Kim wiped her palms on her pants.
Shego, sprawled lazily with her feet on the table, opened one eye and peered at the redhead from between her boots.
"That's the third time you've done that, Pumpkin. What's the si ... problem?"
Kim colored slightly and muttered something, not looking up as she did so. Shego raised an eyebrow.
"Didn't quite catch that, Princess?"
Kim sighed and raised here head.
"I said, 'we're going to have to steal something'."
"Yes." Shego dropped her boots off the table and leaned forward. "Kinda goes with the whole 'King of the Thieves' deal, Kimmie."
"Yeah. I just ... I didn't really think about it, until now." Kim's flush darkened as she caught the amused curl in Shego's lip. "Yes, I already realize how dumb that is. No need to tell me. I just ... the only time I ever stole anything was when you and Drakken tricked me into it. I'm not sure I can go through with this."
"Pumpkin, Pumpkin, Pumpkin." Shego shook her head, still grinning. "Do you think I want to win this tournament?"
"... yes?"
"Exactly. So trust me. Unlike you, I did think about this." Shego couldn't stop a smug grin from forming. Then again, she didn't try that hard. "I wouldn't have asked you to be my partner if I thought you couldn't do it."
"What if we have to steal something dangerous?" Kim objected, "I can't help a bunch of criminals get their hands on a weapon –".
"Rest assured, Ms Possible, that you will not be asked to do so." Senor Senior Senior stepped into the room.
"It's about damn time you showed up." Shego grumbled. "First everything was so damn urgent we couldn't finish the volleyball match, then after we put on our mission gear and rush here like you wanted, you keep us waiting. I could have kicked Cupcake's butt a dozen times by now."
"You wish."
"My apologies for the delay, Ms Shego." Senor Senior said mildly, "I was simply ensuring that everything was in order for your mission. As for your concerns, Ms Possible, as your partner -" He was far too well-mannered to emphasize the word, even though Kim blushed just to hear it. "- was no doubt about to inform you, the theft of weapons has been banned from the tournament ever since the unfortunate events of the 1917 competition."
"Oh." Kim looked relieved, then curious. "What happened in 1917?"
Shego snorted.
"The organizers learned that even thieves can be idiots ... or patriots, depending on your point of view." The green woman turned her attention to Senor Senior. "So, Triple-S: what is it we have to do?"
"For now, you must simply accompany me to the dock. A sea plane will take you to the location of your test. Once you arrive at your destination, you will be given your final instructions."
"More hurry up and wait." Shego rolled her eyes. "I'm so glad we rushed over here when you asked."
"I am afraid that we must all follow the rules, Ms Shego."
"Right. The way we were called here has nothing to do with trying to piss me off." Shego glowered at Senior, then switched her attention to Kim. "I was so gonna win that volleyball match."
"So not!"
The sea plane's engines cut out with one last grumbling cough.
"You can remove the hoods now." The pilot called back.
"Finally." Shego grumbled, tearing the thick black fabric from off her head. "Who was the last person you had in this thing? Body Odor Man?"
"Mine wasn't that bad." Kim said, though her wrinkled her nose suggested it hadn't been all that good, either. "We can trade on the way back if you like."
The green woman looked suspiciously at the wadded up black fabric in the redhead's hand.
"No. I think I'll stick to the horror I know. I don't see why we have to wear these stupid hoods anyway. We're the world's best thieves. If we want to find out there the island is, we will."
The pilot shrugged.
"I don't make the rules. Anyway, now we've arrived, here's the deal. We're at the island of Pikkapukkapunya –" he caught the looks both women gave him. "Hey. I didn't name it. Anyway, the island's uninhabited, but there used to be some natives here, so you may see some old buildings around the place. Ignore them: there's nothing there. What you want to head for is that big mountain there."
"Mountain? I think you mean the volcano." Shego said flatly.
"Don't worry. It's dormant."
"It's smoking!" Kim protested.
"Well, maybe not entirely dormant. But not really active, either. Anyway, that's the reason the island's been evacuated. It's also where you need to go. There's a secret complex underneath it. I can't tell you where, that's your problem. Somewhere in that complex there's a ruby, big as my fist." The pilot looked at his own huge hands, and shrugged. "Well, big as one of your fists anyway. Bring the ruby back here to complete your mission. Any questions?"
"Any time limit?" Shego asked.
"You have four hours to actually complete the mission, but I'll stay out here until you get back to the plane or you're both dead." The man said, matter-of-factly. "We'll have three hover-cameras tracking you, so I'll know if you buy it."
The green woman nodded.
"How's our performance being judged?"
"Skill and style. There is a bonus for speed, so the faster you come back with the rock, the better, but the main thing is not to come back without it, and not to take more than four hours. Do either of those, and you're considered to have failed your task. No chance of winning if that happens."
"We'll be back in time." Shego said confidently. "Any info on what security's in the volcano complex?"
The pilot simply shrugged.
"They didn't tell me anything. That all?"
Kim spoke up.
"When does the four hours start?"
"Soon as you leave the plane."
"Right." Kim dug into her backpack and produced a skateboard. She shot Shego a grin and raised her eyebrows. "You ready?"
"So the plan is 'skate or drown'?"
"Not quite." Kim swung open the sea plane's door and dropped down onto the float, then tossed the skateboard into the rolling swell. The board landed with a splash, sank for a second under its own momentum, then bobbed back to the surface due to buoyancy.
"Great. The world's smallest surfbo-" Shego trailed off as the board suddenly shuddered and then grew, lengthening and widening until it was some eight feet long and two feet wide.
"Wade's the man." Kim said happily, hopping down onto the board. Her boots clicked into place with a pronounced thunk. "Electromagnetic field holds my feet in place. Also powers the motor."
"Motor?"
"Rocket-powered skateboard or motorized surfboard. It's multifunctional." Kim caught Shego's look. "Look, Wade's a big 'Transmuters' fan. Even the Kimmunicator can grow wheels and zoom around. You just get used to it. Now: time's wasting. You getting on the board or not."
"Fine." Shego leapt down. Despite the lightness of her landing, her feet immediately slipped on the wet surface. She gave a yelp of alarm as one boot slid all the way into the ocean, and grabbed Kim to stop herself from falling. "Geez, Kimmie!"
"Sorry. Forgot that the field only works if you have metal implants in your boots." Kim's voice sounded ... strained.
"You okay, Princess?"
"... could you maybe move your hands down?"
Suddenly realizing exactly where she'd grab Kim, the green woman felt her own skin burn with embarrassment. They're not big, but they sure are perky.
Muttering something that might, if you were in a generous mood, be taken for apology, the pale woman slid her hands down and laced them around Kim's stomach.
"Tighter." Kim ordered, with a light touch to the back of Shego's hands.
"What?" Shego blinked.
"You have to hold me tighter." The redhead repeated. "Otherwise you'll throw off my balance."
"Right." Shego stepped closer to the other woman, until the sides of her own boots touched Kim's, and the rest of her body was pressed against the redhead's back, except where Kim's pack came between them. "You know, Princess ... " she whispered, her lips not far from Kim's ear. "First you grab me while we're in bed and now you practically order me to grope you. It's pretty clear you want me."
"Hush and hold on." Kim snapped, and triggered the board's motor. A flush of red on the younger woman's shoulders told Shego that her latest barb had got through Kim's defenses. Good to know a few things still can. Now I just need to stop thinking about how good she smells.
"Well, that certainly beat swimming." Shego admitted as the surfboard glided to a halt on the shoreline. "Now how do we get to the volcano? It looks like pretty solid jungle from here to there. Could take hours."
"I gave you a set of my mission gear for a reason, Shego." Kim slapped the pack the taller woman was wearing. "Assuming it still works after you vandalized it."
"I think you'll find that what I did was decoration." Shego was rather proud of the mottled green and black paint-job she'd done.
"Well, assuming your 'decoration' hasn't clogged the vents, you should be able to press here, and adjust the dial here. And –" Wings suddenly snapped out of the pack, and there was a soft whine of turbines spinning up to speed. "- instant jet pack!"
"And the reason we didn't just fly straight from the plane to the volcano is?"
"... I wanted to try out the surfboard."
"Wonderful. This isn't a time for games, Princess. I want to win."
"Sorry." Kim didn't look sorry. Shego decided to ignore that fact.
"This jet pack use standard controls?" The green woman asked.
"Yeah, though you might find the controls a little under-responsive. It's Ron's old pack, and he didn't have the steadiest hands, so Wade reduced the sensitivity. I didn't have time to get it recalibrated."
"Did you at least get it fumigated?"
"Shego."
"Hey, you never said I couldn't insult Ron. Just that I had to call him by his name."
"You're evil."
"Flattery will get you everywhere." The green woman gave Kim a salacious wink.
Kim merely rolled her eyes, and then the two women soared up from the beach, rising high above the dense canopy of the jungle. The redhead spun lazily in a circle, then pointed off to their left.
"There's one of those abandoned villages."
Shego shrugged.
"The ruby's not there, Kimmie. Let's get to the mountain."
"Volcano."
"I'm pretending I don't know that."
The flight to the foot of the volcano was uneventful, the jet packs carrying both women easily over the tree tops, the branches whipping past beneath them.
Shego barrel-rolled smoothly to dodge a flight of startled parrots, then smirked as she saw lithe, brown forms jumping from branch to branch below.
"Hey, monkeys." She was surprised when the comment caused a giggle from her companion. "What's so funny?"
"Just not used to hearing 'the m-word' without a healthy dose of panic attached to it."
"The 'm-word'? Monkeys?"
"Ron has issues."
"I'll say."
They landed a few minutes later. The entrance to the caves wasn't hard to find. Forty foot stone doors don't rely on going unnoticed for security. Above the doors was a hideous stone face, some fifteen feet high. It had toad-like features, all squashed in and misshapen, with a thin-lipped, slobbering mouth filled with needle-sharp teeth.
"What the heck is that supposed to be?" Kim asked.
"Looks a bit like a 'Spiderwick' goblin." Shego offered.
"Aren't you a bit old for those books, Shego?"
"I like the pictures." The green woman shrugged. "Whatever it is, I think we can assume it's a warning. 'Stay out or get eaten'."
"Eaten by what?"
"Traps, maybe. We won't know until we get inside. I could blast through the doors."
Kim shook her head.
"In the movies, that pretty much always leads to a cave-in."
"This isn't the movies."
"A cave-in would still be bad." Kim pointed out. "I think we should look for a more subtle way inside."
Shego walked up to the stone surface and peered at it closely. Something tickled at the back of her mind. She ignited her left hand.
"Hey!" Kim exclaimed. "Cave-ins, remember."
"Relax, Pumpkin. I'm not going to blast anything. I just need some light." Shego brought her hand closer to the seam at the edge of the doors. Finally, she nodded. "Fake."
"What?"
"The doors." The green woman shut off her plasma. "They're fake. The seams go in about a foot, but then there's solid stone. Someone cut these grooves to make it look like these were real doors, but they're not."
"So this isn't the way in."
"No." Shego's gaze slid up, to the leering face above the doors. The thing's mouth seemed very deep. Almost tunnel-like. "But I think I know where the entrance is."
Kim followed the direction of the green woman's gaze.
"Through the mouth full of sharp teeth?"
"Through the mouth full of sharp teeth."
"Okay." Kim folded her arms. "In this situation, is saying 'this is too easy' a statement of the obvious, or tempting fate?"
They had navigated the mouthful of teeth without much difficulty, though it had been a little unnerving to squeeze between the barbed teeth and then crawl over the disturbing detailed tongue. At the back of the mouth was a narrow crawlspace. Shego had hurled a glowstick down the opening, and seen it tumble past a jagged opening into a large cavern.
"We'll have to be careful going down, or we'll get sliced up on the rocks, and the drop at the end is a big one, but it's manageable." She'd reported. "We can use your grapple gun to lower ourselves."
"What about the jet packs?"
"Tunnel's too narrow to wear them. We'll have to push them in front of us."
They done just that, eventually dropping down into the cavern Shego had seen. Kim had scooped up the glowstick, shrugging when the green woman pointed out that they had her plasma to light their way.
"I'd feel better with a light one of my own."
Picking their way through the tunnels had taken a good ten minutes or so, the air growing steadily warmer and warmer as they descended. It had all been surprisingly – and a little unsettlingly – easy. There'd been a couple of traps, true, but nothing that really challenged them.
"Even Drakken's traps were better than this."
"Dr D did love his death traps."
At last they'd reached the broad, flag-stoned chamber where they now stood. They'd known it was there well before they arrived; the ruddy glow of magma had seen to that. Streams of molten rock eddied and flowed between the broad flagstones, lending light and sweltering heat to the atmosphere.
At the far end of the chamber stood a massive statue, with the same leering, repulsive face as they'd seen carved above the false 'doors'. The status crouched on one knee, its left hand outstretched, palm-up, on the floor before it. Nestled in the centre of the palm was a fist-sized red gem.
"I think it's a statement of the obvious, and tempting fate." Shego flicked her hair away from her face and partially unzipped her catsuit, giving one of the three hover-cameras a stern look when it focused on her action. "Keep your lens to yourself, buddy." A small burst of plasma didn't actually damage the device, but did send it tumbling through the air. She caught the look Kim was giving her. "What? It's hot in here."
"You need to update your catsuit. They have pleather that breathes, these days, you know."
"And a nice girl like you knows this how?" Shego arched an eyebrow.
"Not the point."
"True. The point is: what's going to happen when we take the gem? Lava monsters? Statue coming to life? The whole place starts collapsing around us?"
"Could be all three ..." Kim trailed off, then sighed. "We're in a volcano."
"Doy." The comment was instinctive, slipping out before Shego consciously grasped Kim's point. "Oh. You think an eruption?"
"If you were a crazy ancient death trap maker, and you had a volcano and a ruby the size of your fist, what would you do?"
"Personally, I'd give up the death traps business, sell the ruby, and buy some better real estate."
"I said 'crazy', remember. Or to put it another way: what would Drakken do?"
"Eruption. Definitely." Shego glanced around. "But he'd need some way for the lava to get to the surface."
"Magma. It isn't lava until it comes out at the other end."
"The geology lesson is very helpful, Princess. My point stands. If the intent is to have us incinerated in fiery, molten death, there needs to be somewhere for the magma to go."
"And you're thinking maybe we can go there first?"
"If the route is wide enough, yes."
"Not a bad idea." Kim allowed. She glanced up at the ceiling, lost in the shadows above them. "Can you toss some plasma up there? Minimum power? I just want light."
Shego did as asked, the flash of green illuminating several dark holes in the ceiling. Kim nodded and ignited her jet pack, soaring up to examine the holes.
"I'm going to see if these lead out." The redhead called down. "Don't touch anything."
Shego rolled her eyes.
"Just hurry up. The faster we do this, the better, remember?"
Kim nodded again and started up through one of the tunnels. It quickly tapered until it was too narrow for her jetpack wings, so she turned back and tried another. This time, the tunnel led to the surface. Kim soared into the air above the volcano, squinting her eyes against the bright sun. Not a bad way out at all. Couple of tight spots, but nothing Shego can't handle.
The redhead did a slow pirouette, taking a moment to enjoy fresh air after the stuffy caverns below. As she did so, her eye fell on the village she'd spotted earlier.
What she saw there now made her blood run cold.
"What do you mean, we can't take the gem?" Shego stared at Kim like the redhead had grown a second head.
"There are people in the village, Shego."
"What? No. They said the island was abandoned."
"Well, they were wrong. I saw chimney smoke."
"It could have just been a fire in the jungle ..."
Kim shook her head.
"It wasn't, Shego. There are people on the island. If we take the gem, and the volcano erupts ... they could be killed."
"The village was close to the beach." Shego protested, weakly. "They could escape to sea. None of them would die. We could warn them first!"
"They'd just have their homes and their livelihoods destroyed instead. We can't do this, Shego. You know we can't."
The green woman looked stricken. She raised a hand to her forehead, and Kim was startled to see a glimmer of wetness in the brilliant green eyes.
"This was my chance, Kim. My chance to be something more than just a green freak who went bad. If I win this tournament I'll be someone. Someone people will remember."
"Shego." Kim caught the older woman's hand in her own and squeezed it gently. "Six months ago, you saved the world. So what if you don't win this stupid tournament? There wouldn't even be a tournament without you."
Shego sighed, looking unconvinced. But in the end she nodded.
"We can't take the gem."
The journey back to the sea plane was silent. The flight was also silent: the green woman didn't even complain about wearing the hood. Kim made an attempt to start a conversation as they headed back to their room, but Shego made no answer.
The plane flights had been long, and it was late by the time they returned. Silently, they changed for bed: Shego in the bedroom, Kim in the living room. The green woman slid under the sheets of the bed, and reached for the bedside lamp, but as she did so, the redhead padded into the room and climbed into the bed.
Shego rolled back to stare at Kim, still not saying anything, but her gaze clearly asking the question. The younger woman shrugged into her pillow and gave a shy half-smile.
"We both know you were going to win that volleyball match."
The faintest of smiles flickered over Shego's lips.
"Thanks, Pumpkin."
"You're the one who deserves thanks. You did -" the redhead broke off as a green finger touched her lips.
"Not now, Princess. You can tell me in the morning how wonderful I am. Preferably while you're bringing me coffee in bed."
"Okay."
"... and while wearing a maid's outfit."
"Don't push your luck."
"G'night, Pumpkin."
"Night, Shego."
Author's Notes: I originally wrote a completely different second scene for this chapter, but I didn't like it, so it got ditched.
I apologize to any readers who were hoping Kim and Shego's tournament event would be a bit more action-packed, but this isn't really an action-based story. And hopefully, the tender little moment at the end there will lift a few hearts :-)