A/N: There is a little discontinuity and choppiness with the timeline so pay attention to the conveniently placed timestamps. Have fun people.

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Melo rubbed her eyes groggily as she began to wake up. She had her music player/cell phone with her and decided to check the day and time.

Good morning Ms.VaguelyHispanicLookin'! It is Thursday 1:07 A.M.

The words were seared into her eyes by the overly bright digital display. She blinked away random bursts of color behind her eyelids.

"Oh good, you're awake!" Tobi hummed happily. Oh yeah, kidnapped by ninjas. Almost forgot. Melo took in her surroundings as she regained her memory of what occurred a few minutes ago.

"Dude, I didn't know ninjas could drive." Melo remarked to no one, and began snooping through the contents of the AkatsukiMobile. Sock, joint, nail polish, dolphin plushy, dead rat... wtf, is that a dirty diaper? Sasuke, who was in the backseat of Tobi's car with Melo, stared at the girl intently. Sasuke could deny the urge to ask no longer...he had to know if it was true.

"So...you're sure you aren't Asian?"

"I'M NOT ASIAN." Melo hissed while swiping at Sasuke's cheek. Melo had gained many of her cats' qualities, namely hissing.

"Tch whatever Ms.VaguelyHispaniclookin'," Sasuke sneered. "Madara, remind me why we decided to kidnap her."

"Tobi was very bored, so Tobi decided to steal girl." Tobi responded brightly while putting his left blinker on to change lanes.

"HEY NO! WRONG EXIT!! TURN LEFT! LEFT!!" Melo bellowed while grabbing onto the steering wheel. The car swerved like a drunk during a sobriety test.

"WHAT IN KYUUBI'S NAME DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! YOU ALMOST GOT US KILLED!" Sasuke shouted while trying to control his heavy breathing.

"...I wanted Jack N' Box" Melo replied, now being shoved off of the steering wheel by Tobi.

"You...almost got us killed for...burgers?" Tobi sweatdropped. "You didn't think to just, you know ask?"

"Well you know…" Melo poked at the roof of the car, "being kidnapped I assumed you wouldn't listen to my demands."

Tobi chuckled "See Sasuke, Tobi knew that this was going to be fun." Tobi directed the car into the parking space of the fast food chain.

"Yeah fun. My left ass cheek and his brother..." Sasuke grumbled angrily.

"Uh...not that I don't appreciate you meeting my food demands but ah... I suggest we go through the drive thru." Melo said carefully. Tobi got out of the car along with Sasuke.

"Why would we do that? We're going to be in the car afterwards." Tobi said.

"…Fine suit yourself." Melo hopped out of the car.

Melo decided to walk (inconspicuously) behind the two oddly dressed males as they entered the door. Even at the butt-crack-of-dawn (cleverly disguised as "morning"), the hustle and bustle of a fast food chain never really died down, especially if they were conveniently located near a freeway. However, as though a baby got shot, an eerie silence descended upon the entire store as the door jingled signaling customers. The customers just so happened to be the two ninjas Sasuke and Tobi. Unfortunately for the sanity of those in the store, it was not a convention week so there was no 'Oh freaks in costumes that's normal this time of year' excuse in their heads. There were just two males dressed in oversized flamboyant clothing (one of which had a sword sticking out) in their store. Ordering cheese burgers.

Oh so that's what she meant.

After much hassle, the three were back in the car. Tobi began to drive faster and faster as they sped through the conveniently empty freeway.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Melo shrieked.

"What do you think Ms.VaguelyHispanicLooking? This is our stop!" Tobi shouted happily as he gunned the gas pedal and smashed into the 'DEAD END' sign.

"MY NAME IS MELO!!" Melo screamed as she slammed her eyes shut, thinking Tobi was so high off of the polluted air that he must've been crazy enough to commit suicide.

"So…should we tell her we're not dead?"

She cracked one eye open to discover the car had disappeared and that she was now in fetal position on top of a rock.

"Nah, this is more fun." Tobi chuckled. Melo opened her eyes to find both males staring down on her.

"Mels, welcome to Akatsuki lair." Tobi spoke and swept a (what he thought was) grand gesture, showcasing their surroundings. Melo turned around to see the rainbow colored neon sign that prominently displayed 'EVIL LAIR' over the entryway.

"I take it you never get lost on the way back…" Melo sweat dropped.

Good Morning Ms.VaguelyHispanicLookin'. It is Thursday 3:42 A.M.