Shadow's First Life

Chapter IV

A New Colonist

Soon after my ordeal in captivity, I was afraid. I felt threatened in the back of my mind ever since. I started having nightmares, and they never stopped. At times, they would leave me alone, but they always would return. Some of you may wonder why a fool such as me would have nightmares. Even now, I still have nightmares...

The joy of being home again healed my heart quickly. My heart was soft and healed rather easily. Yet every time trauma crushed it, it would not fix itself perfectly as it was before. Trauma left pain in my heart. The pain has revealed itself before you. My desperate attempt of causing devastation, which convinced many to despise me, is that revelation. When I got back to my home, I held onto my family, fearing I would never see them again. It now seems ironic that fear eventually became the truth for me over a decade later...

I asked Mom how long I was missing. "You have been missing for five days." Those five days seemed like a year that would never finish, like a burning pain that would never go out. I remember asking Mom what happened to Maria. We were on the couch and had the rare privilege of an afternoon nap. Mom's brown eyes lost focus and drifted off to her memory.

"Maria," she started, "got very sick. When we got back to the examining room, you were nowhere to be found. All of us panicked and looked for you. We searched the entire hospital for you and we searched the hallways. Maria stopped being happy altogether. Even after she got well, she was even worse than she was when you were there and she had the cold. She did not eat, she did not laugh, and she did badly in school." "She did?" I asked Mom as I watched her with anxious carmine eyes. "All of us felt lost," she finished.

Mom then gave me a bear hug. "Now you are back, I am too happy to tell you how great I am." I felt peaceful when she embraced me. I love my mom. I really miss her now... When I think of my family, my heart fills with sorrow.

When I was six, something unpleasant happened. Since I was a small child, I was likely to get ear infections. To state this simply, I got one of them. It started with a loss of my acute hearing in my left ear, which I lost over a period of a few days. I constantly put my finger into my ear in vain attempts of making the hearing return, and that was how Mom first noticed.

Mom decided to let more time pass before taking me to the doctor, because I had started school. I was in kindergarten the year before, and I enjoyed it. I got to paint, I found a few friends, and the teacher read stories to us in class. Our teacher was very nice. I did never like taking naps, though.

It irritates me to no end that the schools always allow energetic children to take naps that they never need, and that the education board never gave naps to me in high school when I was drowsy and needed them! Teenagers often are like that, requiring more sleep than most people and developing awkward sleeping patterns. Naptime is a lost cause, a wasted crusade that will never bring rewards. Now I guess that it never was for the children, but it was actually for the teachers to have time to meet in class. There are no naps in first grade, or any other grade for that matter.

After my ear started hurting, Mom gave me Tylenol, which soothed the pain somewhat, but my ear still was set to explode. One day Mom kept me at home from school and took me to the doctor. The doctor greeted Mom and then turned to me. "What is wrong, Shadow?" he asked. The discomfort I felt was showing on my face. I put my hand over my left ear as I had been the last few days. "I got an earache!" I cried out.

Doctor Stevens scribbled on a clipboard, pulled a lens from the wall, and examined inside of my ears through it. "Your left ear has an infection." The doctor scribbled on the clipboard some more and gave me medicine to take.

The next day was Saturday. Doctor Stevens made an appointment for me that day, and back to the hospital Mom, Maria, and I went. Dad was busy on an overtime assignment. My ear started ringing and I felt as if a knife was pushing into my temple. I moaned occasionally as I endured the pain, causing Mom and my sister to worry.

Dr. Stevens came into the room in which we waited with a nurse and a bag of equipment. He placed the bag on the counter at the wall and the nurse walked up to me. She told me to get on the bed and sit. I looked up at her briefly and climbed up. "You sit up for a minute, okay sweetie?" she said softly.

I forced a smile and pulled my ear with my hand, trying to silence the maddening pain. She then placed a towel on the pillow of the bed and instructed me to lie down. That was easy enough, I thought as my head rested against the pillow. Dr. Stevens put a neck brace on my neck to keep my head still. "Are you okay, Shadow? Does your ear hurt?" the nurse asked. I made a long moan in reply. I waited as the doctor operated on my ear.

I felt a poke right were my ear was hurting and heard a dull thud inside my head. The pain of my ear increased, provoking a whimper from my mouth. I heard Maria's voice call out. "Shadow, are you ok?" Her voice filled with a tone of fear. The doctor calmly assured I would be all right.

I felt something else poke my eardrum briefly and the sensation of the puncture left as a deep rumble echoed solidly in my ear. I sighed in relief as the earache pain diminished. Although it left a mild ache behind, the ache was peaceful relief in comparison to the discomfort I had felt previously. The nurse took the neck brace off me, and Dr. Stevens grasped my head and turned it to face him, as he was on my left side.

"Keep still, Shadow. The yucky stuff is dripping out of your ear, and keeping your ear pointed down like this helps it," Dr. Stevens explained through his muffled mask. My eyes widened as I felt warm moisture fill my ear canal and trickle down. Maria looked upset when I noticed her. Mom held Maria's hand as Maria groaned in disgust.

I stayed facing to the side for ten minutes. The doctor turned my head the other way, facing away from them, and then the nurse injected a solution of alcohol inside my ear. After turning me the other way again and draining my ear, she made me face upwards and dabbed the ear dry with a washcloth.

The nurse lifted me upright and said, "We are all done! You did a great job, Shadow." She gave me a lollipop that caused my smile to appear. "Thank you so much for the candy and making the pain go away," I said to them, causing both of my rescuers to smile. I looked at the towel my head was resting upon a minute before and noticed a disturbing yellow stain on the white towel. I then said "Ewww!" The others laughed at my response.

I was nine years old when I first met a particular person. The person I mention is one of the few from my childhood that live now as I recall this. Just before my third year in elementary school began, he became a part of the first half of my haunting life.

He is one of many that decided to hold prejudice against me for arising from an experiment. Many individuals hated me, regardless of what I did. This person is Jimmy Smith. My relationship with him is embittered and sour. I did not know why at first he acted so unfriendly to me, but Maria told me why he acted such a way. The bitterness was a combination of things.

First, as I mentioned before, he knew that I was born in an artificial womb and was genetically modified. Apparently, that was a reason for his hostility. Secondly, he liked Maria and was jealous that I was her brother.

I first met him when Maria introduced him to me. He was in her class at middle school. Both of them were in the eighth grade, and Maria was fourteen. He was studying with Maria one afternoon. I first met him after they were finished studying all afternoon. I was mad because I did not get to spend time with her all day. After Mom had composed another good and filling dinner, the door to her room opened as I watched from my room.

Maria came out followed by a white boy with brown hair. I was curious and watched them as they exchanged a few words. Maria turned and saw me, then pulled the boy's attention as she guided him down the hall toward me. I was nine years old, and I thought fifth graders were rather big. I thought he was enormous!

It was when he faced me that I noticed his eyes and his face. His eyes are his most distinctive feature. His right eye is blue and his left eye is brown. I knew of others that had eyes that were both blue and brown in each eye, but I never have seen someone else with eyes that are separate colors. He is the only person I know that has eyes with colors that are so unusual like my own.

He looked upon me with a shocked expression. My chest heaved a quick sigh as I grew anxious under his glaring eyes. I wondered why he seemed angry as my eyes settled on Maria. Maria glanced at the boy with concern in her eyes. "Jim, what is wrong with you?" She asked as she raised her eyebrows. Her question received no quick reply. I glanced back at Jimmy and waited for a response. Jim pointed back into her room, and walked in there, reluctantly followed by the girl with shining golden hair.

That is weird, I thought as I saw Jimmy close the door. Maybe he had forgotten something. Could he have? I approached the door and listened for any noise. I heard Jim's voice. "...What was that black creature? ...Never seen... like it." I got closer to the door to hear more clearly.

Maria's voice spoke up with nervousness. "That 'black creature' is my brother, Jim." Silence followed. "You are out of your mind, Maria. There is no way that could be your brother," Jim scoffed. "Of course he is my brother, Jimmy! You are giving me a feeling you have never seen a furry before."

Jim responded with disbelief. "How could he be your brother?" Maria sighed. "My parents adopted him, Jim," Maria said softly. "How could they adopt him? He looks scary." Maria gasped. "Jim!" I felt sick. The way Jim asked the question and the question itself made my heart sink. I felt angry and narrowed my eyes.

"His eyes are red! He is evil!" Jim protested. Maria let anger fill her voice. "He cannot help that! He is not evil! You do not even know him!" My anger was replaced by growing agony within my heart.

Jim's words stayed with me that night. They will haunt me forever. His words match the thoughts of many people in the world regarding me. That, as well as the endless deaths and writhing agony I have experienced, are my desolation and my ruin. The despised stunt I was involved with is an indirect result of the injustice that countless people carelessly condemn me with. Yet I will not blame others for the mistakes I have made. They are my own doing, I at least know that much.

I turned away as the door opened and they saw me dash for my room. "Shadow, wait! Please stay!" Maria called out as I closed my door and locked it. I threw my weight onto my bed and waited silently. Maria called me with worry. "Shadow?" I resolved to remain silent and I did not respond.

Although my bed softly supported me, it failed to support my pain. My breathing deepened as Maria called me once again. "Shadow, are you going to be all right?" Thoughts attacked my mind with ominous gloom.

Evil... I look scary. I am evil. I heard Jim speak up with doubt. "What happened to him?" Upon his question, I had my own thoughts. 'What happened to him?' I am condemned by him, and yet he asks what is wrong with me? Must this arrogant fool fail to realize I have feelings? Maria snapped back at him. I honestly was surprised when she snapped at him, because I was used to the benevolent and calm angel she always was. "You called him evil! That is what happened to him!"

My self control shattered and I started to gasp in quiet sobs. My eyes spilled tears upon my pillow and my sobs became louder. I could not see clearly through my teary eyes, but I did not care. As each sob escaped from my throat my whole form shuddered. Others had commented on my strange crimson eyes, yet only Jim had called me evil. At first I was afraid of him, and over time the fear transformed into anger. That anger eventually developed into hate.

I kept my crying down so they would not hear it. I do not want to scare Maria. She stood up for me. I wondered in the back of my mind if Jim and Maria would still be friends, as I honestly did not know how well they got along at first. I heard footsteps leave down the hallway. Only silence remained, not a whisper was hushed, not a breath was taken. The silence inspired me to keep crying, and I did so for what seemed a long time.

My relationship with Jimmy refused to improve over the years following our first meeting. His mind never changed, he always considered me worse than Frankenstein's monster. Even now, after the terrible mistake I have committed with Gerald Robotnik, I still feel unjustly hated by him. My reason is rather blunt. He hated me long before that ever happened...

Jim and I stayed cold towards each other, yet something developed between him and my sister. She personally opposed his attitude regarding me, but as they got to know each other more she let his harmful remarks and sneering habits go without complaint. If I ever was to dare blaming my precious sister of committing any mistakes, it would have to be this one.

Maria and Jim started dating in high school, and that only added fuel to the fire that burned persistently between us. Jim became very competitive over Maria's attention and her time.

I often felt as if I was drifting helplessly into the background of her life, and that caused me to miss her more and more. The more I missed her, the more I hated Jim...