Chapter Eight
Confronting Ghosts of the Past
The last two weeks before Christmas had passed in a whirlwind of activity. Everyone had secrets to keep. The children as well as Erik had been warned away from certain corners. Matthew and Julianna were always on their best behavior at this time of year. Lately they had been as close to perfect as two children could be. Matthew especially went out of his way to be helpful. Not getting into trouble searching for treasure had seemed like a huge blessing to Ariella. She could only assume it was Erik's influence changing his behaviour.
Antoinette had volunteered to keep the two children so Ariella could wrap their gifts. She planned to let them bake cookies in the chef's kitchen. Chef Henri was more than willing to have two more disciples enter his kitchen. That man loved to show off his talent in the kitchen to anyone willing to give him even the smallest compliment.
Tensions in the city had quietened for the last week. The sounds of shelling had ceased temporarily. The citizens of Paris made use of this time of quiet and safety to clear away much of the debris around the city. Burials were hastily completed as no one knew how long this cease fire would last.
The Paris Opera House was like a small city separated from the surrounding larger city of Paris. There was minor damage which was quickly repaired. The children's party had been a success as was the dance for the older children. Every seat was sold out for the performance taking place the next night which was Christmas Eve.
Ariella had gone to dress in Antoinette's rooms. Meg came to assist her as well as needing help with her own costume. The children were spending the night with Mirielle. Antoinette would be attending the masked ball. No one knew what Erik's costume was. Antoinette had assured Ariella he would be there. He had not missed a masked ball at the opera house in all the years he had been living beneath its hallowed halls. In his first years he had only watched. Later he had discovered that his mask leant him anonymity on this one night.
Meg and Ariella were almost ready to step out of the bedroom into Antoinette's living room when without ceremony the door opened. Antoinette had a confusing array of emotions on her face. Shock, annoyance, a bit of pleasure, then fear overtook all other emotions. She slammed the door shut leaning against the closed door heavily.
Meg paused in mid stroke of the powder puff at her cheek to ask in a concerned voice, "Maman what has happened? You look quite upset. Nothing has happened to the children or someone in the opera?"
"No, no. Much worse." She wrung her hands together nervously. What was she going to do? She had no time to warn Erik. She had not a moment of warning herself. As far as she knew Christine and Raoul would not be attending the ball. They were not supposed to be in the city until tomorrow. Now they show up deciding it would not be proper to allow the ball to go on without some representative of the de Chagny family present. Curse Raoul's good manners to hell was Antoinette's frustrated thought. Meg raised a brow in question saying, "Worse? What could be worse? Oh my God! They have decided to close the opera house. We are prisoners. They are going to occupy the opera house."
"Meg get a hold of yourself. The opera house is still allowed to function without hindrance. No one has made us prisoners. At least not yet. I cannot say anything about the rest of the city but we are still free to perform. The disaster I speak of is Christine and Raoul. I cannot believe they are so foolish to come to the city without making arrangements. What if I could not take them in? What if the soldiers had stormed the opera house deciding to take over that as well as all who reside here? Such foolish chances. They did arrive safely and were not accosted by any soldiers. Now we only have to worry about Erik."
As she spoke Antoinette had been making her way further into the room. Now standing between the other two women they all sighed then sat down heavily on the bed. Their faces held similar looks of fear and worry.
"Maman perhaps Erik won't see them? If he does he may not care. He would after all be seeing them Christmas day in any case. He has had two whole years to recover. Do you think he still wants her?" Meg bit her lip chewing in concentration. Meg thought he had other interests of late but with the Opera Ghost who could say for certain?
Casting a quick look in Ariella's direction Antoinette sighed. She had such hopes for tonight. All the manoeuvring she had made to give Ariella and Erik time to enjoy the evening then later send them home alone may have been unnecessary if he could not resist trying all evening to speak with Christine. It was not proper or circumspect for Erik and Ariella to be completely alone but desperate times demanded desperate measures. Antoinette had hoped nature would take its course.
Christine had said nothing about coming to the ball last week when Antoinette had visited her. She had been somewhat distracted. That was nothing unusual for Christine. She lived half her life in daydreams. At times Antoinette thought her to be a bit fey. Not in an insane way. She just lived with fairy tale ideas. She rarely saw life as it was. Perhaps that is why it had been so easy for Erik to make her believe him to be The Angel of Music for so long.
"Well there really isn't anything to be done now. I suppose I should go back out. It is rude to abandon them like this. I told them I had to check on your costumes. That wasn't an outright lie. I did want to see that everything was as it should be. You both look wonderful. You both shall be belles of the ball. I shall be keeping my eye on you Meg," Antoinette warned.
"I expected nothing less. Which is why I planned to have three other girls wear the same costume." Meg was only slightly joking. She had considered just such a plan. In the end she had made an agreement with two other girls. They would switch costumes throughout the evening. This would allow each of them an opportunity to escape the watchful eyes of their mothers.
With a last look of warning Antoinette returned to the living room where she had left Raoul and Christine sitting on the couch. They were sitting close together. It was obvious they had just shared a kiss. Antoinette was glad they still acted as young lovers. She had feared that Christine had chosen Raoul simply because he was the easier man to understand. It would take a woman with a strong character to live with and love Erik as he deserved. Christine was not that person.
Raoul stood when he saw Antoinette enter the room. It was hard for him to think of her in this manner. She always seemed so stern and distant. Christine said it was because she had been responsible for so many. She had to be firm or they would have become too unruly to manage. Some were less than proper in any case.
"Madame...uh... Antoinette it is so good to see you once again. We were glad to hear the opera house was left to continue to bring joy to everyone. I am aware this is due to the continued support and shall we say guidance of him? I know he has been here all this time. I shall never be able to fully trust him but for the sake of Christine I am willing to spend time in his company. She has of course missed him. It is only natural. I don't think I will feel comfortable for them to be alone but Christine has assured me that everything will be fine. I ask if I may have your reassurance as well?" Raoul looked expectantly at the woman standing before him looking steadily into his eyes. That was one trait he admired about Antoinette. She always looked you straight in the eye. There was never any subterfuge in her direct look.
"Raoul, you more than anyone should know that no one controls Erik. He will do as he wishes. He has given me his word that he will create no disturbances. That is as far as he was willing to concede. Anything more he seemed unwilling to give his promise. It is understood he will want to see Christine. Are you prepared for that?" Antoinette looked at Raoul. She saw a young man in front of her, an honest and open man. There would be no trickery on anyone's part this evening. No gendarmes coming to arrest Erik. With a slight nod of her head and a wave of her hand she motioned for him to return to his seat.
Shyly Christine asked, "Madame, who is Erik? Is that his name? My teacher, my Angel has a name?"
In exasperation Antoinette said, "Of course he has a name. At least a first name. He could never remember his last name. Or preferred not to. Erik is his name. I had forgotten you had never known him as anything other than your Angel of Music. Christine I have always wanted to ask but thought it better to refrain from questioning you at the time. Did it never occur to you as you grew older that he was a man? Surely in later years you left those foolish notions behind?"
Not wanting Madame to think her childish or ignorant Christine wished she could lie convincingly. She had never been able to lie convincingly, especially to Madame. One stern look and Christine caved. Soon she saw the wisdom of simply being truthful. It saved a lot of nervous tension. On her part at least. With reluctant truth she said, "I have always thought of him as my angel. I suppose I was unwilling to let go of my childish belief in what my father had promised me. Was it wrong of me to force him to stay in that roll? I never meant to hurt him. I loved him. I still love him. Not in the same way I do Raoul but it is love. Raoul understands. He may not like it but he does understand." As she spoke she reached for Raoul's hand. She squeezed his hand to reassure him. It also gave her reassurance as well. She could not say all that was in her heart. Her love for her angel was more than she led Raoul to believe. Only to herself did she allow her true feelings to be known. It would do no one any good to know how much she had missed him. Missed his voice, his touch, his very presence.
All of her longing for him she kept hidden. It was her personal burden to carry for leaving her Angel of Music alone and in danger of being killed by the mob of theatre patrons and police storming his home that night. As Raoul had rowed her to safety she had worried about him. She had wanted to ask Raoul to return to Erik. The exhaustion in Raoul's face had locked her words behind her tightly closed lips. He had risked his life for her. He had faced death from many traps then finally at her Angel's own hands. She still could not think of Erik as anything other than her Angel. To her he would always seem to be a little otherworldly. His voice had always seemed so pure and untainted. Angelic.
The ballroom was filled with eager guests. A few obvious foreigners, Germans. A close eye was kept on everyone attending this event as was the case of any large gathering. It was mostly for show. Those who had been paid to turn blind eyes did not examine too closely. There were no questions asked as to where all the food and drink had been obtained. Anyone expressing undue interest was quickly distracted by an attractive little chorus girl or ballerina.
Ariella stood watching as everyone entered. The costumes were fascinating. So many bright colors. Sequins sparkled on most of the gowns. There were so many different masks and costumes it would be hard to recognize anyone. She supposed that is why Erik had said this was his one night he could be assured of anonymity. She couldn't see him anywhere. At least she didn't think so. She had briefly spoken to Meg after arriving. Meg had left stating she would see her sometime during the evening. She wanted to see if she could spot "you know who".
Ariella had continued to look for him as well. She had no luck so far. She had been glad to learn that Christine and Raoul were staying in his parent's apartment in the city. They would not be staying in the opera house.
A hand on her shoulder drew her glance over her shoulder. Her indrawn breath momentarily locked in her chest. Good Lord did the man not know he would have the women panting after him? If his plan had been to be inconspicuous he had failed miserably.
He wore a black mask. It covered the top half of his face. All that showed were his enchanting green eyes, luscious lips, strong masculine chin and jaw. Her eyes trailed down over the snug fitting black jacket over the white ruffled shirt. His cummerbund was red in contrast. The black trousers snugly followed each leg in loving detail. Each muscle was outlined in soft black fabric. He wore no gloves so his hands were exposed. Those strong musician's hands women longed to have stroking along soft skin. Those long tapering fingers could bring the most exquisite notes from any instrument. What they could do to a woman's body was most definitely a sin. Meg and Ariella had both speculated in great detail about how it would feel to have Erik touching certain parts of their body and doing "Things" to them with his wonderful fingers and hands. They dare not mentions where they wished his lips to kiss them.
"Erik." His name softly spoken barely reached his ears. He was uncertain if it were a question or simply a statement.
"Ariella you look enchanting. If I may be so bold may I have this first dance as I am sure you will be much too busy fending off suitors later?" He had meant his words to be teasing. They soured on his tongue as they left his mouth. He did not relish the idea of anyone dancing with her. He should be the one to hold her during each dance. It had been the reason he had come early. Any other time he attended a ball he did not arrive until much later. He had never cared to have his face rubbed in the fact that he was attending alone or to be reminded he would leave alone.
Ariella had borrowed a costume from the opera house. Many of the less affluent employees did the same. It was a common practice. Meg had worn a pink fairy costume. Ariella had chosen to create her own from bits and pieces from many different costumes. She had decided to be a siren of the sea. Her gown was a light green color. The sleeves were transparent. They billowed around as she moved her arms seeming to float as one would imagine they would if in water. She had left her hair down. Small white flowers with green leaves were pinned throughout her hair. Her mask was a swirl of pastel green and white. A combination of green and white feathers had been glued at the side.
She looked lovely. More enticing than she thought she possibly could. She looked more like a sea nymph than a siren. Her eyes though were pure siren calls. One look into those blue depths and a man could be forgiven for his thoughts. She was pure enchantment. Erik himself felt lost in her eyes. He had no wish to be rescued. He would be willing to be lost in her forever.
They had been circling the dance floor when Erik saw her. It could be no other. She wore the same costume she had worn the night of the gala when he had delivered his opera. That boy stood beside her with his arm around her waist. His only concession to a costume was his mask.
Erik's feet stopped moving mid step. His eyes were locked on Christine. All others seemed to fade away. They were alone. He released Ariella. Without a word his feet started to move in Christine's direction. Closer he came with each step. Soon he was just a few feet from her. Her head turned in his direction. Their eyes seemed to lock. Christine turned to Raoul to whisper something in his ear. With a reluctant nod in answer Christine moved away from her husband toward her former teacher. Her Angel of Music. Erik.
The only eyes watching this unknown reunion were those involved in the drama. Antoinette crossed her fingers sending a prayer heavenward. Meg looked on in disappointment with her hands on her hips. Ariella stood mesmerized by the couple approaching each other. Her heart sank. Christine was beautiful. She was certain she was Christine. She could be no one else. Erik would not be so entranced by anyone other than Christine. As they finally stood within touching distance Ariella could see how perfect they looked together. Both had the power to draw all eyes by the sheer beauty they displayed as they stood gazing at one another.
Erik extended his hand. Without thought or question Christine placed her hand in his. Their feet began to move in unison. Raoul and Ariella stood rooted to their respected places in the ballroom as dancers and mingling couples walked around the two transfixed people. They had eyes for one couple only.
No wonder Erik could not forget her. She was exquisite. As much as it pained Ariella to admit it she had to be truthful with herself. She could not even begin to compare to Christine. Her mirror would not let her lie to herself. She was pretty. Christine was breathtakingly beautiful.
Noticing poor Raoul standing alone looking at the couple with jealous intent she began to make her way to him. She could sympathize with him. Her own jealousy had her wanting to pull those long dark strands of silky hair out of Christine's head by the roots. She had no formal commitment to Erik. Raoul on the other hand was watching as another man ate his wife with his eyes.
Having reached Raoul she spoke a little louder than necessary to garner his attention, "You must be Raoul. My name is Ariella. I am Madame Giry's assistant. I hope I am not being forward. I thought you could use some company under the circumstances." He briefly turned to acknowledge her. Just as his focus returned to Christine and Erik the couple disappeared through a pair of double doors leading to the terrace. Raoul took a step in that direction. A feminine hand on his upper arm stopped him. His eyes returned to the woman at his side.
"Raoul please don't. Let them have this moment." Ariella could hardly believe she had spoken those words. Her instinct had been to follow the couple as well. Common sense had held her back. "Isn't it better for them to settle this once and for all? He won't steal her away or force her to do anything. They need to talk to resolve any lingering issues. Let's dance and get acquainted."
Raoul looked at her outstretched hand for a moment as if he had no idea what it was or what to do with it. As his eyes perused her face they finally came to rest on hers. Those beautiful eyes held his. He was a married man and loved his wife dearly. Beyond that he was still a man. He could see a beautiful woman and still appreciate her. This woman before him was not beautiful in the accepted sense. Not like Christine. This woman's beauty was much more subtle. Once a man discovered the hidden wonders beneath he wanted to spend time digging deeper to uncover more of her treasures. With a last wistful look at the doors leading to the terrace he took Ariella's hand. A friendship began that would last for many years even if their spouses hated each other like the plague.
As they danced Ariella told Raoul about herself and her situation. Not every embarrassing detail but enough that he could come to some educated guesses on his own. He informed her that he had met the man who claimed to be her uncle. He frequented the same club he did. The man's tongue could be loosened with drink as it often was. He offered his services to see what he could learn from the man. Ariella cautioned him not to do anything dangerous. Raoul had scoffed at the idea of that milk toast man besting him.
While Ariella and Raoul were getting acquainted the two on the terrace stood looking at each other reliving their past in those first moments. Neither could speak at first. Erik's heart threatened to beat a tattoo clean out of his chest. Christine's raced with remembered desire as he held her that last night. She well remembered the temptation to tell him about the plan. Needlessly she found out later. He had been all too aware of their plan. Her lips tingled again as they always did when she thought of those two kisses she had given him. How her heart had beat in an uneven rhythm. It had been on the tip of her tongue to tell him she would stay with him. At the last moment he had told her to go. Reluctantly she had. In those moments she had wanted to be with him. Whether or not she could have withstood living below with him she could not say with certainty. She would have tried if it meant being with him. In the end he had released both of them when he made her leave with Raoul.
"Angel, Erik. It seems strange to think of you as Erik. Madame told us that was your name. Why in all the years we were together did you not tell me your name?" Her gaze was fixed on him in adoration.
"Why in all those years did it not occur to you to ask? I had suspected you had begun to realize I was a man and not your Angel of Music. You knew with certainty when I brought you below. Still you did not inquire. Did you care for me at all Christine? Did I delude myself all those years? Was it my own lustful imaginings?" His voice held a pleading quality. One she could not ignore. Nor could she in all honesty say she did not hold certain feelings of a lustful nature of her own. Not that she could or ever would tell him that. She could however let him know she had found him attractive and did love him. She also had a request of him. One he may find strange or even hard to fulfil.
Passionately she exclaimed, "I did have feelings for you. I still do. I felt more for you when we kissed than I should have. Your face was never an issue with me. At least not after the first time I saw it. It was a shock but not anything beyond acceptance. I knew you on the inside. I knew the person you longed to be. All those years you made being here without my father bearable."
"You did the same for me Christine. Tell me now. I'll never bother you again if you can swear to me that you love him wholly and completely. Without reservations. Without regrets."
"That is one of the reasons I wished to speak privately with you. I do love Raoul. If I were never to see you again I could be happy with him but I would always wonder "what if". When we kissed I did feel something. Something I have not been able to erase from my mind altogether. It has left me wondering far too often if perhaps I made a mistake. I would like to make a request. I will understand if you don't feel you can agree. Will you grant me one thing?"
"Anything Angel. Anything at all. You have only to ask and the world is yours."
"Well it is nothing so grand as the world. What I want, what I need to know is if I will still feel what I felt before if you kissed me again. This time no one will be watching. It will be just you and I. Will you grant me this, Erik? Please?"
Of all the things he had thought she might ask that had not even been in the top one hundred on the list. She wanted him to kiss her? Now with her husband in the room just inside those doors? The man he had almost killed for her? Could he kiss her and not drag her off into the darkness? Could he stand to let her go again if he did? She asked too much of him. He was a man not a saint. Even as he thought these negative things his lips met hers.
His arms went around her waist. Stretching up she wrapped her arms around his neck. Ariella had not had to tip toe to reach his lips. She merely had to stretch her arms up and embrace him. Thinking of Ariella cooled any ardour he might have felt. God! He had left her in the middle of the dance floor in mid step. Without a backward glance he had abandoned her. If she ever spoke to him again it would be only to tell him to take a flying leap off a high cliff. While his ardour was well and truly squashed Christine's it seemed had just blossomed. She groaned in her throat. She opened her lips seeking his tongue with her own. He moved his hands from her waist to grasp her upper arms trying to pull them from around his neck. She whispered against his lips, "Oh Erik please don't stop. Please." She took his hand and placed it on her breast. He jerked his hand back as if he grabbed a heated poker.
He pushed her back. Looking into her eyes he could only wonder at the strange sense of humour God had. At one time he would have killed for one kiss from her. He had already done so for far less. Now other than the same desire any man would feel for an attractive woman he felt nothing. He did not feel that crazed lust that had taken over his mind before. He did not want to bury himself in her until he lost all sensibility. His only thought at this moment was how to explain himself to Ariella. How could he convince Ariella his madness had not returned when she had witnessed with her own eyes his complete surrender to Christine?
He at last managed to release himself from Christine. He had no wish to hurt or humiliate her. God knows he knew how that felt. He only wanted to convey to her that their time had passed. It was too late. Time could not be turned back. All they had was the here and now. In this moment he wanted Ariella. Erik wanted her to plead for him to never stop touching her, loving her. Yes. He did love her. That was never clearer than this moment when he confronted his feelings for Christine.
He not only wanted to share passion with Ariella. He wanted to share all the little things that happened in each of their lives. He wanted to have a say in how her brother and sister were raised. He wanted them all. He wanted his family. For that is what they had become. His family. His heart had never felt as light or carefree as it did in those precious moments when he gave himself completely to another. Whatever happened he would always be Ariella's. She would forever hold his heart in her hands. He had loved Christine. He still did in a way. She had been a part of his life for so long. She had filled many long lonely hours for him. When he had been with her he had not been alone in the world. She had given him that. For that he thanked Christine.
He gathered her hands in between his. He placed a kiss on each of her palms. Holding her look he said softly, "Christine I shall always be grateful for what you have given me. You gave a lonely ghost a little dignity. For all the years I had you I had more in my life than haunting the opera house as The Opera Ghost had ever given me. I do care for you."
As he paused Christine said, "I hear a but in there somewhere." She tried to joke about what she felt was coming. She had just made a colossal fool of herself. Thank God no one had come out and caught them. She had all but begged him to make love to her right here on the terrace. She was not completely sure that is not what she had meant or offered.
"As strange as it is to say this I have found someone I care for deeply. Someone who makes me want more than what I have now. It goes beyond anything musical. In fact I am not even sure she can sing a note. I don't think she plays any instrument. There is so much to learn about her. I want you to meet her. Come let us return. I can introduce you now."
He grabbed her hand beginning to pull a reluctant Christine behind him. She had no wish to meet someone Erik had feelings for. Especially not after what had taken place on the terrace. Or rather what she had wanted to take place and been denied. He seemed not to notice that she dragged her feet. He kept on pulling her behind him on through the doors.
Coming to a stop he let his eyes travel over the mass of people milling around. Where was she? Had she gone to Antoinette's after he had abandoned her? Was she sitting in a room alone? Before any more questions could enter his head Christine drew his attention with a question of her own. She sounded none too pleased. "Who is that with Raoul? I don't think I have met her before. He seems to know her quite well if the way they are laughing together is any indication."
Erik allowed his eyes to wander in the direction she pointed. His eyes widened in surprise then just as quickly narrowed in anger. Damn that boy. Could he not find a woman of his own? Why must he have every woman I want? All these women and he finds Ariella. That boy may end up with my Punjab lasso around his heck yet. Erik continued to send invisible daggers into Raoul's chest. When Ariella laughed out loud he could stand it no longer. Pushing anyone who stood in his way aside Erik cleared a path to the laughing couple. Erik arrived just in time to hear the end of the comment that Ariella found so hilarious.
"Then with a mighty swing of my sword I charged on only to end up face down in the mud. It was most humiliating at the age of eight. I had been trying to impress a young lady who came to visit us along with her family."
"Oh Raoul I can just picture you cutting your mother's flowers then presenting them to that young lady. Even when you ended up in the mud I'll bet she was still impressed with the flowers. Did your mother ever forgive you?"
"It took many hours working in that damn garden but in the end I received her pardon. She felt sorry for my heartbreak when the young woman left. I seem to remember moping for days. Unfortunately for me I had overheard a young man telling our stable boy that he was going to become a monk because his love had left him for another. I heard them discussing it and thought it a wonderful way to impress Henrietta that I was the one for her. There was after all only ten years between us. I heard the boy say he would be cutting his hair. I went in and cut my hair. For months my mother made me wear a hat. Not long after sacrificing my hair I learned Henrietta married the gardener's son."
"How sweet you must have been. I'll bet you had the young girls lined up at every dance." Just as she finished speaking she noticed the other couple. No need to ask how they had spent their time. The evidence was smeared across Erik's lips. Not wanting Raoul to notice anything she stepped up to Erik. On the pretext of giving him a kiss on the cheek she whispered in his ear, "If I were you I would wipe the evidence from my mouth before joining us unless you have begun to wear pink lip color." She took her own handkerchief from her waistband. She wiped his lips before turning back to Raoul.
She put her hand on Raoul's upper arm while her eyes looked at Christine and Erik then said, "You must be Christine. Raoul has told me about you. We did not have a chance to be introduced. My name is Ariella. I am Madame Giry's assistant."
"Since when did Madame need an assistant? I am surprised to see you here. I mean do you not feel a little uncomfortable among all these people when you are only the hired help? I know as a dancer and singer we were required to attend when I was at the opera house." Ariella did not miss the look Christine shot in Erik's direction. She wanted him to acknowledge he remembered those days also. He did not look in her direction or even appear to hear. Whether this was to throw off suspicion Ariella could not tell.
"Christine!" Raoul scolded. "Ariella is much more than the hired help. She is a friend of Meg's as well as Antoinette's." Turning toward Ariella Raoul began to apologize. "I am so sorry. Christine is unaware of how close you are to the Girys. She did not mean to offend. I am sure she was just curious about you."
As an explanation for Christie's rudeness it fell short.
All the while Erik had looked on in silence. He noticed Raoul kept his back to him shutting Erik out of the group. He was way too trusting. If Erik had his Punjab lasso Raoul would be struggling to breathe about now. His eyes went from Ariella's face to the hand she continued to leave on Raoul's arm. Damned if Erik's arm didn't feel bereft without that hand on his own arm. He longed to drag her away then wrap both of her arms around him as he did the same to her.
Christine was not pleased to find Raoul with another woman. Not one this attractive anyway. Not one who seemed to hold his interest as well as his admiration. She was used to having Raoul's undivided attention. While being jealous of the attention he paid Ariella she conveniently forgot how she had spent the previous half hour with another man. One who had at one time professed to love her beyond anything else. One who had committed the ultimate sin of taking a life to obtain her love. Her concern was that Raoul might find another woman attractive.
"Raoul I suppose you know Erik. Remember I told you my brother, sister and I were staying with someone nearby? Well we are saying with Erik He has the most beautiful home. It is truly amazing. He built everything himself. The furniture and the house. You must see it sometime. I am sure you would be impressed. He really is a remarkable man." The more Ariella spoke the more she realized she didn't care what had happened out on that terrace. Well that was not completely the truth. She cared it just did not change how she felt. She cared enough not to let one incident interfere in her relationship with Erik. She would give him an opportunity to tell her himself what happened. Even if she had to use unfair tactics.
Stepping away from Raoul she went to stand in front of Erik. The other people didn't matter. She took Erik's hands. She noticed he swallowed with difficulty. Good. He was nervous. She forgave him his transgression whatever it was. She just didn't want it to seem too easy for him. A woman had her pride after all.
"I'm ready to go home. Will you come with me? You can stay if you wish. I can find my way home." At the word home coming form her lips nothing short of an act of God could have prevented Erik from leaving with her. Nothing else mattered in this moment. Not Christine. Not Raoul. There was only Erik and Ariella.
He did not give her a verbal answer. His eyes and the grip on her hand gave her the answer she wanted. Raoul looked from one to the other. From the look of them there was more than just friendship or a mere acquaintance.
Beginning to walk away Ariella turned back to voice her goodnight to the remaining couple. "Raoul, Christine it was so nice to meet you. I suppose we won't meet again until Christmas morning. Hope you enjoy the rest of the evening."
Still clasping Erik's hand they began to cross the room. Meg waylaid them with a breathless voice, "Ariella thank goodness I finally found you.. I lost sight of you after about the third dance you had with Raoul. So how did you like him? Good huh? Not as good as "you know who" but in a pinch he'll do. So who is this?"
Noticing their joined hands Meg looked from one to the other. A slow smile crossed her mouth. She began to back away as she spoke, "Well I won't keep you. Give him one for me will you please? Tell me about yours and I'll tell you about mine. That is if I can get to the roof so I have something to tell without the hawk swooping down. Wish me luck. You already have yours."
"What was that all about?" Erik asked expectantly. He had been confused by the whole conversation. It made no sense.
"Oh nothing important to anyone other than Meg and I. So now, on our way down I want you to tell me how lip color the same shade as Christine's got smeared across your lips. This had better convince me nothing happened since I covered for you with Raoul. Which I feel guilty about. He is such a nice man. I think if circumstances had been different you would have liked each other. You both share a lot of the same admirable qualities."
Since she considered him to have admirable qualities he ignored the fact that she compared him to that fool of a boy. He wondered what qualities he could share with that aristocratic nobleman? He had never thought of himself as aristocratic or noble.
"Erik I am waiting."
They had arrived at the mirror in Christine's old dressing room. He really should speak to Antoinette about cleaning the room. It should be used. It had been a silent shrine to an undeserving old ghost for much too long. It was time to exorcise all his ghosts. Starting with the room where he kept all of the things he had bought for Christine and she had never worn nor seen.
"Promise you won't be angry with me Ariella. I couldn't bare it if you were angry with me. I'll tell you everything. Just please don't be angry." Imagining all sorts of horrid things she was reluctant to give him her promise. What had happened out there on that terrace? They hadn't been gone long enough to do anything other than kiss. At least she would imagine it took longer than twenty or so minutes. It took longer than that to undress then dress again. Of course she had heard of other ways. Damn Meg and her constant confessions of discovery. At this moment she would be glad not to know how lovers pleased each other without having to remove their clothes. Ariella could have lived long and happy without that knowledge. Not a day went by without Meg regaling Ariella with some tidbit of information. Mostly about how and where lovers got together.
Reluctantly Ariella gave her promise. He didn't speak again until they arrived at the shore. He swept her up then gently placed her in the boat. For an infinitesimal moment she thought he was going to kiss her. At the last second as his lips hovered over hers and his hot breath caressed her cheek he pulled back.
Well damn Ariella thought as she settled into the boat seat. She should have just grabbed him. It was what she wanted to do. If he had lingered one second longer she would have pulled him down into the boat with her instead of him standing poling it across the lake. Reaching the shore he stepped out into the shallow water. He pulled the boat onto the shore then tied the rope to the metal ring fastened in the rock shoreline. He straightened then held his hand out toward her. Erik helped her step out of the boat. Backing up he guided her along with their clasped hands.
Reaching the front door he opened it. He guided her to the couch. Once she was seated he began to explain. He hoped he made her understand.
"For the greater part of my life I have been alone. Nadir and Antoinette are the closest I have to any real family. For years I spent my life in a small cage entertaining people as an exhibit at a Gypsy fair. Fortunately for me Antoinette attended our show one night. That night I had received one of the worst beatings of my life. I don't know what made that night any different than any other. Perhaps it was seeing the pity in Antoinette's young eyes. She was perhaps fifteen or sixteen. I was seven at the time. That night I strangled my tormentor. Antoinette helped me escape. She brought me here. I won't go into the details of the intervening years. I will just say they were not my more stellar moments if I indeed have ever had any."
As he spoke he began to pace. He seemed to have forgotten she was there. If he had not continued she would have been convinced he had been transported somewhere else by his memories.
"I grew up here under the opera house. An opera house full of people and I felt lonely. Antoinette went away to visit a dying friend. She came back with his daughter. Christine. She was such a pitiful little thing. She cried all night. I finally could not stand listening to her. I began to sing to her. After that night she called for me. She thought I was her Angel of Music her father had spoken of in his stories. He had promised her one would visit her someday. I think he meant as her voice was so pure she would no doubt find a place on the stage. Once I heard her sing I had to teach her."
"Things went well until she began to show signs of her future beauty. As time passed I became more ensnared by her. I would have done anything for her. I to my shame even took lives for her. I would have stopped at nothing to assure her position on the stage."
"I am sure either Meg or Antoinette has regaled you with the torrid night of my opera Don Juan Triumphant. I would have killed that boy, Raoul you know. That is how sick and demented my mind had become. The love I had for her had become an evil thing. At the time I could see nothing but how we would be together. Nothing else mattered."
"The last two years have been a learning experience for me. Until recently I had thought I still loved her with all the same old obsessive love as before. Tonight I realized something. I do love her." Hearing her sharp intake of breath he hurried on. "Not as I did before. I love her for what she gave me all those years. She was my one constant companion. Without her I would have been totally alone. Antoinette had Meg and her career. Nadir did not come until about ten years ago. He has been my friend all these years but I had come to the point in my life when I wanted something more. Something other men had. I wanted a woman's love and I thought I had found it in Christine."
"Raoul came. He and Christine had known each other as children. Once he saw her again my love for her no longer mattered. She fell deeply in love with him. I became insane when she rejected me. I shall regret all those dreadful deeds I committed for as long as I live. I have asked for God's forgiveness and everyone else's. The Bible says if you ask for forgiveness it will be granted. My life has not taught me to trust in any gods but I suppose that is why they call it faith. You just must trust and have faith."
Erik stopped pacing in front of her to get down on his knees. He took her hands in his while looking with such tenderness into the blue depths of hers he then began to speak. "Now I ask you to have faith in me when I say I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life learning all the little things about you. I won't lie and say I don't want to be intimate with you. That is a deep need I hope someday to have met when you are ready. That is not all that I need from you. I need to know when I wake you will be there. When I am troubled you will share my burden as I will share yours. I want to raise your brother and sister as a father would if you will allow me that privilege."
"Someday I hope to brave the odds and have a little one of our own. Could you love a child that looked like me Ariella?" The more she listened to him the tighter her chest felt. Her heart ached for the boy Erik had been. The man he was now had won her heart. So much pain and humiliation he had suffered as a child and as a man. It broke her heart to think of him being so desperate for love.
How could Christine not have seen? Perhaps as a child it was understandable but as a young woman she would have to know there had to be more to her tutor than being an angel for God's sake. Why had Antoinette allowed it to continue? Erik was stubborn and prone to go his own way but if she had made an effort before the insanity set in things could have been different. Not that Ariella wanted Erik to be with Christine but if that would make him happy she was willing to have wished him well. Christine had her chance. Now he was hers and she damn well would not be giving him up without someone losing some hair, long strands of dark brown hair.
Overwhelmed with love she fell forward knocking him to his back. She found his lips with hers. With her lips she showed him everything she had not said with words. He would get those later. Now she wanted to taste as much of him as was possible. His shock lasted only a few seconds. He returned her kisses with feverish delight.
Soon kisses weren't enough. Eagerly they began to explore areas that had driven them both crazy speculating what lay underneath the layers. Tearing his mouth reluctantly from hers Erik panted, "We stop this now or we don't stop at all. Make your choice. I want you. You can feel how much I want you. I will stop only if you ask me to."
"Erik I want to. Really I do. I have never been with anyone. I mean never in any intimate way. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" She leaned her head against his chest with her forehead resting where she could feel his heart. Her face felt warmer than before with the heat of embarrassment. He tipped her head upward with the tip of his finger. Lightly he kissed her forehead then her lips.
"I may wish I could swallow these words tomorrow but I feel it only fair you should know what kind of man you get when you take me on. I have never, ever, in any other way been intimate with a woman than kissing. Twice, no, counting tonight Christine and I have kissed three times. I lost count how many times you and I kissed just now. I wasn't precisely interested in counting either. I know..."things". I know how things work. I have just never had any opportunity to use my knowledge. If you are frightened we can do other..."things". There are other ways. Whatever you decide I will accept."
"Well I know ..."things" as well. Meg is a never-ending source of knowledge in this area." Thinking he might misunderstand she quickly stated, "Not from personal experience. She may talk brave but she has not used anything she has learned. At least I don't think so. She listens to the stagehands. I think she is correct when she asks her mother if you are her love child. She has a tendency to snoop as you do."
"I want to try some "things". I just don't know how to go about it. I don't want to disappoint you." She put her hand to his face in a tender caress.
"Oh my love. How could you ever disappoint me? We will learn together how to please each other. If I do anything you don't like please tell me. If I am lucky and find something that pleases you tell me that as well. I don't think there is anything I wouldn't like for you to do to me short of tying me up and torturing me. Well even that sounds intriguing.
So, should we head to the bedroom or do we grab a couple of books and sit by the fire?" In his mind he was trying to will her to invite him to share that bed with her. Even if in the end all he got for all his anticipation was a few kisses and innocent caresses. To wake up beside someone other than an animal had been a dream of his for such a long time.
Pushing away from him she climbed to her feet. Bending down she held both hands out to him in invitation. Eagerly he took her hands. She led him up those steps then down the hall. Holding his breath while they paused for a moment at the door he closed his eyes and prayed. He heard the door click open. She pulled him through the door closing it with a soft click. The only sounds coming from that room until early morning was the groans and sighs of shared pleasure.
Even though the last barrier had not been breached they enjoyed every touch, every caress. They soared higher than either could imagine. Ariella thought that if what they had shared last night was only a glimpse of what awaited them they would die from the intensity when they finally came together as one.
Awaking sometime in the early morning Ariella smiled and stretched. Her cheek was nestled snugly on his chest. Her hand caressed him. Under all his clothing he was quite an impressive man. She could only hazard a guess but in her estimation he looked better than any man she knew. He was better than any statue she had ever seen. To put it quite simply he was perfect.
She blushed when she recalled how she had behaved with wanton abandon. He had not objected. He had been just as bad or depending on your perspective just as good. She ran her finger along his lips. Remembering how those lips had given her so much pleasure during the long night lit a flame in her. She ran her hand over his chest down to his stomach then down further. In an instant his hand wrapped around her wrist.
In the dim light from the low burning of a single candle she saw his smile. She could not see clearly but the little bit of light cast shadowy light across the bed.
"Wanton. You're asking for trouble. Perhaps you should be punished for your wanton ways." His harsh words were belied by the smile of satisfaction spreading across his lips. He had almost forgotten she had removed his mask in a moment when he had been gripped by such pleasure he made no protest when she took it off. Afterward he had been so relaxed and content he had fallen asleep. Each time they woke they had shared the most intense exchange of passion he could not be bothered by anything else. Now her lips were caressing his face. All of his face. For a second he felt panic. He stiffened. Feeling his distress she raised her head to look into his face.
"Is something wrong my love?" She punctuated each word with a kiss. Her hands came to rest on his cheeks. Not feeling the mask she began to understand. Holding his face between her hands she looked him in the eyes. Allowing her eyes to travel over the whole of his face she smiled. Reaching down with her lips she kissed him with a lingering press of lips. When she heard his groan in response she smiled against his mouth.
He pulled back from her stating, "Witch. You are some kind of witch. You have me under your spell. I cannot think when you kiss me. My mind only has one thought."
"Good. Then my plan is working. It is the same for me. When we make love we had better make sure everything is safe for we will be bumbling idiots if neither of us can think of anything but..."that."
Ariella giggled when he tickled her ribs. In retaliation she tickled him back. Soon those tickling fingers turned to caressing then coaxing followed swiftly by groans of need.
It was late in the day when they at last managed to make it out of bed then dressed. Ariella could only imagine what Antoinette would think or say. Meg would be trying to hunt her down to hear all the details. Ariella was unsure she wanted to share everything. She would just tell her enough to make her happy. Some things were far too personal to share.
Erik tried everything he knew to persuade her to stay with him. He had almost succeeded then her conscience got the better of her. The performance was tonight. She needed to check on the children.
"Are you quite sure you won't stay and spend the day with me? There are many..."things" we could do to occupy our time. Some..."things" from last night I wouldn't mind repeating."
"Tonight is the first performance. You know how things are on opening night. Every pair of hands is needed.
"I thought I used my hands quite satisfactorily last night. At least that is what you said at the time." The man was cocky this morning. His confidence was overflowing. That more than any pleasure he gave her filled Ariella's heart with warmth. She had given this to him. He had yet to replace the mask. He had soon forgotten his concerns. He had more important things on his mind.
His face made her want to weep. Such beauty on one side, such tragic deformity on the other. The scars on his back she had learned had been earned at the hands of that Gypsy Erik had killed. If he were alive Ariella would be tempted to hunt him down herself.
A few lingering kisses later Ariella finally left to make her way above. She had told Erik to stay put. If he escorted her, she may never make it to the auditorium today at all. His pleading almost won her capitulation. At the last moment she returned to him to take his face in her hands. Giving him one last lingering kiss she said, "What if I promise to come back early? Will that satisfy you?"
"If we're speaking of satisfaction as I see it no, but I will take what I can get. Shall we say about five?"
With that agreement she left him. If she knew all that awaited her she would not have been so determined to return to the opera house. Things would have been much safer if she had stayed underground with Erik.