Kid9535- Well, DUH! Of COURSE it's lame! I'm surprised it took you this long to say anything; why do you think everyone who's heard the name has laughed?! Sheesh.

And no, no pairings. The harem part is pure coincidence; I simply couldn't think of any guys who could have what I wanted in their characters without being homosexual. So there.

Um, your name rant sorta fell flat cuz I gots no idea what you're talking about. And almost all the names in One Piece are lame, if you think about it. Gol D. Roger?! Zoro the Swordsman?! Sheesh. And what about Alabasta?! Alabaster if said in a Southern accent, duh! Jeeze, peeps, get your naming conventions correct before you send your fans after me!

Muahaha.

And trust me; I have drowned numerous times in Author Depression. I've discovered that the best way to overcome it is to press on against your better judgement; it's why I'm still writing this story. Kekeke.

By the way, I'm glad you decided to stop lurking; I love you guys. XD

BlueRyuu- To the Might and Awesome Dragon of Blueness, greetings from Mars.

And Aliza's candy DOES come out weaponized unless she specifically wants to eat it; pure habit. Hehehe.

Lemony-sweet! XD

By the way, did you send me a PM about chapter 516 and how it was ruining my idea? I am weirded out by it...

Anyway...

-Lev no zev-

As we sailed on toward whatever island Nicone had designated for our next stop, we lounged around in one of the spare cabins, griping about the lack of furniture in the treasure hold and coming to a group decision to purchase some at the next stop with some of the treasure we had. Once that was done, we fell silent for a moment, then Aliza perked up as Nicone came in from lashing down the wheel to keep us on course.

"I know! Let's tell everyone a little about ourselves!"

Shasta groaned, while Nicone snorted and I just remained silent.

"Right," Nicone said dryly. "Hi, I'm Nicone, the bastard offspring of a dual personality girl and a psychopathic scientist, my mommy and daddy were butchered years ago, et cetera."

A drop of sweat formed on the back of Aliza's head, then she shook her head and glared severely at Nicone.

"Well, Nicky, thank you for such a wonderful tale. Party pooper." She tossed her head, sending her candy-cane hair from one shoulder to the other, and turned to Shasta. "Anyway, your turn, Sassy!"

Shasta seemed about to make a smart remark, then she abruptly shrugged and sat down cross-legged on the deck.

"My name is Shastavera ne Cor'dell," I felt a chill run down my spine at her name, but I ignored it as she continued, "and I was born on the island of Qel'darnas." Her gaze flickered toward me, then she continued forward, her swords propping her up off the floor. "My mother was an expert in the art of Death Dancing, while my father was a master swordsman." Shrugging, she offered up a half-smile. "You can see how I got my fighting style, no?"

I chuckled as Aliza looked curiously at Shasta. "Death Dance. The art of mesmerizing your opponents with your body movement, allowing you to move close enough to deliver a death blow to one of their major body components, such as the spine or skull."

She smiled thinly at me. "Yes. We were part of an elite fighting unit that defended our island from attackers; because we were so close to Sea Demon territory, we had to be extra careful about it."

"I remember the reputation of the Qel'darnians." I chuckled low in my throat. "Their soldiers were said to have a strength ratio of three-for-one against the Warriors of Gorgon."

Nicone raised an eyebrow at me. "Uh, that's about normal for most elite units. What's so special about that?"

Shasta smiled grimly. "The Warriors of Gorgon could destroy islands with a single blow and were considered some of the most powerful beings ever known. I think the comparison of the two groups is very complimentary to my people."

I looked at her and spoke low. "It's too bad they were destroyed."

Aliza gasped and looked over at Shasta, who was looking down at the deck with bitterness in her expression. "Yeah, it is. What makes it worse is they were destroyed by one of our own." I could feel her tensing as she looked down even further, hiding her eyes behind her hair as she spoke again. "My father."

Nicone and Aliza's jaws dropped, sheer shock freezing their expressions. I felt my own cheek twitch, despite the fact I had already known that, then I spoke.

"Medusa was highly relieved when she heard that one of her more powerful possible rivals had been destroyed, but there were few in her armies that were happy about the circumstances. I myself had wished to test out their claims of strength and was not very happy to hear that they'd been butchered in their sleep by one of their own." Leaning back in my chair, I tipped it up against the wall and folded my arms, my hat brim over my eyes. "I did a little investigating on my own and discovered that the man who had done it, one Mutevera Cor'dell, had taken off to challenge Leviathan in the mistaken belief that defeating the Devil of Logia would make him the most powerful man in the world. His trail ended at a dissected, mutilated corpse propped up on a pole in front of Leviathan's stronghold, Derbyshire."

Shasta's shoulders shook once, then she looked up, avoiding our eyes, and continued with a choking voice. "I swore then and there to redeem my family's name and my people's honor with my own abilities. I decided to become the best swordswoman in the world; once I was, no one would ever question the power of the Qel'darnians or the honor of the Cor'dells!"

I chuckled, then Aliza leaped across the room with a sobbing wail and wrapped Shasta up in a hug, crying her eyes out. "AHH! YOU'VE HAD IT SO HAAARRRD, SASSY! I'M SORRY FOR YOUUU!"

Shasta frowned in exasperation and attempted to pry the clingy captain off with her arms. "Let... Go... Of... Me!"

I smirked. "What about you, Captain? What sort of story do you have?"

She frowned thoughtfully and promptly released Shasta, sitting down cross-legged on the floor and planting her chin on her fists. "Umm... Uhh..." She suddenly blinked and shot straight up, her fists clenched and a valiant expression on her face. "My name is Aliza Alicia Alamonium! I was born on Luki Island, my mommy dead in childbirth and my daddy having left long before! I was raised by my granny and grampy Alamonium until I was ten, when I ate the Sweet-Sweet Fruit and became a Sugar Babe!" I almost chuckled at that, while Nicone out-and-out laughed and even Shasta smirked. "Stop laughing! After that, I left the island to become a great pirate to make lotsa money for Granny and Grampy so they won't hafta work forever! But I got caught by some scummy Marines and was locked up until some kid with a straw hat busted me loose and I met up with Argy and that's the end of it!"

She sat down, out of breath from having said that all at once, and I smirked. "Well, what interesting lives you all lead."

Shasta raised an eyebrow at me. "Now it's your turn, O great Gargoyle. I'm curious as to how one of the Warriors of Gorgon came to be in a pirate crew."

Aliza looked at me curiously. "What's a Gorgon?"

I smirked and tilted my hat back on my head. "Well, a Warrior of Gorgon is what they used to call the elite fighters of the Gorgon Armies. A Gorgon is a servant of the Gorgon Queen, Medusa the All-Seeing."

Nicone frowned thoughtfully. "Umm, I'm lost already. Gorgon Armies?"

I chuckled and glanced at Shasta. "I do not believe that they've heard of the Sea Devil Wars, either."

She sighed and laid down on her side, making herself comfortable. "Let's hear it."

Smiling, I leaned back in my seat and folded my hands behind my head.

-Lov'del du'kar zan-

I was born on an island far away, where a great race of warriors lived. We and our battle partners, the Death Ravens, conquered the nearby islands and made an empire for ourselves, from which we warred with several other island empires for many years. Our empire became known as the source of the most powerful warriors in the region and the deadliest fighters anywhere.

That might be what attracted the attention of Medusa, one of the three Sea Devils. The Sea Devils are exactly what the name says, the devils of the sea; it is they who created the Sea Devil Fruits and they who ensure that the fruits maintain their power. Despite their similarities, however, it was their differences that ensured that they began warring and conquering armies to fight with them.

It is that warring that attracted Medusa to our island of warriors and that warring which ensured that she had the skill and experience necessary to be able to conquer us, although with much difficulty. Once we were taken, she began utilizing the unique abilities of our human-raven combat duos and began conquering large tracts of the sea. Recognizing that we were the source of her power, the other two Sea Devils, in one of the random acts that occurred during the many, many years of war in that area, combined forces long enough to launch an all-out assault on our homeland, completely wiping it off the face of the earth.

By the time those few of us left were able to make it back, there was nothing left to save.

My comrades and I went rogue for a bit at that point, our quest for vengeance causing us to directly assault the two Sea Devils while they were enjoying a victory celebration in a neutral location. We managed to knock them back, but their forces were too many and they gained enough of a respite to launch a counterattack of their own. When it was all said and done, the island was gone, my comrades were all dead and I was only saved by my seniority in rank to the others, which meant I had earned the Gorgon Eyes.

The Gorgon Eyes were the source of Medusa's power; with them, she could see anything, anytime, anywhere and could control what she saw. Among her followers, I am the only one who was given all of the abilities of the Eyes. That is why I wear my blindfold; if, for some reason, I ever lose my temper, I usually end up tearing everything around me to pieces. That, for obvious reasons, is a pain to try and fix later.

Anyway, after I returned to her services and after many years of loyally serving her and even becoming her consort, I eventually discerned that she was becoming senile and paranoid, leading her to perform more and more unfocused activities that threatened everything in the world. Deciding that the Sea Devil Wars must end, I developed a plan and initiated it.

The details are something few people suspect and even fewer actually know, for reasons which only I know. Suffice to say, in the end I destroyed all three Sea Devils, by hook or by crook, and obliterated their power from the world, followed by a full-scale assault on all of the remaining forces that hadn't already struck out on their own. When it was over, Reza and I set out on a raft, determined to avoid war forever.

-Li kel zan-

Shasta sighed irritably as I finished. "Despite all the outlandish explanations you've just given us, you still haven't explained why you're part of a pirate crew."

I shrugged as Nicone and Aliza stared open-mouthed in awe at me. "I just felt like it."

The woman growled and slapped her forehead. "I think I'm insane."

At that second, something hit the ship with a loud boom; the entire craft rocked to one side as I shot out of my seat, my intense gaze confirming what the rest of my senses had already figured out; that had been a near-miss by a cannon.

"ATTENTION, UNIDENTIFIED VESSEL! YOU ARE SAILING INTO RESTRICTED WATERS! CEASE ALL MOVEMENT AND PREPARE FOR BOARDING!"

"Like heck!" Aliza bolted out of the room, followed by myself and Nicone, Shasta coming up after she had strapped her swords on. As we left the confines of the lower decks and emerged into the late-evening air, we found ourselves surrounded by a fleet of seven Navy battleships, with floodlights focused on us and cannons focused on our ship. Smiling, I looked down at Aliza, whose eyes were shadowed by her hair.

"So, Captain, how shall we respond?"

Inhaling deeply, she exploded, "WE ARE THE PIRATES OF DOOM! ZEEZE ALL SHOUTING AND PREPARE TO BE DESTROYED!"

I felt a drop of sweat trickle down the back of my head and leaned over toward her. "Um, Captain, it's cease all movement."

She sent a glare at me. "I'm no good with big words, okay?!"

"SINCE YOU ARE PIRATES AND HAVE DECIDED ON THIS COURSE OF ACTION," the man with the loudspeaker shouted at us from one of the ships, "PREPARE TO BE DESTROYED!"

With that, all of the cannons facing us fired, sending a swarm of cannonballs at us. Smirking, Aliza snapped her fingers.

"Get 'em, Argy."

I felt my eyes widen slightly, then shrugged. Orders were orders. Digging my heels in, I flashed forward.

The first set of cannonballs were on a wonderful trajectory, obviously from marksmen; they were aimed at the masts, meaning it only required a slight alteration in flight path to send them shooting toward their own ships on the other side. Flashing to the next group of cannonballs, I discovered that they had been fired directly at the center of the ship, meaning I had no choice but to waste precious time reflecting them back at the ship that had fired them. Once that was accomplished, I flashed to the next group, reflecting those, as well; it was that way the whole way around, save for the cannonballs of the ship I had redirected the first cannonballs at. Those cannonballs I sent flying in all directions before moving on.

Once I was finished, I returned to Captain Aliza's side, my momentum creating a counter-current of air that caused her hair, which had started blowing from my departure speed, to blow in the other direction briefly.

"Done, my Captain."

With that, the circle of battleships around us exploded spectacularly, fire ripping through the ships as their crews were taken completely by surprise. The lone battleship that escaped the fire began turning as panicked shouts echoed across the water; smirking, Aliza pointed at the ship.

"My turn. SWEET SWEET WARHEADS!"

Large hard candies began popping into existence and shooting toward the retreating ship, blasting it to pieces and splitting it in two. Smirking as we continued sailing sedately through the sinking ships, I strode to the side and smiled down at the marines and sailors as they clung to jetsam to stay afloat.

"Congratulations! You are the second fleet that has had the glory of being destroyed by the Pirates of Doom and the first Navy fleet to be done in by us!"

There was a spattering of curses directed at us, then I turned away and strode back beside my captain, who was smirking cockily at the flattened fleet around us. Shasta stepped up beside me, her voice dry.

"Well, I guess that settles whether or not you really are a demon, Gargoyle. Now if only I could figure out what you're doing here, I'll be content."

Glowering at her, I snorted. "I've already told you, I feel like doing this."

"Whatever." Turning away, she smirked at me smugly. "I'll believe it when I see it."

I almost punched her, but then a voice from a hundred years before wove itself through the air.

"Well, well, well, so the Destroyer is alive? How interesting; I haven't seen you in some time, Commander." Snapping my gaze up, I felt my eyes widen as I spotted the winged female standing on top of the mast, the huge sword on her back not appearing to give her any trouble at all as she smirked down at us. "I must admit, when the World Government contacted us in a tizzy, I expected something a little less dangerous, like the revival of Pluton or the recreation of the Poneglyphs. I never even dreamed it would be the former commander of the Gorgon armies."

Slowly straightening up, I drew my arms inside my coat, making it rest on my shoulders alone as I stared up at her. "Lyss'arna, Wing Commander of the Siren Guard. It's an honor to have you grace my presence."

The woman that had been called the most bloodthirsty of a group of murderers smiled toothily down at me. "You know me; I'm honored. But do you also know my fellows, I wonder? Or rather, remember?"

Three more figures appeared next to her, their hands wrapped around the massive weapons on their backs, and I felt my blood slowly begin freezing as I identified them all. "Diamondcutter of the Merman Corps, Lif'sara of the Sirens," my eyes widened even further as I recognized the massive war hammer on the back of the third cloaked figure, "and Nazar of the Warriors of Gorgon."

The latter smirked as she removed her hood, her Gorgon Eyes glowing in the night as the fires were slowly left behind us. "Been awhile, Commander. I'm surprised you remember those you betrayed so thoroughly."

Slowly reaching back, I wrapped my own hand around Yamakaze's shaft as I glared at them from beneath my hat brim. Before I could reply, however, Aliza stepped forward and growled at them.

"Whodoya think you are! This is my ship, and nobody comes on unless I say so!"

"Shut up and let the adults talk, girly." Lyss'arna's voice was as murderous as the smile on her face. "I'd love to kill you all and burn your corpses, but we're only here for him." She pointed at me, a smirk on her face as she continued, "Without him, the Government has decided that the rest of you are non-threatening."

Shasta flashed forward, her swords shining in the moonlight as she leaped up; grunting, I flashed past her and placed myself between her and them, taking her slashes without pain or injury as I stared down the four, who had been about to move.

"Shasta, you will stay out of this fight and protect Aliza and Nicone. If you try to fight them, you'll die."

She grabbed one of my arms and vaulted over me, her expression calm. "If I don't fight that swordswoman after he has so blatantly challenged my captain, I'll live in shame." Smirking, she crossed her arms in front of her as she fell toward her target. "Dance of the-"

She died as Lyss'arna tore her throat out, never once removing her blade from its sheath.

Aliza screamed in anguish, Nicone screamed in horror and I screamed in rage.