FINALLY! A chapter!! Sorry for the severe lack in updates!

Disclaimer: I don't own a turtle, a moose, a penguin, an Eskimo, a llama, a duck, or Twilight. I own some coffee though. How lame is that?

Bella's POV

Whenever I spend the night at the Cullens', I have to bring a secret stash of coffee for the morning, because the Cullens don't drink coffee and Edward doesn't let me. So that's exactly what I did.

I woke up and got out my secret stash of coffee, drinking it quickly before Edward could come upstairs and wish me good morning. The coffee kicked in immediately and I ran downstairs to Edward.

"Edward!" I cried out in a sing-song voice. "I have a joke for y-" And I tripped on the stairs, but grabbed the banister and regained my balance. I blinked, shook my head and continued down the perilous steps, this time more carefully.

After completing my descent with no further catastrophes, I launched myself into Edward's lap and giggled.

He smiled and wrapped his finger around a lock of my hair. "A joke?"

I laughed. "Yes."

"Well it can't be as good as any of mine, Bella, but give it a shot," Emmett teased from the couch.

"Okay," I smiled and cleared my throat.

"If you take the SKIS away from an ESKIMO, what happens? He becomes EMO!" I burst out laughing, even going so far as to slap my knee.

When I realised that everyone else was silent, I stopped.

"What? Do you not get it? See, Eskimo-"

"We got it, Bella." Emmett interrupted me with a strained voice.

I looked at him with confusion. "What's wrong?"

"That just wasn't funny." He looked to be on the edge of laughter, but also annoyed.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Because you didn't get it?"

"Oh, I got it. It just blew."

"Well, excuse me! Let's hear what you've got!"

He smirked. "Gladly."

Emmett started to stand up, probably aiming for a whole stand-up comedy routine, but Edward interrupted him.

"I swear Emmett, if you tell her that joke I will make it come true for you until you no longer find it funny." His voice was full of menace. It was so hot!

Emmett blinked a few times then sat down, mumbling to himself and glaring at Edward.

Edward glared back. The two of them sat in a glaring contest until I could take it no more.

"YOUR MAMA'S LLAMA!" I burst out.

Edward's eyes flew to me. "Bella?" He asked with concern as his brows furrowed in confusion. Haha, say that ten times fast.

"YO MAMA'S LLAMA'S FACE!" Emmett announced in a total homie-gee voice before crying out "Oh! Burn!" as if he had won. Psshh. Well, I played along.

I shook my finger and made a sizzling sound. "I need some aloe for that burn!"

Emmett rolled his eyes.

"You know that was funny."

Suddenly Emmett's eyes went wide. "LOOK! It's a moose!"

I turned my head around. "Where?!"

"In your pants!" He said in his 'Oo you just got burnt' voice.

"Aah! RAPE!" I screeched to play along. Edward tensed up at the mention of it, but Emmett started laughing.

"A rapist moose! That's utterly ridiculous!"

"So's your face," I shot back at him and stuck my tongue out.

Emmett threw himself off the couch and started rolling around in laughter.

When he had calmed down, I made a serious face and whispered to him.

"Hey Emmett."

"What Bella?"

I suppressed a smile, trying hard to keep my face serious. "Feel the turtle." I bit my lip to keep from laughing and watched his reaction.

Several things flashed across his face before he finally settled on one. I thought he was going to laugh, but instead he stared at me like I had four heads.

"Holy frick? Feel the… What the duck?"

I laughed. "I don't know. It has something to do with the Terrapins. Fear the turtle, and all that."

Emmett suddenly made his face serious. "Hey Bella," he whispered.

"What, Emmett?" I totally didn't realise that he was using my same trick.

"Feel the turtle within you." His eyes bore into mine seriously. I blinked, processed his words, and started laughing.

"Oh my gosh, Emmett. What the duck? A rapist turtle now, too?" I was shaking from laughter.

Emmett tilted his head. "I hadn't thought of it like that. Good one, Bells."

I blushed. Now Edward thought I was perverted or something. I truly thought that's what Emmett meant. I mean, who wouldn't? It was just so… Emmett.

"Oh, go eat a penguin, Emmett!" I turned to Edward, who smiled at our joke. What happened next was totally unexpected.

"OMFG! IT'S A ZOO!" Emmett screamed his head off before launching into laughter again.

Edward and I turned our heads to Emmett with alarm.

"Did you just say-" Edward started.

"Ohh Emm Eff Gee?" I finished.

Emmett stopped laughing and looked at us. "Yeah, why?"

A moment of silence followed before I giggled. "Because that's not how you're supposed to say it, Emmett! You sound like some preppy girl."

He frowned. "That's how it's spelled, Bella. Ohh-Emm-Eff-Gee."

I cackled. "No! Don't say it again!" I waved my hand in the air and clutched my stomach, laughing hard.

He growled lightly. "And how would you say it?" He glared at me.

"Uh, like a word! Duh! Oomph-guh!"

He stared at me. "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard."

"Oh, like 'Ohh Emm Eff Gee' is so much better?!" I retorted.

"Yes!" he shot back.

"How about saying what it means? Oh my fricking gosh?"

"That takes too long. That's why it's hyphenated."

"You mean abbreviated?"

"Whatever, Bella."

We turned away from each other and crossed our arms then turned our hands back and stuck our tongues out at each other.

"Baby," he teased me, but I refused to take the bait. I had been sitting in Edward's lap the entire time and I hadn't even given him a good morning kiss!?

I turned to Edward and wrapped my arms around his neck. He grinned and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Oh, do I exist?" He kept his tone light and teasing.

I rolled my eyes at him and kissed him gently. "Good morning."

"Good morning. Would you like some breakfast?"

"Not right now." I remembered to breathe as I stared into his eyes.

"What would you like then?"

"Hmm," I pretended to consider it before bringing my mouth to his again.

"Oh, yuck," Emmett tittered from across the room. Edward and I ignored him, a task easily done when we were so wrapped up in each other's lips.

Of course, Edward pulled away after awhile.

"So, what was with the random jokes?"

I shrugged. "I don't know… I just woke up in a good mood I guess." Haha! Right.

Edward and Emmett exchanged a brief glance.

"You know, Bella… You're really funny when you're jacked up on coffee." Edward said conversationally. I froze.

OMFG HOW DID HE KNOW?!!?

Bhaha. The End.
M'kay, so I won't be updating during the month of November because I am participating in NaNoWriMo! Sorry. Please review anyway.

Thanks go to my beta, .writing who beta-ed this chapter, thought it was funny, and is doing NaNoWriMo also! So give a big YAY to Mrs. Ashleigh Lutz!!!!!!