…0…

Somewhere out there gathered in the dust
Sometimes I can't remember that was us

…0…

"So Lucas…why don't we start at the beginning."

He eyed the doctor, taking in everything from his overly calm demeanor to the graying hair at his temples all the way down to the specks of what looked like plaster on his brown wingtips.

"The beginning of what?" Lucas asked, a touch of bitterness in his words. "I don't know the beginning. Isn't that why you're here?" His eyes roved over to the window of his room, flicking over the faces of the people waiting in the hallway. His mom, even if she didn't feel like his mom at the moment, arms crossed over her chest as she took in whatever she and Haley were discussing with his cardiologist. They all looked so tense and worried and it was his fault. "Look," he said, "I'm sorry, but I really don't feel like doing this right now."

"Of course," he said. He closed the small leather book he'd been scribbling in and rose to go to he door. He paused, looking back at Lucas. "If I may, can I ask what exactly it is you think has everyone so concerned? Why do you think your family is so upset about your only remembering Haley?"

That was the question that had been plaguing Lucas from the moment he woke up and witnessed the reactions of his family. Based on the pictures that were still floating around in his head, the few glimpses of his life that he could recall, he didn't see what would make them react that way they had.

"I don't know…when I think about what I saw when I was unconscious, the memories looked like a filmstrip." He said, his voice slow and careful as if he were trying to make sense out of them for himself. "I know there are some pieces missing, but…as hard as I try, I can't seem to put them back in."

"These pieces," the doctor began, "do you think things would appear differently to you if you could see them?"

Pondering that thought for a moment, he looked out the glass once more, wondering what he'd think of the two women standing out in that hallway if what the doctor said were happening; if he remembered his mother and not Haley. And truthfully, he wondered if their reactions would be any more cheerful if that were the case.

…0…

"Hey," Haley said warmly. "Sorry we were interrupted."

Fiddling with the edge of his blanket, Lucas let his eyes move from the bed to the wall clock, anywhere but at Haley. Something told him that his instincts were screwing with his head and that looking at her would only cause more problems.

"Luke?" she prodded. "You okay?"

"I missed you," he whispered, his heart filled to the brim with sincerity, and he knows that when she leans into him and begins to cry, she means it just as much without saying it.

"Luke," Haley repeated, alarm filling her. His eyes had gone hazy and unfocused, making her mind immediately jump to the conclusion that something was wrong. "What is it? Is it your heart?" She's beside him in a second, her hand on his forehead, searching for some small sign of what could possibly be wrong with him. "Lucas?"

There's panic in her voice. Panic he caused and that's what it takes to pull Lucas out of the hospital room in his head and back into the present one. When his eyes snap back to hers, he can see that they're bright with worry and her cheeks flushed. "Sorry. I was just…thinking." When he sees the tension leave her shoulders, sees her posture loosen in relief, he gives her a small smile. "I'm fine, Hales."

A warmth filled Haley at hearing him call her that. True, she knew that he'd said he only remembered her from everything in his life, but the familiarity in the nickname gives her hope that maybe things were getting back to normal.

"You called me Hales," she says and recognizes the sappy optimism in her own voice.

Lucas chuckled, seemingly the old Lucas she'd always known. "So…" Haley begins. "Earlier, you said you wanted to talk about us."

His expression sobered. "Oh." The air in the room, which had been familiar and playful, suddenly turned serious. Heavy. And just a touch awkward.

It didn't take a genius to see that whatever had transpired between Lucas and the psychiatrist that had interrupted their conversation was making Lucas uncomfortable. Since Lucas had first woken up and admitted that the extent of his recollection was centered on her, Haley had gone out of her way to avoid being alone in the room with him. She felt like the worst friend ever for doing it, but there was a hint of something simmering in Lucas's eyes that made her believe it was for the best.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," she offered.

He shook his head, a determined glint that she knew all too well came into his eyes. "No. I mean, yes." Sighing in frustration, he rubbed a hand over his eyes. "I meant that we do need to talk about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Haley squeezed his hand on top of the thin blanket, trying her best to force some semblance of a smile to reassure him. Lucas needed her.

Inhaling deeply, Lucas focused his eyes on the bed. "Haley…I get the feeling that my remembering you isn't what you or my mom were expecting to happen."

"No," she admitted, "it wasn't."

Confused blue eyes locked onto hers and she could sense the dissatisfaction coming off him in waves. "I can feel that there are things I'm not remembering yet, that I can't make myself remember, but what I do know…it really shouldn't be."

Haley felt her eyebrows knit together as the beginnings of a migraine began to form behind her eyes. She could tell that this was going to be one of those conversations where she and Lucas were just going to go around in circles before they finally managed to land on the point. "Just what exactly is it that you know, Luke?"

"What I know," he told her, "is that only family is allowed in here. I know that you were holding my hand when I woke up." His jaw worked in irritation as if he were explaining something that was so obvious he didn't understand the need in the clearing up. "And I know what the pictures in my head are telling me, Haley." He took hold of her hand, lifting it up off the bed and making her fingers extend, and placed his thumb across her wedding band. "They're telling me that you're my wife."

…0…

Lyrics from 'That Was Us' by Alexz Johnson.