Day 17: What are true emotions?
'I need true emotions.'
When thought about, one finds themselves asking, 'What are true emotions?' Emotions are thought of as the feelings we get when a certain event occurs. As an example, if something frightened one, they would feel the emotion of fear. But can we really trust our emotions? Where do emotions come from? I would suspect the heart of such an act. Are emotions involuntary, an outburst of feelings when our hearts decide the time is appropriate? Or are emotions forced feelings that our hearts release, in order to trick us into believing that we have real emotions? I conducted an experiment: I allowed myself to become frightened, and once I was truly scared, I thought for a moment to see how I really felt once scared.
I felt nothing. Just emptiness.
Could it have been a trick of the heart again, shutting off emotions just as I was testing them, in order to conceal its secrets? Or could I have possibly felt no emotion? I've conducted the experiment various times, with various emotions, and have ended with the same results—no feeling. Perhaps there is no such thing as emotion that exists in us. But, if that's the case, where can we go, what can we do, to achieve true emotions? What would they feel like? Would they be noticeable? Or would we have to test for them? Do true emotions exist inside us? And if they do, why won't our hearts allow us to experience them?
I find that the more I strive for the answers, the more questions I receive. But maybe that's what is meant to be.
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Another excerpt from my report-thing, but changed into Ansem's words, slightly. I still feel pretty weird about putting it up, but meh…