AN: Wow, that you all so much for the reviews. I wasn't sure how this story was going to go over, but knowing that people are reading and enjoying it is a great feeling.
Some of my favorite characters are finally getting some page time. And the next chapter promises to be even better.
I know it takes forever to get the updates, but this chapter, without this AN, is 8,054 words. So you can see that I'm trying very hard to give you guys long chapters. On my Microsoft word, where the whole story is being written, it's telling me that this story, all together, is over 50 pages so far, and this is just chapter four!
I can't imagine the length that this monster is going to end up being, but it's my favorite story, so I don't mind Alice demanding a long story.
Enjoy!
Chapter four
--
During the next couple weeks, Cheshire, and White came and went. They tried to talk to Alice, but she wanted nothing to do with them. The emotions she was going through was too painful and she realized that in some ways, they had trapped her here.
So instead of sitting around mopping, Alice threw herself into different tasks. The Mother Gnome was always needing a little help in collecting items for her emotion potions.
And she was a good person to talk to. She understood what it was like too be sad over something that, to everyone else around you, seemed like something little, when to the person feeling it, it was the only thing in the world that mattered.
Today, Alice was knee deep in mud. She was wearing a pair of rubber pants, boots, and an old shirt. The thing she digging around trying to find was a tiny root that could be used in courage potion. It hadn't been found for years, Mother Gnome thought it had finally died out.
But Alice liked to think that she would be the one to find it.
So here she was, knee deep in a pit of orange mud, or at least she was going to call it mud. She was crouching down, hands buried up to the elbows in the stuff.
This mud wasn't like the mud back home. It was softer more watery. Though it was just as messy and hard to move around in.
"You're a mess," Dormouse said, from his place on dry ground. His hair was falling into his eyes, and he looked like he hadn't been sleeping well.
Alice turned as best as she could and gave him a hard look, "Do you have to pick on me?" she questioned, freeing her hands from the mud and standing up. She reached up and brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face.
Dormouse's lips twitched, he pointed and gestured to her forehead.
Alice cursed and rolled her eyes, "I know…" she shook her head.
Dormouse was perhaps the one person, out of the three that she called good friends, that she wasn't overly upset with. He'd had everything figured out, and he knew what would happen when they tried bringing Alice back to wonderland. It was one of the reasons that he had been completely against it.
White on the other hand was pleased with the turn of events. It was just another thing he wouldn't have to do later. He had always been that way though, why do tomorrow what you can get done today.
And Cheshire, well Cheshire wasn't happy or sad about it. He knew that it was better for wonderland that she stay and become queen, he may not have wanted to dirty his hands by being the one to drag her back. But he wasn't going to pretend to be happy or sad. He was just… Cheshire.
Alice moved through the mud and over to the main land.
Dormouse reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her from the mud. "Don't know why you're bothering to look for it, it hasn't grown for years now." He said, wiping his hands on his pants.
Alice shrugged her shoulders. "It gives me an excuse not to be around when Cheshire and White are in the village."
"You can't avoid them forever,"
"I can try." Alice snapped. She drew back the emotion and closed it down. "Sorry," she sighed.
Dormouse shrugged his shoulders. "I don't blame you for being upset Alice. The fact they didn't tell you is just cruel." He shook his head, "I can't believe they thought they could get away with it."
Alice leaned her head against his chest, sighing softly. "I hate this… I was better off not knowing that I was trapped here… now it feels like some golden cage." She looked up at him. "It's a very pretty cage. But it's a cage nonetheless." Her eyes closed and she rested her head against his chest again.
Dormouse wrapped his arms around her and nodded. "I know. Believe me. I know that better than you do. I've been inside this cage for a long time now."
Alice looked up. "What do you mean?" she questioned.
Dormouse blinked slowly, "I wasn't born in wonderland, Alice, I was human."
Alice's eyes widened. She pulled away from him, her mouth opened and closed. "I never… I never knew!" she exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me!"
His lips twitched. "You never asked."
Alice smacked his chest. "You ass," she said.
Dormouse smiled. He cupped her chin and leaned forward.
Alice froze.
Their lips brushed.
Dormouse pulled away and smiled at her. "Just remember, Alice, I know what you're going through. I've been there." He stepped away from her and started back toward the village.
Alice swallowed hard. She watched him with a strange look in her eyes. Her emotions were all over the place at the moment. She felt embarrassed, and a little upset by the kiss. Dormouse was a friend, he'd always been her friend. She wasn't sure if things should change.
"You two looked friendly."
Alice watched Cheshire appear out of thin air, "Have you taken to spying now?" she asked.
Cheshire crossed his arms and glared. "Never you mind. White wants to talk with you."
Alice snorted, "what makes you think I want to talk to him?" she questioned.
Cheshire groaned loudly. "Alice, please don't be a brat." He snapped. "It's important."
Alice held her arms away from her body, "You mind if I get cleaned up first?"
Cheshire snorted, "If I were you I'd be a brat and track mud all over his nice clean house, but… you've always been my better."
Alice grinned.
--
Alice marched into the large house that was being used by White, she was clean, but her hair was still dripping with icy water. It was a nice house, the floors weren't rotting out from under his feet, and the Gnomes had been worked to get the plumbing up and working again.
It had come to light that when the Duchess took control of the village she'd forced all the gnomes into one of the many working camps, to mine some of the precious herbs that were needed in the potions she was becoming famous for.
Without the gnomes to care for it, the village fell into total disrepair until Mock had bargained for their freedom.
The queen's style of ruling reminded Alice of the Nazi's style of dealing with people they thought to be a threat, or lesser than themselves. They destroy it.
White was seated in a very nice wooden chair, the chair had been made from the wood of one of the fallen trees. It seemed that as Wonderland slipped further into an eternal winter, more and more of it's natural life had begun to die away.
The Gnomes had decided that they should honor each and every tree that fell in their village, and so they'd begun to repair the houses, build chairs and beds, use the wood to better the lives of themselves and the travelers that wandered here.
Alice thought it was all very honorable, but in some way it seemed cruel to use the trees in such a way.
"Alice," White greeted stiffly. He'd been treating Alice with a very exasperated attitude since she'd started ignoring him.
"White," Alice returned.
"Can we get along for a couple moments?"
"No promises."
White sighed loudly and looked to Cheshire and Dormouse for aid.
"Alice, this really is important news." Cheshire said, "Please don't behave like a child."
"Isn't that how you like me best?" Alice asked crossly, "as a child?"
Dormouse snickered. He was sitting atop the counter, his legs swinging underneath him. A look of total amusement on his face. "Don't look at me," he said when he got a cross look from Cheshire and White. "I'm a kid myself," he grinned.
Alice laughed at that. "What's this Oh so important news?" she questioned.
White sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "Caterpillar wants to meet with you." He said.
Alice's eyes flash, "Caterpillar?" she questioned. "The same Caterpillar that asked you to bring me here in the first place?"
Cheshire and White exchanged glances.
"What makes you think I want to meet him?" Alice snapped, tapping her foot on the ground. "He's just about ruined my whole life!"
White sighed and shook his head slowly, "Alice," he said, a strangely gentle tone becoming apparent. "Caterpillar is dying." There was a true sadness in his voice.
Alice's eyebrows knitted together, "Wait, what? Dying… Wonderlanders don't die." She said, shaking her head. "You guys hardly age, let alone die!"
Cheshire shook his head slowly, "remember how I questioned if the duchess gave you tea?" he said softly, "I asked because she and Caterpillar had tea together. He was trying for the gnomes freedom. She poisoned the tea with some sort of herb. The Mother gnome has been trying to fine a cure but has been unable to do so." He looked at white.
"He has held on for a few years now, taking treatments that the gnomes have put together, but all they do is numb the pain and extend his life a little bit at a time." White explained, "but there is only so much pain a body can take before it finally gives up. He doesn't have much time life. If you don't meet with him whatever he wants to say to you will go with him to his grave."
Alice stared at them, waiting for one of them to laugh as say 'fooled you, haha' but they didn't. their expressions were completely serious and pained.
"I'll meet with him." Alice said. guilt was a powerful emotion, perhaps they could bottle it and give it to the Duchess, then she'd have to give them the cure.
--
Caterpillar was staying in the northern end of the gnome village, it was too far to walk, so once again Alice found herself clinging to Cheshire as the horse galloped down the makeshift road. each bump was enough to make her whimper.
"There, that wasn't so bad now was it?" White laughed, reaching up to help her off the horse.
Alice glared at him, but she let him lift her off the horse. When her feet touched the ground she thanked every god whose name she knew.
"I'm never doing that again," she stated.
White chuckled and smiled.
It always amused Alice that she could tell when he was smiling. His eyes crinkled just slightly, but it was always the tell tale sign. Even though she couldn't see his face, she knew what his emotions were, his eyes were truly the doorway to his soul. And he seemed to be a weary sort of soul as of late.
Caterpillar's hut was well built, it was obvious that the gnomes adored the slender man. And it was also obvious that he was dying.
Caterpillar had always acted as the Wiseman of Wonderland. If there was ever a question that needed answering one only had too hunt him down and if they could get pass the bitter personality they would find the answer.
Caterpillar hadn't changed all that much. He still had the most amazing brown eyes that Alice had ever set sight on. They were like milky chocolate orbs, stunning. His skin had a greenish tint to it, but that was normal. He was extremely slender now, but he'd always been slender. His forest green hair was tied in a braid, and looked like it had been well cared for. His whole face was rather lovely and proper looking, good breeding. He had an ageless sort of look about him, no one quite knew how old or how young he was. he simply was. His face was gaunt and there was pain in his eyes.
"Alice," Caterpillar said. "You've grown."
Alice walked forward and forced a tiny smile onto her lips. "People do that." She said, repeating the words she'd once said to Cheshire, "and you look horrible." She added.
Caterpillar gave a weak laugh, "and I feel it as well." He said, he propped himself up using the pillows behind him. "We need to talk about some things…" he didn't add the last bit, but it was already said. they needed to talk before he died.
Alice sat gingerly on the side of the bed. she looked over as White and Cheshire left the room. Dormouse had stayed in the main area of the village, apparently he was one of their best fighters.
Caterpillar waited until the door had closed before his face relaxed. "I suspect that you are only here because I'm dying." He said, "Am I right?"
Alice sighed, "It would be rude of me to lie," she said, "so yes, I'm only here because White and Cheshire made me feel guilty."
He smiled, "I'm glad you're honest Alice, it makes me believe that wonderland did make the right choice," he closed his eyes, "I can die peacefully knowing that."
"You tricked me," Alice said. "You knew the tunnel was going to collapse."
Caterpillar laughed, "I had no idea things would work out that way. Am I sorry that you lost your body? Not really, no." he looked at her, "Alice, you were always queen, wonderland would've found a way to bring you back with or without our help. But we need you here Alice, we need you to be our queen."
"Seems to me like you already chose a queen, we can both see how well she's working out." Alice snapped.
Caterpillar's eyes flashed, "Watch it!" he snapped, "I may be dying but I'll still knock you flat on your pretty ass,"
Alice smirked, "Nice too see you aren't dead yet," she shook her head slowly, "Do you really think you're going to die?"
"I've held on for so long Alice, it's so painful." Caterpillar admitted. "I'm a burden to so many…" he trailed off.
"You're giving up," Alice snapped, "Just like that, you're giving up because it hurts!" she laughed, "God, if I gave up every time something hurt I would've been dead a long time ago. My mother, dying of brain cancer, held on for five years!"
"I know." Caterpillar admitted, "she was a strong woman, we have her to thank for many of the things we Wonderlanders love." He smiled fondly.
Alice shook her head again, "She was brilliant, but she's gone." She looked at him. "You're still here. You have a choice. Let the Duchess win, die. Or fight until you can no longer hold on, until you slip away. But don't lie down and die, please." She closed her eyes. "I don't want someone I love to die."
"Love?" Caterpillar questioned, "There is no lost love between us Alice. You hate me, and I tolerate you."
Alice's lips twitched, "No. I do love you. It's strange, and I don't understand it. But even when I'm angry, even when I feel like I want to runaway, I realize that I love you guys… even those stupid twins." She closed her eyes again.
Caterpillar stared at her, "Love is such a strange thing," he admitted. "Would it bother you if I admit that I love you as well?"
Alice smiled, "Do you?" she asked, opening her eyes, "or are you just saying that because I'm sitting here?"
Caterpillar's lips twitched, he lay comfortably on the pillow and smiled at her. "Alice, I was content with the life I lived before you came back. I was even content to watch the queen destroy everything, because I knew I was going to die anyway." He closed his eyes. "Your being here, your presence… it's changed so many things. I feel things that I don't understand. I don't know if I love you, I know I want to touch you, because I know your skin will be as soft as a flower under my fingertips. I know that I wouldn't mind kissing you, holding you…" he trailed off. "Is that love?" he finally asked.
Alice stared at him for a moment. "Sounds like lust to me." She finally admitted, "But it could be love," she grinned. It felt awkward, hearing him talk like that. Like she was everything he'd ever dream of in a person. And it also creeped her out that she was slightly flattered by it all.
She reached out slowly and laid her hand atop his. A small smile curling on her lips, "is my hand as 'soft as a flower?" she teased.
Caterpillar's lips twitched again, he turned his hand over and cupped her hand. "Yes." He answered. The way he looked at her made Alice's heart pound painful in her chest. Her eyes felt hot with unshed tears. She didn't want him to die.
Caterpillar eyes widened, "Dear Alice, don't cry." He pleaded. "I'm not dead yet!"
Alice sniffled. "Why do you guys always do this to me?" she asked. "I don't normally cry but when one of you gets hurt I cry, why is that?" she asked.
Caterpillar smiled. "Because you love us," he said.
Alice closed her eyes, "I do." She admitted. Feeling rather silly, "I do love you."
"Don't you mean us?" Caterpillar questioned.
Alice sighed, "I love all of you, but what I meant was that I do love you Caterpillar, even if you are a world-class hard ass, and a jerk." She sighed. "I love you for it all."
Caterpillar smiled, "Enough for a kiss?" he asked.
Alice smiled. She shifted her body and leaned over him. Just before their lips touched she had a moment nervousness. She'd never kissed an older man before. She'd been kissed, sure, but she'd never kissed someone like Caterpillar. But then her lips met his and all thought vanished from her mind. His lips tasted like the sweetest of honey. It was like she was drinking something out of the kiss. It rolled like a liquid down her tongue and she trembled.
Caterpillar's frail arms slipped around her waist and pulled her closer to his chest. And Alice was only happy to comply. She pressed herself as close to him as she was able and she simply melted.
She didn't know what was happening, but suddenly hands were pulling her away from Caterpillar. She gasped for air as she fell back into someone's arm.
"Alice, Alice!"
She blinked up at Cheshire and smiled dreamily at him. "Love you," she whispered. She was happily drunk on the emotions that were pouring down her throat and she was gone. Slipping into her own private dreams, to which Caterpillar was playing a staring roll. Though later she'd admit that Cheshire had slipped in once or twice.
--
Alice rolled over and buried her face into her pillow. She felt like someone was taking tiny hammers and chipping away at her brain.
"Good morning," White's voice said in her ear.
She groaned and turned over. "What are you doing here?" she asked sleepily.
White cocked his head to the side, "Silly Alice," he said fondly, "You're asleep in my bed."
Alice sat up and stared at him. She quickly checked to see what she was wearing. She still had the same clothes on that she'd stared with. She breathed a sigh of relief.
"Do you think so low of me?" White asked crossly. "If I was going to bed you, I'd do it only with your say."
Alice's cheeks flushed, "No. No. No, we're not having this talk. There will be no talk about bedding anyone!" she got up and quickly fell back onto the bed, dizzy. "God, what happened to me?" she asked.
White laughed, "That's what I'd like to know. You can thank Caterpillar for whatever happened. Though I think you own him a thankful anyway, you seemed to be enjoying him greatly."
Alice blinked and suddenly all the memories came back. "Oh, my… god." She flushed bright red. "What did we… I mean… what happened!"
Cheshire opened the door and smiled, "Hallo, sleeping beauty." He said cheerfully. "Good too see you awake."
Alice's shoulders slumped, she had a very odd memory of telling him that she loved him. "What happened?" she finally asked.
Cheshire's lips twitched, "Why don't you tell me." He said, walking over to sit next to her. "I only caught the end of that little show."
Alice's cheeks flushed a dark red color, "Don't tease," she begged, "My head's not working right enough for teasing."
Cheshire laughed and reached out, his hand pressing against her forehead, "Does it ever?" he asked.
Alice sighed.
White shook his head and walked toward the door, he peered out of it, into the hallway. For a moment he frowned and said something then shook his head.
"Who's out there?" Alice asked.
"Caterpillar." Cheshire answered.
For a couple moments Alice didn't know what he was talking about. "He's out in the hall…" she trailed off. "What are you talking about?"
Cheshire snorted. "Whatever you two did it fixed him." he explained, "but I don't know if fixed is the right word for what happened between you two."
Alice sighed, "Cheshire, I'm really not in the mood for head games. Speak plainly, please." She said.
"He's not sick," White explained from the doorway, "I… I don't know what you did to him but it's like he was never sick in the first place."
Alice blinked slowly, then she repeated this action until the words finally settled on her. "All I did was kiss him." she said stupidly, look at the two men. "That's all!"
"We know." They both answered.
Alice sighed, "So… how does this happen?" she looked at White, "I mean, a kiss doesn't make someone all better, if it did people would be doing a lot of kissing."
White and Cheshire looked at one another; finally Cheshire stepped up to bat. "Alice." He said. "We're not sure what happened, but it could have something too do with the fact that you're our queen. Hearts was never kind too us and if we were ill she'd be dancing on our grave, not trying to cure us." He shrugged. "You're very unique."
Alice's lips twitched. "Unique…" she fully smiled, "I like unique."
She closed her eyes again.
--
When Alice managed to drag herself out of bed and into somewhat clean clothes, she walked outside the house and onto a patio that overlooked a large garden. When Alice stepped out and spotted it she stared in surprise, completely freezing in mid-step. It was the first sign of plant life that she had seen since arriving in wonderland.
Caterpillar was kneeling among the flowers, his hands running along the tops. His lips moved as he whispered to the flowers, smiling as if he understood what they were telling him.
"Flowers." Alice said when she'd walked down the stairs and into the garden, "I haven't seen any flowers since I got here."
Caterpillar turned. His face was still gaunt with the aftereffects of his illness but overall he looked fine. His eyes were bright, a cheerfulness that hadn't been there in a long time danced over his face. he stood up, brushing his hands on his pants. "They were here when I woke up." He explained, "They say the ground tastes good around here." He smiled.
Alice blinked, "Tastes good?" she said, eyebrow raised, "It's dirt…" she sighed. She was being picky again.
Caterpillar reached out and touched the tip of her nose with his finger. "Smile." He ordered.
Alice's eyebrow shot up and her lips twitched.
"That's my girl." He said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.
Alice blinked. Something was wrong. Caterpillar had never pretended to enjoy her company, it had something too do with the fact that she'd insulted him on their first meeting. He'd never pretended to love her like the others did.
This change made her stomach drop. She swallowed hard and looked at him oddly, "Caterpillar," she said, "How do you feel towards me?"
Caterpillar's head cocked too the side, "What do you mean?" he questioned, "I'm fond of you, of course."
Alice sighed, "You used too hate me." She whispered.
Caterpillar's eyes widened, "I never hated you!" he said, the expression on his face said that he didn't believe a word of what she was saying. "I may not have always been kind but I certainly never hated you."
Alice shook her head. "Caterpillar, you were one of the people who didn't disagree when Hearts was going to have me executed." She gave him a hard look, "You've changed."
Caterpillar sighed loudly. He walked toward the patio.
Alice followed him, feeling a little sad that she was picking at a good thing. shouldn't she be happy too have Caterpillar treat her nicely?
But she wasn't happy with it. it bothered her too think that something she'd done might have changed his own personality. If someone was going too love her they should be allowed too choose it, not have it forced on them like some parasite.
Caterpillar took a seat in one of the chairs that surrounded the table on the patio. A teapot was sitting on the table and two places had been set.
Alice took the seat across from him. she carefully lifted the tea pot and poured Caterpillar some and then herself. She added some sugar and cream and when she'd finished going through the proper motions of taking tea she sat back in her chair and looked at Caterpillar. "are you not speaking to me?" she questioned when the silence had gone on longer than was proper.
Caterpillar reached out and took his cup, he brought it too his lips, blew a little, and took a sip. He set the cup back down on the little plate and sighed. "What am I to say?" he replied. "Am I too say; that I do love you? That I remember the way I felt before, and I know that before you kissed me I hated you. I don't know what you've done too me, would I undo it if I had the chance? I don't know." He looked at her with those amazing eyes.
Alice nodded her head. "And if you don't know what I've gone and done than no one does." She closed her eyes and sighed.
"If there's anyone who knows something about odd things happening it wouldn't be me." Caterpillar said, "It would be another person, one you know quite well."
Alice blinked, "Who would that be-" she trailed off and closed her eyes. "Isn't he working with the new queen."
"Indeed," Caterpillar said, "But if there's one person he'd welcome into his hospital it would be you and you alone."
"Hospital?"
"Asylum," Caterpillar corrected, "He runs the Queen's asylum. A place where people who refuse to conform are sent."
Alice stared at him for a couple beats, she was waiting for him too laugh and say 'Got'cha," or something like that, though it would have been completely out of character. But he didn't, his face stayed completely blank.
She closed her eyes and sighed, "How did that happen?" she asked.
"He murdered Time." Caterpillar answered.
Alice's eyes snapped open, "He did what!" she shouted.
"He murdered Time," Caterpillar repeated.
"When did this happen?" Alice asked, a sudden sinking feeling in her stomach.
"A few months before The Queen arrived, Time died, and we thought that if we had a new queen she might be able to bring him back. But he didn't return."
Alice had a sudden flash of memory, a pair of shocking gold eyes, warm arms, and a strange moment. 'It's almost time'. "God damnit!" she snapped, "I should have known!"
"Known what?" Caterpillar said, eyes wide.
"Time," Alice answered, "I should have known it was him."
"You've seen him?" Caterpillar questioned.
"Yeah, I should think so. He's the doctor that treated my mother before she died." Alice explained, "He's also been helping me through her death for the last couple years. He was there at the party, told me that it was almost time, I didn't know what he meant by it… now I do." She sighed, feeling very dumb.
"Fancy that. One of us really was looking over you." Caterpillar chuckled. There was a tightness too his lips.
"Anyway, how did Murdering Time end Hatter as this doctor person?"
"Hatter and Time are twins." Caterpillar replied.
Alice blinked, "I didn't know that." She said.
Caterpillar smiled, "Not many do." He admitted. "They aren't identical like the Tweedle twins, so it's very hard too tell."
"So, Hatter murdered his twin and that made him go more mad than normal?" Alice asked.
Caterpillar shook his head, "He's not insane Alice, he just wants too find a way too bring his brother back. It's a selfish and selfless reasoning." He sighed. "He's been offered a chance to bring Time back, and he will do anything to see it true, even if it means destroying thousands of lives."
Alice looked at her hands. Wouldn't she do the same things to have her mother back? Wouldn't she give up everything to have a few more moments with her mother, to be able to talk to her, laugh with her, and admit that she missed her.
"So you think he'll know what's happened too you?" She asked.
Caterpillar nodded his head, "Yes. Hatter has had his fair share of odd things happen in the relationship department, some of them you wouldn't have understood when you met him the first time around." He smiled, "But I think you'll spot it right away now."
Alice blinked, "Ok, I'm confused."
Caterpillar laughed. "I will not speak of it." he shook his head in amusement. "Now the only thing we need is a way to get you there."
"You said that anyone who refuses to conform is sent there, wouldn't that work for me?" she asked.
"The queen has ordered anyone who finds you is to send you straight too her." He sighed.
"What if I didn't look like me?" she asked.
Caterpillar frowned, "What do you mean, if you didn't look like you?"
"If I cut my hair," Alice said, "My hair is one of those things that give me away. If I cut my hair, perhaps dressed like a boy…" she looked at him.
Caterpillar nodded, "That would do it." he smiled. "Though there's always the risk that Hatter won't believe it's you."
Alice grinned, "Oh, he'll know it's mean!" she laughed.
Caterpillar frowned, "Only thing left is to get the others on board with this."
--
"No!"
Alice looked at the two men standing in front of her. "Aren't I queen?" she snapped, "So, doesn't that mean I'm entitled too do things that I want."
"If it's not life threatening!" Cheshire said, throwing his arms up, "This is so life threatening!"
Alice crossed her arms. "Cheshire, Hatter won't hurt me!" she snapped.
"I wish that were true," Dormouse said from the doorway.
Alice turned and looked at him, "Why do you say it like that?" she question.
"Alice," Dormouse said walking over. He unlaced some of the ties on his shirt. He pulled it down over his shoulder.
Alice swallowed hard. "Oh." She whispered.
His shoulder was like something out of a movie, it looked like a robot arm. wires and metal twisted into his chest and went down to what must have been a fake arm. "How did…" she trailed off.
"Hatter did this too me." Dormouse answered, "He did it and doesn't even see it as causing me harm, he thinks he's fixed me instead of destroyed me." There was bitterness in his voice and face. he looked at her, "He will see you and think you need fixing, and when he has you strapped too a table he wont stop with one fix, it will keep going until you're one of his clock work puppets, slaves that are only useful to the queen. Could you stand that Alice? Being locked inside a metal shell, being able to feel, see, and some are even able to cry, but there's no saving them once they're 'Fixed'. Only death will save them and I've made it my mission to destroy as many of them as I can in my lifetime."
"Why didn't he…" she trailed off, nodding towards the rest of Dormouse's body.
"Finish me?" Dormouse smiled bitterly, "Hare stepped in and saved me. He put himself in harms way to give me time to run, like the coward I am."
Alice shook her head. She walked over too him and tried too give him a hug but he stepped away from her. "Dormouse," she said, "if Hare was going too put himself on the line for you than it was a good thing you didn't stick around and waste his act. You're not a coward, you simply survived."
Dormouse reached out and cupped her face between his gloved hands, "Alice, it's pretty to imagine that I'm not a coward, but Hare was scared, he didn't want to do what he did, but he did it for me." He closed his eyes, "I owe him my life, and I would give it too him without question."
Alice leaned forward and finally hugging him again. Now that she knew what his arm was she could feel the difference between the skin and metal. She rested her head on the skin half and closed her eyes. "He's fine." She said. "Hatter wouldn't hurt him."
"Haven't I made myself clear?" Dormouse said, gripping her shoulder roughly, he pushed her away and look her in the eye. "He doesn't see this as hurting!" he shook his head. "He'll think of it as fixing the problem!"
Alice closed her eyes, breathed through her nose and sighed. "Dormouse, I'm going to do what I'm going to do." She opened her eyes and lifted her head to look him in the eye. "You're my friend, I know what Hatter did to you was wrong, there's no denying that. But I have too speak to him, I have to try. I need to know what is going on with things… and if talking to him will help me understand, than that is what I have to do."
There was a thick silence for a couple seconds, finally White spoke. "Nothing we say will stop you?"
"No." Alice answered, trying to be kind.
"Than there is nothing I can say or do except help you," White stood. "If you're going to put your life in danger the least we can do is make sure you have a safety net to fall back on."
Alice blinked, "What sort of safety net?" she asked.
"It's an orb." White explained, "but inside it is the dust of a looking glass, collected from the original glass dust."
Alice nodded, "How's going to help me?"
"The glass dust acts like a true looking glass, it can transport you through the entire world of wonderland, through every mirror possible. In theory you can smash it on the ground and end up back here in seconds." Cheshire stated from his place. His face was carefully blank, pained. "But since there's only one we've never had a chance to test if it works."
Alice gave a slight shrug of her shoulders. "I'm just going to have to trust that it does." She smiled brightly, almost as if amused with everything.
"This is no laughing matter, Alice." Caterpillar said. "You could die."
Alice turned her head and looked at him. "I know."
The words lingered in the air long after they had been said.
--
Alice closed her eyes and breathed through her nose. Slowly she reached up and fingered the back of her hair. "It's… so short." She whispered.
"Well, you did say you wanted to look like a boy." Cheshire reminded her, setting the shears down on the vanity table. He reached his hand out and touched the back of her hair, sliding his fingers through it. "Not bad, if I do say so myself. And I do." He grinned.
Alice opened her eyes and looked up at him. "You're not vain now are you?" she grinned weakly. She was trying not to let her nerves get to her. She didn't want them to see that seeing what had been done to Dormouse's arm had really affected her mood. She was afraid.
What had happened while she'd been away? Why had Hatter Changed so much… it was like some horrible monster had snuck into the world she'd known so well, and that thing was changing pieces of the puzzle.
A couple pieces changed and the whole puzzle began to look different. A different picture was being formed over the whole.
And there weren't enough pieces in place to see the final image.
Alice stood up and brushed some hair off the back of her neck. "So, this thing should work, right?" she asked. Fingering the necklace around her neck.
Cheshire gave a small nod. "It should." He answered. He sighed and leaned back against the vanity. "I still don' t like this."
"You don't have to like it, Cheshire. You simply have to let me do it." Alice replied sharply. She was tired, and she was also scared that if someone offered her the chance to get out of doing this she might just take it.
Cheshire closed his eyes, a sad look on his face.
Alice chewed her lip for a second before reaching up and laying her hand flat against the side of his face. his skin felt so smooth under her fingertips. His skin would always be smooth, because this was likely the oldest he would ever get. Maybe he would age inside, but his body would always be caught somewhere between being grown up, and being a teenager. That delicate line of dancing, one step over the line and things changed.
Cheshire opened his eyes and looked into Alice's. He reached up and laid his hand against hers. "I'm scared for you." He whispered. He looked at her with those lilac eyes; the worry was finally on the surface of them.
Alice smiled softly, "I know." She answered. She closed her eyes, stepped closer, and laid her head against his chest. She breathed in the scent of him, a scent that was purely his. "I am too." She admitted.
Cheshire sighed loudly, "Thank the crown for that." He whispered. He removed his hand from hers and cupped her chin, lifting her head. "I worried that you weren't taking this seriously."
Alice laid her hand against his chest. "Believe me Cheshire, I'm not that stupid." She sighed, "I have trouble believing that the man I used to be friends with could do something so horrible to his friends. I guess I don't want to believe it, but I have too. I have to believe that Hatter has changed, that he isn't the person I used to know. I have to believe that if push comes to shove, he'll kill me."
Cheshire nodded his head, pleased. "I've been waiting for you too say that." He breathed.
Alice closed her eyes and sighed. She was content to stay like this. But it was strange to realize that. She liked Cheshire well enough, He had always been a pain in the ass, teasing her, mocking her, but overall… she did care for him.
"Alice?"
Alice lifted her head from Cheshire's chest and stared at Caterpillar. "Is it time?" she asked.
Caterpillar nodded his head. "It's time."
--
Alice's heart was pounding. She walked along the road, fingering her necklace. All she had to do was get caught by some card guards. It was the easiest task in all of wonderland right now, because the guards didn't care to ask questions.
Apparently they got paid for how many people they turned over to Hatter's asylum. It didn't really matter if they were guilty of treason to the crown; all that mattered was for the Card Guards to make as much money as possible.
It reminded Alice a little of her own world, the way politicians had stopped thinking toward the better good of the people they were supposed to help, all they cared about was fancy cars. Summer homes. And getting to a higher better paid spot. It was a sad sight indeed.
She swallowed hard again and sighed. She tucked the orb necklace underneath her heavy shirt and trudged forward, her boots sticking into the mud.
The snow hadn't fallen, but that didn't stop the rain from freezing on the ground, and during the day the sleet turned into a mushy something and made the dirt turn to mud. It was hard to walk through, and it was just plain annoying.
Her mood wasn't the best that it could have been. She was annoyed, afraid, and tired. Tired of being the last to know about the worst of the changes. She hated the fact that everyone was treating her like she was some glass doll.
It was the same feeling that made her think of Wonderland as a golden cage. Just because the cage is beautiful and you have room to move around, it didn't serve to make it any less a cage. It was just a very fine cage.
She was trapped in this world. But she wasn't sure if she minded it all as much as she had before. She was starting to accept everything. Even if she was still bitter about it.
Suddenly there was a strange sound. Singing.
"Hail the queen, long live the queen." It was two lines that were repeated over and over again.
Alice hesitated in her steps. She drew in a sharp breath and waited for the Card Guards to round the bend in the road.
When they came into sight Alice couldn't help but feel strange.
For some reason she hadn't give much thought to the Guards of wonderland's royalty. They hadn't changed all that much, but the changes that had taken place were enough to draw notice from her.
The once youthful faces looked aged. More grown. The uniformed were the same, each Guard was dressed in the color of his or her card queen or kings. Only the royal guards wore the New Queen's symbol.
"Halt!" One of the Spade Guards called out.
Alice raised her hands in surrender. "I mean no harm!" she called out, trying to deepen her voice.
When the two guards reached her they were quick to slap on restraints and throw her in the back of a large wagon that was being pulled by two old horses.
She wasn't the only soul to be picked up today. There was at least ten people crammed into the back of the covered wagon. The horses looked tired and thin. There was also five other Guards in the group.
During the bumpy ride across wonderland, Alice found time to think. She realized that she was beyond afraid. She was shaking slightly, her head downcast, hate shadowing her face. her teeth was clenched together in an attempt to keep them from chattering.
She didn't want to do this anymore. She didn't want to go and meet with Hatter, didn't want to see what kind of monster he had become in the years she'd been gone.
How anyone could reason the act of cutting someone up and trying to 'fix' them, she didn't know. She was thankful that she didn't know what was going through Hatter's head. It meant that she wasn't nearly as crazy as he was.
The wagon bumped along the road for a long while. Alice was beginning to ache with the constant bumping and jerking. She was beyond tired now. Her eyes continued to flutter open and shut. Something was happening to her, she just didn't know what it was.
And she wasn't the only one going through the motions of beginning to fall asleep. The other people inside the wagon also began to doze, their heads lulling against their chests. A heaviness was filling the wagon.
Alice sighed, fighting to keep her eyes open.
The wagon came to a bone jarring stop. And those who'd already fallen asleep tumbled forward, slamming against the floor.
The back cover was open and two faces that Alice knew quite well were looking at her. The Twins.
Slowly but surely they began moving everyone out of the wagon, strapping them to gurneys. They disappeared and reappeared a couple times.
By the time they reached Alice, almost everyone had been taken away.
Alice's heart was pounding as one of the twins, she could no longer tell them apart because they were dressed in white lab style coats that covered their shirts. And one of them had their hair tied back in a way that made it seem very short, pulled her out of the wagon and began strapping her down.
"Aren't you pretty." The twin said, studying her. His hand came up and rested against her face. "I know those eyes." He whispered.
"Edu!" a voice snapped. "Hurry up!"
Edu looked down at Alice, he chewed his lip. "What are you planning?" he whispered. Beginning to walk with the gurney. "I know you're not stupid enough to get yourself caught."
Alice swallowed, getting her mouth to work was a task she wasn't sure she was up to. "Hatter…" she whispered.
Edu's eyes softened. "It's a drug." He explained softly. "It'll only last for a little while. You'll be able to think again in a couple hours. I'll wait to tell Hatter you're here." He removed her hat and chuckled. "Your hair."
Alice couldn't help the goofy smile that slid over her lips. "why… help?" she asked.
"Because I don't always agree with my twin. I go where he goes, but I don't always agree." Edu whispered.
"Edu!"
Edu quickened his pace and didn't speak to the teenager again.
Alice could only stare upwards at the sky, and then the sky changed to a ceiling. She felt sick. Long corridors stretched around her. She could feel the walls on either side of her. And there was screaming somewhere in the distance. A terrible screaming.
She was wheeled into a room, the bed was shifted so she was sitting half up, half down, staring at the door to the room.
Edu looked at her for a moment, worry in his eyes. But he did his job. He turned away and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with a loud bang.
--