Chapter 05 – Facing reality
Nate River had been born to a nice mother in a small town in the middle of Taiwan. He had never known his father, nor did he know the father of his brother or sister. He'd always been quiet and had never really left his house. His mother, brother, sister, and the rest of his town had all died of a horribly contagious disease, one he happened to be immune to.
A family friend had tried to get him away from the city as it was being blown up, but he'd been taken down too. The man had given him a phone number and after figuring out how to work a phone for the first time in his life, Nate had called up L and wound up with the man who changed his life.
"Near is a good name," L had told him once, as he'd dropped him off at Wammy's. "Because you will always be near when people are saved." The name had also been the first two letters of his first name and the last two letters of his last name, mixed up a bit. It had been a good name, L was correct – it had made much more sense then any of his code names.
"Last is a code name of mine," he'd been told one night that he'd spent eating with L, just the two of them. "I think a good code name for you would be 'Next'."
He hadn't told anyone but somehow someone in the orphanage had found out and it had spread like wildfire. Kids were calling him 'Next' instead of Near for a few weeks. Eventually Mello had found out and had thrown a fit.
But that time eventually passed. Or so it did, as far as the white one could remember.
Next remembered it differently.
--
"You're the white one?" Mello asked.
Matt let out the breath he had been holding, looking back and forth between Mello and Near. He was silent for a few moments before he finally threw up his hands and exclaimed, "Are you telling me you don't remember him!?"
"No," Mello informed.
Matt gave him a desperate look before he turned to Near, defeated. "I fucked up, okay?! I didn't mean to, Near! I thought he would remember if he saw you- I didn't think it was going to turn out this way!"
"What?" Mello asked, staring at Matt with narrowed eyes. "What are you talking about, Matt?"
"I understand," Near offered with a small nod.
"You do?" Matt asked, ears perking up. "You're not mad?"
"He isn't, but I might just be when you explain what the fuck you did!" Mello yelled, grabbing the redhead's arm and shaking him lightly. "What are you talking about, 'I thought he would remember'?" His eyes widened and he glanced at Near for a few moments before finally breathing, "You are the reason I can't remember that kid from the orphanage…!"
"Oops?" Matt offered with a forced grin.
"Mail Jeevas!" Mello snapped.
"I regret ever telling you my real name," Matt hummed.
Mello grabbed hold of the front of his shirt and shook him. "What did you do!?"
"Hey!" Matt yelped, grabbing Mello's hands. "It was for your own good, Mel!"
"For my own good!?" Mello yelled. "You made me forget a part of my life and this was for my own good!?"
"Try a huge part of your life," Matt corrected. He squeaked when Mello shook him again. "Yes, it was for your own good! You can't remember it now but god Mel, you were really fucking depressed! You weren't eating or sleeping or shit like that. Man, you hadn't even showered in like a month! All you did was lay around all depressed, okay?! I had to do something or you were gonna off yourself!"
"So buy me a fucking chocolate bar, don't erase my memories!"
"A chocolate bar wasn't gonna fix heartbreak, man!" Matt protested.
"Why didn't Matt just send Mello back?" Near asked, breaking the argument and causing both the older men to look at him. Mail hummed to himself in something like amusement. "Matt knew a jumper and had mirror king powers at the time. Why didn't he just send Mello back?"
While Mello glared angrily at Matt the redhead stared at the albino blankly. After a few moments of staring stupidly he said, "Because you told me not to!"
If Near was surprised he didn't show it. However he did hum quietly, "I see…"
Matt frowned.
"Mello should let Matt go," Near said, putting a hand on Mello's shoulder. The blonde tensed up.
"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Mello demanded.
Near sighed and removed his hand. He then addressed all three of them together, "I will have three rooms made up… I'm not sure if you know this already, Mail, but King Mihael was just here- he left to try and protect Next. Sadly, he was too late. He is still on his way home and he is safe." Mail was quiet, staring at Near silently. "Although I had previously told Mihael that I refused to help him with his war I will agree to helping return Next to his home."
"Thank you," Mail said, almost robotically.
"I will have someone sent to help you out," Near informed, before he spun and walked away.
Mello looked at Matt with a frown. "I was seriously in love with that guy?"
"I'm not so sure," Matt informed, shaking his head.
"Something is definitely amiss," Mail agreed.
"What do you mean?" Matt asked.
Mail shook his head. "Mihael has met the white one before and he told me that he's a Sylph. I don't know if you know what that is, but that man was no Sylph."
--
As far as back as Next could remember, the kids at the orphanage were still calling him 'Next'. That was when 'it' had happened.
Mello had thrown a fit that night and had appeared in his room to vent out his frustrations verbally at him.
He'd yelled for a little while, getting angrier and angrier as Next had ignored him. He probably would have started being violent if screaming hadn't caught their attention and the room hadn't suddenly burst into flames.
Next couldn't remember it happening, really. He just knew one second Mello was yelling at him and the next, the room was engulfed. He and Mello had pushed themselves up against a corner, away from the biggest parts of the fire- which, unfortunately, were blocking the door.
"We'll get out of here," Mello had promised. Next hadn't believed him, but he didn't have the heart to say anything.
The flame was already in the ceiling, pulling parts of it down on top of them. They'd managed to avoid it so far but sadly they hadn't been so lucky the entire time.
Mello was shaking. Next wanted to reach out and grab him but he didn't know the right way to do it, so he didn't. He just sat and waited… waited for something. Waited to be rescued, waited to be engulfed in flames, waited to be squashed by falling beam. He waited for what felt like hours but was probably only seconds.
Then the beam above their head finally gave way and began to fall.
Mello screamed and Next felt the world around him pull at his stomach. He thought maybe that was what it felt like to die but when his body hit concrete, suddenly, he knew that wasn't it.
It was dark. He wasn't in a burning room anymore- and this wasn't the afterlife because he didn't believed in such a thing. It looked like a dark alley in the middle of a town- he could see lights at each end but they were dimming as his head spun and his eyes drooped.
And the only thing he could think as he passed out was that he wished he had been brave enough to reach out and hold Mello.
--
Truth be told, Matt had it figured out a while ago. But after meeting Near, it was one hundred percent clear – it wasn't hard to figure out, anyway. He was, after all, third best and while that wasn't as good as first or second that still ruled out a billion other kids that he was better then.
He had to wonder, though, why Near would do such a thing – didn't he want to see Mello again? Although, he supposed, if Near had wanted to see him he wouldn't have told Matt not to send Mello back.
Maybe Near was just avoiding the problem. It wouldn't be surprising, the kid had never liked following through with anything. He'd always preferred to sit in the background and watch others work.
But Near couldn't avoid this forever because there was no way Matt was going to take Mello back now, not with the blonde knowing what he knew. He couldn't erase his memories again, it would fuck with Mello's head… and Matt had enough of the guilt, anyway.
And that was why he was wandering Near's castle, looking for the albino. Because if Near was going to confront it, it might as well be now.
--
Next had been pretty certain when he awoke that he was in hell. He didn't know why he would be in hell, considering he was just a little kid and he hadn't done anything wrong – but there was no other place he could have been.
Because he had awoken in a dungeon.
If he had awoken in hell then the devil had walked in a few moments later.
He'd been a somewhat older man, obviously having experienced life because he had the same look in his eyes that L had – except this guy's was in a darker and more horrible way. L was gentle and comfortable, where as this guy gave Next the creeps right off the bat.
There had been a good reason for that, too.
A brothel and a sex slave ring. Slavery was illegal of course, but that had never stopped criminals. He supposed musing about how illegal or morally wrong something was didn't stop the fact that it was happening to you, but it certainly kept your mind busy with something else while you denied the fact that something so bad could be going on.
He'd come up with a hundred different scenarios. Times where he hadn't been caught in the fire, what would have happened if he had gone to the bathroom… what life might have been like if he had chosen to hold Mello instead of sit off to the side, not knowing what to do. But nothing ever changed and he had to accept that he was stuck here, wherever this place was, for the rest of his (probably very short) life.
After a while he came to learn that this place was not his home. He was, in fact, in a completely different reality – and while it seemed impossible, he wasn't one to ignore what was right in front of him. The men that came in often complained about the king and how 'Slavery was legal in Marihanda'. That lead Next to believe that wherever they were, it was not Marihanda.
He supposed he was lucky because at least there was a small chance that this business would someday be shut down – But if it was, what then? He had nowhere to go… and maybe that was why he never tried to run away.
--
When Matt finally caught up to Near he knew he had the right one. Because, while he didn't know what a Sylph was, it was obvious by the caught-off-guard look the young man gave him that he had the right one.
"Why are you avoiding this?" Matt asked, although there was a billion other things he wanted to say. Why did you send a fake to meet us? Why didn't you let me bring Mello back to you? What are you so afraid of? And so on… he figured he'd just ask the general question that covered them all, instead.
Near just frowned.
--
"You're a lucky little boy."
Next didn't consider himself a lucky little boy, but he had learned long ago not to contradict anything the man said.
"Ask me why," he demanded.
"Why?" Next asked automatically.
"Because you," the man went on, shoving a finger so close to Next's face that he felt the urge to bite it off, but refrained. "Happen to be the soul mate of the Prince."
Next didn't ask. He didn't believe in soul mates, but then again he had never believed in alternative realities and that hadn't gotten him very far. So, instead, he just sat there and waited for the man to explain.
"That means, my little friend," he went on and Next resisted the urge to tell him they weren't friends. "That you're going to fetch me a very large sum."
"And that makes me lucky?" Next asked.
The man laughed. "No, kid. The thing that makes you lucky is that the king and the prince are the nicest sons of bitches you could ever get sold to. You'll never have to whore yourself off again."
The guy was right, in the end. Next was a lucky little boy.
--
"He already lost you once, Near. Technically, twice. Don't make him lose you again."
Near looked away, pulling the arms off of a toy in his hands. "Matt figured it out faster then I thought he would," he admitted.
Matt sighed. "I'm not here to gloat, I don't give a shit. I want you to face Mello."
In truth, he had figured it out quicker then even he'd expected. But something about the air Next put off had told him the boy was different.
Maybe it what he'd said after Matt had almost run him over, right before he'd passed out.
Please tell me I'm not back.
--
"I'm not sure what you've heard, but I don't buy slaves."
Next hadn't expected that. He supposed he'd had tunnel vision, thinking every man that spotted him wanted nothing more then to use him and move on. Then again, considering all of the men who spotted him were walking into a brothel, he supposed this wasn't far from the truth. The King, however, looked at him with sympathetic eyes, ones that reminded him of Roger.
"This isn't just any slave," the man began, but was cut off.
"I could have you arrested for slavery," the King told him.
"And risk losing this jewel?" The Man questioned with a slimy smile. He then gestured to Next and told the King in the most self-assured voice Next could remember hearing, "This boy happens to be the soul mate of your son."
The King looked at him in surprise for a few moments before his eyes finally fell on Next. He leaned over to the guard beside him and whispered a few words. The guard motioned to the man next to him, who left quickly.
He returned a few moments later with a young girl in tow.
She looked at Next before her eyes moved above him, as if following some invisible line. She left the room, following this line, and was gone for only a few moments before returning and giving the King one quick nod.
The King gave the man a defeated look and asked, "How much?"
--
"I know you hate facing stuff, Near," Matt went on, laying a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "But you love him!"
"That's exactly why," Near breathed, voice rigged with more emotion then Matt could ever remember it having.
"Look, Near," Matt breathed, moving up his other hand so both were on Near's shoulders and they were facing each other straight on. "I don't know you all that well and I can't say I have any idea what you've been through. In my world we barely spoke and you've been dead six years – but I'm pretty damn sure this is probably the hardest thing you're ever going to have to deal with. But you know what?" He made sure their eyes were locked as he spoke slowly and honestly. "If you avoid this now and you let him go back home again you're going to regret it until the day you die."
Near frowned at him for a few moments more before he finally looked down and mumbled, defeated, "Matt is right."
Matt smiled. "Of course I am."
--
Next hadn't known what to think. One moment he was before the king and the next he was being dressed in some fancy purple outfit (he'd never liked wearing anything other then white but he didn't argue, not anymore) and seated at a very long table with way too many guests.
Food that he didn't dare touch was put in front of him and he barely managed to sit through the meal without throwing up. This was the third time he'd been thrown into a world he didn't know or understand and frankly, at twelve, he thought that was about three times too many.
After the party guests had split up to do their own thing he wandered out into the garden and found a bench to sit on. He was there maybe half an hour before someone finally approached him.
"Hi," said a voice he almost knew but it was much too grown up.
But as he looked up a pair of green-blue eyes and a chopped blonde haircut confirmed what his ears had thought they heard. There he stood in all his glory, smiling nervously and looking at Next as if they'd never met before.
"I'm Mihael," Mello had said, holding out his hand.
And all Next could do was stare.
--
"I have to ask Matt something," Near said out of the blue as they walked along the long, icy hallways.
"Shoot, my good man," Matt responded, inwardly musing to himself all of the good thoughts about how Near had grown into an adult and how he didn't look like an eight year old anymore.
Near winced, giving Matt a desperate look that the redhead didn't understand but knew meant he had touched some sort of soft spot. (Near was quietly thinking to himself how horrible that word sounded coming from Matt's lips, considering the last time they had seen each other the redhead was being wheeled away after being shot to death.)
"Are you real?" Near questioned.
"What?" Matt asked.
"I'm about 65 certain that you are merely a delusion telling me what I already know to get me to face my own fears," Near informed.
"That's a load of shit," Matt responded. "If I were a delusion I wouldn't have ears and a tail."
"Touché," Near nodded.
--
He wasn't Mello.
That much was obvious. They looked alike, they probably had the same name (although Next couldn't tell) and they even smelled the same, but this wasn't Mello. As far as Mihael knew they'd never met and Next hadn't beaten or tied with him on every test since he'd come to Wammy's. The guy didn't even know what Wammy's was. He probably didn't know who L was or who Matt was, who Linda was or who Roger was – he just smiled at Next and laughed when he got nervous, offered him something akin to friendship and drove him to insanity when he was upset.
He wasn't Mello.
But Next was perfectly content to hold onto him and never let go.
He wasn't about to make the same mistake twice.
--
Near wasn't about to make the same mistake twice, either. Matt wasn't third best for nothing – he was smart enough to be second best and perhaps first and Near wasn't about to deny that fact. If he applied himself like he did in the current situation he could prove to surpass perhaps L himself – and he knew the redhead was right. He would regret it… hell, he already had, once.
So, swallowing nervously, he followed Matt as the redhead knocked on Mello's door and stepped in, ready to face the blonde for the first time in two years.