"Damn right I'm the best thief in the world." Shego had immodestly agreed, earlier that day in the gymnasium. "But even I need time to plan a heist. We've got –" she checked her watch. "- approximately nine hours to steal this competition out from under Triple-S. I'm not sure that's possible."
"Anything is possible for a Possible." Kim replied firmly.
"It's a nice slogan." Shego allowed. "But now we have to back it up."
"Well ... let's think about this. We got zero points, and so did Mom and Dad and Camille Leon and Falsetto Jones. I guess we can assume the same will happen to Sheela and Manx."
"Senior's obviously done his homework, so yeah, he's probably figured out a way to make sure they wash out as well."
"Which means Bonnie and Junior will win because they were the only ones with points."
"That is how the competition works, Pumpkin." Shego folded her arms, obviously growing tired of the younger woman's step-by-step analysis. "Is this going somewhere?"
"I was just wondering what would happen if everyone got zero points."
The green woman paused, then blinked slowly.
"... I guess they'd have to treat that like any other draw."
"And what happens when there's a draw?"
"Well, I haven't heard of it ever actually happening." Shego admitted. "But the fundamental rule applies: judges' decision is final."
"So they'd have to pick who wins?"
"Yeah." The green woman shrugged. "Not that it matters much. Bonnie and Junior finished their mission. They got more than zero points."
"Sure. But they could still be disqualified for cheating, right?"
Shego considered the idea.
"I guess. But the people who run this tournament aren't big on ethics and morals, Pumpkin. They don't see cheating itself as a bad thing. Just getting caught doing it."
"So we'd need proof."
"Iron-clad." The green woman nodded. "And we have to make sure there's no way they can sweep it under the rug. Triple-S has played them. These aren't the sort of people who like to admit they've been had. Give them a chance and they'll pretend it never happened."
Kim's eyes widened.
"But ..." The redhead trailed off, then pulled a face. "That makes no sense! Either way, they got tricked ... pretending they didn't just lets Senior get away with it!"
"That's one way to look at it." Shego admitted. "But I think they'll see it more as 'Either way, Senior tricked us. At least this way, no-one else knows that'."
"So what you're saying is ... not only do we need to find iron-clad proof that Senior cheated, but we also need to show that proof to as many people as possible?"
"Yeah." Shego kept her tone matter of fact, but her eyes never left the younger woman's face. Still confident, Pumpkin?
"No big." Kim emphatically answered the unspoken question. She thought for a moment. "Is the awards ceremony like the gala dinner at the beginning of the tournament? Lots of guests?"
"Yeah." The green woman nodded, her eyes narrowing as she followed the redhead's chain of thought. "Even the organizers like to make an appearance, by video relay. It's definitely our best opportunity to make the whole thing too public to be ignored."
"So now all we have to do is work out how to get the proof we need." Kim wound a flame-red curl of hair around one finger as she thought. "This sitch would be so much easier if it was a normal mission. I could just break into Senior's lair and confront him, he'd tell me his plan and unleash his spinning tops of doom, and pretty soon after that his base would be self-destructing."
Shego started.
"Wait. What did you just say?"
"His base would be -"
"Not that. Before the spinning tops of doom."
"I'd confront him and he'd tell me his plan?" Kim frowned. "I know Senior takes villainous traditions seriously, but not even he is going to stand up in front of all the guests and confess he's rigged the whole competition."
"Villainous gloating has a lot more to do with ego than with tradition, Kimmie." Shego stood and paced across the gymnasium, trying to work off some nervous energy. "But you're right that he won't do it with an audience. At least not one he knows about."
"You mean confront him and secretly record the conversation? Something like that?" Kim asked. The older woman gave an answering nod, and the teen hero turned to one side and pushed gently on the punching bag, watching it swing slowly back and forth as she considered the idea. "It might work, but it seems a long shot. Senior's bound to be suspicious if one of us confronts him. He'd probably just deny everything. Even if he does admit what he did, can either of us build a concealed camera to record him doing it? Or patch into the complex's internal camera system to tape it that way? I normally leave that stuff to Wade."
"When it comes to surveillance systems, I mainly know how to disable them." Shego admitted, addressing the second issue first. "What about your parents? Could they handle that for us if we asked them?"
Kim's eyes widened.
"As you would say: 'doy'. I should have thought of that." The redhead gave a rueful grin. "I'm just not used to thinking of mom and dad as high tech supervil -" she paused, obviously uncomfortable with the word she'd been about to use.
"High tech scoundrels." Shego suggested.
"Thanks." The teen hero flashed a relieved grin.
"Since it seems we're stealing each other's catchphrases: 'no big'." The pale woman shrugged, trying to ignore the mild pleasure she felt at Kim's gratitude. "It's probably a more accurate term for them, anyway. Like I said before, they never really did anything outright villainous. They were something more like, say ... Turk 182."
"Turk who?" Kim looked blank. The older woman shook her head in disgust.
"Kids these days."
"Uh huh. Because you're what, all of five years older than me, grandma?"
"Nearly six." Shego thought for a moment and then sighed. "Damn. You weren't even born when that movie came out."
"You couldn't have been very old either, then."
"Oh, I only saw it a couple of years ago. It was part of my 'Kim Cattrall Week'."
"Okay, this thing you have for older women is getting just a little creepy." Kim teased. "Who's next, Nana Possible? Or maybe you should just quit the half measures and go with someone like Cleopatra?"
"I think the language barrier could be a problem with Cleo." The older woman replied, dryly. "How about we get back on topic? Unless you'd like to talk about your crushes?"
"Uh ... back on topic sounds good." Kim blushed deeply, dropping her eyes to stare at the ground. Shego raised an eyebrow. Huh. Guess there is someone she's into. Wonder who the lucky guy is?
"Right. So you get your parents to hack into the cameras in the base so that we can record Senior, and also patch the recording back into the live video feed for the banquet. We need the whole audience - in person or over the broadcast - to see it."
"Mom and dad can do it."
"Yeah, I know. Anything is possible for a Possible, right?" Shego's gave a grin to take the sting out of her words. "Well, riddle me this, Batgirl ... how to we persuade Triple-S to spill his plan to us in the first place?"
"Well like you said, there's always ego."
"True." Shego folded her arms and leaned back against the gymnasium wall. "But pinning our plan on the assumption that our enemies will be vain and stupid is ... well, vain and stupid."
"... yeah." The redhead sighed in agreement, and grabbed the heavy bag, resting her forehead against it as she considered the problem. After a few moments, her lips curled into a smile. "You're right. We can't rely on Senior telling us what he did. But I bet he'd tell Bonnie."
Shego frowned.
"I don't know if you've noticed, Kimmie, but Bonnie-butt doesn't seem to like you very much -" the green woman broke off as she saw the smug grin on the redhead's face. Her mind raced. Then the light dawned. "You know Princess, that's pretty clever. I knew there was a reason I chose you as a sidekick."
"Partner."
Shego paused, biting down on an instinctive remark about the double meaning of 'partner'. Somehow it didn't seem as funny, any more. Instead she just nodded.
"Yeah, partner."
To Senior's credit, when confronted with two Bonnies, his look of shock lasted only a moment. Then he released the arm of the woman beside him and turned slightly, to give her a gracious nod of his head.
"Ms Leon. I seem to have mistaken you for someone else."
The Bonnie on stage gave a wide smile, her tanned skin tone lightening and her brunette hair shimmering to a bottle blonde.
"Like, totally my bad." She gave a flick of her diamond-ring encrusted hand.
Senior turned back to the bewildered crowd. He paused long enough to shoot an apologetic look toward Bonnie and Junior –
"Why is my farzher sad?"
- then opened his mouth to speak. Before he could, however, the huge video screen sprang to life, displaying an image of Senior, waiting in an antechamber outside the ballroom. A clock display in the bottom of the screen showed that the image was recorded eight minutes earlier. In the middle of the audience, Kim bounced on the balls of her feet. Please let this have worked.
"Do you need to go to the bathroom, or are you just trying to be tall enough to see?" A light green hand settled on her shoulder, holding her in place. Kim shot her taller companion a mock scowl.
"Hate you."
"Hate you too. Now hush and pay attention to your parents' work."
Sound cut in on the image, echoing the slow tap of Senior's cane on the ground as he walked back and forth. On stage, the flesh-and-blood billionaire was talking rapidly into a cell phone. Kim smiled. Probably trying to get the video feed cut off. Good luck with that, Senor S. Mom and dad have it sealed up tight.
"Mister Senior!" Camille Leon entered the picture, her appearance completely indistinguishable from that of the real Bonnie Rockwaller.
"Bonnie!" Senor Senior greeted her warmly, taking her hands and kissing her cheek. "How many times must I tell you, as my son's fiancé, you should call me by my first name."
"Oh." Camille's face showed a flicker of concern, but she hid it swiftly. In the ballroom, Kim winced. Senor Senior's first name hadn't been a part of the information they'd given the blonde heiress. "Sorry. I'm a bit stressed out."
"There is no reason to be concerned." Senior said soothingly. "In a few minutes all the final checks will have been made and I will be free to announce you and Junior as the winners of the competition."
"But Kim knows we cheated!"
Watching the recording, the teen hero held her breath. This was the most delicate part of Camille's task. Although it seemed likely, they couldn't be certain that Senior had told Bonnie about his plan. Which meant that Camille had to make it clear that "Bonnie" knew now, without specifying when she'd found out.
"That weird green dyke she's teaming with find out what our mission was." Camille continued her role, speaking rapidly and without pauses. Spankin'. Keep throwing information at him so he doesn't stop to think. "Kim knows I hate my sisters, so she put it together: how you gave them all missions they couldn't possibly go through with, while ours was actually something I was more than happy to do. She just accosted me in the bathroom and laid it all out!" Camille flicked her hair back, then rushed on with speaking as soon as she saw Senior's mouth open. "I gave her the line that whatever my differences with my sisters, they were still my family. I don't think she believed it. What if she goes to the tournament organizers?"
"Well done." Shego muttered as she watched. "Leading question. Keeps him thinking about what you want him to think about."
"I assure you, my dear, that any accusations Kim Possible might make will have no impact on the outcome of this tournament." Senor Senior patted the false Bonnie's hand. "All she has is supposition. Even if the organizers were inclined to admit appeals, she has no firm evidence of our little ploy. And she is out of time, in any case." He gestured off screen. "Would you like to accompany me on stage for the announcement?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Camille smiled.
There was a stunned silence in the ballroom, then an angry muttering arose from the crowd. Senior, his normally dark complexion turned ashen with dismay, leaned heavily on his cane. Bonnie and Junior moved to his side. Watching them, Kim was surprised to see her long-time rival put an arm around the old man's shoulders, checking on him with what seemed to be a genuine look of concern on her face.
There was a blare of noise from the video screen, cutting through the hubbub of noise and causing several people to jump in surprise. A distorted image of a cloaked figure appeared on the screen.
"Your attention please." The figure intoned, its voice unnaturally deep and somber. "It has come to our attention that there have been some irregularities in this year's competition."
"Ya think?" Shego snorted.
"Ms Possible, if you could present yourself, please."
"I'm here." Kim vaulted up onto the stage, facing one of the cameras. The air moved behind her as another figure followed, and the redhead suppressed a smile, knowing who had her back without needing to look.
"Shego." The figure's sounded deeply disapproving. "Your participation in this conversation was not requested."
"And yet, here I am." The green woman took out an emery board and used it to point at Kim. "We're a team."
"Very well." The figure gave a long-suffering sigh. "You understand that by identifying yourself with Ms Possible, you will share in any repercussions she suffers for her actions?"
"You understand that if you try and mess with me or Kimmie I'll kick your ass into next week?"
"Shego, play nice." Kim did her best to smother her smile, then turned her attention back to the camera. "How can I help you?"
"You've really done quite enough for one day." The figure said testily. "I haven't had heartburn like this since Alex Rider retired."
"My heart bleeds." Shego glanced up from filing her nails. "Do you have something to say to Kimmie, or not?"
"Ms Possible ... through your diligent efforts –" the figure clearly had to force those two words through gritted teeth, "- you and your associates have uncovered some ... irregularities ... in Senor Senior Senior's administration of the tournament. In light of these irregularities, we have been forced to disqualify the team of Senor Senior Junior and Bonnie Rockwaller."
The figure paused, then continued.
"This means that there is a five-way tie for first – and thus also last – place, between all the participating teams. To assist us in determining how to resolve this situation, could you please give us a brief summary of how you uncovered Senor Senior's duplicity?"
"Uh, sure." Kim shrugged. "Like Camille said to Senior when she was pretending to be Bonnie ... Shego found out that Bonnie and Junior's mission had been to steal from Bonnie's sisters. I know that Bonnie hates Lonnie and Connie, so I knew something wasn't right. So Shego and I came up with a plan ... I'd distract the real Bonnie, while Camille pretended to be her and got Senior to admit to cheating. My pare- ... the Science Rogues were the ones who patched into the security systems, and into your broadcast. And they also gave me this." Kim touched the brooch of the shawl she was wearing. "It's a simple tone transmitter. Camille had the receiver. I touched it once to let her know I had Bonnie out of the way, then again when Bonnie headed back inside. That's all there was to it. So not the drama."
"So you relied on the skills of two other teams to complete this task?"
"Sure." Kim nodded. "Shego and I came up with the plan, but we needed the others to help pull it off."
"Thank you, Ms Possible. Please stand by for a further announcement." The screen blinked off.
"Hurry up and wait." Shego rolled her eyes, then critically examined one of her nails. "When this is over, I'm getting a proper manicure. And I'm spending about a week on a massage table."
Kim nodded, fighting the urge to start bouncing on the balls of her feet once more. They need to tell us who won, already.
"We have an announcement to make." The cloaked figure materialized on the screen once more. It spoke brusquely, a clearly grudging tone in its voice. "For their actions in identifying and revealing the actions of Senor Senior Senior, which might have compromised the integrity of the tournament –"
A muffled chuckle ran through the crowd at the word 'integrity'. Kim had to suppress a smile, and Shego snickered openly.
"- we have decided to award the teams of the Science Rogues, Leon and Jones, and Shego and Partner –" the figure icily refused to speak Kim's name. "- a bonus of 1 point each. Thus, there is a three-way tie for first place, and the prize will be split equally amongst the three winning teams."
Without another word, the screen went blank. Kim and Shego were left on stage, in front of the entire ballroom.
"We won." The redhead laughed incredulously, scarcely able to believe it. She turned to the green woman, giving her a huge smile. "We won!"
"Yeah." Shego seemed as stunned as Kim felt. "We really did."
"Shego! We won!" Impulsively, the redhead hugged the older woman, squeezing her partner with fierce affection. "We won." She repeated into the taller woman's collarbone, then tilted her head up to look Shego in the eye, marveling at the brilliant emerald green. "You and me. We won."
And then suddenly, heart hammering in her chest, she was up on her toes and her lips were pressing against the green woman's mouth and for a glorious moment, it felt like Shego was kissing her back –
- and then the green woman jerked away, staring at her with what looked like utter horror. Kim struggled to think of something to say, some way to apologize, but she managed only an incoherent gurgle.
Shego turned and ran.
Without another word, the screen went blank. Kim and Shego were left on stage, in front of the entire ballroom. Shego blinked. Holy shit.
"We won." The redhead laughed incredulously, seemingly as stunned as Shego was. The younger woman turned to face her, giving her a huge smile. "We won!"
"Yeah." Somewhere inside her, a bitter little voice wanted to complain that a three-way tie wasn't really winning, but Shego felt too good to listen to it. "We really did."
"Shego! We won!" Suddenly, the redhead hugged her, surprisingly strong arms squeezing her fiercely. "We won." Kim repeated, her voice slightly muffled against Shego's shoulder, then tilted her head up to look the pale woman in the eye. "You and me. We won."
We did she was going to say. But suddenly she was falling into those deep green pools and instead of speaking she was leaning down and her lips were pressing against the redhead's mouth and for a glorious moment, she could fool herself that Kim was kissing her back –
- and then the green woman jerked backward, feeling stark terror course through her body. You idiot. You just blew it, big time. Kim was obviously stunned speechless. Her mouth opened and closed, but she managed only a choked off gurgle. Pumpkin's so freaked out, she can't even talk.
Shego turned and ran.
Author's Note: Don't you hate that part of romance stories where the two characters have a misunderstanding, that if they just took five minutes to sit down and talk to each other, would get resolved? I know I do. You'd never catch me using a cheap trick like ... oh. Oops :)