Chapter 3- Wishful Thinking
You're
sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by
the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This
life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me
and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand
Three Days Grace- Pain
Bella's POV
Carlisle got up from the piano bench and stood up to answer the door. While he passed us, I reached out my hand and squeezed his arm. He smiled at me and walked to the door. I draped my hair over my face to hopefully hide my crimson eyes and granite skin. I pulled my jacket closer around me, afraid that she could see through the hanging material.
I stared at the beautiful face that looked back at me. I released my barriers for a moment to show my fear and uncertainty. He grabbed my hand and held it against his face. "It's okay," he mouthed. I nodded feebly and looked up to see our visitor.
"Angela! Come in! How are you?" Carlisle asked in a perfectly polite tone, extending out his arm to join us after shutting the door. Angela hadn't changed. She wore her hair down with jeans and a long-sleeved top. But this time, her face was pale.
Angela took one wavering step forward, then collapsed on the floor. I got up so fast that Edward almost rolled off the couch. I ran over to her and started feeling for a pulse or anything remotely to it. Blood was now leaking from her temple.
There was a great burning sensation in the back of my throat, but I chose to ignore it and keep searching. Don't, Angela! Don't! was what I wanted to yell.
Jasper was suddenly at my side staring down at Angela's temple. I screamed in warning and shoved my body over Angela's right before he sprung. I searing pain erupted in my shoulder, but then it was gone. And so was Jasper's weight. I heard a crash and turned my head.
Jasper was lying motionless on the hardwood floor with absolute loathing in his eyes. Hovering above him was Edward with his hand constricted around his throat. "Don't you dare touch her!" yelled Edward. I slowly got up from where I fell and walked to Edward's side. I gently touched his arm that was holding Jasper and whispered into his ear, "It's alright. I'm fine. Let him go."
He cast a sideways glance then grudgingly shoved Jasper back into the wall and stalked past him up the staircase. Jasper got up and brushed the dust off of his shirt. He looked at me quickly and I saw ravenous eyes. He looked at Angela and then walked towards the kitchen. I sighed heavily and walked towards the front door where Angela lay. Alice touched my arm as I looked down at Angela's face. Alice walked past me towards the kitchen where Jasper was. Carlisle was there now, taking out metal instruments and poking and prodding her with. After a few minutes, I couldn't watch anymore and I walked out the front door.
Ben's car was no longer there, so I continued down the dirt path. I opened my shielded barriers for a few moments to have a one-sided conversation with Edward. I'll be at the cottage or somewhere. Love you, was what I said. I started running and enjoyed the spontaneous rush of wind through my hair. I jumped over the gargantuan river and kept on running. I stopped when I saw the cottage emerging from the trees. I walked up the cobblestone path way that led up to the door. On the front porch laid an envelope with many postal marks and stamps on it. Who would find our house? I wondered. I picked it up and dropped it after reading the spot where the return address should be. Instead, it read "We know".
I gathered myself again and picked it up after a few seconds of staring at it. I went inside and laid on the couch and curled myself into a ball. I was in shock. I grabbed the remote and turned the TV on just to hear voices to know that I was not alone. I watched the screen blankly and barely listened to the droning of a thin woman who claimed to lose fifty pounds in a month after using a dieting program.
I got up after a few TV shows and walked into Renesmee's room. A few plush toys sat on the still surface of her bed. A few pictures hung from the walls that contained Edward and me or the family. One even had a picture of Renee and Charlie in it. I turned my head to the right towards the dresser. A few books laid on top and a jewelry box. That was what I was looking for.
I opened it slowly, like I was expecting an animal to spring out of it. A large diamond necklace laid near the bottom surrounded by beaded bracelets and rings. I picked up the shiny chain and examined the rather large diamond that hung from it. I almost grabbed it and squashed it into fine dust, but instead I placed it in my jacket's pocket and walked down the hallway to our room.
I sat down on the bed and picked up the ipod that laid on the nightstand. I held the center button and waited for it to turn on. When it loaded, I moved the cursor down to shuffle and waited for the random song to play.
A faint drumming penetrated the silence. A loud voice then began to scream: "Every time we lie awake, after every hit we take. Every feeling that I get, but I haven't missed you yet. Every roommate kept awake by every sigh and scream we make. All the feelings that I get, but I still don't miss you yet."
How true, I thought. I let myself absorb the music until we ultimately flowed as one. I closed my eyes and laid down. I kept replaying it until I sang all the words to myself quietly and nodded my head to the beat.
I opened my eyes about the tenth time playing it. I let it go to another song, putting it lower so it was only background music. I walked over to the closet and stepped inside. I found the full-length mirror and I took my jacket off to see a large tear in it. I turned around to see my back. A large bite was visible on my back with a few scratches. I winced as my finger traced the outline of the bite. I hung my ripped jacket up and changed my shirt with a few blood spots from Angela.
It was replaced with a gray dress with a black overcoat. I buttoned it up and brushed my hair decently. I walked downstairs and picked up the letter.
The TV was still blasting, but I didn't bother turning it off. I put the ipod in my pocket and went out the door with it still playing. But this time it rang: "Even if I say it will be alright, still I hear you say you want to end your life. Now and again we try just to stay alive. Maybe we'll turn it around because it's not too late, it's never too late."
A/N: So, you know the drill please rate and review. I'm totally serious guys, if I do not get at least 10 reviews by the next chapter, I might discontinue this. Seriously. So if you guys like it, review!
-Daisy