The Italics are a poem i borrowed for this fic. its a really good one, go on youtube and look it up. Its called 'Ghost' and its by Emilie Autumn. I know i use her music for alot of my fics, but im kinda in an Emilie phase at the moment, lol. If its OOC (probably) tell me why it is. I know Light is DEFINETLY OOC but its meant to be like that because while being Kira, he's hiding all the things he's really feeling. All it takes to remind him he's human is a visit from a ghost.

Disclaimer: i dont own Death Note, or the poem Ghost.

Enjoy!!

Did you know sometimes it frightens me
when you say my name and I can't see you?

"Light." The resonant whisper from the window shocked Light out of his sleep. He sat up, and looked over at the misted glass. It had been thrown open by some unseen force that he couldn't see, but he knew exactly who it was.

Will you ever learn to materialize before you speak?
Impetuous boy, if that's what you really are.

"L, why won't you show yourself to me? You're scaring me, L!" If he had been such a person in life, L would've laughed. Instead he gently brushed a strand of Light's hair from his face, causing the boy to whirl and attempt to see him.

How many centuries since you've climbed a balcony
or do you do this every night with someone else?
You tell me that you never leave
And I am almost afraid to believe it.

"L?! L, stop it! Where are you?!" At a soft brush over his lips, Light reached straight in front of him. L revealed himself and skipped away, into the air, weightless. "Why do you haunt me so, L?" Light's whisper cracked as he fought his fear and so many other emotions that whirled at the sight of his former enemy/lover.

Why is it me you've chosen to follow?
Did you like the way I look when I am sleeping?
Was my hair more fun to tangle?
Are my dreams more entertaining?

L stopped six inches above the ground, chest to chest with Light. Light raised a trembling hand and tried to wrap his fingers in L's shirt. But his hand slipped straight through and out of his back. Light gasped, but stood his ground. He gulped. "L, why is it me you've chosen to follow? Out of so many who have wronged you, why me?"

"Because, Light-Kun, it was you who ultimately caused my" he leaned close to Light's ear, and a shiver ran up the boy's spine. "Death." There was sweet poison in L's voice, and he wrapped ghostly arms around the boy's waist.

"But, L, I love"-

"Don't start, Light-Kun." L chided. "I just like to watch you sleep, that's all." Light's eyes widened, and he strained to get away from L's grasp. For such an insubstantial being, L sure was strong.

"To be a traditional 'ghost', to haunt Light-Kun, to tangle his hair and invade his dreams, it gives me thrills I could have never experienced in life." L's lips pressed on Light's collarbone, chilling the living one to the core.

Do you laugh when I'm complaining that I'm all alone?
Where were you when I searched the sea
For a friend to talk to me?
In a year where will you be?

"Do you enjoy my pain, L? My anguish? Where were you when I needed someone to talk to? When those who I've killed appeared in my dreams? When my mind began to fall apart at the seams?"

"Because that was all too fun to watch from afar." L's teeth felt alarmingly real as he sank them into Light's shoulder, yet they were cold as ice. Light tried to grip L's waist, keep his knees from buckling beneath him, but the ghost that was gripping him as tightly as a living man could was still nothing but air when Light tried to touch him.

Is it enough for you to steal into my mind
Filling up my page with music written in my hand?
You know I'll take the credit for I must have made you come to me somehow.

"So- my note book - that was you?" Light managed to gasp out as his blood began to seep from the bite mark that L was deepening. L pulled away and looked him in the eyes. There should have been blood coating his lips, but there was none.

"Yes, Light-Kun. The helpful pointers about my successors, notes to tell you what people have been planning for you or against you- I saw it all, Light-Kun. And I told it to you. That is the depth of a ghosts love…"

But please try to close the curtains when you leave at night
Or I'll have to find someone to stay and warm me.

"Leave me alone, L" Light's tears began to course down his cheeks, the trails showing silver in the moonlight.

"Ah, but you don't want that, Light-Kun. You don't want that at all…" He nuzzled Lights cheek with his own icy cold one. Light gritted his teeth, trying to convince himself that no, he didn't want the ghost of his lover who he had essentially killed watching him all the time.

"Just close the curtains on your way out. Or I'll get cold all alone. I may have to find some company…" But he knew he wanted this, he knew that goading L with empty threats of a new lover was pointless, because all he could want was this ghost. And L knew it.

Will you always attend my midnight tea parties
As long as I set your place?
If one day your sugar sits untouched
Will you have gone forever?

"L" Light began, uncertain of how to tell the ghost this. "L, I- I'm sorry. For everything. For being Kira, for lying to you, for killing you…will you stay with me forever?" the addition to his apology was unexpected, even for him, but as he met L's eyes, pleading filled his own. L kissed the tear that rolled down his cheek, his icy lips lingering. Light was still unable to touch him.

"So contradictory, Light. What is it that you want? Do you want me to leave, close the curtains on my way out? Or do you want me with you?"

Would you miss me in a thousand years
When you will dry another's tears?

"I want you with me!" Light tried again to wrap his arms around L, but again it was like embracing the air. L tucked Light's disheveled hair behind his ear, almost thoughtfully.

"I will miss you when you pass on, Light. Purgatory such as this is never the same from one human to another. In a thousand years, I'll still be here, but it won't be your tears I'm wiping."

But you say you'll never leave me.

"But you said you'd never leave me!"

"I would never do so willingly."


And I wonder if you'll have the decency
To pass through my wall to the next room
While I dress for dinner?

"Are you truly always here? Even when I dress, even when I sleep? Are you always watching me?" Light was now begging, desperate, losing his mind.

But when I'm stuck in conversation
With stuffed shirts whose adoration hurts my ears,

Where are you then?

Can't you cut in when I dance with other men?

"I'm always here, Light. Even when Mikami is around, paying his unwelcome compliments and stealing his unwilling kisses, I'm always here."

"So why don't you stop him?!"

"Because to do so would reveal me, and that would tear me from this world. Away from you."

It's too late not to interfere with my life.
You've already made me a most unsuitable wife
For any man who wants to be the first his bride has slept with.

"But surely, it's too late for you not to interfere with my life." Light straightened, wiping his eyes, trying to regain his composure. The composure he kept to the people, and while he killed. 'Too late Light, I've already seen what's inside your heart', L thought. "You're already part of me, Ryuzaki! You've already ruined me for society!"

"I am sure that I have."

And you can't just fly into people's bedrooms
Then expect them to calmly wave goodbye.
You've changed the course of history
and didn't even try.

Light tried to cling to the ghost, but his hands passed through every time. "You can't choose which aspect of my life to meddle in! And now that you've flown into my window once, you can't expect me to say goodbye!" L sighed.

"Light, either you want me with you or not. Which is it?

"I…I need you, Ryuzaki. I want you in my life." L nodded, and a small smile brushed his insubstantial face. He vanished.

Where are you now?
Standing behind me,
Taking my hand…

A hand gripped Light's from behind. He gasped, spun, and L was back. "Scared without me, Light-Kun?" He grinned, kissing the boy's lips. Light tried desperately to kiss back, but he just passed through.

Come and remind me
Who you are.
Have you traveled far?
Are you made of stardust too?
Are the angels after you?

"Where have you been, L?" Light's whisper spoke every feeling he had hidden since L's death. He was 'god' of his world, and god felt nothing. But Light Yagami did. They were two beings in the same body.

"I've been here, Light. With you. I have been since you killed me, wondering if I could bring myself to forgive you. But I see deeper than your face. I see the feelings that Kira hid with you, Light. I saw the remaining humanity."

"Why can't I touch you? Are you made of- of stardust, or…something?" Light's questions were purely to make L keep talking to him, to keep L with him.

"I'm not sure. But you need to sleep, Light. You are becoming delirious, I think."


Tell me what I am to do?
But until then I'll save your side of the bed.
Just come and sing me to sleep…

"I'll always save your side of the bed, L" Light yawned, calmed by L sitting beside him as he climbed back into bed, L stroking his hair with intangible hands.

"Of course. And I will always be there to occupy it."