "Oh and uh, thanks for the advice."

"Any time, son, any time," Red returned with a nod.

Steven waved goodbye and left Red on his own once more. As soon as his door closed, Red picked up the TV remote control and turned on the TV, muttering to himself as he shook his head, "That poor bastard."

AN: I dated the Season 3 episode "Jackie Bags Hyde" Veterans' Day as 1976 since the gang (minus Jackie) graduated in May 1978, and Season 5 is basically they're senior year. Hyde's dream is based on the magnificent work of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. The chapter's title comes from Aerosmith's "Kings & Queens" from the 1977 album Draw the Line. "Misty Mountain Hop" is on Led Zeppelin's 1971 Led Zeppelin IV album, track # 5. 1,000 points to anyone who can name the other two Led Zeppelin songs that refer to/mention something about The Lord of the Rings, and an extra 500 for naming what the REAL fellowship liked to smoke, NOT our favorite band of hop-heads. ;) As always, thanks so much for reading and reviewing; it really makes my day!