I don't own any of the characters from LOCI. I'm merely borrowing them, all the other usual disclaimers apply as well.

This Can't Be Happening

Late September, 1983 College Station, Texas

For the fifth morning in a row, Amy found herself in the bathroom stall of the suite she shared with three other girls at Texas A&M University. Once again, she was violently sick to her stomach.

"Amy? Are you OK," her roommate Michelle asked.

Michelle Cho had been Amy's roommate since their freshman year, when they were thrown together at the random whim of a computer. The two girls found they rather liked each other and the arrangement, and had been roommates ever since. Now, they were starting their senior year together.

"Amy, unlock the door. I'm coming in."

Amy reached up behind her and slid the bolt back, allowing Michelle to pull open the door and look down at her. Michelle gently placed a cool, wet wash rag against the back of Amy's neck.

"This is the fifth day in a row you've been in here like this. You care to tell me what's going on?"

Michelle waited patiently as another wave of nausea overtook Amy and sent her once more retching into the toilet bowl. She rubbed Amy's back and waited for the worst to subside. She then handed Amy another wash rag for her face.

"Nothing is going on. I've got a stomach virus."

"Stomach virus my ass. What stomach virus only attacks in the morning? I swear, if I didn't know you any better, I'd think you were…." Michelle's voice trailed off and her eyes widened as she stared at Amy.

Amy met her look with a wide-eyed look of her own. "Oh, shit!" She started counting on her fingers, and began to shake. "No! No, no, no, no, NO! Oh my God," she yelled. "No," she wailed softly as she hung her head between her knees and began to cry.

Michelle sank to the floor and put her arms around Amy and pressed her cheek into her back. "Amy, are you sure?"

"It—it's a distinct possibility," Amy sobbed.

"How late are you?"

"Six and a half weeks. But, but I thought it was like two years ago, when we were all so stressed, and the doctor said it was not uncommon…." her voiced trailed away at the memory.

Amy, Michelle, and their two suite mates had all been extremely stressed over exams and a too-heavy course load, causing all of them to experience a semester of dysmenorrhea, or cessation of ovulation and menstruation, a protective mechanism by which the female body can ensure pregnancy would not occur in a hostile environment, such as an overly stressed out college student. Once exams had passed and all four girls had spent a quiet summer at home with their families, things had returned to normal.



But, two years ago, she was very stressed out. Two years ago, she and Rodger were not yet sexually active. Two years ago, she had not met Bobby Goren.

Amy noticed that Michelle had gotten up and left the stall, so she wiped her face one last time, flushed and left to follow her.

"Here," said Michelle, holding out a box to Amy. "I got this yesterday. I've been suspicious myself."

Amy took the box and stared down at it. It was a pregnancy test kit; the home test kind that you peed on and waited a few minutes. She looked back up at Michelle. Mutely, she opened the box and disappeared back into the stall. Amy emerged a minute later and gave the stick to Michelle and went into the dorm room to lie down.

"Move over," said Michelle, a few minutes later.

"Well," Amy asked.

"Yes," Michelle replied.

"It's bullshit!"

"No, it's a baby. You're pregnant," Michelle said, turning her head to look at her roommate.

A tear escaped from Amy's eye and rolled down towards her ear. Michelle reached over and brushed it away gently. She hurt for Amy; they had become more than just friends, more than just roommates. They were sisters; sharing in each other's joys and sorrows. As Michelle watched more tears flow from Amy's eyes, she started crying herself.

Michelle sat up and rubbed at her eyes. "Stop it, Amy! You're making me cry and I'm not the one who's pregnant."

Suddenly, Amy's eyes got wide and she sat up quickly. "What time is it?"

"What?"

"The time. What time is it," Amy demanded.

Michelle glanced over at the alarm clock on the desk. "It's almost 8. Why?"

"Oh, my God! NO! What am I going to say to him? I can't talk to him, Michelle! I just can't!" Amy grabbed Michelle by the shoulders and shook her as she stated emphatically, "Tell him I'm sick and I'll call him back later. Oh," she moaned as she flopped backwards onto the bed and covered her face with her arm.

"Calm down, Amy. Tell who, wha --OH! It's Thursday, isn't it? OK, ok, I'll answer the phone." Michelle hopped off the bed and paced the small open area of the dorm room. "Let's just both calm down and I'll handle it. It'll be all right, Amy. I'll take care of it."

Every Thursday at 8 am Texas time, Bobby called Amy from his office in Germany. It was their way of staying in touch in between letters. The time difference meant that Bobby could call Amy during his afternoon break and wake her up, something he had started doing several times a week while Amy 

was living with her parents in Germany. These phone calls had become treasured time together, but now Amy was terrified at the thought of hearing his voice.

The shrill ring of the phone on the wall shook them both. Michelle wiped her suddenly sweaty palms on the legs of her pajama pants, and with a glance at Amy, bravely reached over and answered the phone.

"Hello?" Michelle hoped and prayed her voice sounded calm.

"Hi, Michelle! It's Bobby. Is Amy there?"

"Oh, hello, Bobby. How are you?"

"Fine," Bobby answered, starting to feel skeptical about Michelle's tone of voice. "Is everything OK?"

"Yes, I mean, no. No, everything is not OK. Amy isn't feeling very well this morning." Michelle looked at Amy while she was talking. Amy nodded in encouragement and signaled with her hand for Michelle to keep going.

"What's wrong," Bobby asked, now getting worried.

"Oh, it's just a nasty stomach virus that's going around the dorm," she replied. Michelle crossed the fingers of her other hand and closed her eyes, praying that she sounded truthful. "It's really horrible stuff. I had it last week and it knocked me flat on my back for most of the week. We had hoped Amy wouldn't get it, but…."

"Sounds awful. Is she up to letting me talk to her? Please?"

"I don't know. Let me ask her. She was really bad sick just a little while ago. I don't know if she feels up to talking to anyone right now." Michelle continued looking at Amy, and covered the mouth piece with her hand. "Amy," she said gently, pretending she was standing next to her, "It's Bobby; he wants to know if you're up to talking to him. He feels really terrible about you being sick."

She paused for a moment, and Amy made what she hope sounded like a sick, mumbled response.

Michelle uncovered the phone and spoke to Bobby again. "I'm sorry Bobby, she really feels lousy right now and doesn't want to talk. I'll tell her you called, though." She listened for a minute, then hung up the phone and turned to look at Amy.

"Whew! You know you're going to have to tell him, Amy. He's the father, right?"

Amy nodded mutely, still lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"So, just exactly how did you end up in this situation? OK, I know how you got pregnant. What I want to know is how did you end up doing that? After all Rodger put you through, and the promise you made to yourself…..well, Bobby must be someone really special for you to have put yourself out there like that."



Amy looked at Michelle and blushed deep crimson red at the memory of their last weekend together.

"Oh, my," was all Michelle could say as she stared at her. "He really IS special. Care to share?"

"The Saturday before I left, Mom woke me up with breakfast in bed. It was my favorite breakfast and there was a rose on the tray and a note. I asked Mom if this meant we were moving again. She laughed and said no, that I was to eat up, get dressed and go downstairs. The note was unsigned and read, 'My favorite lady's favorite breakfast.' Naturally, this got my curiosity going, and I couldn't wait to get downstairs. Mom and Dad said they knew only part of what was going on and who had planned it all. I was to follow all these notes and clues around the area and Dad was to drive me. The car was a red convertible sports car that I had been dying to drive while I was there.

"Bobby had planned the whole thing! It was totally awesome! We ended up at the USO where we had first met, then Mom came and picked up Dad and I got to drive the car up into the mountains for a romantic picnic and…..well…..one thing led to another, and I guess I really showed him how just how much I appreciated all he had done for me….." her voice trailed away at the memory and she blushed again.

"Michelle, he had remembered all these little things about me that I had dropped in our numerous conversations. Things like roses being my favorite flower, so each clue had a red rose with it. He remembered that I wanted to take him on a picnic up in the mountains before I left, so that was where we went after I "found" him.

"I had gotten all excited one day when a red convertible sports car was parked next to mine after one of our dates; he rented that exact same type of car for my scavenger hunt date! Can you believe it?

"I've never had ANYONE pay that kind of close attention to me. Rodger could never remember that I love peaches and vanilla yogurt for breakfast, and I only mentioned it once to Bobby! Once! And he remembered!

"The whole summer he never pushed me for a kiss, or for anything more than a hug and holding hands. I told him about the whole Rodger and Kenneth fiasco at lunch, we'd been seeing each other about a month by then, and he sympathized with me not wanting to open myself up too much and setting myself up to be hurt really bad again. He respected me, Michelle. I've never been respected by a man before. I mean Rodger and I got along great, and we had very strong feelings for one another, but, Bobby…..Bobby was so different. You know? He GOT me."

Amy looked intently at Michelle.

"Wow! You really fell hard for him, didn't you," Michelle asked her softly.

Amy just stared at her. Finally her eyes got really big and she said softly, "I guess I did. What am I going to do now, Michelle? I've screwed everything up, totally and completely."