Rogtown was a tough town full of tough people who could deal with pirates like most other towns deal with showers in Spring.

So when I arrived there to find everyone abuzz over a single pirate, I knew something was amiss. As Reza flew off to find out what was happening, I thanked the sea snake for giving me a ride and told him of a particularly juicy type of fish found about two day's swimming northeast of the island. As he bellowed hungrily and took off, I secreted Yamakaze beneath my coat and then slowly began making my way into the city, listening to the wild stories floating about as storm clouds gathered overhead.

"Kid in a straw hat standing on top of the gallows!"

"Guy with a straw 'at on 'is 'ead making a load of trouble for the Navy..."

"Straw hat fellow is making quite a to-do, I must say."

"With a straw hat, you say? And he took off just ahead of the Navy?"

"STOP THAT GIRL!"

I turned my gaze toward the sound of shouting, watching in amusement as an eight- or ten-year-old girl with candy cane-colored hair burst through the crowd, a wide grin on her face as she shot away from the Marines pursuing her and a set of shackles broken and dragging along behind her.

"I'M FREEEEEEE!"

"STOP HER! THERE'S A FIFTEEN MILLION BELI BOUNTY ON HER HEAD!"

That instantly attracted the attention of everyone on the dock; as one, they moved toward her, stampeding toward what appeared to be easy money. I was apparently the only one who spotted the smirk that crossed her face; then she whipped around and pointed one finger at the nearest Marine.

"Sweet-sweet cannon!"

A fist-sized, orange-colored ball erupted from the air in front of her and slammed into the Marine, sending him flying back through his fellows and the people around him; smirking, I began walking toward the suddenly-frozen crowd as murmurs of 'devil-fruit powers' began circulating. The girl leaped onto the top of a pier post and raised her fist defiantly at the crowd.

"I AM ALIZA ALICIA ALAMONIUM AND I'M A PIRATE AND AM GONNA MAKE A CREW CALLED THE PIRATES OF DOOM AND I'LL BE THE CAPTAIN!"

"Then you must die."

The voice was as cold as ice, then the girl turned to face the slender man who had spoken and planted her hands on her hips defiantly. "Yeah? Why?"

He smiled thinly, the expression making me wish he hadn't done that as he withdrew a pair of swords from under his coat. "Because pirates are evil."

I pushed through the crowd and came up on the girl's right side, a smirk on my face as I tossed one flap of my coat back and rested a hand on the grip of my pistol. Why I said what I said next has always been a mystery to me, but I never regretted it.

"So, Captain Al, who's the punk tryin' ta pick a fight? Doesn't he know that we're pirates?"

She looked back at me, her expression surprised. "Did you just call me..."

I chuckled. "That's right, kid; I've decided I like your style and wanna join your crew."

She beamed as she nodded vigorously. "Yeah! You're my first mate!"

"Best news I've heard all day." My expression flattened out as I turned my gaze on the now-uneasy man with the swords. "So, little man. I do not believe that we have been properly introduced. I am Argyle Finch, ace gunfighter and first mate of the Pirates of Doom." Smiling thinly, I looked him in the eye. "Your turn."

His smile uneasy, he took a step back. "I am Lykos the Viper. I-I'm a bounty hunter and-"

My new captain began laughing and I couldn't help but smirk with her even as I asked, "What's the matter, Captain Al?"

She pointed a finger at the man, still shaking from laughter. "He-haha- thinks he-hahaha!- can get the bounty-ha- on me!"

I smiled and shook my head. "Guess he don't know the Pirates of Doom are impossible to defeat."

"Nope, he didn't!" With that, she pointed one finger at the man, a big grin on her face. "Sweet-sweet needles!"

Four candy canes appeared in the air in front of her, their tips sharpened to razor-like quality, then they shot forward, catching Lykos' shoulder cloth and beneath his arms and carrying him back into the side of a nearby building, where he hung from them like a bug in a collection, squirming wildly in his attempt to get free.

"LET! ME! GO!"

Smiling, I turned to regard the rest of the crowd, my eyes reflecting the amusement at the man that was otherwise hidden inside as I folded my arms across my chest. "So, anybody else think they got the stuff? And before you answer, let me just inform you that I'm a whole lot stronger than my captain."

I felt a fist on the back of my head and a weight hit my shoulders; looking up, I saw my new captain glowering down at me, her left hand still curled into a fist.

"Are not! I'm the captain, so I'm the stronger one!"

Sighing, I shook my head. "No, it just means you're in charge. You can still be in charge and not be the strongest, you know."

"NUH-UH! I'M THE CAPTAIN, SO I'M STRONGER!" She stomped her foot on my shoulder. "Or you can forget about being my first mate! I'll find somebody better!"

I almost-almost- chuckled at that, but I instead nodded my head gravely. "I'm sorry, Captain Al. Of course you're the stronger one."

"Of course I am!" Her voice was proud that I had given in; she must have decided to placate my undoubtedly hurt feelings, because she then said, "But you're the second-strongest!"

Grinning, I turned my gaze to the gathered mob and gave them a thumbs-up. "And my buddy Reza is the third-strongest, so don't even think about making trouble or we'll tear ya all up!"

"THAT'S RIGHT!"

I heard the fluttering of wings and looked to the side to see Reza coming to rest on top of a pier post, an almost-smirk on his beak as he cocked his head to the side. "Au! Are you making-au!-trouble again, Boss? Au!"

The girl on my shoulders jumped, causing her to fall off from her perch and shoot headfirst toward the dock below. Before she hit, however, I unfolded my arms and extended them in front of me, catching her by her ankles and spinning her around so that I could set her down on her feet. She hardly paid any attention to that, however, her entire focus on the raven. Slowly walking toward him, almost as if she was afraid he might get startled and fly away, she carefully extended a hand toward him and attempted to touch his feathers. Before she could, though, Reza vanished, leaving only a pair of downy feathers behind him as he reappeared on my shoulder, preening himself amusedly as he watched her startled reaction with a dark eye.

"AH!" I felt startled as her lower lip began trembling, then she wailed, "I KILLED IT! THE PARROT'S DEAD!"

I chuckled and knelt down, bending forward to keep Yamakaze from digging up the wood of the dock. "Captain Al? This is Reza, my partner. Can he be the second first mate?"

She blinked, then pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I dunno; I never heard of having TWO first mates."

Nodding gravely, Reza fluttered his feathers. "Au! It isn't common, to be sure, au! But such a mighty-au!- pirate crew needs two first mates, no? Arau!"

I raised an eyebrow; for Reza to be so willing to argue for his joining the crew, he must have seen some trouble or treasure in the near future. Not that I would complain, of course.

"Sure!" Aliza beamed up at us. "The parrot can join as th' other first mate! WHEE!" She began running in circles with her arms out to the sides from excitement. "I HAVE TWO FIRST MATES! I'M SO AWESOME!"

I heard a whisper of movement from the crowd and turned my gaze to the side in time to see a huge, well-muscled man making his way toward us, a huge ax in his hand as he eyed us contemptuously. Smirking, I turned my head to face him even as I spoke up.

"Captain, we have company again."

She stopped running around and looked curiously at the oncoming man. "Woooowww, he's a big one, first mates!" Planting her fists on her hips, she stared defiantly at the man. "Hey, you! Fatso! Whaddaya want?"

The man chuckled at the term 'fatso' even as he unslung his ax, the crowd clearing away from between him and us. "I, too, am a bounty hunter little girl; the name is Reber the Destroyer." Smiling toothily, he turned his gaze to me and his expression hardened. "I am here for the Gargoyle of East Blue." Raising his ax, he pointed it directly at me. "Him."

Aliza turned to look at me, a puzzled expression on her face, then she looked back at Reber. "No, he's my first mate, Argull."

He chuckled. "Argyle Finch, Gargoyle of East Blue, the Blind Gunfighter, he's all of them."

I smiled thinly. "In case you didn't know, Argyle Finch only has a two hundred thousand beli bounty; this Gargoyle fellow you're looking for has a two million beli bounty." Cocking my head, I looked at him from behind my blindfold. "What makes you think I am both?"

"It's the ax on your back." I raised an eyebrow as he continued, "I am a master ax wielder; I can tell when an ax of great power is nearby." His smile widened. "Your ax holds incredible amounts of power."

Aliza seemed about to speak and his gaze turned to her, but I held a hand in front of her as I stepped forward. "Just between you and me, Destroyer; one-on-one. I'll fight alone and your lackeys," I smiled at the group of men that had been attempting to inconspicuously gather behind Reber, "will likewise let you fight alone."

Reber chuckled and hefted his ax. "I agree-hurk!"

I settled to the ground beyond him, Yamakaze across my chest in the position it had ended up in after I slashed through the big man, my gaze resting on the stunned group of men who were watching their leader slowly crumble to the ground; a gale-force wind blasted past me and battered them back into kneeling or crouching positions before it dissipated. Seeing that they weren't about to offer any resistance, I straightened up and rested Yamakaze on my shoulder, hearing my coat finish fluttering to the ground behind me as I stood with all my weaponry revealed and my hat hanging from my throat, my blindfolded gaze searching the crowd. Above, storm clouds began spinning around in a circle.

"Anybody else wish to challenge the Pirates of Doom? If you wish to attack our captain, you must first defeat her crew."

As the huge man collided with the dock behind me, sending a shudder through the wood beneath our feet, the entire crowd shrank back from me and I smiled thinly. "Didn't think so."

"Au! I got us a ship, au!" Reza hovered where I had left him, a smirk on his face. "It's a nice little craft-au!- but I'm pretty sure somebody owns it already, arau!"

Aliza clapped her hands happily. "Yay! Our very own pirate ship! I'm gonna call it the Ship of Doom!"

"How about just Doom?" I suggested. She thought it over for a moment, then grinned happily.

"Yeah! Cuz we're already the Pirates of Doom! So we'll name our ship Doom!"

Reza and I traded amused glances, then I heard a grunt from the body of Reber. Raising an eyebrow, I watched as he slowly straightened up and turned to face me, a scowl on his face.

"How dare you strike before your opponent is ready! Where's your honor?!"

I broke out laughing, then shook my head. "I'm a pirate, genius. What'd you expect, flowers and fairies?" Hefting Yamakaze off my shoulder, I began spinning it over my head with one hand as I advanced on the larger man. "This is a battle for my life, Reber the Destroyer. Why shouldn't I take it seriously and fight as best I can?"

He grunted and swung his own ax up at my skull, but I simply brought my left hand out and caught it as my other hand brought Yamakaze down on him; the dock beneath shattered and sent his bisected corpse into the waters below even as earth rose from beneath and wrapped around Yamakaze, absorbing the blood from the head and leaving it clean as a whistle as the earthen mound crumbled away. Smiling thinly, I slung Yamakaze and returned to Aliza's side, feeling a little unhappy with myself at getting into a full-out battle with a powerful enemy already.

"Ready when you are, Captain."

She stared at where the dock was smashed to pieces, then slowly raised her gaze to me, an almost reverent look on her face.

"Woooooww, you're strong, First Mate Argyle!"

Smiling thinly, I nodded and looked at Reza. "It's about time to go; my guess it the Marines will be here soon and I'd rather not fight them all."

She nodded and snapped out of her stupor, pointing at Reza. "First Mate Parrot! Take us to Doom!"

The raven bristled a little at the parrot remark. "I can give you-au!- a taste of doom right now-au!- if you keep calling me-au!- a parrot, arau!"

She frowned. "But aren't you a parrot? I mean, only parrots can talk!"

"Au! No, I am a raven, au!"

"What's a raven?"

"Au! We are another form, albeit older-au!- and wiser form, of crows, arau!"

"Oh, why didn't you just say crow?"

"Au! I am a raven, au! There is a-arau!- difference, au!"

"But you just said that you're another form of crow..."

"ANOTHER FORM! ARAU! NOT ACTUALLY A-ARAU!- CROW!"

"You still sound like a parrot, though."

While the two of them began arguing over the nature of crows, ravens and parrots, I reached up and lowered one corner of my blindfold, scanning the ships at dock with my eyes in search of the craft that Reza had chosen for us. My vision took in everything with a glance, then I spotted a pair of black feathers on the crow's nest of one small, yet agile-looking, craft with a single mast. Smiling, I returned my blindfold to its place and, ensuring that the other two would follow, began moving toward it along the docks, the crowd clearing away from in front of me as I moved, my coat slung over my shoulder and my weaponry rustling against my clothing.

I turned onto the dock that the craft was moored at and found my appreciation for Reza's choice growing with every step I took toward the ship. The Doom boasted a pair of cannon in her midsection, one pointing each way, while a small mortar sat in the stern, aiming to the rear. Another mortar was installed in the foredeck, aiming forward to provide security in the front; amidships, the mast dominated everything else, a tall pole bearing twin sails that looked more liable to snap the craft into pieces then propel it. I could tell from looking at it that it was a stronger construct than first glance suggested, however; the craft practically resonated with speed and agility, if not firepower.

I smirked as my handguns slapped against my side; I could provide whatever extra firepower we might need.

"AAAAAH!" I almost jumped straight up as Aliza screamed and raced toward the craft, her hands outstretched in front of her as she ran up and hugged the ship's hull, smiling happily. "I LOVE IT! YOU'RE THE BEST, FIRST MATE PAR-" She caught herself and grinned at us. "I mean, First Mate Raven!"

"The name's Reza, Cap. Au!" He fluttered onto my shoulder and joined me in watching our new captain run around happily, the girl climbing all over the craft in the blink of an eye as we smiled paternally. "She's a-au!- real piece of work, Boss. Au!"

I smirked and began moving forward, taking long strides as I approached the ship. "She's a busy one, that's for sure." The smirk slipped from my face. "So, whaddaya think we've gotten ourselves into this time, Reza?"

He shrugged and began preening himself. "Looks like-au!- just another adventure in-au!- the lives of Reza and-au!- Finch, au!"

Chuckling, I poked him with one finer. "Which reminds me, I still don't get why you went along with this thing without any argument. You smell treasure or trouble or something?"

He smirked. "Probably-au!- the same reason you probably did-arau!-, Boss; I just felt like it, au!"

Shrugging, I boarded the craft and pulled the gangplank up after me. "Good enough reason, I guess."

The raven fluttered up to the masthead and continued his preening there, while Aliza leaned over the side and attempted to pull the anchor up; she didn't get very far, though, so I came up behind her.

"Allow me, Captain Al."

She smiled sheepishly up at me. "It's stuck."

Reaching down, I wrapped my hand around the thick rope and gave it a yank; the big metal double-hook shot out of the water and into the air, coming back down into my other hand, which was held out to the side in anticipation of its fall. Smirking at Aliza's awed expression, I set the anchor down on the deck and moved to the rear, where I discovered an actual helm, rather than the simple rudder that I had expected. Smiling widely, I whistled to Reza.

"Lower the sails, First Mate Reza!"

He saluted with one wing. "Aye-aye, First Mate Argyle, au!" With that, he spread his wings and flashed between the lashes of the sails, releasing the sheets and letting them fall down. Even as the first drops of rain began falling on us, the sails caught the wind that had been slowly building since I first drew Yamakaze and billowed; we shot forward and Aliza whooped.

"ONWARD TO TREASURE, PIRATES OF DOOM! WOOOOOOHOOOOO!"

-Dias Mortem-