A/N: This…is not where I intended this to go at all. This was supposed to be light-hearted and fun, as you can probably tell from the beginning but…after explaining some things to my friend, achillona, on LJ I decided something like this was needed. Oh, and back in 15...Iruka isn't pregnant again! He was remembering the first time.

Christmas with the Hatakes
By: Reggie

December17th: Holiday Specials

If there was one thing Kakashi didn't like—and there wasn't one, there was several—it was being made to lie still when injured. Worse than that was to lie still all alone while Iruka was out Christmas shopping. There was no one to whine to with his beloved Chuunin gone, except the infant sitting on his chest and Sayuri was rarely a sympathetic listener. Mostly she just tried to grab Kakashi's lip as he pouted and pull on it.

They had been left on the couch, Kakashi's leg now in an awkward splint and propped up on a pillow, with the remote and a glass of eggnog sitting within reach on the coffee table. The eggnog was not alcoholic, most unfortunately, the Jounin had already checked.

There was nothing interesting on the ceiling, or the walls. Kakashi had long ago memorized all the pictures Iruka placed there, of empty, meaningless, scenery of places the chuunin had never been.

Sayuri reached out a small fist and tugged a handful of Kakashi's hair, making him wince in pain. Kakashi sincerely hoped he hadn't been that strong as a baby, because he wouldn't wish this hair pulling stuff on anyone. "You're bored too, huh?"

The infant began to babble furious, noisily voicing her complaints about extended and enforced snuggle time.

Kakashi grinned and nodded, "that does sound horrible. I'm sorry you're being forced to endure it."

As if sensing the attitude of amusement at her expense, Sayuri stopped talking and glared at the person she was sitting on.

The Copy-nin smiled wryly, sincerely hoping that she would grow out of her obvious preference for Iruka someday. She would babble for the chuunin for hours with very limited encouragement on his part. In retaliation for the blatant favoritism, the Jounin reached over and grabbed the remote. If she didn't wish to speak with him, then he was not obliged to sit there and wait. He could find alternative sources of entertainment.

Sayuri jumped at the unexpected noise of the TV turning on, and truthfully Kakashi did a little also as it was much louder than he had anticipated. He reached and turned it down before flicking through the channels. "Stop me if you see something you like."

The infant made a noise that was probably disgust, or something similar, and Kakashi couldn't help chuckling. Was it just him, or did his daughter have personality enough for seven babies?

He settled on a show, some special that had been translated, though he doubted it was well. Sayuri seemed happy enough, sitting back and watching the odd things moving on the little screen. Kakashi wasn't sure how well she could see, but it must have been well enough.

It didn't take him very long to figure out the story. A miserly old gentleman who didn't think much of Christmas was going to be taught a lesson by three spirits. They sat quietly through the first, and Kakashi felt kind of sorry for the idiot when he lost his girlfriend because of it, though that childish ghost was extremely creepy.

They sat and watched as the second ghost appeared, this one seeming friendlier than the first. He was, apparently, the ghost of Christmas Present. The old man was taken to see his nephew, and sat through hearing himself be ridiculed by the assembly. Kakashi couldn't help thinking that he probably deserved it.

Then the old man was taken to the home of his mistreated employee, the one Kakashi had seen the old man try and not give a day off. It seemed the clerk had a nice little family, and sweet wife. More than that, he had a sick little boy.

When the next ghost showed the little family, devastated, talking about the church yard, Kakashi turned off the TV.

He noticed his hand was shaking a little as he dropped the remote back in its place, and he took a deep, reassuring breath.

He'd been trying not to think about Sakumo. Yes, the little grave on the Hatake family plot was visited every day, on his way home from the memorial stone. But he'd wanted this holiday to be about Sayuri. Kakashi would not let her be defined by the absence of her twin, even though he was certain it was something that could not be entirely separated from her. It would be part of her, he was sure, but the Jounin refused to let it be who she was. But…seeing the face of that father as he had put away the crutch, and the pain and sadness in it…

He'd been holding the infant Sakumo when he died.

Kakashi could remember the tiny hand that had weakly grasped his as the small, thin chest had slowly stilled. He hadn't panicked, or called for the medi-nins. Tsunade had warned them that this was probably coming, his tiny body too small and weak to take more healing or to fight on its own. Kakashi had still cried, and wondered if there was not something that could have been done. If he had been there earlier, would things have turned out different? Had there been some way, some little thing, they hadn't thought of that could have saved the life of their son?

Something in Kakashi ached, even now, for everything that should have been. There should be two babies sitting with him, starting to learn to crawl, starting to grow. Two babies to make Iruka smile. Two babies for them to love.

But there was only Sayuri and a small stone, next to his namesake. The Jounin hadn't let himself think about it for a while, but now that it had started it couldn't be helped. Sayuri was looking at him, her chubby little face pulled down in a frown. She reached out a small hand, resting it against his cheek with a soft whimper. Kakashi was only a little surprised to find his skin felt wet against her hand.

The Jounin held the little hand in his, and kissed it gently. "I'm alright, princess. I know that it hurts sometimes, but its okay."

And it would be, Kakashi had to keep counting on that.