I've resorted to taking refuge in my room again. I wish I didn't have to, it's all stuffy in here, but it's the only place I can go. I'm restricted from going to Carrie's house or any other place besides my room. I could probably sneak down to the kitchens, but I'm so angry that I'd probably throw up anything I eat.
Twenty minutes ago I had the biggest argument of my life. And now that it's over, I just want to do nothing more than go back and do it again. I want to bang his head into the ceiling and let him hang there.
I turn to the wall and decide to try an exercise that always calmed me down when I was little.
Talking to the wall.
I know its insane but I can always get my feelings out. I just pretend that the wall is the person I'm mad at. And then I yell at them.
I closed my eyes and imagine Indiana Jones sitting in front of me. His cocky grin on and his hair as messy and as un-tame able as ever. I imagine him laughing at some stupid joke Abner would tell him. And then I speak.
"Why did you call me a bitch?"
He looks at me, confused.
"It hurts. I know I don't act like it does, but I hate it when people don't like me. I've always found myself to be a love-able person."
He now gives my that look that clearly says 'doubtful'.
"Okay, maybe I'm not as love-able as some other girls, but I can be sweet. Honest. Here, let me compliment you. I like your hair and your laugh."
The cocky grin is back and he raises his eyebrows.
"It's not like I have a crush on you or something. I just find you kind of cute, in your own geeky way."
I clamp my hand over my mouth as soon as I hear what I say.
"But...but I hate you! You make me so pissed that I sometimes can't bear to be near you!" I shout.
A roll of the eyes now. Oh, he is good.
"I just miss Abner...dad." I find myself whispering. "I miss mom. And then you come along and I'm just...lost. And angry and territorial."
He looks sympathetic now. A small smile resides in the corners of his lips.
Then suddenly, I realize that something is wrong with me. I'm confessing my innermost secrets to a wall who I'm imagining as my worst enemy who I just slugged. In my shock, I fall off the bed on my ass. I lie on the floor and stare at the window. I'm going insane, being locked up in my room. I know it.
I stand up and stare at the door. Part of me wants to go and apologize to Jones, while the other is screaming to sit and sulk.
I decide to take a bath before I go to bed. Obviously, dinner should be up soon and I won't be going anywhere until our chores are assigned.
As I slip into the tub and let the warm water cover my body, I vaguely wonder what the real Indiana Jones would have said if I had the same conversation with him that I had with my wall. Would he care? Would he see me differently?
I shake my head, who cares anyway?
OOOHHHH...SEE? the tensions are settling already and you are starting to dip into Marion's real emotions. This was slightly angsty but still fun to write. Please review!!