Anime Jeopardy

Here's the nineteenth game. Oh, and you know I only own Charles Tolle.

Episode 19

Charles- And welcome back to Pallet Town, where Anime Jeopardy is holding its special Pokémon charity game. Because of what happened during the break, I would like to apologize to all blind Namibians and balding Malaysians. That said, let's take a look at the scores. Misty is in third place with -73 600 and is playing for Make a Wish Foundation.

Misty- You should make a law about those Daily Doubles, Charles.

Charles- You should think with your brain and not your fingers, Misty. And next time, try not to answer the question incorrectly twenty-nine times. Brock is in second with -49 400 and is playing for the Pokémon Breeders' Association.

Brock- Yeah, so, where's my prize again?

Charles- Brock, you have no money and you're playing for charity. And finally in first place in a commanding lead with -17 300, playing for Pallet Public Radio, Ash just had to show up for this one, didn't he?

Ash- Yes, he did. Now bring the game on! Bringitbringitbringit!

Charles- Better luck to Misty and Brock in the second round. Ash, I hope you spontaneously combust on live YouTube in front of everyone. The Double Jeopardy categories are: WHO'S THAT POKÉMON, CRAYONS, HOT OR COLD, COUNTRY FLAGS, CHESSMEN, and finally, BIRDS THAT HAVE NAMES BEGINNING WITH "RAVE". Misty, you're in third place, so the board belongs to you.

Misty- I'll take Crayons for 200.

Charles- Answer: {brings up a picture of a blue crayon} What color is that crayon? _Ash.

Ash- Orange. ()

Charles- No.

Ash- Fuck you.

Charles- Whatever. _Brock.

Brock- Wait, I'm colorblind. I don't know.

Charles- The color is written on the side of the crayon.

Brock- What is orange? ()

Charles- No. We just established that.

Brock- But I thought you took points from Ash because he didn't answer with a question.

Charles- I sometimes remind contestants that they're supposed to answer with questions, but no one ever listens to me in these games. _Misty.

Misty- What is…I knew this. Wait, don't tell me, is it…no, it's… () Fuck.

Charles- You obviously don't know it. It was a blue crayon, something a water Pokémon trainer like you should know.

Misty- Give me a break, okay?

Ash- It's okay, Misty, it's just his time of the month.

Charles- I am not amused, Mr. Ketchum. Misty, it's still your board.

Misty (pulling out her mallet)- Why should I continue?

Charles- You don't have to. Brock, pick a category.

Brock- Okay, how about…Ash, what should I pick?

Ash- Anything.

Brock- Misty, you've also been here before. What should I pick?

Misty- Try This Is Sparta for 500.

Brock- That's a good one. This Is Sparta for 500.

Charles- Misty, once again, we are not playing the second game again. I'll pick instead this time. Again. For the seventeenth time this game. Hot or Cold for 400. The answer is: Walrein's Ice Beam, is it hot or cold? _Misty, I'll give you a hint. It's cold.

Misty- Hot. ()

Charles- You are so stupid. _Brock.

Brock- What is hot? I'll take Hot or Cold for 1 000. ()

Charles- No. _Ash.

Ash- Charles, we all know that Walrein is a Fire type and doesn't learn Ice Beam. Get your facts straight. ()

Charles- Okay, Ash, I know you're just trying to fuck with me.

Ash- Whooooa! I think you're a good guy, Charles, but not that good. Not that good. But your sister is a good girl. A gooooood girl.

Charles- Ash, if you shut your mouth, Charles will let you pick a category.

Ash- I'm not a little boy anymore, Charles, but I'll pick a category. I'll take Birds That Have Names Beginning with "Rape".

Charles- What? (looks at the board and sees the defaced category) We frisked you for your spray paint, we probed you to make sure it wasn't up your ass, we x-rayed you to make sure you didn't swallow it. How'd you get it in here.

Misty- I have a rather large vagina.

Charles- I'm sorry I asked. For 1 600, the answer is: This black bird's name begins with "rave". _Ash.

Ash- What is a rapen? ()

Charles- No.

Ash- The bird's name begins with "rape." Why isn't it the answer?

Charles- You defaced the board, you a-hole. _Misty.

Misty- Murkrow! ()

Charles- No. _Brock, don't say what is Murkrow. That's not going to be the answer.

Brock- Then I don't know. ()

Charles- Goddamn you three are dumb. | The answer was of course, a raven. I'll pick a category this time. Who's That Pokémon for 2 000. To make things easier, it will be a Pokémon that one of you owned anytime during the first three seasons when you didn't suck as much as you do now. Answer: {brings up a shadow of Onix} Who's that Pokémon? _Brock.

Brock- I know this, I still have one. That's Steelix. ()

Charles- I don't ever recall you having a Steelix, but you're close. It's the Pokémon that evolves into Steelix, meaning it's…_Misty.

Misty- What is Steelix? ()

Charles (slowly growing impatient)- No. And since there is only one other rocky snakelike Pokémon from the first three seasons of the show, that means it's…_Ash.

Ash- Who is Steelix. ()

Charles- Not even close.

Ash- Oh, come ON. Now you're just messin' with us.

Charles- No, I am doing nothing of the sort. I tell you what, let's just go to Final Jeopardy, I'm getting sick of this garbage already. The category is: GREEK TRADGEDIES. (looks at the board for a minute) On second thought, the category is Things You Like. Write down or draw a picture of something or someone you like. ( ) This isn't hard at all. Ash could draw me killing myself while he does my sister or he could write down Pikachu. Anything you like. ( ) Time's up. Let's see what you did. We'll start with Misty, who wrote down…Caterpie. I know very well that on and off the set you have an immense phobia of anything with six legs and an exoskeleton.

Misty- You're right. But what I like about Caterpie is that I stepped on one this morning.

Charles- You are a sadistic bitch. Your wager is…60 000. Wow. Moving on, Brock wrote down…nothing.

Brock- Breeding pays pretty well.

Charles- You're playing for charity, Brock.

Brock- So? I could start my own charity with this much money.

Charles- You didn't win any money. Be a dick, then. Speaking of dicks, let's go to Ash, who wrote down…Charles Tolle. Yeah, don't tell me you like me.

Ash- I do like you, Charles. I even said it earlier. I said you're a good guy.

Charles- And then you said my sister was a gooooood girl.

Ash- I was joking. Can't we get along?

Charles- I suppose for this long. Let's see your wager…fucks other men. (Ash laughs wildly) I should have seen that one coming.

Ash- And you fell for it anyway! That's what's funniest!

Charles- Yes, well, the final scores are Misty has -137 800, Brock has -53 600, and Ash has -21 500. Unfortunately, the three of you played so badly that I have to take money away from these charities. I hope you're happy. This was Anime Jeopardy, I'm Charles Tolle, and I hope you three go to hell.

What SNL game did I take Final Jeopardy from? You gotta let me know if you want more, or I may stop! Read and review, please!