Chapter Twenty-one
.
"It's so good to see you," was the first thing he said when he pulled back a bit, his hands still on my elbows, holding me close.
"I have so much to tell you," I said. "I've really missed you."
"I missed you too," he said, and then at a footstep behind us, we both looked up. Fortunately, I got to see Locke's face when he spotted Edgar. "What's he doing here?" he demanded.
"It's good to see you too, old friend," Edgar said, sounding amused. I grinned.
"He's in danger of his life back home," I said.
"I know," Locke said. "We just got that batch of papers. Where are your guards, Edgar? Be sensible!"
"Papers?" I asked, but they were ignoring me.
"Oh, I have a plentitude of guards," Edgar said. "All they do is slow my movement. Stop worrying. I'm safer on the airship than almost anywhere on land."
"Unless it crashes, or someone gets to one of Setzer's crew. Do you think he screened them? Did you just skip all your king lessons when you were young? Or was the part about fathering an heir the only one you remembered?"
"He hasn't yet," I said. "Has he?"
"Believe me, I'd love to, but Terra turned me down," Edgar said, and Locke and I both sort of choked, for different reasons, I think. I know I started giggling after that and he didn't. "Stand down, Locke," Edgar continued, mildly. "I have advisors for the tirades. And I'll have plenty of tirades when I get home. I just got spoiled during our unorthodox Returner interlude and all that followed, and I needed another taste of freedom, that's all."
"I'm just glad I'm not in your bodyguard," Locke said.
"I'm just glad I don't have you to mother-hen me all the time," Edgar retorted, and before Locke could respond, I repeated "You have newspapers?"
"Mostly from Nikeah, and two weeks old, but yeah," Locke said.
"That's months newer than anything we get," I said.
Setzer kept trying to get Edgar back onto the ship - "I'd prefer not to be tried for the royal abduction," he said - but Locke made an offhand comment about a tour of the dig and I saw Edgar's eyebrow quirk. They stayed for the tour. We had a slow, dusty ride back to the camp proper. Edgar and Setzer each took a chocobo, and I rode with a leg hooked over the pommel of Locke's saddle and his arms around me. Thankfully, Edgar didn't comment, though he did smile, or maybe smirk. I couldn't really relax and enjoy it, because it wasn't a terribly steady ride, or a comfortable one, but I got to wholeheartedly enjoy the part where Locke helped me down at the end.
Molly turned out to be a round-faced, dark-haired woman, maybe in her thirties. When I first met her, she was squinting and dusty, but Edgar quickly began charming her; pink-faced and smiling, she looked younger and much prettier, but she and Locke tended to smack each other in the shoulders like Gau and Sabin always had, and I laughed - I couldn't seem to stop smiling, either - and wondered why I'd worried. Osmond Hale was a skinny man with close-cropped, faded blond hair and premature wrinkles; the kind of wrinkles you could tell were premature, I mean. There were a few younger assistants, but no one else that we were introduced to by name at that time. They both called Locke "kid" occasionally, which I found a bit odd, but funny. He didn't seem to mind, which surprised me a bit. Normally he could get so touchy about that kind of thing.
The dig didn't look quite like I'd expected - I'm not sure what I'd expected, but I'd thought it had to be more complicated than a bunch of holes in the ground. Some of the holes had scaffolding around them, or canvas tarpaulins draped over them. Locke seemed very proud, though, and I liked seeing the way he showed off some of their proudest pits - "we found a bracelet here," he said over one of them, "with some of the string still intact," and "they seem to have used this cave for religious rites, or magical - not sure if there's a difference," and, very happily, "this was their midden!"
"A scholar's life for me," Setzer said at that, and I just grinned. I'd been grinning all through the afternoon, because around the caves, Locke had taken my hand to pull me on to the next sight, and he hadn't let go. Our fingers were intertwined now and I wasn't about to do anything to make him stop. I'd been so worried, and now I just felt giddy and relieved. A little nervous still, but happy, and it was hard to be too uneasy while he was holding my hand.
Eventually he had to let it go, though, to hug Edgar goodbye, and shake hands with Setzer, and wave as the airship took off. I squinted against the dusty wind and waved too, watching as they vanished above the clouds. "You want to ride one of their birds back?" he asked. "Pillion can't be too comfortable."
"Okay," I said, and he laced his hands together to make a step into the saddle for me. Once I was up, he straightened, smiling up at me. "It's so good to see you again," he said.
I lowered my eyes, suddenly, frustratingly, shy again. "It's good to see you too," I said. I wished he hadn't boosted me into the saddle so soon. "I missed getting to talk to you, and letters every few weeks aren't the same..."
"I know," he said. We were both silent for a moment. "Let's get back to camp," he said. "It's getting late - are you hungry?"
"Starting to be," I said.
"We'll have time to talk after we eat," he said, as he busied himself about the other chocobo - Edgar's, I think - tying its reins to his bird's saddle. I didn't see exactly what he did in the sunset glare, especially because I mostly wanted to stare at my hands again. "Are you all right?" he asked.
"I'm fine," I said. "Just a bit... tired, I guess. Windblown."
He nodded. "There's a tent set up for you already. You'll have a chance to freshen up before the meal."
We talked a bit on the ride back to the camp, just catching up, because Edgar and to a lesser extent Setzer had claimed quite a bit of his attention on the earlier rides there and back. I told him what the kids were up to, he told me what he knew of the attempt on Edgar, what he'd heard from Celes about the situation in Narshe, things like that. We had to raise our voices a bit to be heard because of the wind and the distance - our birds weren't about to ride wing to wing like I'd seen military mounts do - and it was so dusty that our throats were dry before we were halfway there. We lapsed into silence well before we saw the tents again.
When we finally did pull into the camp, he dismounted in a rush to help me down. I leaned against him, my head against his chest, and he put his arms around me. "You're sure you're all right?" he asked softly.
I nodded, and looked up at him. He raised one hand to brush some hair from my face - it was a windblown mess, despite my attempt to tie it back halfway through the afternoon. "I've really missed you," I said. "I've been... I came here to see you." Stupid. Of course I had. "I wanted to tell you how I felt. About you."
"Is this..." He stopped, and I looked up at him. He looked worried. Upset. I'd been sort of hoping he'd kiss me or something, and I wouldn't have to figure out how to get to the end of that sentence I'd been attempting. "Terra, I..."
Oh no. I couldn't keep looking at him. He didn't want me to say it. I'd thought surely, with the way he'd been acting all afternoon... but hadn't he always acted like that? My stomach felt like ice. I looked at my hands, which were clenched together. His hands were still on my shoulders. At least there was that. "I know I made you wait a long time, and I was... acting strange, for no reason. And I wouldn't blame you if you gave up on me but I still want to tell you, even if it's too late." I could feel my heart thumping. "I was in love with you all along and I'm sorry I didn't say it right from the start."
"All this time?" I looked up, and he had the strangest expression on his face, like he couldn't believe he was smiling. He was, though. I wasn't sure I could believe it either. "Why... never mind, I guess I know why." He didn't, I thought. I hoped. It had been more about Celes than about my memories for so long, and I didn't think he knew. But I couldn't exactly ask, because it wasn't my secret to tell. "I should have... Should I have realized?"
"I don't know how you could," I said. "I wasn't-- is it too late?"
"Are you crazy? I waited too long to give up on you halfway through," he said, and this time the grin took over. I threw my arms around his waist and he wrapped his arms around me.
"Halfway?" I asked, muffled by his chest. "What was the end going to be?"
"When you married someone else, I guess," he said, and I laughed. I'd tell him about Martin later, but not right now. I reached up to touch his face, and this time I was the one to kiss him - tentative and a little askew, but he didn't seem to mind.