Anime Jeopardy
Here's the fifth game. Oh, and you know I only own Charles Tolle. Just so you know after reading the fourth game, I am in no way sexist. Charles Tolle is simply a completely fictional manifestation of me.
Episode 5
Charles- Huh, welcome to the fifth game of Anime Jeopardy. Wow, we lasted a whole goddamn week. I don't know why the ignorant masses like this bad programming. I guess it has something to do with them being ignorant. Today's contestants are Marth, Ed Elrich, and King Wapol of Tin from Drum Kingdom. King Wapol, do you swear not to eat anything or kill anyone because this is merely a friendly game of trivia?
Wapol- Yes.
Charles- Do you swear on your life?
Wapol- Yes.
Charles- All right. Since you're the king, I'll let you go first, but for the record, Marth won the coin toss. Today's first round categories are: POTENT POTABLES, OBJECTS THAT START WITH "B" AND RHYME WITH "OOK", YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY (which takes lyrics from the Weird Al song, so you'll all probably do better on the next categories) COLD STEEL, KoRn, and BREAD. Where do we start?
Wapol- Wapol is great for 1 000.
Charles- Wapol, that is not a category on the board. Take a look and make a selection.
Ed- He can take a look, but I don't think he'll make a selection due to his illiteracy.
Charles- You're probably right. Okay, Marth, you choose.
Wapol- But I'm the king!
Charles- And here you're a contestant.
Marth- And I'm the prince who won the coin toss. Cold Steel for 1 000.
Charles- Starting high. This piece of steel spawned a fiend. Wapol.
Wapol- Who is the glorious King Wapol? ()
Charles- No.
Wapol- But I'm the king!
Charles- You're gonna lose another 1 000 if you don't shut up.
Wapol- But I'm the king!
Charles- I warned you. Thanks for wasting all the time on that question. It's Harusame. Okay, Marth, pick again.
Marth- Bread for 800.
Charles- Brown bread is… Ed.
Ed- What is pumpernickel?
Charles- Yes.
Ed- B Objects for 500.
Charles- The only object that… Wapol, you have to wait for me to finish.
Wapol- What is Drum Island?
Charles- No. Stop being difficult and shut the hell up. The only object in the world that starts with "B" and rhymes with "ook". Wapol, you've already rung in.
Wapol- What is a brook?
Charles- Well, I was looking for the word "book", but technically that fits the bill. I'll give you a quarter of the points on the basis of half from fitting the bill with a wrong response, and half of that because I don't like you. Select.
Wapol- Aha! I have just thought of a new law: Death to all who hate the king.
Charles- In a minute, I'm going to take those 125 points I really was not supposed to give you. Now choose a damn category.
Wapol- I am righteous!
Charles- Marth, you choose.
Marth- I'm a fan of KoRn, so let's go there for 200.
Charles- All right, answer: The lead singer of the band. Wapol.
Wapol- Who is Chess? ()
Charles- I don't think your subordinate is a metal vocalist. Marth.
Marth- Who is Davis?
Charles- Correct. Pick again.
Wapol- Why is this? I am the KING! I! AM! KING!
Charles- I don't give a shit who you are. Shouting at me will not help your sorry ass win, you crappy excuse for a living thing. Do that again, and I will double your debt.
Wapol- Try me, peasant.
Charles- You asked for it. Ed, why don't you choose this time.
Ed- B Objects for 100.
Charles- Other than a brook I put that in myself it fits the category's criteria. Wapol, I hope you're right.
Wapol- What is a brook? ()
Charles- Wapol, you are shit-deep in the red because you're an idiot who doesn't listen! Ed.
Ed- What is a book?
Charles- Yes!
Wapol- You will die if you defy me! I am your king!
Ed- Screw monarchies. Hell, screw all politics.
Marth- I am a prince of a kingdom. The whole world isn't yours, Wapol.
Wapol- I don't care! I am the king!
Charles- That's it! I've had it with this prick of a king! We're going right to Final Jeopardy! Does everyone know how many sides a triangle has?
Marth/ Ed- Yes.
Charles- Good. ( ) Draw a freakin' triangle and wager. There's no way in hell you can screw this up. ( ) Time's up. Let's see how you managed to screw this up. Wapol drew a carachiture of himself on his hippo. That is not a triangle, so you'll lose 10 000. Oh, well. (pulls lever and Wapol is shot dead.) Marth, you've drawn a four-sided square. You just told me you know that triangles have three sides.
Marth- Yes, I do know that.
Charles- Can you explain why you drew a square?
Marth- I'm dyslexic.
Charles- Sorry, but that'll be…nothing. Smart man. Ed, you've drawn a lot of triangles that all appear to be two thirds finished. Care to explain?
Ed- I wanted perfect equilateral triangles, but the angles kept coming out wrong.
Charles- I didn't say they had to be perfect, I just said you had to draw a triangle. That is going to be…half. Marth, I'm going to let you leave alive because you are not annoying like Wapol.
Marth- Thank you.
Charles- That's it for this week and hopefully forever. This is Charles Tolle signing off Anime Jeopardy and signing on for ACDM. Goodnight for this brief commercial break.
For those of you wondering after reading this, yes, KoRn is my favorite metal band. But sadly for Charles Tolle, there is more than another week of games to come.