A/N: Turns out he was worth worrying about after all. O.o

Disclaimer: In no shape, size, form, color, width, height, weirdness, or awesomeness do I own Bleach - or any of its characters - or zanpakuto spirits - or anything else.

Ya. Bummer.

"This? This?! …Do the fates mean to tell me that this - this fat fool - is my long-awaited master?!"

"Oi, you quit talking like I'm not even here! I heard that! And you've got no grounds to say that about me! You aren't so great yourself, if you ask me!"

"Is that intended to be an insult…?! How dare you?! The only fat slob to be found around here is you!" Quite clearly upset, it was with a great flourish that Gegetsuburi threw his five pairs of arms skyward. "I wait fifty-three years for this?! For you?! …This must be some kind of mistake! Who are you, and how did you get here?! What have you done with my real master?!"

The recipient to this outraged inquiry puffed up indignantly, flabby features contorting into a guise of huffy anger.

"If you must know, you disgusting fiend, my name is Marechiyo Yoshiayamenosuke Nikkotaroemon Omaeda!!" He paused for a moment, taking a large gulp of air - saying so many syllables in one breath could be trying for the lungs. Then, having fully recovered, he plowed onward with his offence, raising a fist for good measure. "Eh? Eh?! How d'you like that?! That good enough for you, you five-headed golem?!"

The said golem stumbled backwards as though he had been physically struck.

"No! Noooo! It can't be!!" One of the five faces branching out from his multiple throats glared at the pudgy, ugly, and much shorter shinigami before it.

"But you can't deny it, and you know it!! Only the real me would be able to remember my full name - and pronounce every bit of it correctly!" If possible, Marechiyo puffed up a little bit more, anger replaced by pride. "Nobody else has ever been able to do that! No one! And you know what that means, Gegetsuburi! Accept it! Admit it!!"

All five muscular faces swung back and forth in a vigorous shaking of heads. Gegetsuburi remained in denial.

"But - but it isn't fair! I've been reading your thoughts for ages!" One massive hand was uplifted, pointing an accusatory finger at Omaeda. "I was expecting a berserker! A warrior! A man who could at least defend himself!" The finger began to quiver with rage. "I thought you'd be a respectable shinigami - and all this time - I was reading the thoughts of - of you!"

And Marechiyo's proud mood evaporated instantly.

"So you're saying that just because I'm - I'm well-fed - you think I suck?! Eh?! Is that it?!"

"Took the words out of my mouth!"

"But - but that isn't fair!"

"You tell me!"

A glaring contest ensued.

Needless to say, this first encounter between sword and wielder was not exactly one of the more…agreeable ones.

With the majority of the argument temporarily halted, Marechiyo's inner world reveled in a temporary silence. The ground was gray, stony, devoid of plants, and ruined buildings were scattered all over - some sort of abandoned alpine village, perhaps. In addition, the air was quite cold and clear, so that any one sound was suddenly projected and magnified, resounding echoes ringing for quite a few seconds afterwards - and, as such, the argument between Gegetsuburi and Omaeda had been equivalent in volume to a great stampede of buffalo. With words now briefly ceased, however, the silence was heavy - almost as if it were supposed to be broken here, almost as if it was not normal for such an absolute hush to be there.

Marechiyo supposed a giant, hulking thing like Gegetsuburi broke that silence daily with ease. The spirit was about nine feet tall, a pillar of coal-black skin and hulking muscles, and though he only had one pair of legs, he had five pairs of arms, all ten wrists adorned by a metal-spiked band apiece, and five heads, each one with its own expression, though each one apparently had an extremely loud voice. From what he had witnessed during the argument - or kind of noticed in passing, actually - Gegetsuburi seemed to use each of his faces to speak one word, which made his use of full sentences a rather strange spectacle to behold.

Big. Scary.

Could probably kick ass.

…Ugly, though. Real ugly.

Gegetsuburi's ten eyes narrowed threateningly.

"What are you thinking?! You're thinking something! About me!"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Just thinking over how ugly you are."

"Was that an insult…?! How dare you! Calling me ugly! Have you ever seen your face in a mirror?! Oh, but then again, of course you haven't! They would always shatter in your sheer presence before you could get a good look at yourself!"

A vein popped in Omaeda's forehead.

"You say that again to my face!"

"Yeah?! Well, I just did!"

"Then say it again!"

"Fine! You're ugly! Ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, UGLY, UGLY, UGLY!"

Two veins popped in Omaeda's forehead.

Gegetsuburi pounded on relentlessly, his huge voice repeating over and over millions of times in the resonant air.

"In fact, you're so UGLY that I'm surprised nobody's screamed and run from you yet! You're so hideous that I'm surprised Yumichika Ayasegawa hasn't already killed you for blemishing this poor, poor earth with your horrid unsightliness!"

Four veins popped in Omaeda's forehead.

And, predictably, he snapped.

Violently.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU LAME, BRAWNY EXCUSE OF A ZANPAKUTO!!"

"NEVER!!" Gegetsuburi roared.

"OH YES YOU WILL!!"

"OH NO I WON'T!!"

"YES!!"

"NO!!"

"YES!!"

"NO!!"

"OH YEAH?! WELL THEN, TAKE THIS!! AAAAAARGH!!"

If one was to watch the whole thing from a distance, a huge explosion of dust and rock would be seen, followed by much bellowing and shouting.

"Hmmmm…"

"Ah, spit it out already."

"Well, I guess you're the real master…nobody's ever knocked me down like that before…"

"Of course not." A nostril was picked, and a booger was flicked out onto some unfortunate stone not far from them. "Only a person with my kind of physique would be able to do it, y'know."

"Marechiyo…"

"Oh, all right. Fine. I guess you're…you're a pretty good zanpakuto too."

"That's right."

They were both sitting on the ground at this point, the collapsed rubble of various ruined buildings that had been destroyed during their tussle now lying scattered and broken around them. They were back to back, refusing to look at each other, with various cuts and bruises adorning both of them.

It was Gegetsuburi that broke the silence once more. For once, the golem's voice was pensive rather than outraged, though the loudness of his voice…or voices…was no less diminished.

"What I still don't understand, though, is how you could look like…like that…when your thoughts are so…so…"

"Beserkerly?" Omaeda filled in, a tad hopefully.

"…So not like you," Gegetsuburi finished. Unseen, Omaeda pouted.

"Well, it's not like brains ever matched brawn. I don't have to look good to be strong, y'know."

"Hm…guess not…"

"Not 'guess not'! Of course not!"

"Fine, fine! However you want to put it!" Gegetsuburi placed three fingers on his sharp chin. "I guess this means that you can't judge a book by its cover, can you?"

"What? What kind of a lame moral is that?"

"Hey, I don't know! I just heard it somewhere…or you did…or something like that…"

Thus the night slogged on - a night in which Marechiyo Omaeda found that he had never had such a good opponent in the profession of snide remarks, and Gegetsuburi found that not all fat and flabby and ugly people were actually the weaklings they made themselves out to be.

And it was also thus that the first impressions either had garnered from the other were thrown out the window, hopefully never to be viewed or thought of again.

…Though there was no guarantee that they would be forgotten, unfortunately.

A/N: Uh…yeah…so…

Was anybody else rather thrown for a loop with the way the most recent manga chapter unfolded? Because I myself was sure as surprised as hell. Seriously, I thought Omaeda would be flattened like a pancake by his opponent, but…the flattening sort of flipped the other way around… O.o Makes you wonder if he's just been hiding all those abilities all along…though, then again, it could have been a fluke, the spur of the moment, or sheer, dumb luck. We may never know. 8/

Anyways, I'm not really sure how this chapter became what it was. I'm sure it would have turned out different, I swear…but then Gegetsuburi started going on his ugliness rant, Omaeda blew several arteries, and…well…there you have it. -.-' I suppose this is what they call it when a fic sort of 'runs away with all the wild insanity of a Mexican jumping bean'.

…

-sigh-

Hopefully, however, the message somehow got itself across…though I have no idea whether the intention was still there by the end of it…so ya. Here you have it.

Just gonna have to sit back and await the feedback, I guess…

Anyways…

To D R A G O N L I L I E S (coffee candy, eh? -drool-), St. Kitsune, KawaiiRiniBunny, Moonrise31, wisdom-jewel, Briannabanana79, and Cymru na Alethaira, many gifts of utmost gratitude are distributed! May your wishes come true and your dreams become real! May you experience eternal happiness and find the Fountain of Youth! And…uh…may you experience lots of other wonderful stuff! Yeah! :D Once again, I find myself unable to reply to you all in person, but just bear with a horribly busy hostess for just a bit longer. -sweatdrop-