Christmas in Wutai

(Original Story Concept: Day Off)

Although Wutai celebrated the traditional celebrations of their societal ancestors, ever since Shinra had occupied their town, they now celebrated Christmas as well. The only part of town not covered in red and green baubles was the massive statue of Da-Chao, which the Lord Godo had expressly forbade being decorated. Even though Shinra did not take Lord Godo's position terribly seriously, they decided that it would be better to avoid an incident, especially during Christmas.

Reno had decided to spend this holiday in Wutai mainly to be away from the office Christmas party, which every year had its budget slashed. If the trend had continued this year, then the party would consist of vending machine snacks organized delicately around a two-liter bottle of store-bought ginger ale. Maybe some paper-mache ornaments.

Reno took his two close comrades Rude and Elena with him. Rude had tried to convince Reno that Elena was just going to cause them to have to do work again, but Reno told him, albeit in a disappointed tone, that he wouldn't be a good boss if he didn't allow his subordinates to join in the celebration.

So far, Elena had actually been in the best spirit. Well, spirits would be a more appropriate word, as she was now knocking back her twelfth egg nog. Rude couldn't help but feel a slight harping in his chest, which was no doubt his masculine pride hurting at this impressive display by Elena. Even though the alcohol content in normal egg nog was nothing to brag about, when you mixed it the way that the boys at the Turtle's Paradise did (2 parts egg nog: 1 part vodka), then it had a bit of a kick to it.

"So this is why you guys are always drunk!" Elena smiled. "My head feels all funny."

"Damn, you figured as petite as she is, she'd be a lightweight, but she's still holding her head up after that," Reno chuckled. "You're gone after like, what, five of those?"

Rude cursed internally, but said nothing, continue to suck on his lime green whiskey.

Suddenly two guards burst into the Turtle's Paradise. "Thank goodness it's true. The Turks are here!"

Reno sighed. "Look, I don't care what mess you've got on your hands, you can clean it up yourself. It's Christmas!"

"It's not what you think!" The first soldier shouted. "There is some girl trapped up on Da-Chao, and nobody can get there because of the snow and ice!"

"Do I look like a fireman?" Reno asked. "What makes you think we can get up there to save that girl?"

"You've got the chopper," The second soldier observed.

"And you're the only qualified pilot in town. Anybody else trying to fly in this mess would be suicide," The first continued.

"Oh, well you're in luck. I hear the holidays gets some people depressed, just find one of them to do it," Reno replied curtly.

Elena, despite her inebriation, spoke. "Shame on you, Reno."

Rude was wearing his shades, but Reno could tell that he was rolling his eyes in an "I-told-you-so" manner.

"What was that, darling?" Reno asked.

"It's Christmas! How would you like to be stuck up on some rock in the freezing cold with nobody coming to save you huh?" Elena shook an accusatory finger at him. "Santa's gonna leave coal in your stocking!"

Elena then fell out of her chair, knocking over what looked like a very expensive bust.

"Fine," Reno sighed. "I mean if you're gonna play the Santa-card on me."

Rude shrugged his shoulders. "Should we just leave her here?"

"Yeah, that works," Reno replied.

They headed out of the bar, and north towards a small, well-lit stone square which Reno had used as his helipad. A group of musicians had set up shop near the massive AC-600, and the sound of Good Christian Men, Rejoice being played on koto and shamisen was not exactly offensive to the ear, but it was unnervingly different. The spinning of the massive blades managed to knock over the band, which caused Rude to spit whiskey out of his nose.

"And to all, a good night!" Reno laughed, as they took off.

The AC-600 slowly approached the side of Da-Chao. Seeing as there was no safe landing zone, especially in this blizzard, Reno decided to take a chance and have Rude keep the chopper airborne while he searched for the girl on foot.

"Hey, intelligence says that there is a cave with fire pits near the mouth of Da-Chao. If she's smart she'll have headed there to stay warm and dry," Rude said.

"If she was smart she wouldn't have climbed up a godforsaken rock in the middle of a blizzard," Reno retorted. "But maybe her survival instincts are late-bloomers. I'll check there first."

A short hike through the blistering wind was more than enough excitement for Reno. After about ten minutes in the blizzard conditions the only thing keeping him going was the fact that he hadn't heard the massive explosion indicating that Rude's alcohol had gotten the better of him and he had sent the AC-600 crashing into the side of the mountain.

He finally reached the fire pit cavern, where he saw a young girl in what could at best be called a stylish winter coat, and a worse an impractical one. She wore jeans, but it seemed only grudgingly as one of the knees had a noticeable tear that was clearly not caused by her trek.

Reno recognized this girl.

"Yuffie," Reno called out.

Yuffie looked up at him, and rushed at him with her shuriken in hand. Reno only had a split second to dodge her attack, and did so. He grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around, but she kicked his knee and broke the hold with her free hand.

"Calm down!" Reno shouted. "I'm here to rescue you!"

"Yeah right. Like I needed rescuing!" Yuffie shouted, trying to maintain her pride.

"Oh, you don't? Cause that's cool. If you're really fine then I'm gonna go back to the bar and relax. But I'm gonna spread the word, you know, so ain't nobody else gonna come back and try to rescue you either," Reno said tersely.

Yuffie's stance remained firm, and the grip on her shuriken as tight as ever, but Reno could see a flicker of fear in her eyes. He couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her, but even so, it wasn't his problem.

"Look, if you want some assistance: it's not like we're rescuing you, or doing you a favor. We're just helping you do what you could do on your own anyways," Reno explained.

Yuffie looked around at the fire pits, as if she was pondering whether or not she could bear to stay here overnight. Finally, she relaxed her grip. "Fine, if you boys want to spend some time with me that badly, I guess I can't refuse. It is Christmas after all."

Reno nodded and led her back to the chopper, where Rude was singly loudly (as if trying to out-shout the blades themselves) a slightly bastardized version of the Twelve Days of Christmas, which involved his true love giving him either expensive weaponry or performing unspeakable sexual acts.

"Yo! Beethoven!" Reno shouted. "Lower the rope, damn it!"

And so the chopper landed back in Wutai, once again knocking over the very agitated band. Yuffie jumped out of the chopper and began to run off. But, with a bit of hesitance, she turned and bowed politely to Rude and Reno, before blushing and turning to run off once again.

Rude and Reno entered the bar, where one of the soldiers was trying to revive Elena. Elena was now awake physically, but she was still drunk.

"Leave her be, she's fine," Reno said.

"Did you save that girl?" The soldier asked.

"Yeah. I guess Santa will stop by my house tonight. Which is a shame, because it's in Midgar and here I am in Wutai," Reno laughed.

"Thank goodness. Well I have to get back to my rounds," the soldier said. "My friend left to cover my shift."

"Good deal, get outta here," Reno replied.

"Merry Christmas!" Rude shouted, now joining Elena on the floor, holding a bottle of bourbon in his hand.

Reno groaned, ordered a bottle of Skotch and whispered. "Bah, Humbug."