I never had a childhood. Really I was never a kid. I never could be. Princes did not run around and chase others. Princes did not get drunk off their father's favorite wine. Princes did not do anything but sit with their noses in the air, higher than everyone. And then there was banishment. No emotion. I had to learn that. And to do that I had to grow up. The words constantly followed me. "Grow up, Zuko." "That's so childish, Zuko." "How irresponsible. That's what a child would do." And so, I grew up.
I watched Aang as he sat with General How to plan the invasion of Omashu. He was sitting on my left side fidgeting constantly. He looked to me out of the corner of his eyes and seemed to realize that no one else was moving. He tried to sit like me. Perfectly still, with my back perfectly straight and my head raised just so. He failed miserably and seemed to realize that. He slouched once again.
When the meeting let out, he walked away, looking defeated. I knew he just was at odds with being the youngest one in a room. I knew what that was like. I didn't see him at diner later that night and Katara went to check on him. She came back looking disturbed and a bit angry. She picked up his food plate and walked back to his tent. She returned sometime later, the food untouched.
It was late at night and I knew I should be sleeping. I was a firebender. Up with the sun and my body would not let me do otherwise. However, tonight I couldn't sleep. And whenever I couldn't sleep, I always looked to the night sky for comfort. I don't really know why, but I do. It all seems so peaceful and quiet at night. I like that. Sometimes it's nice just loosing yourself in the tranquility of the time.
I wasn't alone tonight though. Aang came out a bit later. He looked tired. He looked surprised when he saw me out. He wasn't sure that I saw him as I had observed all this from my corner vision. He hesitated as if he was going to go back inside, but decided against it. He moved next to me.
"Shouldn't you be asleep?" he asked me.
"Shouldn't you?" I pointed out. We were silent.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked.
"Dunno. Just couldn't sleep," I answered. "What's wrong with you?"
"I can't do it. How can I get people to take me seriously if I keep acting like a kid? But whenever I try and act like an adult, I do something even stupider. I tried to sit like you during the meeting. Lots of people thought I was doing it as a joke," he burst out as if the words had somehow been contained within him.
"Don't do it. Just act like a kid. You are a kid and you should enjoy it. Your childhood is precious because once you're an adult…there's no going back," I sighed.
"Look who's talking," Aang shot back.
"Yeah. Take it especially from the guy who's had no childhood okay? I never got to be a kid and looking at you guys, I'm starting to think that having one could have been fun. But I'll never be able to have one because I'm too much of an adult," I told him, frankly.
"You really think so?" Aang asked, hopefully.
"Yeah."
"So how did you learn how to sit like that? It's so uncomfortable," Aang asked, some of his earlier bubbliness showing through.
"The nurses teach you well. Pretty much if you slouch even a little, they'll put you on a backboard for hours. It's a good method."
"What's a backboard?"
"Pretty much it's like a straight piece of whatever sturdy material they can find. They pretty much tie you to it so you have to sit up straight. It's not very comfortable." Aang winced. "Anyway. I'm getting tired and I'm getting up at sunrise tomorrow, so goodnight," I excused myself. Small talk wasn't really my thing.
"Goodnight," he said. "And Zuko?" he waited till I turned, "thanks."