AN: Thanks for the reviews. And this will lighten up a bit in another chapter or two.

Chapter 4/14

Grissom watched Catherine as she slept, curled into a tight ball holding onto a stuffed animal he recognized as once belonging to Lindsey. He hated to wake her and interrupt her brief respite from the emotional pain she was suffering.

As he watched her continuing to snuggle with the stuffed panda he noticed the remnants of tears still on her face. He observed how wildly her hair was strewn across the pillow as she remained oblivious to his presence. Just as he was considering the best way to wake her, an alarm clock sounded causing him to jump slightly. He watched as she groaned before sitting up sleepily, turning off the alarm before noticing him. "What are you doing here?" She asked in apparent surprise as she stretched further into wakefulness.

"Jim's here and needs to talk to you, so I came to wake you up. I didn't know about the alarm." He said quietly as he watched her, studying her closely as she seemed to be waking up rather casually considering the events of the day.

"I always set my alarm for 4:00 that way I'm up when Lindsey gets home from school." She said, looking at him strangely as she tried to process why he was in her room.

Grissom could tell the precise moment that the flood of awareness hit her as the grief stricken look returned to her face.

"It wasn't a nightmare?" She stated, already beginning to shake from the aftershocks of the realization.

His heart went out to her as he saw the agonized look return to her eyes as they silently pleaded with him to tell her it really was all a dream. Moving to her side he put his arm around her, holding her as she began to sob anew. "My baby is dead," she said brokenly, saying it out loud for the first time as she started trembling harder before she repeated it again.

Knowing he had to break her mantra Grissom shook her slightly to bring her attention back to the reason he was there. "Jim's outside, are you ready to talk to him?" He asked, hoping to redirect her focus for just a minute. He didn't want to seem cold, but knew he had to help her get through this next part of the formalities.

Catherine sniffled a couple more times, as she struggled to pull herself together. Grissom was amazed at how quickly she was able to transform herself as she went to the bathroom to wash her face and then rejoined him to return to the living room to meet with Jim to go through what she knew had to happen next. So many times she had been the one present as a detective had to break the news and share accident details with family members who had lost loved ones, but now it was her turn. She almost felt as if she was watching from the outside as she numbly sat down next to Grissom on the couch. She listened quietly and absorbed every detail as Jim gave an edited version of what had apparently happened that morning. After he finished he paused to allow her time to ask any question she might have.

"Are you sure it happened that way?" She asked after he finished. "Did you check to make sure there weren't any other drivers involved? Did any of her friends say why she was skipping class to go to the mall? How long did it take rescue to reach the scene? Why weren't they pulled over? Did she die on the scene or on the way?" Once she started, the questions seemed to spew from Catherine's mouth as she tried to make sense of what Jim was telling her. Though her voice cracked with the last question and she couldn't ask any more.

"Yes we're sure that's the way it happened," Jim answered her solemnly. "We have eyewitness accounts that rule out a hit and run, also there was no other paint on the car. And there was no time for them to be pulled over it happened so suddenly. Rescue reached the scene in less than five minutes, but according to Doctor Robbins she died on impact. She probably didn't feel a thing it happened so fast," he tried to say gently, trying to ignore the memory of those final terrified screams he had heard on the recording. "Cause of death was massive head trauma," Jim continued slowly, "when the car hit the wall at that speed all three girls were thrown through the windshield and into the wall. The sisters were apparently in front seats and Lindsey was leaning through the middle." He had anticipated her next question from the look of surprise in her eyes when he mentioned all three of them being thrown out the front.

"Thanks Jim," Catherine finally said, unable to think of any more questions for the detective, knowing that he had told her what she needed to know as best he could, and knowing she could trust him to tell her the facts. The pain had been evident in his eyes as he related the events. She knew he could easily have sent someone less involved to handle it, but appreciated that he had done it himself, and that at least, the details had come from a friend, not a detached officer.

"Catherine, if you need anything…" He started after a moment of silence, feeling the futility of his words even as he said them. What she needed was the one thing he couldn't deliver, and that was to have her daughter back.

"Thanks Jim," she said sadly, trying to show him she appreciated his offer, even though she too realized that there was really nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do right now.

Jim gave her a warm hug before stepping back to say his farewell. "Take good care of her," he said to Grissom as he left. He knew that Gil would, but it still seemed the right thing to say as he watched how protectively he stood by her.

"Would you like something to eat, or drink?" Gil offered after the detective had parted, pushing away his thoughts of Lindsey for a moment to focus on her mother.

"No, I just want to go back to bed," Catherine said slowly as she looked longingly at her bedroom door, already wanting again to escape the reality of what had happened.

"When was the last time you ate?" Grissom persisted, knowing that if she had followed her normal schedule she hadn't eaten since midnight during their shift.

"I'm not hungry." She reiterated, almost angry that anyone could think of food at a time like this.

"Look, why don't you take a relaxing bath and then go back to bed." Grissom suggested, trying to think of something to try and help her feel better.

"Gil, I just lost my daughter, I really don't want to fight with you about what I should be doing right now," she said dully, the pain evident in her eyes as she looked at him. "I know what I need, and that's to go back to bed." She said slowly, even as she opened her bedroom door and shut it behind her, escaping to the cool darkness of the room.

Grissom stood rooted to his spot outside her door as he heard her begin to sob anew as fresh waves of grief enveloped her. Hoping he was doing the right thing he turned and went to the kitchen.

When he returned to the door several minutes later he could still hear her sobs which told him she hadn't yet gone back to sleep. He rapped gently before opening it up to see her curled almost in a fetal position as her shoulders shook from the force of her crying.

"I brought you something," he said gently, causing her to sit up warily as she eyed what he had in his hand. "I know you don't have an appetite, but you don't need to get sick on top of all this. It's just a strawberry-banana smoothie to help keep your blood sugar from dropping." He coaxed her as he neared the bed. She didn't argue as she sighed and wordlessly took it from his hand, drinking it mechanically, not even tasting it as it went down. "Thought you might want this also," he added as he opened the bottle of valium and extracted one tablet to give her. "It'll help you sleep better." He stated the obvious, even as she took it without argument. After she finished the smoothie she handed the glass back to him, trying to ignore the nausea she felt from having something on her stomach.

Grissom hoped he wasn't overdoing his caretaker role as he went into the bathroom to get a wet cloth, knowing from experience with his migraines how much difference a cool wet cloth over your face could make. She again offered no words, yet no resistance as he helped her place it over her forehead before quietly exiting the room to let her gain a few more hours of escape. He thought he heard a soft "thank you" behind him as he left, but he wasn't sure.

As he sat down again on the sofa he realized just how tired he was also. It had been almost twenty four hours since he had last slept. He also knew that while things were quiet now, in a few more hours her sister Nancy would be arriving. She had been on a business trip in southern California when Grissom reached her with the news and she was already on her way back. Deciding he should catch at least a little sleep while he could, he curled up on the couch, closing his eyes. He tried in vain to avoid the images trying to flicker across his minds eye like an old home movie he saw Lindsey in her mothers arms at the hospital, then learning to ride her first bicycle, performing in a school play, laughing at her birthday party, waving at him in that yellow shirt just a few days ago, and then the awful image of her still body from their visit to the morgue. Even in a state of exhaustion and near sleep he could feel the burning of tears pricking his eyes as a few escaped and trickled down his cheek before sleep claimed him.