AN: I seem to be giving you guys shorter chapters, but they're updated faster aren't they? And they're cut like this because it's easier to start the next chapter from these parts than spend time working on a chapter that's twenty some-odd pages long and get stuck when it comes time to begin the next twenty-some-odd pages. I have reached over Ninty pages on my word doc using size eight print. I'm proud. This is by far the longest story I've ever written, the second longest is my Hills have eyes story, sad isn't it? lol

Also, I added two quotes from my favorite poets, because Stillgold got me going on poets. I'm a fan of many, Poe, Frost, and Yeats, those are the big three for me. I'm also thinking of adding a little something to my profile, which will by poems that fit each character of the wonderland crew, I might do it, I might not. Anyway. I added a quote from Frost (you'll spot it,) and Poe, both given to White. Cookie to whoever can spot them and name the poe they come from! Muhahaha.

So, enjoy, have fun, and I'm still looking for a Beta, but I doubt anyone wants to take on this monster story, specially with how horrible I am when I try and give myself a deadline. I write, finish, edit, and post. All on my own time-table.

So, review please, it's always nice to know I'm doing a good job with the characters. That's what's so great with Alice though, the characters are just crazy enough that any personailty will suit them. Playful, mad, insane, crazy... wait insane and crazy are the same thing. Blah.

You get the idea.

So good read and stop reading this overly long and annoying authoress note.

Hearts

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Chapter Nine

Alice blinked a couple times and finally looked at Hare with an expression of absolute horror. "What…" she started, faltered, looked back at Hearts, looked back at Hare, and sat on the arm of the closest chair.

Hare forced a tight smile, "I'd love to explain it all to you, but Cheshire is being prepped and we both know that our dear Hatter may be tempted to add some extras to him." he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "Play nice." He added to Hearts as he left the room.

"Have you made them all fall in love with you?" Hearts snipped, taking a sip of tea from the dainty little cup that had been sitting on the round knee high table that was in the middle of the group of chairs. The cup was decorated with tiny red roses, it suited the former queen.

Alice huffed and finally sat down properly in the chair. "Not yet, still working on it." she snapped back. For some reason her mood towards Hearts just wasn't as well as it should have been. The woman may have been put through hell the last seven and a half years, but that didn't mean that Alice had to forgive her just yet.

"Watch it," Hearts warned, setting the cup down again. The rim of it was stained with her red lipstick.

Alice studied the woman. She had obviously washed herself up, and she looked almost like she had the first time Alice had set eyes on her all those years ago. Her skin was pale but still leathery, her eyes sparkled but still looked tired. She'd done her face up in make-up, and it did make her look younger, but her age was showing.

"Whatever," Alice shrugged and looked at the table. Food was set out and it was obvious that it had been made by Hare at some point during the day. She wondered if this was the reason Hare had been wearing his apron. For a moment she thought about eating and then realized that her stomach felt like it was tied up in knots. No… eating would be a very bad idea right now. Instead, she turned to look at Hearts again. "Why are you here?" she finally asked.

"Hatter and I go back a long time," Hearts said softly, she lowered her eyes as if thinking about something. "A very long time."

"I can only imagine," Alice muttered.

The two sat in the thick silence for a while, finally Hearts lifted her head and sighed, "I've been wanting to talk to you." She admitted, "There's some things I think you should know."

Alice cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, "and what would that be?" she asked.

"The history of what went on before you arrived, the reason wonderland abandoned me and everyone was weary of your arrival. If you haven't forgotten, all of the Wonderlanders tried to get you to leave, to make you feel as unwelcome in our world as possible," Hearts smiled, "obviously you didn't take the hint."

Alice smiled, "I never was very good with hint taking." For some strange reason, Hearts, when she was like this, reminded Alice of someone. Though the name was unknown.

"As you should well know," Hearts began, "I was Queen over Wonderland when you arrived. Wonderland was already trying to get rid of me…" a distant look crossed her face. "The reason for it goes back a ways, to my younger, teenage, years. I was traveling to the outer isles, the isle of Waste to be precise. It was there, in that god forsaken land, that I met my downfall.
"He was the heir to the throne, a handsome young man with the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. I realized at once that he was my Truth, but at that time the idea of a Queen taking a Truth was unheard of. My… friend told me that I would lose many of my friends' trust if I took this young prince as my own… but I didn't heed him. The prince and I… we both felt the same about each other, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, felt it in my heart. There was finally someone in wonderland who loved me for me…" Hearts trailed off for a moment. "I should have known better but love is a blinding thing. He asked me to change him… I did."

Alice suddenly realized that this was the same story she'd heard before, the reason why the isle of waste had waged war with wonderland.

"We both fled the isle and his father's wrath, but his father soon waged war against wonderland. Many of the peoples' who had entrusted their lives to me died during those years. Finally we won the battle and the King had no choice but to retreat and sulk alone on his island throne.
"I'd like to say that my prince and I were happy together… perhaps we were for a time, but I had already lost the trust of many, and many were calling for me to step down as queen. I knew the only way for me to keep my place on the throne… and to keep his love, was to be cruel. After that day I stopped letting my powers cut both ways, I changed my peoples' to please myself and only myself. I knew in that instant that I had finally lost the battle I'd fought for many years, I'd become the person I didn't want to be."
Hearts lowered her eyes, tears dripped down the crevasses in her cheeks. "My prince and I… we tried to be happy together, we tried to make our relationship work because that was what Truths do. I… I began to feel ill and finally had to call a nurse to aid me. I was pregnant. The pregnancy was horrid and I would never choose to do it again, my body couldn't even handle carrying it to the end, I was hardly far enough along when I went into labor." She looked at Alice sharply. "You're a child, but someday you'll have children and you'll understand the guilt that one goes through when one can't even protect their own children. When their body fails them."

Alice flinched, "My sister… she went through something like that, so I kind of know what you're talking about." That was what she almost said, but instead she stayed quiet as a mouse. This was a story she didn't want to miss.

"I gave birth to my twins… they were so unbelievably tiny… the nurse informed me that they'd probably die before the night was through. It was one of many times that I regretted being in wonderland, if I'd been in my own world… there were doctors who could have helped. But I was here, trapped in this world." Hearts wiped her tears away. "I don't know what my Prince did, but he made some deals with the gnomes, and before I knew it the best doctors were treating my children. They survived one night after the other. But part of the deal was that they would go and be raised by the gnomes. I've never seen my children Alice, I've never heard their names, I've never seen their faces… do you know how painful that is? How many nights I wake up and wonder about them?" Hearts snorted, "Of course you don't. But anyway, that was the beginning of the end. My Prince and I… our relationship was never the same, it was if he were afraid of me… he never touched me again. A few days before you arrived he simply vanished off the face of the earth, I haven't seen him since."

Alice looked at her hands, wrinkle free, unhindered by age or grief. "I'm sorry." She finally whispered. "I always thought of you as being… something else. I never stopped to ask myself what your life might have been." She looked Hearts in the eye, "I'm sorry."

Hearts gave a bitter smile. "The worst part is this, if I were to try and return home… I'd turn to dust. There is nothing left for me. My body is long dead, or it should be by now." She looked at Alice and sighed, "I know you will make a good queen, better than I could ever have been. I was a child when I took the throne, you take it as an adult. Maybe that will change history, at least I hope it does." She rose gracefully. "Goodnight."

Alice said goodnight. She sat there long after Hearts had gone to sleep, she sat curled up in the chair, legs drawn up to her chest, thinking. Thinking too deeply for this dark night.

--

Alice woke feeling stiff, achy, and foolish. She'd been offered a nice warm bed in one of the guest rooms but she'd fallen asleep in the chair. Why had she done that? Worry? Fear? A mixture of both?

With a loud, angry sigh, she lifted herself out of the chair and stumbled into the kitchen. It was obvious from her first sight that she wasn't the only one who'd slept horribly.

Hatter and Hare were both sitting at the prep table, chairs drawn around it. Hare had a tea cup in front of him and Hatter a large metal mug. Both looked tired and had large dark circles under their eyes.

Hare lifted his head when he heard Alice enter the kitchen, a smile curled over his lips. "Looks like I'm not the only one who didn't sleep." He commented softly.

Alice smiled briefly, "I managed a couple hours in the chair, but it's hardly a comfortable place."

"You didn't trust me to take care of your cat?" Hatter asked softly.

"Hatter, sometimes I don't trust standing in the same room as you." Alice said, crossing to him. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek, "and then someday I trust you as my right hand man." she whispered.

Hatter smiled slightly, though it was tired. "Thank you, and I say the same to you… though not that last bit."

Alice chuckled and sat in the only extra chair left. "How is he?" she asked.

"I want wondering when she would ask," Hare said to Hatter.

"Indeed." Was Hatter's soft reply. "I've done everything I can to give him the use of an arm. Of course it'll be very much like Dormouse's arm, he can hide the works with a long shirt and glove, but it will still be bits of metal attached to his skin. He'll never fully be the way he was before." He looked at Alice, "are you prepared for this?" he asked.

Alice hesitated, "I'll stand by him." she answered. "I know in my heart that he'd do the same for me, so how could I do anything less?"

Hatter nodded, "You'll make a great queen, and a good wife." He added snidely.

Alice flushed a deep red but ignored the comment. "When can I see him?"

"He's resting in the room next to our – Hatter's." Hare said, quickly correcting himself, but a moment too late. "He'll probably be awake around noon."

Alice nodded. She hesitated, "I heard an interesting story from Hearts last night." She commented dryly.

"Hearts is a very good story teller," Hatter said, "what did she tell you?"

"She told me about the prince and herself."

"Ah," Hare whispered. "I'd all but forgotten that one." He smiled softly.

"Is it true?"

"Depends on who you ask," Hatter said, "you may ask the king of the waste and he'll tell you that Hearts spirited his son away. You can ask Hearts and she'll tell you that they were in love. You can ask the Prince and get a cold stare." He smiled.

"The Prince?" Alice said sharply, "but Hearts said she never saw him after he left her."

"Ah, but sometimes what we seek is sometimes right in front of our faces." Hatter turned, "Hello," he greeted.

White huffed and stumbled to lean against the counter, "you say that as if commenting about the weather," he had a nasty gash on his arm.

"Blood and missing limbs are becoming the norm around here." Hatter rose and began setting healing aids out.

Alice watched. When Hatter removed White's bloodied shirt she couldn't help but notice something on his chest. A pale imprint that would have gone unnoticed on any other day. But today of all days, Alice's sleepy brain noticed a few details.

There was a pale rose over White's heart, stained with blood from his shoulder and arm.

For a moment Alice sat there, too stunned to think it through, though a quote ran wild through her mind, painting the roses red... Finally she looked at Hare, "Is white…" she trailed off.

Hare simply smiled, "Is he what?"

She gave him a hard look.

"Yes." Hare answered softly, "though he will tell you otherwise, as he tells all who ask. He is simply White Rabbit now, never who he was."

Alice looked at White a moment longer than she should have, she caught his eyes from under the mask. Confusion showed in them.

"Alright, Alice?" he questioned.

Alice forced a smile, "I'm fine, Cheshire lost an arm." she added.

White's eyes widened, "Did he? I take it he has a robotic one now?"

"Indeed." Hatter said, stepping away. "And it'll do him some good not to use orbs without checking to make sure no limbs are being held onto by certain birds of prey."

Alice snorted. "Like he meant to do it." she continued to stare at White, even after he'd pulled up a chair beside her.

"You're going to burn a hole into me, ask your question and be done with it." White finally said.

"I spoke with Hearts last night," Alice said softly.

White tensed, "Oh, and what did our former queen have to say?" he said sharply. He was still shirtless and the rose continued to draw Alice's eye.

"She told me the story of being the Prince of the waste."

"A good story." White whispered.

Alice looked at Hare who gave her a tiny nod that clearly said 'keep going!'. "I never thought of her as having children before…" she continued to stare at White.

"Many people have children," White commented dryly.

"Do you?"

White fell silent for a moment, finally he leaned back and sighed, "Alice, what are you really trying ask me?" he questioned.

"Are you the Prince?"

"No." He said softly.

"Were you him at one time?" Alice probed.

"Once upon a time and very long ago…" White whispered.

Alice closed her eyes for a moment, "do you still… love her?"

"If Cheshire broke every promise he'd ever given you… would you still love him?" he questioned.

Alice hesitated, "How did you know about…"

"A birdie told me, now answer the question."

"Yes." Alice said, "or I like to think that I'd still love him."

"The question isn't whether I still love her, it's whether she'd still love me… and forgive me." White started to push his chair away.

"Why not ask her?" Hatter questioned. He was looking at the doorway behind Alice.

Alice turned. Hearts was leaning in the doorway, her head downcast, hair falling over the withered face, when White rose and started toward her, her eyes fell on the rose mark on his chest. "Oh." Was all she could say.

White tensed and finally settled with leaning against the wall, his eyes staring at the floor.

"All these years…" Hearts whispered. "All these years and you were…" she broke down, her shoulders heaved with the tears that finally fell.

White swallowed. "I… I couldn't go back to you. I broke my promise, Rose. I needed to be near you… to help you if I could, but I knew that I could never be a part of your life again, I could never be your Prince... the one who held your love." He looked like he wanted to go to her.

"You never thought about how badly it hurt me did you?" Hearts hissed, looking up at him. "How many nights I lay there and questioned if it were something I did that drove you away from me!" she looked angry now, a burning anger that let her with tears dripping down her face.

It was a train wreck and Alice wanted to look away, this was their privet mess, she shouldn't have been sitting here, and yet she was. She wasn't moving, she was listening with rapt intent, every detail dancing in her mind.

"It was never you!" White said, sounding horrified at the idea. "I left because it was my fault you… you gave birth to our children alone." He lowered his gaze.

Hearts stayed still for a moment, "where did you get that idea?" she whispered.

White lifted his gaze, "I wasn't there, Rose, I wasn't there when you almost died!" he slammed his hands against the wall beside him. "I should have been there," there was bitterness in his voice.

"You were fighting in the war," Hatter said softly, "we all were."

White turned, "She was my wife, Hatter, I should have been by her side, not fighting for a fight I held no interest in." he looked toward Hearts again. "I have looked down the saddest city lane. I have passed the watchman on his beat and dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain…"

"Don't quote that at me…" Hearts whispered, "I stopped to call you back, I would have given my life to have you back, but you kept walking…" she laughed bitterly, "You never thought about anyone but yourself!"

White drew back as if he were struck by more than just cold words. "Rose…"

"I now say goodbye, you and I will never again be." Hearts turned to Hatter, "I bid you good day and thank you for allowing me to stay here." She looked at Alice, "Be a better queen than I was." she turned and walked out the door.

White stood there a long while. It took Alice a moment to realize that his eyes were wet, he was trembling. Finally he spoke, "So says the Raven… nevermore."

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EN: And that's all for this chapter. I'll have the next bit up soon enough!