Anime Jeopardy

Here's the eighth game. Oh, and you know I only own Charles Tolle. This one has a strange ending, but you'll see him show up again in a cameo role.

Episode 8/ Part I

Charles- Welcome to the eighth game of Anime Jeopardy. Needless to say, I want to kill myself. Today's contestants are Haruno Sakura, Wolfina Getto, and Usopp. I hope you all take this game seriously and play well so that I have some motivation left in me to live. If you don't, I'll kill myself after this game in front of everyone. I'm not joking. Okay, the women were voted the smartest people, and they both took off their shirts. Wolfina has a better set, but Sakura's the one who put her thumbs in her panties, so she picks first from one of these categories: OPPOSITES, KONOHAGAKURE, JOURNALISM, LYING, POTPOURRI, and FAMOUS BLACK JEWISH WATCHMAKERS. Where are we going to start?

Sakura- How about, oh, I don't know, Konohagakure for 200.

Charles- This village hidden in the leaves is known as… Wolfina.

Wolfina- Um, what is Brazil? ()

Charles- No. Usopp.

Usopp- I went to a village like that. It was up in the trees, and do you know what the people called me when I saved them from the giant monkey? ()

Sakura- We called you the idiot who beat his captain in a game of checkers. What is Konohagakure?

Charles- Good, we've found an actual brain. Pick again.

Sakura- See, this is what happens when you actually use your brain. Nyah nyah to you.

Usopp- Can I pick a category? I'll take Sakura is a bitch for 1 000.

Wolfina- Good call, Captain Usopp. Can I interview you after the show?

Usopp- Of course you, may, Wolfina. And I shall tell you about all my…

Charles- I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF, SO LET'S GET BACK TO THE GAME! I'll pick a category. Opposites for 500. The answer is: This is the opposite of hot. You can say what Alvida is or what Finland is. I know you know this. Ah, Wolfina. The opposite of hot.

Wolfina- Uh, is it, is it inky? ()

Charles- I don't know what in the world would make you think that.

Wolfina- Well, I heard someone say she had a hot-ass new pen, so I figured that it used something more efficient than ink. Thus, I say inky, and that's the answer I'll stick with.

Sakura- What is cold, or ugly?

Charles- That's a double reward, for both of the acceptable answers.

Usopp- Oh, come the fuck on! That's favoritism! The host is supposed to be impartial.

Charles- The Titan Nerd Network does not work like the other networks. We work the way its owner, me, says it works. I do what I want. And while I'm no longer allowed to kill contestants, I am allowed to give electric shocks. And I have no problem doing so. (points at podiums and hits a button on the remote to give Usopp a jolting) That was so you could see that I was not joking. Now back to the game before time runs out. Sakura, still your board.

Sakura- I'll take Potpourri for 800.

Charles- You got the Daily Double. Because I like you, you can wager past your current 1 200.

Sakura- Okay, I'll wager 10 000.

Charles- And I know you know the answer, which is: What happens when a white rock is thrown into the black sea? Usopp, you can't ring in until Sakura gets it incorrect.

Usopp- Charles, the only reason your bullshit isn't fooling me is because you're not as good a bullshitter as Kuro. He's the best bullshitter around, and your bullshit is…()

Charles- If I take 10 000 from you, will you shut up?

Usopp- You cut me off. As I was saying, you…()

Charles- That's another 10 000. Sakura, do you know the answer?

Sakura- What is the stone gets wet?

Charles- That's correct.

Sakura- Will you get me wet after the game?

Charles (sputtering)- Well, I, uh, hehhehheh, you do know I have a girlfriend, and we have a date tonight, but I, I, I, I guess we can have a threesome. But I thought you like Sasuke.

Sakura- He's about this. (holds her fingers apart) Potpourri for 1 000.

Charles- Name any song by Funkadelic. Wolfina.

Wolfina- Funkadelic does not exist. ()

Charles- Yes, it does.

Wolfina- In your world, but not in mine.

Charles- Fuck your world. Usopp.

Usopp- What is Lose It? ()

Charles- No, that's Eminem. Didn't you watch Zolo on Game 6?

Usopp- No. You said not to watch it.

Charles- I probably did. Sakura.

Sakura- What is Knee Deep?

Charles- That's correct.

Wolfina- You really are a bullshitter. You let Sakura answer after her time was up.

Charles- That's your opinion. Sakura, pick again.

Sakura- Eat it, Wolfina. Chew it, savor it, and enjoy it. Lying for 100.

Charles- The answer is: This puppet is known for lying. Usopp.

Usopp- Charles Tolle. ()

Charles- Usopp, I am not a puppet.

Usopp- Well, you're at least a tool.

Charles- Yes, Sakura, what's the answer?

Sakura- Who is Pinnocchio?

Charles- That's correct!

Wolfina- That's it! I'm sick of this show! I'm leaving.

Charles- You can't leave until I say you can. And this is the best game ever! It's the only one where I don't feel like killing myself.

Usopp- Wolfina and I are going to kill you when this game's over.

Charles- Go ahead, try it. I'll make it up to you. Wolfina, you can pick the next category.

Wolfina- Well, if you insist on it, I'll take Opposites for 100.

Charles- Answer: This is the opposite of fast. Sakura. Not fast enough, Wolfina.

Sakura- Or should he say, too slow?

Wolfina- This is some fucking bullshit.

Usopp- I pick this one, you know.

Charles- Of course, Usopp. Go ahead.

Usopp- All right, give me Konohagakure for 800.

Charles- This Hidden Leaf Ninja is known for constantly finding ways to open up thrift stores that sell useless trinkets, like copies of Naruto at high prices. Usopp.

Usopp- It's Shino. ()

Charles- That's really not the right answer.

Usopp- The way you phrased that is very suspicious.

Charles- Sorry. Wolfina.

Wolfina- Tenten. ()

Charles (mockingly)- Sorry. Sakura.

Sakura- Who is Tenten?

Wolfina- Charles, you are a cocksucker!

Charles- No, this is Jeopardy.

Wolfina- I'm about to put you in some jeopardy. (starts to charge Charles)

Charles- We'll be right back.

Episode 8/ Part II

Charles- Welcome back to Anime Jeopardy. If you are in the in-studio audience, just remember that what happens during the commercial breaks in Anime Jeopardy stays in the commercial breaks of Anime Jeopardy. That said, let's take a look at the scores. Usopp is in third place with -22 100. So, tell me, Usopp, I hear a lot about you being a brave pirate captain of the seas, when other reports tell me that you're just a pussy. Which set of reports is true?

Usopp- You know what I'm going to say. And I would be winning if your corrupt ass hosted this show right.

Charles- If you don't think I'm doing a good job, you can always try to host yourself. That would be something I'd like a lot. Wolfina Getto is in second place with -2 500.

Wolfina- I'm going to say the same as Usopp. About you, that is.

Charles- Okay. So, is it true that you slept with Gamma seven times in order to summon Gra'gzhor V of the Chess Pawn People?

Wolfina- Where the hell do you come up with this?

Charles- Getting high a lot helps. And finally, Haruno Sakura is in first place in a real commanding lead with 13 200.

Sakura- And all thanks to you, Charles. You're rewarding me on the show. I'll reward you after it.

Charles- Sorry, but I can't do that.

Sakura- You'll change your mind.

Charles- Back to the game. Sakura, you had the last correct response, so you get to pick first.

Sakura- Thanks for the honor, Charles. I'll take Konohagakure for 1 000.

Charles- All right, here it is: Naruto takes place in this village hidden in the leaves called Konohagakure. Usopp.

Usopp- Before you start the clock, let me speak. You really should not watch this crap because it's clearly corrupt, not to mention brutal. But I'm forgiving Charles's corrupt style because it's almost never he gets competent contestants. So if you're going to play the game, play it right.

Charles- Thank you, Usopp. I have to reward such kindness. You're guaranteed half for defending me, and you can win the rest if you tell me the answer.

Usopp- What is Brooklyn? ()

Charles- I'm sorry, but what did you say about playing this game correctly?

Usopp- I guessed. I didn't know the answer.

Charles- I told you what the answer was earlier.

Usopp- Sorry, but I probably wasn't paying attention. You were not hositing fairly there.

Charles- I should take the money back, but I won't. Wolfina.

Wolfina (takes a picture)- Hah! I got you on camera! Now I can take this and sell it to the papers in Alcantara. ()

Charles- That doesn't answer the question, and the people in Alcantara know what I look like because they probably watch this and ACDM.

Wolfina- Well, I can call Usopp over and we can work together to fabricate some amazing bullshit about you that will really ruin your career.

Charles- Trust me, Wolfina, this show is already ruining my career. (takes out a bong and takes a few puffs) And my life. And for the record, if you're planning on telling lies about someone, you don't talk about your plans on live YouTube. Sakura.

Sakura- Charles, you know the answer is Konohagakure.

Charles- That's correct. Wow. I want to keep going, but I'll end the round now because it's what I'm used to. It'll keep me regular. We'll be right back.

Episode 8/ Part III

Charles- And welcome back to Anime Jeopardy. Unfortunately, I've noticed that we can never escape happenings during breaks, and I would therefore like to apologize to all paraplegic Mormons and deaf German plumbers. That said, let's take a look at the scores. Haruno Sakura is in a commanding lead with 14 200.

Sakura- Eat it, Ino!

Charles- That's something I'd like to see. Ino, if you heard Sakura's comment, I might have a job for you with one of our contestants, who happens to be here with -2 600.

Wolfina- I'm straight, and I'm not a sex object.

Charles- You're also a bitch.

Wolfina- Someone's still upset about getting his ass kicked.

Charles- You're lucky I kept my clothes on. That means I don't respect you as an opponent. We can take this to the ACDM ring when the show's over. And finally in third place with an impressive -21 600, Usopp.

Usopp- That's Captain Usopp to you, sir.

Charles- No, it's Chicken Usopp to me, sir. Our Double Jeopardy categories are: ASS SHAKERS NAMED GEORGE, POTENT POTABLES, SHAKESPEARE, IS INHALING THIS ADDICTIVE, FAIRY TALES, and FIRST GRADE MATH. Okay, Sakura, you're in the lead, so I'll start with you.

Sakura- No, that's not fair. Give the losers a chance, too, Charles.

Charles- Okay, Wolfina's in second, so she goes first.

Wolfina- No, I don't.

Charles- Usopp, you lucky bastard.

Usopp- You really should have started with me because I'm in third place. Shakespeare for 1 000.

Charles- Okay, answer: These two lovers are the main stars of Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet. Wolfina.

Wolfina- Orsino and Viola. ()

Charles- Did you say that on purpose?

Wolfina- Yes. Why?

Charles- Just asking.

Wolfina- No, really, why did you ask?

Charles- I told you, no reason. Usopp.

Usopp- If I say Romeo and Juliet, will you give me the money?

Charles- Yes. Sakura.

Sakura- Who are Romeo and Juliet?

Charles- And that's also correct.

Wolfina- Wait, you just rewarded her double.

Charles- Yeah, well, if you'd shown them before the show like I'd asked, you wouldn't be where you are right now.

Sakura- You can join me, Charles, and his girlfriend after the show if you want, Wolfina. Let's see how he'll try to handle three girls.

Charles- It's getting a little too racy here. I'm going to skip to Final Jeopardy to save my sanity and keep my penis from exploding. The category is HORSIES. Your question is: Are horsies pretty? ( ) Yes or no are both acceptable answers. Maybe also works. There is no wrong answer, so you have to get this right. ( ) And time's up, so let's see if you got it right or not. We'll start with Usopp. You wrote down "Fuck you, Charles."

Usopp- That's for this entire game.

Charles- Okay. That's not a correct answer, though, so we'll have to look at your wager, which is "Suck a dick, Tolle."

Usopp- I wrote it all down.

Charles- And you're an ass-fuck. Wolfina, you wrote down…okay, that's just the photo you took of me earlier in the game.

Wolfina- I think it's a pretty good one.

Charles- It is, but that's not a right answer. I'm not going to look at your wager.

Wolfina (angrily)- Good, because I didn't wager anyway.

Charles- What a whiny bitch. Okay, Sakura, you wrote down "I win, guys!" You didn't answer, so I don't see how you won.

Sakura- I might not have won the game, but I won a bet I made with Ash and Sasuke.

Charles- Okay, I guess that's true. You wagered "Naruto was right." What the hell?

Sakura- Naruto, Sasuke, and I were talking about celebrities, and you came up. They thought you were gay because Ash seems to say that almost every time he's been on, which is twice. Anyway, I said that you were straight, and Ash joined us and said you were gay. Naruto then changed his argument after much thought, and said that you weren't all gay. You just have a thing for the human penis. So I bet them that Naruto was correct, and came on this show. You hit on me, you made all those sexy comments between scenes, and you liked it when I put my hands down my panties. (steps out from behind podium) Now feast your eyes on what's in my panties. (takes off pants and panties to reveal a penis) See, Charles? I've won the bet. Your erection is a dead giveaway.

Ash (poking his head in)- Wow, Naruto was right. But I do know Charles prefers male penises. Is that redundant?

Charles- Who the fuck let him in? And as of now, I officially hate my own penis. That's all for this game. This was Anime Jeopardy, I'm Charles Tolle, and I now hate Sakura. Good frickin' night.

Friendly trivia question: Who knows the SNL game I took Final Jeopardy from? You can tell me based on contestants, or the sexual category. Hope you enjoyed! I think the next one is another good one.