The next morning, the sun blazed high in the azure heavens, the deep blue expanse broken by only a few picture-perfect white clouds.
"We must be in the southern hemisphere." Kim remarked as she dumped a bag – filled with mission gear – next to one of the plastic beach recliners.
"Huh?" Shego sleepily opened an eye. She'd been relaxing in the sun for nearly an hour, waiting for the fair-skinned redhead to meticulously apply sunscreen to every exposed inch of flesh. She smirked as she surveyed the younger woman's pink and white one-piece swimming costume. "Nice outfit, Pippi Longstocking. Were they all out of adult sizes at Smarty Mart the day you brought that?"
Kim pointedly ignored the comment.
"It's early December, but the weather's hot. We must be in the southern hemisphere."
"Whatever." Shego yawned.
"Shego!" Kim stomped her foot – ineffectually, since they were on loose sand – then dropped down onto her recliner and leaned forward so that she could speak softly and not be overheard. "I thought you wanted to win this thing?"
"Yeah. What's your point?"
"Information is power. Anything we can work out about this place might help us."
The green woman gave a lazy smile.
"I knew it was a good idea to bring you along."
"So I could point these things out to you?"
"So you could do them for me and leave me to soak up the rays."
"Ugh!" Kim threw her hands in the air, then winced. Shego raised a quizzical eyebrow.
"Not that I care, but what's wrong?"
"My neck and shoulder are a bit sore this morning. The couch isn't very comfortable."
"I told you that you could sleep in the bed."
"You were in the bed! In your underwear!"
"So?"
"So after what happened the first night, not a chance."
"Hey, it's not my fault your subconscious finds me irresistible." Shego smirked at Kim's stuttered denial, then swung herself into a seated position and gestured imperiously at the redhead's recliner. "Lie down. I'll see what I can do about your shoulder and neck."
Kim narrowed her eyes.
"I thought you didn't care about me."
"About you, I don't. About winning, I do. And that means I need you at a hundred percent."
"Do you know anything about physiotherapy?"
"Not a thing. But I know a whole lot about full body massage." Shego leered. Kim squeaked and backed away, nearly falling backwards off the recliner, prompting a peal of laughter from the green woman. "Kidding, Cupcake. You pick up a lot of aches and sprains in my line of work. I've learned a few things about treating them."
Kim wavered, clearly uncomfortable with the idea, but tempted by the promise of an end to the soreness in her neck and back. Finally, she gave a cautious nod.
"Okay. But no sneak attacks or sudden groping."
"Villain's honor." Shego rolled her eyes. Kim huffed at the response, but eventually lay face down on the recliner and swept her hair to one side. Shego straddled the smaller woman's back, taking care to keep all her weight on her own knees. As the green woman began the massage with Kim's neck, the redhead asked a question.
"No-one's been taken away for their event yet?"
"If they have, they're not saying."
"You mingled more than me last night. What do you think of the other competitors?"
"Your folks are going to be tough to beat."
"... you swear you didn't know my parents were the Science Rogues?"
"Trust me, Kimmie. If I'd known that, I'd have been a lot nicer to them whenever we met."
"So you really think they're that good?" Kim started to twist to look at Shego, but the green woman forcibly checked the movement.
"Lie still. And yes, they're really that good."
"What happened to 'beating their wrinkly old butts'?"
"Kimmie, I can't vouch for your father, and don't want to, but your mother has the ass of a twenty year old."
"... we will never talk about this subject again."
"I tell you, if there's even a single wrinkle there, I'll –"
"Were you doing all this ogling before or after she made you whimper like a scolded puppy?"
"... we will never talk about this subject again."
"Good call. Not that I understand why mom scares you so much."
"You remember that Halloween she caught you lying to her?"
"Oh ... that."
"That. Plus, now I know she's Sarah Bellum? The Science Rogues are not people I want ticked off with me."
"Mom said they never hurt anyone."
"Right, but you heard some of the stuff they pulled. You want those kind of pranks happening to you?"
"Oh." Kim considered the possibility. "Okay, so mom and dad are a challenge. We can count Junior and Bonnie out, right? Unless Senior bribes their way to victory."
"I doubt even he has that kind of cash. They'll score a lot higher than they ought to, but the organizers must make a mint off this competition. The DVD sales alone ..."
"There are DVDs?"
"Available on Evil-Bay. Anyway, the point is, they'll let Junior buy into the game, but I doubt they'll let him buy the win. It'd end up costing them money in the long term."
"Fine. You already said Sheela and Manx were lightweights compared to us ... what about Jones and Leon?"
"A lot depends on the type of mission they get. Leon's abilities make her a real wildcard." Having finished with Kim's neck, the green woman moved her hands down.
"Shego! What are you doing?"
"Relax, Princess. I'm just moving the straps so I can get at your shoulders. You're still decent. Just remember not to sit up too fast."
"You should have asked first." Kim grumbled. Shego sighed and shook her head.
"Don't worry, I won't try any naughty lesbian touching." She couldn't stop herself from adding. "Though if you tried it you might like it."
Kim gave a snort.
"Please. I got that line a hundred times while I was in Paris."
Shego smirked as she pressed her hands slowly up the redhead's back.
"Ever do anything about it?"
"..." A red flush spread over Kim's shoulders. Shego gaped.
"Damn, Kimmie. Is there any part of you that doesn't blush? And don't think you can get away with not answering my question. You can't leave me hanging like that." The dark-haired woman said as her fingers founded a particularly hard nut of muscle in Kim's shoulder. "Wow, you're tense. Let me try a little heat on this."
"You brought a heat pack?"
"Doy. I've got one built in." Shego summoned the merest thread of her plasma power, letting the warmth seep from her fingers into the redhead's back.
"You're using plasma to massage me?" Kim's tone was shocked, but then her shoulders visibly relaxed. "... that actually feels really good." It really does, but I can't let myself forget this is Shego. She's acting nice now, but only because she wants something from me. Gotta remember: we're not friends.
Shego smirked
"That's what all the girls tell me."
"I didn't know you could do that." Kim ignored the suggestive remark.
"I've got perfect control over my powers, Princess. Didn't you ever wonder why I could melt steel and yet never fry your face off?"
"Mainly I thought it was because you've got lousy aim – ow!" Kim broke off as Shego pinched her thigh. "Bitch."
"So, gonna tell me about your secret lezzie past, Cupcake?"
"Nothing really to tell. A lesbian girl in one of my classes always teased me that I'd like it if I tried it. She went on about it all semester, until finally one night I got tired of it, leaned over and planted one on her."
"That doesn't sound like you."
"I ... I'd had a bad couple of days. I wasn't thinking straight."
"No pun intended." Shego smirked as a wicked idea occurred to her. As nonchalantly as she could, she continued. "So who was the better kisser: me or her?"
"Oh, definitely her. She stuck her tongue in my mouth, and it became the hottest, most exciting kiss I've ever had. Soon we were so turned on we were groping each other right there in the café. After they threw us out we went back to her place and had the best, wildest sex ever. I've never looked twice at a man since."
Shego gaped, dumbstruck. Then a series of suppressed tremors in Kim's shoulders made her suspicions flare.
"You're teasing me!" the green woman accused.
"As you would say: 'Doy'." Kim half gloated, half giggled. "She was so surprised she didn't even react. Then her girlfriend came back from the restroom and told me to keep my hands off her property."
"Her property?"
"The Sophies were a bit odd. They would have loved one of those French maid outfits you're always talking about."
"The Sophies?"
"Yeah, Sophie D and Sophie S. I'm not sure why everyone called them that. It wasn't their initials."
Shego snorted, choking back her own laughter.
"I can't imagine." She squeezed the words out as nonchalantly as she could, then snapped the straps from the redhead's costume back into place.
"Ow!"
"How did you talk me into this?" Kim asked a few minutes later, as she straddled Shego's back and kneaded her thumbs against the green woman's neck.
"I whined."
"Right." Kim shuddered at the memory. "I had no idea your voice could go that high."
"Hey, I don't have the bone structure to pull off a good pout. I have to rely on other forms of motivation. And since I need you for the tournament, beating you until you agreed wasn't really an option."
"Like you'd be able to beat me, anyway." Kim scoffed.
Shego snickered, causing Kim's eyes to narrow dangerously as the redhead dug her nails into the green woman's skin.
"Ow! Jeez, Princess, what the hell?" Shego yelped, then replayed the conversation in her mind. "Relax, I wasn't laughing at your comment, though I should. I was just wondering how much a tabloid would pay for a photo of us right now."
Kim had a sudden moment of panic.
"This won't be on the DVDs, will it?"
Shego snorted.
"You only just thought of that now?"
"Answer the question." Kim poked the green woman in the small of the back.
"No, it won't." Shego assured the redhead. "It's like the Olympics: they only film the opening and closing ceremonies, and the actual events. The rest of the time, we're left alone."
"You're sure?"
"Would you tick off the best thieves in the world?"
"I already have." Kim pointed out. "Unless they all secretly like jail."
"OK, would anyone sane tick off the best thieves in the world?"
"Hey!" Kim glared at the back of Shego's head.
"Just paying you back for earlier."
"Well if we're doing paybacks ..." Kim unhooked the back of Shego's bikini top.
"What the-!?"
"Relax. I'm just moving the strap so I can get at your back. You're still decent. Just remember not to sit up too fast." Kim smugly paraphrased the green woman's own words back at her. "Don't worry, I won't try any naughty lesbian touching."
"I'm glad to hear it, Kimmie-cub." A warm contralto voice interrupted the banter. "Your father and I don't mind if you're a lesbian, but we've always frowned on getting too blatant with the PDAs."
Kim's body froze. Her mind froze too. Then it shattered into a thousand pieces and ran screaming in every direction it could. Shego twisted her head to look back over her shoulder, and smirked as she squinted into the bright sun.
"Sorry, Sarah. I think Kimmie's having a little trouble remembering how to talk, at the moment. Maybe even how to breathe."
"That's okay, Shego. I can see she's a little distracted right now." Kim's mother stepped to the side so that Shego wouldn't be staring into the sun to look at her. The green woman appreciated the consideration. And the view. If Kimmie looks half that good in twenty years ... She forced herself not to finish that thought. Keep your mind on the tournament, Shego. Crushing on straight girls is always a boneheaded move.
"I was kidding!" Kim's mind and mouth finally restored their connection.
"I know, honey." Mrs Possible reached out and tousled her daughter's hair, earning a half-hearted squeak of outrage from the younger redhead. "You're not in any trouble for that. Though after we get home your father and I will be having a serious talk with you about sneaking off to secret international thieving tournaments without our permission."
"Aw Mom! I already told you why I came here." Kim whined. She paused, suddenly thinking of something. "Mom ... if the Science Rogues are retired, why did you guys come to this thing?"
"It's a long story, Kimmie-cub. We'll tell you the whole thing when we get home." Her mother answered vaguely. She brightened as her attention was drawn by movement further down the beach. "Oh, there's your father. Excuse me, girls, I have a date with an extra-large bottle of suntan lotion."
"Man, this sitch is already ferociously strange, and now mom just totally ducked my question." Kim lamented, poking Shego in the back to emphasize her point. The green woman merely grunted, her attention elsewhere. Kim followed her gaze. "Shego? Please tell me you're not checking out my mom."
"Okay. I am not checking out your mom." Shego intoned solemnly. "I do have a question though."
"What?" As soon as the word popped out, Kim knew she would regret it.
"Do you think she's swaying her hips like that for your father, or because she knows I'm watching?"
"... have I mentioned I hate you?"
"Not in the last ten minutes, so you're about due."
Author's Note: The last chapter's kids' book reference was The Borribles, as Angus MacSpon deduced. What's not to love about a book where street kids assassinate the Wombles?
Revelations from Kim, and the suggestion of secrets being held by the Doctors Possible. What could that mean? Or was everyone too distracted by the scenes of scantily-clad women massaging each other to care about the plot? :)