Anime Jeopardy
Here's the twentieth game. I only own Charles Tolle. The first month is over after this. Let me know if you want more or not! And I know that my "Anime" works don't have all anime characters. Sue me. Animated takes too long to type.
Episode 20/Part I
Charles- And welcome to Anime Jeopardy. Once again, I will recommend that if you watch a game show, watch one that has some actual intelligence to it. One like the real Jeopardy. (silence) I know you're out there, assholes. I can hear you breathing and I see you in the audience, ready to laugh at me as the contestants say stupid shit and I stand here wanting to kill myself. Today's contestants are Mr. 4 of Baroque Works in One Piece. Welcome, Mr. 4.
Mr. 4- …Hhhhhhhiiiiiiii, Chhhhhaaaaarrrrrllllllleeeeeesssss.
Charles- It may have been a mistake to have him on the show. Also here is 004 from Cyborg 009. Welcome, Albert.
004- Don't call me that. I legally changed my name to my character's name.
Charles- You are your character.
004- I know.
Charles- Wonderful. And finally, William Murderface of the band Dethklok from the show Metalocalypse is also here. Welcome, William.
Murderface- I don't give a piss-sh.
Charles- Okay. I hope you don't kiss your grandmother with that mouth. Good luck to the three of you. the categories for the first round are: BASEBALL, METAL, VEGETARIAN COOKING, UP OR DOWN, DO YOU FILL THIS WITH INK AND WRITE WITH IT, and finally, FRACTIONS. 004, I like your series a lot. Mr. 4, you're too slow. William, I can't understand half of what you say half the time, so 004, pick first.
004- Hehheh. I'm a vegetarian and a vagitarian, so I eat a lot of bush. Okay, let's go to Vegetarian Cooking for 100.
Charles- That's a very mature joke. The answer is: This is the bean from which we get soy. _004.
004- What is kidney? ()
Charles- No.
004- What do you mean no? I gave you a bean, didn't I?
Charles- You did, but that's not the right answer.
004- You're not the right answer! _
Charles- Mr. 4.
Mr. 4- …Wwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttt iiiiiiiiiiisssssssss… ()
Charles- Time. At least try to do better next time. _William.
Murderface- …
Charles- Do you have an answer?
Murderface- …
Charles- Try saying soybeans.
Murderface- …
Charles- Or better yet, what are soybeans.
Murderface- … () |
Charles- Never mind. The answer was soybeans.
Mr. 4- Sssssssoooooooooyyyyyyyyybbbbbbbbeeeeeeeaaaaaaaannnnnnnnsssss.
Charles- Yes, Mr. 4. Soybeans. Okay, it's still 004's board.
004- Okay, let's try Baseball for 500.
Charles- This is how many strikes they allow you before you are out. _Mr. 4.
Mr. 4- Wwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttt iiiiiiiiiiissssssssss fffffffffffff…
Charles- You're almost there.
Mr. 4- …fffffffffffffiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvveeeeeeee? ()
Charles- Never mind. _004.
004 (on his cell phone)- Hey, 002? Yeah, it's 004. I need your help on a question.
Charles- I should disqualify him for this, but if he's going to take advice on this game from 002, that's probably punishment enough.
004- Hey, Charles, 002 just gave me an answer to the question.
Charles- Oh, this I've got to hear. What did he tell you?
004- What is a protractor? ()
Charles- Okay, you lose 500 for the incorrect answer, and another 500 for illegal use of that cell phone. _William. And this time, please at least try to answer the question.
Murderface- Fuck-kh this-sh, I wanna play sh-omething. ()
Charles- Well, at least you said something this time. _004, you already rang in.
004- This time, 002 said to say what is seven () and to also pick Fractions for 6 000.
Charles- That's another 500 you didn't need to lose, the answer was three strikes, the board is no longer yours, and the point values don't go any higher than 1 000. I'll let Mr. 4 or William pick something. (empty stares) Just pick a category. _ Pick a category as long as you're not 004.
004- Do you have something against me?
Charles- No, I have something against 002, to whom you're mistakenly turning for advice.
004 (on his phone)- Yeah, he said that.
Charles- Are you even listening to me?
004 (on his phone)- I know, 002. Yeah, it's kinda fun. What? You sure? Okay. Hey, Charles, 002 wants to talk to you.
Charles- Gladly. (takes phone and screams) GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU PILE OF DOG SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! (slams phone on ground and stomps on it) Okay, we have fractions on the brain, so let's go there for 1 000. {brings up a picture of a pie missing a quarter of a piece} How much pie is gone? I'll give you guys a hint, it's a quarter gone. _004.
004- Why did you give us the answer?
Charles- So you're saying you know it.
004- I didn't say I knew it, I'm saying you might have given the question away.
Charles- I said that on purpose.
004- Is something wrong with you? ()
Charles- I'll just take your money now. _ Oh, God no. Mr. 4.
Mr. 4- Wwwwwwhhhhhhhhaaaaaatttttttttt iiiiiiiiiiisssssssssss…
Charles- I can't take this.
Mr. 4- …tttttttttwwwwwwoooooo…
Charles- At this point, he's likely wrong, but if he says two eighths, he's technically right.
Mr. 4- …ffffffiiiiiiiiiffffffffftttttttttthhhhhhhhhsssssss? ()
Charles- Bringing his cumbersome ass on this show was one of the biggest mistakes this studio has ever made. Well, I need a break real fucking badly, so we'll be right back. In the meantime, I want you to pull whatever apparatus you are using to watch this out of the wall you have it plugged into and do to it what you saw me do to 004's phone.
Episode 20/Part II
Charles- And welcome back to the show. Okay, William. So, I hear that they always cut your parts out of the music.
Murderface- That's-sh horse-sh piss-sh!
Charles- Speaking of piss, why are you doing it on my foot?
Murderface- Ahhhhh!
Charles- Yeeeeah. (takes a huge step away) Okay, 004 has gotten on my nerves way too much already, and Mr. 4 is slower than a race between an arthritic sloth and an arthritic glacier, so let's continue the game.
Mr. 4- Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa!
Charles- It appears that Mr. 4 just got 004's joke from earlier. Once again, it'll probably be best if I pick a category, so we'll go to Do You Fill This with Ink and Write with It for 200. As I have stated before, I don't write the categories, because if I did, that one would be much shorter, and would simply be Is This a Pen. In any case, I will name an object or show you a picture of an object, and you'll simply tell me whether or not it's a pen. For 200, the answer is: a stapler. Do you fill a stapler up with ink and write with it, because if you do, then it's a pen. _Mr. 4, don't even bother.
Mr. 4- Wwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttt iiiiiiiiiissssssssssssss…
Charles- Why, why, whyhyhyyy!
Mr. 4- …yyyyyeeeesssss? ()
Charles- I suppose I should commend you for giving an answer, but no, you're incorrect. And since there are only two choices, and one has been ruled out, that means the answer is…_004.
004 (on another cell phone)- What do you think the answer is? Okay. 002 says the answer is what is a tape measure? ()
Charles- Okay, first of all, that's not the question I asked. Second of all, you lose another 200 for illegal use of the cell phone. And third of all, where the hell did you get that phone?
004- I always carry a spare should something happen to one.
Charles- And is that your last phone?
004- Uh, yes, it is.
Charles- Good. (goes over and takes the phone)
002 (over the phone)- Hey, Charles, you do know that theft and destruction of another's personal property is a crime?
Charles (on the phone)- 002, you are a piece of shit, I hate you, and you are just…arrgh! Get the fuck out of my life!
002 (over the phone)- That's a little harsh to say to someone, isn't it?
Charles (on the phone)- EAT ME, YOU SONOFABITCH!!!!!!!! (throws phone on ground and stomps on it) | Okay, time's finally up. The answer was no, a stapler is not a pen. Part of me wants to continue this round, and part of me wants to beat the shit out of the part of me that wants to continue, so we'll go to the second round.
Episode 20/Part III
Charles- And welcome back to Anime Jeopardy. Because of what happened during the break, I would like to apologize to all Scottish children, anyone of Slavic descent, and all men named Eric. That said, let's take a look at the scores. 004 is in third place with -3 000, so that means this game could be a lot worse.
004- Oh, blow it out your ass.
Charles- William Murderface is in a commanding lead of -600.
Murderface- This-sh game blows-sh!
004- That's not what I'd call a commanding lead.
Charles- Fuck both of you. And lastly, Mr. 4 is in second with -1 800.
Mr. 4- …
Charles- Right. Let's start up this round so that we can end it. The Double Jeopardy categories are: WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY, THE NUMBER 12, HITS BY TONI BASIL, IDIOTIC PARIS HILTONS, US STATES ENDING IN "EW YORK", and finally, CYBERNETIC SCIENCE. Okay, I'm going to make five things clear and fix a problem. The answer to every question in the first category is Friday. The answer to every question in the second category is 12. The answer to every question in the third category is "Hey, Ricky". The answer to every question in the fourth category is Paris Hilton. The answer to every question in the fifth category is New York. And we're going to replace the sixth category with THINGS THAT HURT WHEN YOU PUT THEM UP YOUR NOSE. Okay, William, you're in the lead, so the board is yours.
Murderface- Why ya want me ta pick-kh?
Charles- Okay, I'll pick for you. Let's go to What Day is it Today for 1 600. Today is…_004.
004- What is Sunday? ()
Charles- No.
004- Damn. _
Charles- Mr. 4.
Mr. 4- Wwwwwwhhhhhhhhaaaaaatttttt iiiiiissssss Ttttttttuuuuuueeeessss…()
Charles- It's obvious you were about to say Tuesday, which is not correct. _William.
Murderface- What is-sh today's-sh date? ()
Charles- That's not the question I asked you.
Murderface- I wanna know! Tell me! (attacks his podium with his knife)
Charles- William, I would not advice stabbing at your podium with a metal knife, because if the electric podium short circuits, you might…(Murderface gets a bad zap)…suffer a dangerous electrocution. Well, unfortunately, that prevents everything you have there from working, so I'm afraid you can no longer play.
Murderface- Ouch-sh!
Charles- Yes, it does hurt. Obviously, you're so stupid it's a wonder when you know that you're in pain. Well, if you can't play, I see no point in letting you pick a category, so it's unfortunately 004's board, so I will pick a category for him.
004- I resent that.
Charles- And I resent you. Let's go to The Number 12 for 200. Remember, the answer to every question here is 12. So that means I will read you the question, and when I stop talking, you ring in and you say "what is 12" when I say your name. Okay? Let's try it. This is how many months there are in a year. (blank stares) Okay, I've stopped talking, so you can ring in now…I distinctly told you that the answer is twelve. _Well, at least someone rang in. Mr. 4.
Mr. 4- Wwwwwwwwhhhhhhhaaaaatttttt iiiiiiiiisssssss tttttttttthhhhhhrrrrrrreeeeeeee? ()
Charles- For the love of God, no! Think about what I said. The answer to every question in this category is…_004.
004- What is nine? ()
Charles- It's okay, Charles. It's just one wrong answer. Just yet another wrong answer. Someone please kill me. | The answer was of course twelve. There are twelve months every year. Okay, I'll pick again. Let's go to US States Ending in "Ew York". Remember, the answer to every question in this category is New York, so it's a similar deal. When I stop talking, you say New York. For 1 000: New York City is located in this state. _004.
004- What is twelve? () How's that wrong? You said it was a similar deal to the previous question.
Charles- It was a similar deal in that I told you what the answer was, and so you were supposed to say the answer when I finished speaking. Does anyone else have an answer? And by anyone else, I mean no one, because William destroyed his podium, and I know I don't want to hear what Mr. 4 will unsuccessfully try to say, so…_004, you already rang in.
004- What is North Ew York? ()
Charles- Well, at least that answer was somewhat stately. | No, the answer was New York. At this point, I don't care who picks a category.
004- Then let's go to The Number 12 for 200.
Charles- We already went to that question and…actually, you know, let's go back, since I've already told you the answer, and we were there not that long ago, so I'd better ask it while the answer is fresh in your heads. This is how many months there are in a year. _004.
004- What is New York? ()
Charles- Are you kidding me? _Mr. 4.
Mr. 4- Wwwwwwhhhhhheeeeeerrrrreeeeee iiiiiiisssssss Nnnnnnnneeeeeewwwww Yyyyyyyoooooorrrrrkkkk? ()
Charles- I can't believe this. _004, if you say something, I will shoot you with an assault rifle.
004- What is ten? () Dammit, 002, this isn't fun anymore!
Charles- Wait, wait, wait. How the hell are you still talking to 002?
004 (ignoring Charles and talking on a walkie-talkie)- No, it's not! I want to play the game seriously now.
Charles- Are you fucking kidding me? (grabs the walkie-talkie) 004, you had your chance to play the game seriously, and you threw it away. (into walkie-talkie) GO TO HELL, YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!! (slams walkie-talkie on ground and stomps on it) I've had enough of this bullshit! One month is enough to qualify as unconstitutional torture! We're going to Final Jeopardy with all three contestants in the red as usual, and the category will be YOUR FAVORITE COLOR. Write down your favorite color. ( ) Write down any color you like. Or any color you don't like, I don't care. ( ) Time's up. Let's see what you did here. Mr. 4 has just started to formulate an answer, so there's no point in seeing what he's trying to do, as it's probably wrong and it wouldn't surprise me if he's illiterate. That means I have to move to 004, who wrote down…nothing. And he wagered…nothing. Why?
004- None of your goddamn business.
Charles- Okay. And lastly, there's William, who can't do anything on account of the fact that he destroyed his podium earlier in the game. The final scores are Mr. 4 in second with -3 800, 004 in third with -7 000, and William having the fewest negative points with -2 200. Thank God the first month of this bullshit is OVER! This was Anime Jeopardy, I'm Charles Tolle, and…hold it, my phone's vibrating. (answers it) Hello?
002 (over phone)- Hey, Charles! Guess who?
Charles- GET OFF MY PHONE! How'd you even get my number?
002- I'll never tell.
Charles- First thing tomorrow, I'm getting a new phone. Good frickin' night, and I quit.
Hope you enjoyed the first month of Anime Jeopardy. You've read, please review, and I may bring you more.