Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter just the plot is mine
A/N: This is an Hermione/Ginny little story so if you don't like then don't read it. Just a little something for the Christmas season told from Hermione's point of view.
Hermione had been sat in the library on her favourite table at the back, closest to the restricted section for and hour. History of Magic text lay open in front of her forgotten. Instead she was in deep thoughts, unaware of her surroundings.
Why am I even bothered if Ginny is with Colin, or with any other guy for that matter? It's not like I'm jealous or anything…No that would be absurd. Let me thing about this logically for a second. It's not jealousy…Its concern. Yes I'm just concerned for Ginny's feelings. I mean what if she got hurt? What if Colin turned out to be a mean guy really?...Actually forget the last thought, as much as I feel that Colin isn't perfect for Gin, I highly doubt that he could ever be mean…Besides Ginny would hex him to hell and back, she can defiantly take care of herself.
Hermione sighed and instead of pretending to read, she decided to just push the book aside, chin in hand and sort out her thoughts before she drove herself crazy.
Ok Granger forget about Colin for a second because that's not important right now. The problem isn't Colin per say, maybe I'm envious of Ginny because guys find her attractive and I don't or haven't had a guys attention for longer than a week or so? Hermione you might have just hit the nail on the head. Ok let me see, I went to the Yule Ball with Victor. He was sweet and charming even though communicating was a bit difficult because of his lack of English skills. But still I had a lovely time at the Ball with him, Gin was there too and she looked beautiful in that dress. It really brought out her eyes and her smile lit up the room. Even though throughout the night she was in pain because Neville kept treading on her feet.
Hermione let out a little chuckle in the otherwise silent library and realising where she was for the first time in over an hour, clamped her hand over her mouth and looked sheepishly around the room to see if anyone had noticed. Finding madam Pince nowhere in sight, Hermione slipped easily back into her thoughts.
However sweet and charming Victor was I didn't feel anything romantically for him. I found that out when he kissed me after the Ball. I never felt any spark or wanted the kiss to never end, he didn't make my heart race or my palms sweaty and my stomach felt normal, no butterflies. Nothing. Which, come to think of it…I never felt with Ron either. The first time Ron kissed me I was expecting fireworks to go off around us and to feel like I was walking on air, or at least complete for the first time in my life. After all we were meant to be together right? But again there was nothing…actually I tell a lie there was something, but it was almost brotherly. It felt wrong.
Hermione bit her bottom lip and narrowed her eyes in deep though as a realisation hits her hard in the stomach.
Maybe it's me. Maybe the problem isn't Victor or Ron, but me…I've never been interested in guys. Not really. There good friends and I feel comfortable around them, talking to them. But I have never really felt a deep attraction for anyone, not even Victor or Ron. What if…?
Hermione shook her head roughly a frown on her face and eyes close to tears
But then that would mean…and I don't like boys because…but what about Ginny? No I don't…Ginny is just…am I?...could I be? Am I attracted to Ginny and that's why I have been feeling this way?
Upon this realisation a tear slides down her cheek followed quickly be another then another until Hermione is openly crying silently in the back of the library. She puts her face in her hands and sobs.
What am I going to do now? What are people going to think? My parents, Ron, Harry, would I lose them over this? And what about Gin? She'll hate me, never want to speak to me or be near me again if she ever found out.
Wiping her tears forcibly from her face with the sleeve of her robes, Hermione straightened up and looked determined.
No this is wrong, I'm being silly…ridiculous even. I'm not gay, I don't fancy Ginny…I'm just jumping to conclusions. Just because I haven't been attracted to any boys yet, doesn't mean I wont in the future. Ginny is by best friend, the only one that is a girl and I'm just confusing the affection that I have for her as a friend with that of something more. Simple. I just have to forget all about it and focus on getting through my classes and trying to enjoy Christmas…That's it! I feel so depressed that I am the only one who doesn't have anyone to be with over Christmas that I'm fabricating feelings for someone. That makes sense, and because Ginny and I are so close and the other two boys have someone, I have manufactured these feelings for Ginny. See it helps to think of things logically, well done Hermione.
Breathing a sigh of relieve and with a triumphant smile on her face Hermione picked up her History of Magic book, stuffed it in her bag and bounced out of the library heading for the common room.