Here is the next chapter. It is from Edwards POV. You get to see how he feels about everything! lol hope u like and thank you guys for all the reviews and hits. YOu are what keep me going! Enjoy

EPOV

I couldn't wrap my mind around what she just told me. I wanted to react but I couldn't. I didn't realize I had hurt her so bad. My stomach started to hurt, I wanted to throw up. I knew she was waiting for my response.

"I can see why my family hasn't been so close to me," they really haven't been. I thought it was because I was away at college but it was because they saw what I did to her. My family couldn't handle her being like that. How could I do that to her? I had been depressed but not like that. I'm such a monster.

"Bell, I'm sorry," I tried talking but I couldn't. Why was she smiling?

"Edward, you did what you thought was right, I see that now, I'm okay now. No need to apologize anymore," she put her hand on my shoulder. The little touch made me regret ever letting go. Talk Edward!

"I had no idea I did that to you," I brought my head up to meet her eyes while we kept walking. They were filled with pain. Why did I do that?

"I mean I got into a depression but yours was much different. If I knew what it would have done to you I wouldn't of . . ." she stopped immediately.

"You wouldn't of what, left me? You would have just stayed with me living a lie. Lying to me? And maybe eventually cheat on me? I'd rather you of just left me before you started lying," she sounded annoyed.

"I don't like to see you hurt."

"I don't like being hurt," she started walking again. I followed.

"I just don't know how to respond to that. I feel like a monster. I would never wish that much pain on anyone," especially not her.

"I know Edward. I'm just weak. When we were together you made me strong and so when you left I lost that," she said softly.

"I lost apart of me when I left you," I lost so much. But she was over me. I already hurt her once.

"I don't regret a single thing Edward. I don't regret you were my first love or even the fact that I lost my virginity to you. Everything was great. I just wish I could have handled the break up differently," she said while we turned onto her street. I just wanted to runaway. Why did Alice make me come here? Why did any of this have to happen? I obviously do more harm than good.

"Bella do you mind if I just think for a bit? I just, I don't know," I said as we got to her house. She took my face in her hands.

"I promise you I'm okay. Don't worry about it. But yes I'll leave you alone," she walked into the house. I followed but went to my room. I laid on the bed and just started thinking.

When I left her it made sense. We rarely saw each other and for the first time since I had been with her I started looking at girls, flirting with them. It wasn't fair to her. I felt like my love for her had left. So I left her. The night I told her was hard but I had to do it.

At first I was fine. I could have any girl I wanted and I loved it. But then it got boring. I realized what I had with Bella and how I had screwed up by leaving her. That is when I went into a depression. I went out every night and I drank until I couldn't anymore. I rarely remembered the night before. That was the only way to forget about her. But after awhile I got sick of being sad and I just got over it.

So when Alice asked me to come here, I was shocked but assumed Bella was ok with it. But she wasn't. When she first found out I was here I was kind of annoyed. She was acting like such a child, but now I understand it all.

I wish she didn't feel like she needed John. She is such and beautiful, strong person. What did I do to her? I just want to make everything ok for her.

When I got here my feelings hadn't come back right away but the more I'm around her the more I keep falling for her. But she had him and she didn't need me. But I needed her in so many ways. She makes me happy. She makes me the Edward I knew and the Edward my family liked. Why was I such a fuck up? Why did I do this to her? The tears started falling and I cried like a baby.

There was a knock on my door.

"Hey Edward. I'm sorry to bother you but I'm making some burgers and stuff. I was wondering if you were gonna make me eat alone," she said on the other side of the door. I hadn't realized I had been in here for over 2 hours.

"Yeah I'll eat. Do you need me to help with anything?"

"Oh no I got it. I'll let you know when it is ready."

I want her. I need her. I regret leaving her. I decided to clean myself up and go help her. I had to face her sometime.

When I went to join her in the kitchen she was dancing to the radio while making the burgers. This made me smile. I wanted to be dancing with her. I cleared my throat to let her know I was there.

"Shit Edward. Stop sneaking up on me!" she laughed with me.

"You are such a good dancer though," I winked at her. She made my pain go away just by smiling.

"Maybe I can give you lessons," we both laughed. This felt good.

"Well I'm here to help."

"Splendid. You are my slave now," she gave me an evil laugh. I was falling for her, again.

I made it through dinner without breaking down. It felt so nice being able to laugh like that with her. We decided to sit outside since the night was so beautiful. I wanted to go on the beach but that would be too hard.

"So have you talked to John today?" she looked surprised I asked.

"No, I've ignored him. I might call him tomorrow. I didn't want to ruin the fun we were having," she was looking at the stars.

"I'm sorry about earlier. A bunch of things just hit me at once," I needed to get this off my chest.

"It's okay. I understand. Do you want to talk?" she read my mind.

"It's just when I left you it was hard but it had to be done. And for a while I was okay. But then I realized what I had with you and realized I screwed up. I became a heavy drinker to forget about my mistake. But then I got tired of being sad do I just stopped thinking about everything. It was easier. But coming back here, seeing you with John, seeing you hurt, seeing you happy it is all coming back again. It's like it hurts to see you but the only way to get rid of the pain is to see you. So it is a lose – lose situation," I spit it all out and she just stared at me.

"So where does that leave us?" she asked me.

"Friends helping each other heal," I wanted so much more. She nodded.

"Well thanks for sharing friend," she smiled my favorite smile.

"Thanks for listening friend," I gave her my best smile. I wanted to kiss her.

The next chapter should be coming soon. I already have it written but I gotta type it any all that jazz! Hope u enjoyed it. Let me know if you have anything you want me to throw in!