Healing a Lonely Murderer

Itachi Love Story

The Breakup: Itachi's POV:

i She's just beautiful. There are no other words to describe her, but what would a beautiful girl like her do with a person like me. She should be afraid of me. Afraid that I could kill her any day now. Not in love with me. I must have tricked her or something. /i

I carried her back to her room and laid her on the bed. Her beautiful brown/blonde spilled over her face as she slept. I tucked the hair behind her ear and kissed her on the cheek. i That will be my last act of affection. /i I tried to keep my face content but I know sadness was escribed with a red sharpie marker, all across my face. /i Please try to stop loving me. /i I took one last look at her and forced myself to leave the room. /i Now I have to erase the man Mayu's made me into. Remember, I'm a murderer. /i I exited the headquarters unnoticed and walked toward the training grounds. Knowing that I was going to train the hardest I have trained since I was ANBU, I took off the cloak. i It just gets in the way anyway. /i I stood myself in the middle of a clearing of trees, staying away from 'Mayu's Sakura Tree' at all cost. Overlapping red and white painted circles shaped like a dartboard covered random areas of the barks of the tree. Slightly bending my knees, I jumped high in the air with my eyes closed. Once I got to the highest point of my jump, I turned upside-down I plunged head first to the ground while spinning. Reaching into my pockets, I threw 5 kunai's into the target and landed back on my feet. The kunai's landed perfectly into the tiniest red circle of the target. Bull's eye. But the targets didn't matter. I'm a prodigy. A skilled ninja. And a man who has to give up the one he loves.

I kept up the training for a few more hours. Vigorously too. Until I was so exhausted it was hard to walk. I slung my cloak over my shoulder and walked back to headquarters. I felt good. i Starting to get back like my old self. I can get through this. People have done it before. /i But my heart sank back into its hole right when I saw that tree Mayu healed. The same tree that turned into one of the most beautiful Sakura tree's I have ever seen. The tree stood proudly. Like it was trying to tell me something. But I. Itachi Uchiha. Do not analyze trees, or any other kind of wildlife for a 'sign'. 'Signs' don't exist. They're all in your imagination. So instead of wasting my time with a tree, I plucked one of its flowers and stuffed in it my pocket. That way, when I feel like I need a little more imagination in my life, I can look at the pedals and think, 'Wasn't that tree trying to tell me something?' And then laugh at myself for being so idiotic.

I walk back into the headquarters to see Mayu wandering helplessly around the hallways. She looks like she's half asleep and looking for someone. sarcasm I wonder who.

"Itachi? ITACHI! I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU!" She screamed at yelled at me in glee. I just forced myself to keep a straight face and to ignore her. She saw it in my face that I wasn't my right self. i Damn, she knows me too well. i/

"Something wrong, Itachi?"

"Yes. We should see other people." I couldn't look in her eyes right now, so I focused on the walls to the side of her. Anything but her face. She blanked out and stood there frozen. Her eyes were pointed in my direction but it didn't look like she was looking at anything, from what I saw from the corner of my eyes. Her thoughts were clouding her eyes, making her temporarily blind. Seeing that this wasn't going to go anywhere, I started walking toward my room, which was past Mayu and down the hall. She still stood frozen. Right when I was about to pass Mayu, a hand held my shoulder in a firm grip.

"No." was all that came from her lips. I looked at her. The emotion in her eyes were a mixture of pain, love, trust, hate, suffering, everything you can imagine. She looked like she was about to cry.

"I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO SO EASILY. JUST TELL ME ITACHI. WHAT DID I DO?" her head turned toward me. Tears were streaming down her face. "What did I do wrong?" I couldn't answer. She wouldn't understand. I'm doing this for her. She'll have a better, safer life without me. I'm doing this for her own good. And she'll probably never forgive me. Her eyes begged me for an answer. Her unoccupied hand wiped the tears from her face.

"I just don't want to continue our relationship." The expression on her face turned to pure anger. I knew this was coming. I braced myself for the mental blow she was going to put on me. All women knew how to do this.

"So what was I to you Itachi? Just some chew toy you can play with and spit back out? Well fine weasel. I don't care about you either. Whoever your leaving me for better be hard to find because I'll track down the slut and kill her. And as for you my darling Itachi. I now see that heartless people like you really don't change. You're all heartless, cruel heart breakers. Seeing distressed women makes your kind chuckle on the inside. Well I hope your laughing because that trick you pulled on me was sweet." She made a crooked smile and her eyes were a dangerous purple. "I really wish I could kill you right now. Itachi-kun." She let go of my shoulder and blew me a twisted kiss. When she turned around, a saw a shiny tear hit the carpeted floor of the hallway. I wiped my own tears with the fabric of my cloak still draped across my shoulder. She walked down the hallway and into her room. I'm sure she locked it, soundproofed it, and cried it in.

The Breakup: Deidara's POV:

i She'll never love me. Because she loves that bastard of a boyfriend. Who can love someone like that? It's only going to bring her pain. I love her. I should have her. She should be mine. But once again, Itachi gets everything, un. He gets achievement awards [killing his whole clan is some sort of achievement in his mind, prodigy status [even though I was a prodigy in the rock village but nobody cares about me, and the best gift of all- Mayu. So forget it. I'll just wait for her. One day Itachi's going to hurt her bad enough and then I'll be there when she needs me, un. I already told her that I love her. I know she doesn't feel the same though. i/

I laid on my back in my bed, occasionally throwing a bouncy ball made out of clay straight up. Up and Down. My cloak is in some corner in my room from where I took it off and threw it in anger. Trying to find a more comfortable spot on my bed, I did but my ponytail made it awkward. Ugh. Why do I wear these things, yeah? I pulled the scrounge out of my hair, regretting it instantly when hair fell all over my face. Huffing, I swished it aside and continued to my thoughts.

i Can I kill Itachi? No. I can't kill Itachi. sigh I should of killed him when I had the chance. But I didn't know he was going to be the one to steal my love away from me. Maybe I should just move on?… No. I'm in way too deep. Someone's going to have to use all the chakra in the world to pull me out of it. But chakra can't mend a broken heart. i/

I got up and looked out my window. My room is one of the only rooms in the base to overlook the training grounds in the back of the headquarters. Although it's too far away to see who's actually practicing, you can tell they're there because of the battle noises. And that's exactly what I heard. Using my mechanical eye, I squinted at the scene. It was Itachi. He's the only one of this whole damn organization to have long black hair anyway. And he's the shortest. But the strongest. I slammed my window shut and looked around for something to distract me. I was going to grab for the bouncy ball but a knock came on my door.

"Deidara? Can I come in?" I'd notice that voice anywhere. It was Mayu. And her tone of voice sounded desperate. I sighed and walked toward the door. I opened the door to see a saddened Mayu. She looked up at me. First from my unclasped hair back to my eyes. I could get lost in her eyes any day.

"Un?" I asked her. Her eyes started to water up and a tear escaped her eye. I fought everything in me not to embrace her. She has Itachi for that. But she just made it harder for me by embracing me. Her arms went around my waist and her head in my chest as she cried. I hate that sound. Of a woman crying. It makes you feel like the worlds about to end. I was asking myself: i Should I put my arms around her? … NO! I cant/i

"Mayu…Do-don't cry, un. Please. I can't do this." I tried to gently push her away from me but she just cried harder and louder. I sighed and closed my door. The last thing I would want is a crowd of Akatsuki paparazzi crowding my door.

"Dei…dara…" my name escaped her lips as she cried on me. Finally giving up, I sighed and put my arms around her back.

"Mayu. Tell me what's wrong." She lifted her now teary and red-eyed face up to me and backed off of me a little bit. I instantly missed her warmth but I didn't let it show. She bent her head down, letting her brown bangs fall over her face.

"It's you…and Itachi. You guys are always fighting. Ever since I came here I knew you hated each other." She lifted her head and brushed away the hair. "Why?" I can no longer look into her eyes without getting lost. I focus on something else like the wall. But I pull it off my suggesting my sit against the wall. So now all I see in front of me is carpet and a wall opposite the one I'm leaning against. With Mayu sitting next to me. I sighed.

"I forced into this organization, when I denied the offer of joining, un. Hm. Actually, Itachi forced me into this place by beating me." I turned my head towards her and put the large mass of hair behind me, exposing my other eye. "Ever since then I've been training my eye to beat Itachi genjutsu's." I gave her a slight smirk.

"You never forgave him Dei-kun?" she asked innocently. I angrily looked at her and scooted a space away from her. "Sorry." Her head not bent. I crossed my arms.

"Mayu, un. I'm really not the person you should be talking to right now, un." I unfolded my arms and got up from the floor. i Why does she keep coming to me for her problems/i I walked to my dresser and picked out another scrounge, tying my long blonde hair back in a high ponytail.

"I just want a friend…" Mayu spoke but trailed.

"Yes, un. I know that, yeah. But I don't think of you as 'just a friend' so this 'friendship' won't last very long, un."

Mayu's POV

i Deidara doesn't want to ruin my relationship with Itachi. But…I think I have slight feelings for him. No I don't think I do. I think I keep coming to him because I want a friend here. I have Itachi, but he's my lover. I'm still allowed to have a best friend other than my mate. The only problem is, Deidara loves me. He's already confessed it to me. And if I wasn't in love with Itachi, I so would go out with him, but I don't love him. Oh gosh, now I feel bad about coming into his room. /i

"Your right. I'm sorry. I should go." I avoided looking him in the eye as I turned around and opened the door. Just as I went to make a step, I felt a hand grab my wrist. I turned around to see a sad Deidara.

"No I'm sorry, un. Don't think that I don't appreciate your company, yeah." Dei looked at me and then let go my wrist and looked down. "I-I just do-don't want to mess up anything." i Wow, he really cares about me. /i I smiled at him and poked his chest playfully, forcing him to pick his head back up again. He made a slight smile.

"Thank you for caring so much about me." I turned around to leave again, but he jumped in front of me.

"Please, can you do me one thing, un?" his eyes pleaded and begged me to comply. I gave in.

"Hai?"

"One kiss, un. Just one on the cheek, un. And I promise that we could be just friends after that. Or at least I'll try my hardest, un." Deidara had the cutest hopeful look in his eye. It was adorable. I nodded and told him to close his eyes. He did and stood perfectly still. I smirked and stood on my Tipp toes, leaning on his shoulders, and pecked him on the cheek. And with that I made a hand seal and transported to the hallway on the opposite of the headquarters. I saw Itachi and waved excitedly at him. But he had his weird look on his face. It read: sub Evil, stay away, and emo. /sub But I ignored those things. I asked him what's wrong and that's when he said the thing that shattered all the glasses in the world.

"Yes, we should see other people." I just stood there trying to process the foreign words that replayed over and over again in my mind. i Did he just say…no he couldn't mean that. He loves me. HE LOVES ME/i

"No." I whispered that looked at him angrily. "I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO THAT EASY!" That's when I went on a rampage. But on the inside I felt every fatal organ being ripped out of my body. My soul being traveled to some place out of arms reach. My mind's spinning and I try my best to replace my sadness with anger. When I was finished saying my 'angry' words, I turned around and ran into my room, feeling a tear run down my cheeks.

i But-but Itachi! I love you!… Well now I know. You don't love me. And I can't live with that outcome. /i

My purple-sheeted bed had never looked so inviting in my life. I plunged head first into it. My hands shot out, looking for something to hold. Immediately making fist balls out of the now-wrinkled sheets. I thrashed my legs every which way and screamed into my pillow, sobbing all the while. My heart seemed to clench, like it was having some hard time coping, just like my brain wasn't. i I know what pain feels like. I'm not stupid. But I have never felt the amount of pain like this before. Especially not on a spot as sensitive as this /i . I rolled over and placed two hands on my heart. The organ that was so severely broken. The organ that had survived all the damage over the years and what was once healed by the man I loved. No, the man I still love. i I hate myself! For still loving him.. /i But now it was right back in that cold damp place with a lock sealing it from every happy emotion. Nothing but sadness now.

"Mayu. I can't help you this time." A voice said as I turned my head toward the neko version of Mickey. He stood there emotionless. Reminded me exactly of how Itachi acted when he was deep in thought. i Itachi. I need to get him out of my head. /i Micky's eyes were filled with something I hadn't seen in a while. Confidence. And that surprised me. Most of these days I've seen anger and love and mostly concern. But this time, it was confidence.

"Even you know that you have to fight this one out on your own." He walked to my bed and wiped the tears from my face. Another tear fell down my face. "If I tell you, you won't learn anything." I nodded and dived my face into his chest. Crying harder and louder than before. His hand patted my back and rocked my body a little. Mickey's words ran in my head. i So I have to solve this one alone, don't I/i After a while, I stopped crying so that all that was left were soft sniffles and lifted my head from his chest. He handed me a tissue from my desk.

"But Mickey. I don't know what to do."

"I know you don't. But you've grown used to me telling you the answers to everything. Something's you have to do for yourself. Remember, Its okay to make mistakes." i It's okay to make mistakes. So was it a mistake to fall in love with Itachi? Maybe it is.. But whenever I'm with him everything just feels so right. If that was true, then where was the mistake/i

Mickey got up from me, picking me up with him. We walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the shiny glass mirror.

"Clean yourself off. And then keep moving. You can't stop." His words made no sense to me. i What does he mean? 'Keep moving?' Well of course I have to keep moving! I'm human/i He laughed at my frustration.

"I'm giving you everything I can. But you're just so clueless." He chuckled again and patted my back. He gave me one last smile before he disappeared. i Great. Now whom I am I going to go to now/i I splashed my face continuously with water and pulled my hair up into a side ponytail. That way, less brushing is required. I made my way out of my bedroom and down the hallway. Looking down that hallway just made you feel that the red walls were never going to end, just keep going. It makes you feel so small. Just a small girl in a big world. Alone. Overbearing right? My feet made swooshing noises that seemed to be calling out the name I didn't want to think about. Or more along the lines of: I replayed his name over and over again and blamed the noise in my head on my feet.

i Itachi. /i His name played over and over in my head. Better yet: In my heart. I didn't notice that I was walking to his bedroom. Oh, but I realized it when I was knocking on his door.

"Itachi?" I asked as I knocked. Footsteps came from his room as he walked toward the door. My heart skipped a beat as he opened the door. His familiar black bangs, covering the sides of his face and his fierce red eyes staring at me. He gazed down at me. Just staring. Not saying a word. I breathed in some needed air.

"I'm really sorry about yelling at you. i b [I wasn't sorry /i /b I don't know what came into me. i b [Yes I did /b /i Can we still be friends? i b [I could never be 'just' friends with you /i /b " the lies escaped from my throat subconsciously. And at the moment, I couldn't stand myself. i Inner Mayu: DAMMIT! WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL? Inner Mayu 2: But, its not like he loves her anyway. I.M. 1: OF COURSE HE LOVES HER! HE'S LIEING TO HIMSELF. JUST LIKE HOW SHE JUST SAID THE BIGGEST LIES IN THE WORLD. /i While a huge fight was going on in my head, Itachi still hadn't said a word. His face was as emotionless as ever and I frowned upon that. Seeing that he wasn't going to answer, I turned around to leave.

"No." The answer was very faint but it was just enough for me to stop where I was going and turn back around to him. I put on my signature fake half smile and closed my eyes so that he couldn't see the sadness in them.

"Okay. That's fine." Big lie Number 2. It wasn't i fine or okay . It was the opposite. But I just kept my fake smile on until he closed the door, once again locking himself inside. I'm no idiot. I know Itachi could easily use that damn sharingan on me to tell whether I'm lying or not. And he knows me well enough to know exactly If I'm lying or not. So why did I say it? I mean, what was I supposed to do anyway? Cry and run into his arms? No. He hates me. He would probably try to hurt me if I touched him.

Once again, my feet were walking on they're own. And I found myself in the kitchen, grabbing an apple and eating it heartedly. Trying to drown my sorrows in food. Which never worked but I still implied on doing. I sighed loudly, not noticing that there were people on the couch. Heads turned around from the TV to look at me. I just pretended my apple was more interesting than them as I kept chewing. I saw them exchange looks from the corners of my eyes and they turned around to get off the couch and leave. My brain didn't calculate that anyone who was anyone was on that couch. Except Deidara. I called out his name slowly.

"Deidara." I said still looking down at the apple. He stopped walking and looked at me.

"Yes, un?" I walked towards him and stood directly in front of him.

"I need to get out of here." I looked up to see his face full of sadness. "I mean- I need to get out and get some fresh air." He sighed in relief and nodded knowingly and started down the hallway. i At least someone cares if I was to leave this damn place. /i I followed him until we reached an all too familiar big door at the end of a hallway. He knocked and we both walked in. The room was unsurprisingly dark but just dark enough to spot Deidara's bright blonde hair.

"Leader-sama. Do I have any missions today?"

A deep dark voice poked out from the shadows. "No. Neither does Mayu." I nodded and so did Dei.

"Thank you, Pein." I said as I turned to walk out of the door. Deidara followed me out and looked at me weirdly.

"Your lucky he didn't kill you, un." I lightly chuckled and poked him in the stomach.

"He told me that I could call him Pein. Unlike you!" I grabbed his arm. He tightened up in shock but I ignored it and turned my eyes purple. I made a hand seal and transported us both to somewhere far away in the woods. I looked up to Deidara and saw him trying to take in his surroundings.

"Mayu, why'd you bring me here, yeah?" my arms still laced around his. I let him go and took a step away from him.

"It's Itachi." The words were forced out of my mouth and tears were concealed behind my eyes and not in front of it. i Why does his name bring me to tears/i

"Oh." He sat against the bark of a nearby tree and patted the spot next to me.

"What happened, un?"

"He broke up with me. Without a reason." I bowed my head and looked at Deidara. He looked like he didn't know what to do. So I just kept talking. "He doesn't even want to be my friend anymore."

"What do you want me to do? Tell you everything's going to be okay?"

"I want you to make me forget about him." In a way that was true. I wanted to stop thinking about him so in theory, the pain would stop as well. But I didn't want to forget about him because I still love him. Deidara gave me a confused look.

"I can't make you forget, un. Just this morning you told me that you loved him. You can't just fall out of love with someone, un." i If that's true then why did Itachi brake up with me/i I tried to put together an answer in response but he just got up and pulled me with him.

"Come on, un."

Itachi's POV:

I paced around my room, occasionally throwing kunai's in random directions and breaking any sort of glass. My feet wouldn't stop moving in straight lines around the room. I would walk around the room in thought and throw a weapon when I realized I wasn't getting anywhere. Or that my questions weren't being answered. i Mayu knows that I saw right through her fake 'I'm happy' act. Sharingan or not. I can tell. But I'm just confused. This is supposed to make her happier. To give her a chance to get someone better than me, who will love her and protect her. If this is supposed to help her, then why is she crying so much/i

Giving up, I sat on my bed and laid down on my back. I laid there, in a desperate attempt to put my thoughts together in a way that seemed more logical. But nothing made sense anymore. I felt the urge to move so I got up from the bed. Trying to get my mind off of her, I searched frantically for a distraction. All around the room. Under the covers. Under the sofa cushions, behind my pictures. And that's when I found it. Hiding from the world behind the picture of my family when I was 13. That single pink sakura flower. Still pink and lively even without being in the water. I hesitantly touched it. i Mayu. /i Her name rang through my head every time I lightly caressed the petals of the flower. i Glad I kept this. /i I held the flower up to the bedroom light as if to find a hidden clue on it. But nothing. I wanted to find a message on it. Something. Anything that would tell me what I should do.

"I must be going crazy. If I'm looking for a sign from a flower!" I mumbled to myself out loud as I suddenly felt a cold chill coming from the open window. I sighed and went to close it but as I gripped the handle, a pink petal flew in. My eyebrows raised in confusion. i The forest is filled with evergreen trees. Not pink- sakura's. They're sakura's alright. But why would there be a sakura tree in the middle of the – /i Reality slapped me in the face at that moment. The petal. The flower. Both sakuras. And the only sakura in this whole forest would be the one Mayu crafted. There goes that name again. The name that gives me shivers because all I can see is her crying face.

Cursing at myself, I marched out of my room. Completely forgetting to put on a cloak. I stepped out of the headquarters and made my way down to the forest. The fall breeze seemed to whistle at me as the amount of sakura flowers seemed to grow in amount on the forest floor as I walked. Finally I reached what I was looking for. The tree. There was only one flower left on it while there were yards worth of beautiful sakura's surrounding it. I walked up to the tree, my shinobi sandals crushing the freshly fallen flowers beneath. My hands reached for the tree and my feet followed. To me, the tree was a delicate treasure. An artifact of some sort that should be handled with care. A soft wind whirled around the space between the tree and me. What is this? It's almost like the wind's saying that the tree is out of my reach…

"Itachi?" my name floated through the wind before I could touch the tree. I turned in the direction of the voice. There stood the girl who had captured my heart and held with so much care. Just like how careful I had handled the tree with extreme care. Her eyes looked like they've suffered for years and finally spilled. She looked at me with the greatest mix of emotions I have ever seen. My arms wanted to reach for her but .. she was so far away. i That's it! I get it now. She's too far away from me. I need to bring her closer. /i Mayu's hair tussled and turned in the wind and she looked absolutely .. beautiful.