Anime Jeopardy

Here's the second game. Oh, and you know I only own Charles Tolle. And despite what you may see later in the series, I am not a pervert, I am not gay, I do not abuse any drugs or drink, and I am not mentally ill. I hope.

Episode 2/ Part I

Charles- Welcome to Anime Jeopardy. For those of you who'd rather read a book, I understand and I'd advise it. Today's contestants are Skwisgaar Skwigelt from Sweden, Misty Waterflower of Cerulean City, and Nara Shikamaru of Konohagakure. Let's play the first round with these categories: METALOCALYPSE, NARUTO, NINTENDO, THIS IS SPARTA, FAMOUS VAGABONDS, and ONE OF THESE IS NOT A VEGETABLE. Okay, Shikamaru won the coin toss, but Misty got nude, so she'll go first.

Misty- I'll take This is Sparta for 100.

Charles- This Spartan shouted the words that make this category. Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar- Who is Austin Power? ()

Charles- No, he's not even Greek. Shikamaru.

Shikamaru- Who is Leonidus?

Charles- That's 100 for you. Select.

Shikamaru- What a drag. Okay, I'll take One of These is not a Vegetable for 100.

Charles- Carrot, bell pepper, gorgonzola. Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar- Whats is carrots? ()

Charles- No. Misty.

Misty- What is gorgonzola?

Charles- Correct, that's a cheese. Select.

Misty- Metalocalypse for 100.

Charles- This Dethklok member has an unknown name. Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar- Who is Pickle?

Charles- Yes. Select.

Skwisgaar- I'll takes Famous Vaginobs for 100s.

Charles- You mean Famous Vagabonds.

Skwisgaar- Yah, that.

Charles- This vagabond will box for food. Shikamaru.

Shikamaru- Who is Stallone?

Charles- Correct. Select.

Shikamaru- Nintendo for 100.

Charles- Wow, it's only the second game and we're actually getting somewhere. Okay, this fat-ass smells like garlic and is known as Mario's polar opposite. Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar- Whos is Sonic? ()

Charles- No, he's not even a Nintendo character.

Skwisgaar- Buts he was ins Super Smash Brother.

Charles- Yes, but he's not a Nin...

Skwisgaar- Bullshits! It's Sonic!

Misty- Can you even speak English?

Shikamaru- Yeah, he speaks it, and very horribly. I think I want to go home.

Skwisgaar- Then gets up and goes. I don'ts care.

Charles- All of you shut up! Just! Shut! Up! We'll be right back.

Episode 2/ Part II

Charles- All right, we're back on Anime Jeopardy. So Skwisgaar, the world's fastest guitarist can't read music.

Skwisgaar- Yes, I haves music dys-klex-ia. I can'ts read musics.

Charles- So, have you ever taken a dump in a cereal box in the middle of a supermarket?

Skwisgaar- No, but I heards Murderface once peeds in olive.

Charles- Yes, I also heard about that. Okay, Misty. Are you in love with Ash-hole?

Misty- No, and you saw yesterday what a stupid jerk he can be.

Charles- I did, but what about that evil message written about me in his urine and your handwriting?

Misty- I swear it's May's handwriting!

Charles- Hehehe! Shikamaru, please tell me why you hate everything.

Shikamaru- Life can be boring when you know all the answers.

Charles- Is there a bee up your butt?

Shikamaru- As a matter of fact, there's a whole damn hive.

Charles- Okay, I don't want to know any more. Well, Skwisgaar messed up his last question, so Shikamaru, make a selection. Uh, Skwisgaar, you can't ring in yet.

Skwisgaar- Buts the games is on.

Charles- Shikamaru hasn't chosen yet.

Skwisgaar- Whats is Dethklok?

Charles- Arrrrgh! Skwisgaar, put down the damn buzzer.

Shikamaru- I'll take Vegetable for 200.

Charles- Answer: carrot, bell pepper, zirconium. Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar- Whats is carrots? ()

Charles- No, Skwisgaar! We know that a carrot is a vegetable. You're at -400! How stupid are you?

Skwisgaar- I don'ts know hows to answers that.

Charles- Well, time's up. Zirconium, of course, is a chemical element that is a metal, not a vegetable, but you already knew that. Shikamaru.

Shikamaru- Naruto for 800.

Charles- This Hidden Leaf Shinobi could suck the chrome off a fender. Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar- Who is Sasukes? ()

Charles- No! Skwisgaar, shut the hell up! And stop ringing in, you're already at -1 200 and I don't think you want to lose any more money. I'm really not kidding.

BOOM!!

Skwisgaar- Whats happeneds?

Charles- The podiums are set up so that if you ring in a certain number of times on one question, something bad will happen to you, so shut the hell up! Misty.

Misty- Who is Shikamaru? ()

Shikamaru- No, I can't suck. Who is Kiba?

Charles- Correct. Did you actually see him do it?

Shikamaru- Yeah, and it was weird as hell. I'll take This is Sparta for 500.

Charles- This Spartan has a tendency to kick people into pits while screaming, "This! Is! Sparta!" Skwisgaar, I'm not calling on you.

Skwisgaar- Who is Solids Snake? ()

Charles- No. -1 700 for you. Misty.

Misty- Who is Leonidus?

Charles- 500 points for you. Choose.

Misty- Vegetable for 500.

Charles- Carrot, bell pepper, nuclear missile. Skwisgaar, for the love of God, do not answer!

Skwisgaar- Whats is bells pepper? ()

Charles- Arrrrgh! Well, at least you understand that a carrot is a vegetable. But you're still wrong. Shikamaru.

Shikamaru- What is a nuclear missile?

Charles- Yes. Well, you slow idiots have eaten all the time, so stick around for Double Jeopardy if you have a death wish.

Episode 2/ Part III

Charles- If you're still watching this, I pity you. If you are a Dethklok fan like everyone else, don't kill me. It's not my fault Skwisgaar's an idiot. Also, I'd like to apologize to the in studio audience for what happened during the commercial break, and I'd like to assure everyone that our contestants have all stopped sweating. Because we managed 3 questions in One of These is not a Vegetable and 2 questions in This is Sparta, those categories will be replaced and refreshed. The new categories are WILL IT HURT TO PEE and ONE OF THESE IS A VEGETABLE. Skwisgaar, you are in third, so unfortunately, it is your choice. Please choose before I shoot myself.

Skwisgaar- Um, I'lls take Famous Vaginob for 1 000.

Charles- It's vagabonds. Answer: Mike's friend. Okay, Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar- Whos is Nealon? ()

Charles- Right show, wrong man. Sucks to be you. Misty.

Misty- Who is Carvey?

Charles- Yes. Pick. (Misty starts picking her nose.) That's disgusting, and you're on live YouTube.

Misty- Uh, how about One of These is a Vegetable for 400.

Charles- Carrot, bell pepper, onion. Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar- Whats is an apples? ()

Charles- I'm nicking you double, and here's why: apple is not a choice, and it's not a vegetable. Misty.

Misty- Uh, what is… wait, what was the question? ()

Charles- Shikamaru.

Shikamaru- What is an onion?

Charles- Correct. Select.

Shikamaru- What was the point of that? They were all vegetables.

Charles- I know. It was to keep the game moving. All three of those were vegetables, and the Swede to your left still screwed up. Now choose.

Shikamaru- This sucks. Okay, Will It Hurt to Pee for 200.

Charles- Daily Double. Any or all of that 1 900.

Shikamaru- …

Charles- We're waiting.

Shikamaru- …Okay, 1 885.

Charles- Really? Your choice. Skwisgaar, you can't ring in.

Skwisgaar- Yes, I cans. I ams rights now.

Charles- No, this is for Shikamaru only.

BOOM!!

Charles- Serves you right. Okay, answer: If I repeatedly beat you in the crotch with a cactus branch.

Shikamaru- …Uh…What is no? ()

Charles- You are an idiot with an IQ of 200. Who are you, Wile E. Coyote? Of course it'll hurt to pee. Choose.

Shikamaru- …

Charles- We don't have all freakin' night!

Shikamaru- Vagabonds for 200.

Charles- He used to rock and roll all night. Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar- Who is Skwigelt? ()

Charles- You're Skwigelt, you dumb-ass! Misty.

Misty- Who is Criss?

Charles- Yes. Go.

Misty- 500, same category.

Charles- He's sitting on nails now. Skwisgaar, I'll just take your money now and go to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru- Who is MC Hammer?

Charles- Yes.

Shikamaru- Finish it.

Charles- He is no longer bonded to the screen. Skwisgaar, you'd better have a damn good answer.

Skwisgaar- Who is Connery?

Charles- I'll be damned, he's right for the second time today. Choose.

Skwisgaar- Vaginobs for 700.

Charles- There is nothing for 700, and we've exhausted the vagabond category.

Skwisgaar- I wants Famous Vaginob fors 700!

Charles- Misty, choose.

Misty- How about Nintendo for 200.

Charles- This elf wants his princess to excuse him in a crappy cartoon. Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar- Whos is Wario? ()

Charles- Goddammit, if you'd said that earlier, you wouldn't be so far in the hole. No. Misty.

Misty- Who is Link?

Charles- Yes. Pick an answer and not your nose.

Misty- Let's see, Naruto for 1 000.

Charles- Daily Double. What'll it be?

Misty- All of it.

Charles- This guy sanded Lee's ass hard.

Misty- Who is Kankuro? ()

Charles- Right village, right family, wrong child. It was Gaara. Well, it's time for Final Jeopardy, you slowpokes. Pick one of the original categories and that'll be Final Jeopardy's topic and question. Whoever's first. Shikamaru.

Shikamaru- Metalocalypse for 1 000.

Charles- Answer: This headbanger is not a bumblebee. 30 seconds. ( ) Time's up. We'll start with Skwisgaar. You can write, I hope.

Skwisgaar- Yah. Heres it is.

Charles- That's a crappy stick figure playing a crappy guitar. How much less? 900. You know enough math to end at an even -5 000. (pulls lever and Skwisgaar is electrocuted to death) Misty, you drew a rough map. What is that and why did you draw it?

Misty- I drew a map back to the airport so that I don't get lost when I leave the studio.

Charles- Irrelevant. And you won't be leaving the studio. (pulls lever) Shikamaru, I hope you wrote Toki Wartooth.

Shikamaru- Why didn't you look at her wager?

Charles- Because she probably was not going to win. See, her wager was 2. How likely would she have won with -2? Anyway, you wrote "Who is Explosion?" and bet 520. Wow, she actually won. I don't believe it.

Shikamaru- You might want to wait next time before you kill someone.

Charles- Well, even though you lost, you're still leaving here alive. Be grateful I'm letting you live. That's all for today.

Anyone get the Weird Al reference? Think this is better? Worse? The same? If you want to figure out the scores for the early games, get a calculator.