Wreck The Halls
(Original Story Concept: The Wrench's Story)
Author's Note: Yeah, that was pretty bad too. They're only gonna get worse.
Author's Note (About the Story This Time): Okay, so I loved the Wrench's Story. It remains one of my favorite stories that I've written to this day, with Limit Break holding the top seat and Score being number 2. (I imagine when my FF7 Novelization is complete, that'll take number 1 and they will be pushed down accordingly). But I digress.
So as a change of pace, I'm going to continue the story of the Wrench where we left off. Having been in the Time Compressed World, it now can sporadically switch between dimensions, which is the basis of this story.
Now you don't have to read the original story to enjoy this (The idea was to have these be related to, without dependent on the original story), but if you are confused, let me explain this much about the original. The Wrench's Story was my description about how the wrench that fell from the top of the communication tower in that one FMV caused almost all the major events of FF8, with a sort of cymbal crash "punch line" ending at the end of chapter 4, which I won't spoil in case you decide to read it.
For those of you that have read it, the wrench has now "blipped" into another dimension and is about to begin its reign of terror once again.
---
Tselinoyarsk, Russia 1964
Virtuous Mission
Snake's grip tightened on his survival knife as he saw the blonde-haired man in the black uniform walk up to him.
"So, this is the famous Boss," the man said half-jokingly, half-menacingly in his soft and high pitched voice.
Snake gestured to the man he had been escorting, Sokolov, to hide, which he did without stopping to think. He had already been in a tight spot being held up by the KGB that surrounded him. But they had apparently forgotten about Snake and were now pointing their weapons at this man.
"You're a GRU soldier. What are you doing here?" One of the guards asked.
"Soldier?" The man asked indignantly. He pulled out a maroon beret and placed it upon his head with a bit of a flourish.
"He's the GRU Commander, Ocelot," said another in horror.
"That's Major Ocelot to you," Ocelot said with another air of indignation.
The KGB moved closer together, still keeping their guns pointed at Ocelot. One of them finally plucked up the courage to say: "Sokolov is ours. Now get out of here."
"An Ocelot never lets his prey escape," Ocelot said coldly. He then shot each of the KGB guards down with his Mauser, hitting one by deflecting a bullet off of a nearby metal girder.
"I can't say it feels good to kill a comrade," said Ocelot, with only the vaguest hint of remorse. "Even if it is for the GRU."
Suddenly, Ocelot let out a massive cougar call that sent three other men wearing ski masks and similar uniforms beside him.
"GRU operatives!" Sokolov bellowed in terror from his hiding spot.
"What's with that stance?" Ocelot mocked. "And that gun?"
The other GRU soldiers laughed when Ocelot sent them an approving nod. Ocelot walked behind Snake and then back around him.
"If you're not the Boss," he said. "Then die."
As he turned to fire the weapon, something completely unexpected happened (well, to him at any rate). Out of nowhere a wrench fell from the sky and hit the barrel of his Mauser as he attempted to eject the bullet by hand. The gun jammed and as Ocelot gasped in horror, more at the sudden appearance of a tool than his gun jamming, Snake took the opportunity to strike.
Bullets went flying everywhere. Snake knocked down Ocelot and then grabbed one of the operatives and used him as a human shield while he shot a tranquilizer dart into another. The third went over to pick up the wrench, in an effort to use it as a weapon (his gun having been knocked out of his hand during the initial firefight. He threw it at Snake, but only managed to hit his comrade in the back of the head, giving Snake to opportunity to sink a dart right between his eyes.
Before passing out, he saw the Wrench suddenly vanish.
---
Yuna was laying against the side of the Al Bhed salvage ship. The Psyches didn't want to hurt her, it seemed, but they had taken her against her will, tied her feet and hands together and forced her to lay on the ground.
What they didn't know was that Yuna had been taught many years ago by Lulu how to escape from ropes. Yuna sometimes wondered how Lulu had learned this skill, but it was extremely easy with Yuna's slender hands. The Al Bhed were quite sloppy, leaving the knots in places where her prying fingers could easily grab hold of them. She undid her wrists first, rubbing them with a hint of satisfaction at her handiwork, and then undid her feet.
She heard Lulu, Kimarhi and Tidus fighting the massive machina on deck. If only there was some way that she could help. The Al Bhed had taken away her staff, and without it her magic was not nearly potent enough and she lacked the ability to summon. She had to get it back, but she would need to find a weapon.
And then she noticed it. Lying on the ground, where the ropes binding her had been, was a wrench. It appeared seemingly out of nowhere on top of the ropes she just took off. That was weird, no doubt, but she didn't have time to question it at the moment. She picked up the wrench, and as one of the Al Bhed guards came down the hallway to check on her, she smashed him on the back of the head.
Just then the door opened, and Tidus and the others saw the bludgeoned figure of the guard fall to the ground.
Yuna quickly dropped the wrench, out of embarrassment.
"I hope you hurt them," Lulu said, smiling.
"A little," Yuna replied, wiping a bit of the guards blood off on her dress.
None of them noticed the wrench disappear from sight.
---
"This facility is now under the control of the U-TIC Organization!" said the armored man. "You do not need the die needlessly. Stand down and we promise no harm will come to you."
The scientists put their hands on their heads. What they had been fearing since day one was happening. The terrorist group was going to try and take their new prototype weapon, the android KOS-MOS for themselves.
Shion Uzuki did not know who these men were, but she would not let them harm KOS-MOS. She tried to resist, but two soldiers pinned her down as the man who spoke approached the cradle where KOS-MOS now lay.
"She's not ready yet!" Shion shouted, but it was no good, he was preparing to open it.
The cradle was now open and KOS-MOS stepped out. She looked terrifying, and yet manageable.
Suddenly, there was a massive clanging sound, and KOS-MOS went berserk. She tore around the room, unable to discern friend from foe. Before Shion was knocked out, she saw a small wrench lying in the cradle.
---
The wrench was moving faster than ever now, torn between worlds. At one point, it was part of a Katamari, at another, it flew from a Vendeeni cannon, knocking Fayt's escape pod off course. It broke the valve on the Mako Reactor in Nibelheim, and somehow diverted what would have been the winning kick in the ACC Championship match between the JMU Dukes and the UBA Blazers.
"What the hell is that?" Shouted Lee Corso.
"I don't know, but I think it's some kind of wrench," replied Brad Nessler.
It finally landed on a backwater planet, where a young man named Ratchet was trapped.
"Hey," Ratchet said. "With some work, this would be a great Omni-Wrench!"
And finally, the wrench found a partner who was just as destructive as he was. It was finally at peace. Too bad it wasn't Christmas when Ratchet found this, because then it would have been an awesome story, but instead I just sort of dragged you on for four pages for a really bad punch-line.