Shadow's First Life

Chapter XI

Maria's Plea

After I was ruined, I just watched them leave me there. Are they leaving me here to die? I felt like a useless thing. I was used as a sex toy. What does that say about me? Many of you know not what rape feels like, yet alone child rape. I sobbed. I screamed. I cried. I felt worthless. My throat burned. My body ached more with each shudder, each gasp for breath. I did not care about my body's complaints. I was raped, ravished, invaded, and corrupted...

It was my grandfather that found me. I was in a state of shock when he approached me. His face was red. I felt his hand rub my head. He cried out at someone outside. My father and mother rushed up to me and looked into my eyes. Grandpa mouthed something to my parents as he looked at my thighs. They both screamed. Mom grasped my face and rubbed my head, and I felt hot tears drip from her eyes onto my cheeks that were stained with my own tears. "Shadow! Shadow, say something!" Mom yelled desperately.

"I want to... g-go h-h-home," I whispered. Dad looked into my eyes. "Were you touched?" I closed my eyes, forcing tears out of them, and nodded. "Who?" Dad removed the cuffs off my wrists and picked my up, cradling me in his arms. "Three mechanics touched me. Rick, Jack, and..." "Who? Who, Shadow?" Dad repeated earnestly.

My lips quivered. "...Ah-Ad-Adam!" I cried out with a choked sob. His arms pressed me firmly against him, soothing my anxiety. "Hush, Shadow. I will take good care of you. You know that," Dad remarked as his voice broke. I stared into his eyes in understanding.

My body was sore, but the aches of my bruises and ripped skin hurt little compared to my heart. I felt as if someone had taken a dagger and thrust it through my sternum and pierced my heart. Adam did more than take my body's innocence; he used me when I trusted him. I do not know how exactly I should feel about him even these eight years later...

I was taken to the hospital. Pictures of my battered body and humiliated form were taken and put in a file to be locked away in hospital records. There a rape test kit was used to examine me. Samples were taken and I never saw them again.

I was at home in moments after the trip to the hospital. I was kidnapped for six hours. I decided to soothe myself with a hot shower. I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, noticing how I was assaulted. My lip was cut. Bruises barely showed through my black fur on my forehead, chest, arms, and legs. The carpet was soft and felt gentle on my feet.

I turned around and squatted to look at my bottom. My buttocks still ached, and red stained them with blood. My anus was ripped in places, and it hurt a great deal to go to the bathroom. I sighed in despair and walked to the separate, small room where the toilet and bathtub were.

The feeling of hot water rolling through my fur was refreshing, and it soothed the bruises I had. I scrubbed my body with soap, trying to get the filthy semen out of my pelt. The soap burned my cuts. As I rinsed my bottom, I was crying. I could not see my tears in the shower, but my eyes burned and my heart ached as it sank into my stomach. I was raped Sunday morning. I decided to go to church anyway, in a vain attempt to ease my depression.

I was languid in church, and several people noticed. My friend at church wanted to help me. "I do not want to talk now," was my answer. How could he possibly know how ashamed I am!? After Sunday-school and the sermon, the pastor called me to his office. I did not know why he did until I arrived later.

"Shadow, sit down, please," he said as I entered. I stared at him with empty eyes. "Shadow, I do not know why you are upset, but I have one thing I need to say." I licked my dry lips before speaking. "What is that?" "What ever has happened to you, it is not your fault." His reply caused my eyes to water. The pastor grabbed me by the shoulders gently.

"God does not hate you because of what has happened. Do not worry, He never gives us more than we can handle." His comment made me angry. The pastor noticed his final sentence was the wrong one to have said. More than we can handle? More than we can handle!? How can you possibly know!? You do not even know what happened to me!

My eyes narrowed and my youthful voice took on an unnaturally cold and embittered tone. I growled back in hate. "Your god must expect a great deal from thirteen year old boys!" I got up and left, with him startled by my angry remark.

That night my sister hugged me to her bosom and cradled me there. My eyes started to tear up, and she stroked my head. "Shadow, I am sorry. I have not been good to you these past few weeks." Her solemn voice was quiet. "I love you. You are my brother, and I will always be here for you."

My throat started burning as I replied. "I love you too, Maria." Maria kissed my forehead. "This is not your fault Shadow, it really isn't." Her voice was breaking. I embraced her back as tears fell out of my eyes. "I know." Finally my heart felt at peace...

Maria decided that she would spend more time with me. Her consolation helped me through the times of sorrow. She decided to spend less time with Jimmy, and have more time with me. The one time I saw Jimmy, it was once again hostile. I honestly doubted that we would ever get along even in the slightest way. He hated me more since Maria drifted away.

Maria approached me once to tell me about what she would do. "Shadow?" I was reading at the time to make the day pass faster, so I let it sit on my desk and glanced at her. "Yes, Maria," I answered. "I asked Jim to be nice to you, but..." I nodded. "Did you tell him about the time my arm was broken?" I inquired. "He said that he did not care if you were beaten, since you are just an experiment..." Maria trailed off and sighed.

I furrowed my brow in anger, and she noticed. "I am going to break up with him, Shadow." I was surprised by her statement. "You don't need to do that, Maria. Are you sure?" I watched her as I asked this. My sister nodded. "He does not care about what matters to me, Shadow. He never has," she explained. "But what matters to you, Maria?" She laughed. My eyes widened as she answered me and poked my nose. "You do!" I smiled with content, showing my teeth.

"Shadow," Maria started. "You have a beautiful smile. Your teeth are so perfect, so straight and white! Why? You never got braces." "I guess I got it from my father." I referred to my genetic father. The picture of him holding my sister in her youth has his smile, which is just like my own. "I am his twin image, after all."

Yep. Same fur, same body, same quills, same teeth, same face, even the same name! Only my eyes are not the same as his. His eyes are a rich chocolate brown color; mine are crimson. I want to see him again, even if he is dead, along with his parents, his wife, and their two priceless children...