December 2001
He wonders how the fear went away so quickly. The bone deep terror that used to keep him awake for whole nights, just listening to make sure his babies were still breathing.
He doesn't know how he stopped being scared to leave them alone, convinced he'd come back to smoke and ashes, but now he wishes he did.
Because the moment Sam slammed the door behind him, all the fear welled up again, rank and fierce. Fresh as that night in his burning home.
He wishes he knew how he did it, he wishes hard he could do it again.