Kim luxuriated in the hot spray of the shower, letting the steaming water ease some of the tension out of her muscles. Tension that was building up faster than normal. This whole sitch is ferociously weird. At least it can't get any more bizarre.

"Oh man, I can't believe I just thought that. I'm totally jinxed now." The redhead slapped her forehead on her palm, then jumped as there was a thumping on the bathroom door. "Don't come in!" She squeaked, trying vainly to cover herself with her hands.

"Wasn't planning to, Princess." Shego's tone was amused, and Kim didn't need to see the green woman to picture the smug smile on those broad, dark lips. "I already saw all I needed through the keyhole."

"What?"

"Kidding, jeez." If anything, Shego's tone became more smug.

Kim sighed. She only keeps rubbing in that she's gay because I react to it. Gotta stop giving her the satisfaction and treat it like no big.

"What do you want, Shego?"

"Other than a lifetime supply of hot babes and to win this tournament? Just to tell you that the coffee's ready and our itinerary for the tournament has arrived. We can go over it as soon as you get your ass out of the shower."

"Why do you spend so much time talking about my butt?"

"It's a big topic. Lotta ground to cover."

Kim reddened and stomped her foot, nearly overbalancing when it slipped on the wet shower floor.

"I hate you!"

"I hate you too. Now hurry up. Your coffee's getting cold."

Ten minutes later Kim sat cross-legged on the end of the bed, now dressed and with her hair up in a towel. Shego was half-sitting, half-sprawling in the room's only chair, a thick ivory-colored card in her hand.

"I wanna see." Kim whined.

"Wait your turn." Shego grumped, then made the mistake of glancing up. The full force of the puppy dog pout hit her right between the eyes. "Look, making goofy faces isn't going to work."

The pout intensified.

"If the wind changes you'll stay that way."

Kim went to pout factor 11.

"Gah! Okay! You read the damn card." Shego frisbee'd it across to the redhead, who snatched it out of the air.

"Please and thank you." She scanned the card. "So, welcoming reception this afternoon. Beach barbeque tomorrow. 'Bring your swimming costume?' Well, duh. Farewell dinner on day three." She frowned.

"What's the matter, Princess?" Shego asked as she took a sip of her coffee. The green woman frowned at the slightly burned, bitter taste. "Or did you just try the coffee? This stuff is lousy."

"There's nothing on here about the tournament itself. When is that supposed to happen?"

"They won't give us any warning about the competition." The green woman explained. "We might get a mission in the middle of the night, or the middle of one of those functions. Or while you're hogging all the hot water again, tomorrow."

"You want me to time you when you have to wash your hair?" Kim eyed the other woman's long, dark mane, then returned her attention to the card. "Oh! It's got all the competitors on here, too."

"I have read it."

"Shego and Partner?" Kim frowned and shot the pale woman a grim look. "I don't even merit a name?"

"I only asked you two days ago!" Shego protested. "They probably printed those weeks ago!"

"Oh." Kim nodded, then paused. "Wait, if they did that, how could they know whether you had a 'partner' or a 'sidekick'?"

"I hadn't thought of that." Shego admitted. Kim gave her a suspicious look. "Really, Kimmie. Honest answer rule, remember? I had nothing to do with it. I guess maybe the organizers figured whoever I brought, they'd mess with us by sticking us in a bed together. They probably did it to all the others, too. Except any that actually are partners. They probably put those guys in separate beds ... maybe separate rooms."

"Why would they do that?"

"Doy. They're criminals. Evil, remember?" Shego rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I'll believe you." Kim's tone belied her words, but she dropped the subject and turned her attention to who their competitors would be. "Wait a minute ... Senor Senior Junior and Bonnie Rockwaller? I thought you said this tournament was for the best of the best?"

"It is."

"Then how does Junior get an invite?"

"Check the small print at the bottom."

"Huh? Oh. 'Prize support for this year's tournament provided by Senor Senior Senior'. That's how Junior got in? But that's ..."

"Immoral? Unethical?" Shego smirked and rolled her eyes. "Graft and corruption at the King of Thieves tournament. Why are you surprised?"

"I hate you."

"Hate you more. Who's next on the list?"

"Rocket Man and Sarah Bellum." Kim read. "Rocket Man?"

"Dumb name, but dumb or not, also one of the biggest names of the eighties."

"I've never heard of him."

Shego shook her head.

"I'd say I was surprised, but you didn't even know I'd been a hero, and that was a lot more recent than the Science Rogues."

"They stole scientific items?"

"They used science to commit their crimes. Rocket Man's main deal was his rocket pack, but I think he had an electro-gun for stunning people, and some kind of helmet with science-y stuff."

"Is 'science-y stuff' the technical term?"

"Hey, you'd never even heard of the guy!"

"So what were they like?"

"How would I know? I'm only six years older than you, Princess. I never met them."

"Yeah, but you obviously heard stories." Kim tapped the card on her crossed legs. "From the sound of that electro-gun thing, they didn't kill people."

"No. From what I've read, they were more like a couple of kids playing the fool than anything else. They were big on pranks."

"Pranks? Do they have any quality control standards on these invitations?"

"Well, the Science Rogues' idea of a prank was to break into Fort Knox and re-arrange the gold bricks in the vaults into a gigantic replica of a human brain."

"Oh. That's ... a pretty big prank." Kim admitted

"Ya think?" Shego examined her empty mug then jiggled it toward the redhead. "You want another?"

"Of that awful stuff? No thanks."

"When did you develop taste buds?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Doy! You used to eat at Bueno Nacho!"

"It wasn't that bad."

"Yes, it was."

"Whatever." Kim flipped a hand airily. "So Rocket Man had his jetpack and his electro-gun. What was Sarah Bellum's deal? From her name ... mental powers?"

"Not unless you count her sexy outfits as a form of mind control."

Kim smirked.

"Sounds like someone has a crush."

"I don't think she plays for my team, Pumpkin. Rumor was that she and ol' Rocket Pants were an item."

"Rumor was that you and Drakken were, too."

"Ugh. Don't remind me. Anyway, I don't know about any powers, but she had brains and moxie to spare. Story is she was working in a mayor's office somewhere – sounds like good training to be a crook, to me – and caught Rocket Man in the middle of one of his jobs. They hit it off, and she started accompanying him."

"So what happened to them? They were notorious sorta-criminals all through the eighties and then ... ?"

"Around '88 or '89 they vanished ... pretty much overnight. Never heard from again."

"No-one knows why?"

"Lots of theories. No proof. It'll be cool to meet them. And then beat their wrinkly old asses. Who else is there?"

"I'm glad you're so confident." Kim laughed, "Next is Falsetto Jones and Camille Leon."

"Jones, I know. He's good. Camille Leon ... isn't she an heiress?"

"She was disinherited. She's also got shape-shifting powers. Not a bad trick for a thief. And if she's gay you're in luck. You can be with any woman you want and never cheat on her."

"You know, I think I liked high school Kimmie better than this new model. She gave me less lip."

"Oh, like you wouldn't want a little lip from me." Kim suddenly turned bright pink as she realized what she'd said. She ducked her head, red tresses tumbling down to shield her crimson face.

Shego sat stunned in her chair, grateful that Kim was too embarrassed to look her in the eye. She didn't blush as easily as the younger woman, but she'd felt the heat rise to her own face, as well. Shego had meant it when she'd said the redhead had never interested her sexually. Too straight-laced, in all senses of the term. Kimmie's changed ... it's intriguing. Intriguing isn't good. Definitely time to change the subject.

"Anyone else competing?"

"Uh ..." A flustered Kim fumbled with the card, then paused. "There's really a Sheela of the Leopard People?"

"You think some hack writer could come up with that by himself? Who's she teaming with?"

"Manx?"

"Crazy Irish cat-burglar. Those two had some success in the nineties, but they're lightweights next to you and I."

"Careful, Shego. That sounded suspiciously like a compliment."

"Couldn't have been. I'm not supposed to give you any of those, remember? That was everyone, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Though there's a note that some guy called 'Artemis Fowl' declined the invitation to participate. Hey ... this card says the gala is 'crime formal'. What does that mean?"

"It means full mission gear. A chance for everyone to see the competition in detail."

"Full mission gear? So jetpack, rocket skates, the whole works?"

"Yep. Though in your case I'll also accept a French Maid's outfit, if you have one around."

Shego bolted for the kitchenette. Sure, the coffee was terrible, but it was better than being around when Kim got over her outrage enough to recover voluntary muscle control.

"Ah, Ms Shego and Ms Possible, as always, a pleasure." Senor Senior Senior greeted the two women as they stepped out of the elevator several hours later. "You are the last of our guests to arrive for the reception."

"Somebody had to wash her hair." Kim shot an 'I told you so' glance at Shego, who shrugged unconcernedly.

"So we're fashionably late. So not the drama."

"It's rude!" Kim protested. "New rule: don't use my catch-phrases."

"What's rude is all these new rules of yours." Shego rolled her eyes. "You see what I have to put up with to win this thing, Triple-S?"

"I think you will find the competition most formidable, Ms Shego. Victory is far from assured."

"Especially with you around to weight the odds in Junior's favor." Shego stated without rancor.

"I am sure I do not know what you mean." Senor Senior Senior kept his expression blank. "This tournament will be conducted with its usual impartiality and fairness."

"That's what we're afraid of." Kim snarked.

"Ooh, Kitten's showing her claws!" Shego smirked at the redhead, who colored a little at the attention. "So where to we go from here, Triple-S?"

"Just follow the hall to the double-doors, the usher will announce you to the ballroom."

"They have a ballroom?" Kim wondered as she trotted along the hallway, trying to keep up with the taller woman's stride. "How big is this place?"

"No idea, Pumpkin." Shego shrugged in a manner that made it clear she didn't really care. "They had blindfolds on us for most of the trip, remember? Pretty big, though. They need a lot of room to stage the tournament events."

The double-doors opened onto a stone stair case, winding down into a large room with a high, vaulted ceiling. Garishly dressed people milled around on the floor below.

A green-uniformed usher took Shego's invitation.

"Shego and Partner." His amplified voice boomed out across the room. Kim, noting an emphasis on the word 'Partner', shot him a dirty look.

"No hurting the hired help, Kimmie."

"There's a lot of people here." Kim changed the subject as they made their way down the stairs. "I guess some of them are the other contestants ... that guy with the weird silver box on his back must be Rocket Man."

"Yeah, which means the foxy redhead next to him must be Sarah Bellum." Shego's tone was warmly appreciative.

Kim picked out the statuesque figure in question and frowned.

"Oh please. A silver evening gown? Like that's a mission outfit."

"You really do have your claws out tonight." Shego sounded appreciative.

Kim huffed in response, then glanced around again.

"So there are only eight other contestants. Who are these other people?"

"Robots."

"Robots? Really?"

"No. Well, not all of them. 'Robots' is just what they've been called for the last hundred years or so. Most of them are flesh and blood people. They're all carrying mini-cameras, though. Most of the organizers prefer to keep their identities secret, so they send proxies in their place. The last couple of times, they've also sold virtual tickets to the event. A staff member represents you, carrying a camera, and you get a live video feed of what's happening. I wouldn't be surprised if your Nerdlinger has a proxy here."

"Why would Wade buy a ticket?"

"For intel on criminals? Or, you know -" Shego brazenly adjusted her bosom in its catsuit. "- just for the hot women in lycra."

Kim was about to make a retort when another voice broke into the conversation.

"Oh look, Junior. It's Quim Possible and her new lezzie friend."

Shego growled. Kim grabbed the green woman's arm to prevent a fight, and sighed. Well, the night can only get better after this ... right?

"Bonnie. Still attending those Narcissists Anonymous meetings, or did you get fed up of other people hogging the podium?"

"You know, Kim ..." her tanned high school nemesis ignored - or perhaps did not understand - the insult. "... I thought you were desperate when you started dating Stoppable. But now I see that sorry excuse for a guy was just your way of training to date real girls."

A dozen rebuttals danced through Kim's head, but Bonnie would see any sort of denial as a moral victory. Only one thing will shut her up. Gotta hope Shego plays along.

"Oh, Bonnie ..." The redhead slipped her arm around Shego's waist and pulled the startled green woman closer to her. "... don't be jealous just because I was never interested in your fake boobs and flat ass. Still, at least Junior here will be able to afford all the other surgery you need."

The redhead smirked as Bonnie nearly dissolved in rage. The smirk very nearly slipped when Shego played along just a lot more convincingly than Kim expected, leaning down to softly nip at the redhead's ear with her teeth, while her hand - Not gonna blush. Don't want to give Shego the satisfaction.

Kim and Shego sailed past the still sputtering brunette and her perplexed yellow-shirted escort, the redhead managing to keep her smirk in place until they were several steps away.

"Kimmie, that was a thing of beauty." The green woman chuckled.

"Shego?"

"Yes Pumpkin?"

"Get your hand off my butt before I break your fingers."

"Yes, Pumpkin." Shego slid her hand up to the redhead's waist.

"That's not what I meant."

"Tough, Kitten. I backed your play with Ms Bitchy, so now you owe me. Besides, the more comfortable we seem together the more it'll tick off whoever stuck us with only one bed."

"Uh huh." Kim rolled her eyes. "You're just doing it because you know it ticks me off."

"That is an added bonus." Shego shamelessly admitted.

"Whatever." Kim huffed, then noticed which direction Shego was taking them. "For someone who isn't crushing, you seem awfully keen to meet Sarah Bellum."

"I'm only human, Kimmie." Was Shego's rejoinder. "Look at her!"

"That's her idea of 'crime formal'?." Kim snarked. "How's she going to run in those heels?"

It seemed someone else had asked a similar question, because as they drew near, they heard the statuesque older redhead give a throaty laugh.

"The heels are retractable, and the gown's made of a special polymer that responds to specific electrical stimuli. I can shorten it to a miniskirt in less than a second. I'm surprised it fits so well after all these years, though I did have to take it out a little in the bust."

"I bet you did." Shego muttered under her breath, her tone frankly appraising.

Despite the quiet tone, Sarah Bellum seemed to register that someone was behind her. She began to turn toward the two younger women. For her part, Kim barely noticed Shego's comment, her mind on other matters. That's weird. Sarah Bellum sounds just like ...

"MOM?"

"Kimmie-cub?"

Author's Note: Did I actually manage to surprise anyone with the identity of Sarah Bellum? Probably not, since it was referenced in the challenge that spawned this fic.

Six months in Paris has made Kim a lot less sheltered than she was, it seems, though her mouth sometimes runs away with her.

Next time: A Possible Family Reunion!