Chapter 3: Pretty Princess, Stupid Eunuch

Rachel hurried forlornly down the streets of Port Royal, cursing like a mad-hatter under her breath. This was the suckiest thing EVER! She probably wouldn't see Jack until the rescue scene! Maria and Jane got to prance around with the hottest guys the whole time while she was stuck in a corset with the prissiest girl in town! It was really one of the saddest things that had ever happened to her.

Finally finding the mansion she rushed quickly up the drive and onto the small porch. Patting down her hair and smoothing the ugly dress she was cursed to wear, she knocked deliberately on the door. Once … twice… Three times.

"Open the fucking door damn it!" Suddenly the door flew open to reveal a red-faced butler, dressed in a long gray coat and wearing a white stringy wig.

Rachel beamed innocently at him, giving him her most pitiful smile. "Oh My! I'm so sorry I arrived on such short notice! My carriage just broke down and I insisted to walk the rest of the way!" She threw in a bit of English accent to sound more convincing.

The butler raised his eyebrows. "Who are you, Miss?"

"Why, I'm Miss Rachel …Depp, Miss Elizabeth's cousin! Surely someone sent word that I was to arrive today!" Rachel gave a scandalized look. "Oh dear, now I've imposed!"

The butler pushed the door open wide and gave her a kind smile. "Oh no, I'm sure that we were informed. Please do come in. It must have slipped the Governor's mind."

"Okay!" She skipped into the huge mansion slipping off her shoes at the door way and patting the butler's arm. "Please inform my uncle and tell him I'm here. Tell him that Long lost Cousin Rachel arrived from England and she's gone up to speak to Elizabeth, will you?"

He nodded and gave her one last smile before disappearing through a doorway. Rachel watched him leave before turning and running up the stairs in a very unladylike fashion, smirking the whole time. What a dip!

Elizabeth's room was the first one on the left, so she recalled from the movie. She walked up to her bedroom door, pausing and putting her ear to it before knocking. She heard rushing around and the slamming of a drawer before a light voice called "Come in!"

Rachel pushed open the door, shut it quickly and locked it, before turning around to see a very shocked and rather skimpily dressed Elizabeth. She wrinkled her nose.

"Ew put some clothes on, please!" Elizabeth's jaw dropped even lower.

"Who are you? What are you doing in my house? And in my bedroom?" Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Oh chill out, princess. I'm only here for the ride!" Elizabeth looked confused. Again. Rachel sighed and walked over to Liz's bed, plopping down on the soft comforter.

"Listen, I have to tell you something. It's very important, something you can't tell anyone about."

Elizabeth nodded, expectantly. "Well what is it?"

Rachel grinned. "Can't tell you about it now. But I will explain later. For now, my name is Rachel and I am your long-lost cousin. Just go along with it, for my sake. I'm not here to hurt you or anything." She pointed to the medallion that was hidden inside Elizabeth's nightgown. "And I DO know about that, so there is no use in hiding it from me. And I also know about how you like Will, yada yada yada."

Poor Lizzie looked shocked. "You know about my medallion!? And Will Turner?" She stuttered, obviously sure she was going crazy.

"Yep. Weird, right?" She nodded. Rachel held up her pinky. "Pinky promise you won't tell about me not being your real cousin or whatever?"

Elizabeth nodded, and they squeezed pinkies. Rachel was surprised that she even knew what a pinky promise was. Guess she wasn't a dumb blonde after all. (No offense to blondes! One of my best friends is one!)

Glad to be done with the explaining for a while, Rachel hopped excitedly off the bed. "You might want to get up now. Your dad is gonna knock on your door in like 5 seconds."

Knock. Knock. "Elizabeth? Are you decent?"

Lizzie's eyebrows went sky-high. "This is impossible!"

Rachel shrugged. "Not probable." She went to open the door. "And you might want to pick your jaw off the floor. Very unattractive."

Jane did not like Will very much. In her mind, he needed a good slap to the face once in a while. He was just too stupid in the first movie! She was determined to fix that!

She skipped down the cobblestone streets of Port Royal towards Will's blacksmith shop with a sense of anticipation. Rachel was a stupid arse, but she was right about one thing. This WAS the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her. And probably for Maria too. Rachel was just a drunken retard half the time, so everything was exciting to her.

Finally reaching the shop, she didn't bother to knock on the door knowing it was pointless anyways, and barged right in. Will looked up in surprise, as she marched in, slamming the door behind her. Unsurprisingly, Brown was asleep in the chair, like usual, a rum bottle hanging from his hand.

"Who are you? What are you doing here" Will dropped his hammer (something Jane was rather grateful of; he looked less threatening that way) and walked closer to where she was standing. "Why are you wearing men's clothes?"

Jane wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Women can wear whatever we want, thank you very much! And my name is Jane, and I feel like being here, so I am, duh!"

Will looked kind of guilty. "I didn't mean it like that. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Jane nodded a bright smile lighting up her face. "Yes actually. You can let me follow you around all day, for absolutely no reason, at least not a reason known to you...for now."

She grinned again, trying to look innocent and not conniving.

"Why?" Will looked kind of suspicious, like this was a joke being played on him. "And who are you anyways?"

Jane sauntered up to him and poked him in the chest. He blinked. "My name is Jane. I come from somewhere you don't know of, but will probably be explained later. The whole damned point is that I will be following you around all day because I NEED to. Got It?"

Will looked like someone had popped his personal bubble, but nodded. "Okay. I have to make some deliveries though." He looked at her hopefully. Phhh, like a bunch of deliveries would make HER leave. She didn't even want to be trapped in this stupid movie anyway, let alone follow the whelp. There was no way she was going to be stopped by a bunch of silly stupid DELIVERIES! Emphasis on deliveries!

"I'm goin'. End of story."

"Well let's get started then." Will glanced one last time at Brown, rolled his eyes, and held the door open for her. He grabbed a long box and his coat from a hook on the wall, and walked out after her.

Jane hooked her arm in his, as they walked, whistling happily. Finally, they were getting somewhere. Now, she thought, What's Maria up to?

K, so here it is, the 3rd chapter! Maria will be next with Jack, but I figured that I'll save that for another chapter because that part will be so long. Thanks to the people who reviewed! I appreciate it! Remember REVIEWS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND!

I'm gonna got eat lunch now! PCCC OUT!! -Mars