You are a Monster!

In just five days of their traveling the wind had picked up and was cold. During the night snow had fallen until all of the tents were covered with so much snow so that they couldn't get out so Nakada asked the earth to make a tunnel for everyone to live in. The earth made many and the other members of the gang lit them up. There were hot springs and gardens in some caverns. There was a huge cavern where everyone kept there tents and slept at night.

On the night that they moved into the tunnels Nakada placed Dianna and Calan into their cribs. She made sure the twins were asleep as she looked down at them. She smiled at the little babies, "Don't worry, my little one," she said to the twins, "I will make sure that Yoko will know you are his own children…even if it kills me, because I know he hurts thinking you aren't his kids. I should have told him earlier but, he was just too busy and worn out." Nakada sighed and looked at Jennah and Kuronue, whom she asked to look after the little babies.

"We'll take good care of them if they wake up," Jennah said as she smiled at her friend with Kuronue's arms around her.

Nakada smiled and sighed, "Better now than ever," she said as she walked out of her tent and into Yoko's.

With Yoko

Yoko was lying down on his bed of furs, wide-awake, thinking about the twins and Nakada. He sighed as he turned to lie on his side. I can understand why I can't stop thinking about Nakada, but why can't I stop thinking about the twins? Every time I see Nakada she seems to want to talk to me about something, but I'm just too busy to talk to her. Yoko turned around when he heard the flap of his tent open and close. He smiled when he saw Nakada standing there with a little unsure smile on her lips. He sat up, "Nakada, nice to see you." He stood up and walked over to her and held her close, "I've been so busy that, I haven't had time to talk with you," he backed up and looked at her with a smile on his face, "And you seem to want to talk to me for some reason."

Nakada smiled as she looked at him. It's now or never…why didn't I tell him back at the mansion while we were still alone? "Yoko, I have something to tell you that I should have back at the mansion, please don't get angry with it."

Yoko smiled as he looked at her, "I won't get upset," he promised as he led her to his bed.

Nakada smiled still unsure about herself as they sat down and looked at each other, "It concerns the twins," she instantly saw him stiffen.

"Why do we have to talk about it?" he asked, talking like as if it didn't matter to him as he took his hands away, "I don't want to have anything to do with that topic ever."

"Well you are going to have to," Nakada argued, "You remember when I told you I couldn't give them up? You asked why and I said I couldn't tell you until they were born."

Yoko, who hadn't been looking at her, turned his head to look into her eyes, "Yes, I remember, but what does that have to do with it?"

"Everything!" She said looking at him straight into his eyes, "You see they were the last eggs the beggin had, and when a beggin gives away her last egg she dies and…"

"Why do I have to listen to this?" Yoko asked a little irritated that he had to listen to what she was talking about.

"You have to listen to it because it is very important," she said looking a little worried. He looked at her and nodded a while later to show he was listening and she sighed. "When the a beggin dies after she has given away her last egg, or killed before the egg has a chance to grow, then she is no longer the mother of the child, it grows into…"

Again Yoko interrupted her, "So what you are saying is that the children in you tent are orphans?"

She looked at him, getting annoyed that he was interrupting her, "Will you let me finish?" he looked at her and then nodded sighing, wondering when she was going to get to the point. Nakada closed her eyes and continued to talk, "The children in my tent are not orphans, when…" she tried to remember what the air said the beggin's name was, "Sara died, the babies' parents were changed, like all the others that are like them. When you and I kissed three times…the twins became ours."

Yoko looked at her for a second and then down at the ground. He suddenly remembered the dream and hated the information even more for some reason. Then he knew, he was beginning to think that Nakada had implanted the dream into his head for this reason, "You…expect me…to believe…that?" he asked slowly with something in his voice that made Nakada tense up instantly. Before she could do anything she was on the ground, with her face hurting from the punch Yoko had just given her. She looked up at him holding her face with one hand, still lying on the floor. Yoko stood up, his bangs were covering his eyes as he looked at her, "Those…things that are in your tent are not my children…and I don't want them to be," his left ear flicked. He lifted his head to show anger in his eyes, "If they were, then they would be a half-breed, between human and demon. Children born that way are disgusting and treated horribly ever since they are born. What you said to me back at the mansion was, 'They are both beautiful babies.' And you think that that dream you gave me, of the shadowed children while they were still inside me, is also going to convince me otherwise, you are wrong!"

Nakada looked up at him and stood up lowering her hand from her cheek, that was now blood red from the hit, "They are both beautiful babies Yoko, and they are yours and mine…"

"Stop saying that!" Yoko almost yelled at her as he hit her down again, "Those children in your tent are not my children, and never will be!" Nakada was on the ground, not moving, as blood seemed to surround her head and soaked into her hair. Yoko's eyes widened when he saw this and instantly remembered his promise to her.

Flashback

"I'm sorry I hurt you the way I did. Please forgive me…I won't ever do it again."

End Flashback

Yoko looked at Nakada and instantly went over to her and picked her up and held her in his arms. He placed her head against his shoulder and moved some hair away from her face to show her bleeding temple. "Not again," Yoko whispered wiping the blood away, only to be replaced with more, "Not again," he repeated.

Nakada made a little sound and opened her eyes, "Y-Yoko."

"I'm here," was all he said before he was shot away from her and onto his bed.

He looked at her and saw that there was anger in her eyes, "Never go anywhere near me or OUR children." With that she disappeared leaving Yoko alone with his thoughts.

There is no way in hell that those children are my son and daughter. Ever since those babies were growing inside me, Nakada has hated me. If I get rid of them and make it look like they disappeared and put the blame on one of the other demons in the group…yes. A smile appeared on Yoko's lips as he began to plan. Then I would have her all to myself!

With Nakada

Nakada laid in her bed, looking at the ceiling of her tent, going over all of what Yoko's group had told her of what he used to do and everything, "He…he lied to me," she whispered tears appearing in her eyes as she laid on her side, "He…did it again…he tricked me into loving him! How could I have been so stupid?" She asked herself as she planted her face into her pillow and tears fell from her eyes. She cried herself to sleep this way and didn't notice a person walking into her room with a cloak on.

Yoko walked over to the cribs with the cloak around him to hide his face from view, due to the hood of the cloak. He looked into the cribs but was sure not to look at the 'disgusting' baby. He picked one up and put it in the basket he had brought. It looked like a one of those baskets you put babies in that has a handle, only this one didn't have a handle, and it was a wicker basket. He went over to the crib and did the same thing with the other baby. As soon as he had both of them in the basket, he took the twins and ran out of the tent into one of the tunnels.

The wind picked up and almost seemed angry for some reason, "Now don't ya go a doin anything ya will regret later there elements." Six figures appeared in the room after the voice was heard. One seemed to be made out of each element, ice, water, air, lightening, snow, and the last, plants.

"If you didn't notice you old gym bag," the male ice element said, "Yoko Kurama is going to kill his own children, we have to stop him before he gets away with the idea."

One of Nakada's hair-clasps unclipped themselves from her hair and turned into the bag she always used, "I have faith in that lad yet ya know."

"That faith," said the female wind, "Is going to get Dianna and Calan killed."

"Now I don't believe that," the bag argued, "I am a sure that that boy in a man's body isn't going to do what he is planning if he sees what his daughter and son look like."

"And how," asked the male lightening, "Are we going to get him to look at his children before he gets the chance drown them?"

"Listen, we just have to get at least one of the babies' crying and he might look at them out of surprise. After a while he might think that what Nakada was saying is the truth, and that dream he had was telling the truth as well."

"You're basing this all on a might," the male water element argued, steam coming from his body.

"I think we should try it," the female plant said with her thumb against her chin and held her elbow with the other, "It will prove to us if he really does have a cold heart. Water," water looked at her, "You can easily tell your water followers to move away from them and get out of their lungs before they die if he doesn't."

"Oh ya are the wisest of the lot Earth," the bag said.

Snow looked at him with no emotion on her face, "If he fails we are going to have to wait our turn to get at you and him after Nakada is done with both of you," her face did an anime drop, "After, before or during she gives us a piece of her mind as well."

Then everyone in the room also did an anime sad face drop while the bag had little sweat drops falling all over it, "Oh yeah," was all he said. He began to think about what Nakada would do when she found out, "Of course," he said with little unsure giggle, "She will get mad at all of us for thinking it even if he does succeed in proving he has a heart, coming to think of it and…she can have quite a temper when she's fuming mad. Scary doesn't even begin to describe it," all the elements shook their heads' and shivered a little at what lay ahead of them even if the plan worked.

With Yoko

Yoko kept on running towards a hot spring far from the cavern where everyone was sleeping. He heard something cry in the basket and he instantly stopped to look at the babies. His eyes widened as he looked at it as his feet unconsciously walked himself to the hot spring. He looked at the baby who was crying and stroked the baby's cheek a little to calm her down, "Nakada wasn't lying," he said as he watched the baby continue to cry. Soon her brother woke up and started crying, both of them hurting his ears like mad. The twins' hands were balled up in front of their faces and eyes tightly closed. "They…they are beautiful babies. Hush there little ones, hush." He said trying to calm the infants down.

The baby girl had pale peach skin and a small amount of brown hair with silver streaks in it. She looked like a very small human baby girl with pointy ears as well. The boy's skin was a little paler then his sisters, and his hair was silver with brown streaks. The twins hiccupped a little as they slowed down their crying and opened their eyes to show tears and to show that the girl's eyes were as golden as her father's eyes and the boy's was the same ice blue as his mother's. Yoko turned into a hot cavern and gasped when he saw their eyes, "You have to be my children," he whispered as he leaned against the wall and sat down. He smiled as he gently wiped the tears away, "You have the same eyes as I do and your mother's as well."

He looked up and saw that he was in the cavern where he planed to kill Calan and Dianna, "That's right," he looked down at her small forms and held the basket close as he reached in and stroked the babies' faces, "I'm not going to do that now…umm" he smiled, "What an idiot I am," he looked down at the children, "I don't even know your names. All because I didn't listen to your mother." Dianna looked up at him and laughed, "Hey," he said as he looked into her eyes, "Your eyes change colour, they're ice blue now." Calan smiled as well at his father, "And yours are golden."

"Aye, that is what happens when they are happy." Yoko stood up and looked at the hallway door, holding the basket close to him, to see…a floating bag, "When they're angry or sad, their eyes change into those two colours. Ice blue for Calan and gold Dianna, and if that don't prove that they're your children…I don't know what will."

"What in the world are you?"

"Well, Ice calls me an old gym bag, and Lighting calls me Baggy" the bag laughed out. "I just have a question for you laddie," Yoko looked at him and nodded, "Would you have believed Nakada that these children are yours if she had told you back at the mansion?"

Yoko looked at his son and daughter with sad eyes, "No I wouldn't ha…wait," he looked up at the bag, "Did you say that, my daughter's name is Dianna and my son's name is Calan?"

The bag chuckled a little and shook, "Yes I did, Nakada went into your head to find out what your mother's and father's name was, just for you."

Yoko smiled and looked down at Dianna, "My parents names," he breathed in a sigh and let it out holding his babies close to him, "I should have believed Nakada."

"To bad you didn't, and now it is too late," the basket that held the twins, disappeared from his arms and he looked up to see Nakada standing there with the baskets in her arms, cradling the babies close.

Yoko looked at Nakada with surprise and then snapped out of it, "Nakada, please, I'm sorry that I didn't believe you…"

"Just shut up," Nakada said still holding the basket close, "I told you, you are too late to change my mind. The worst part was, you came down here to drown our babies. I'll have to speak to the elements and Lucifer over here as well when I get back to the tent." Lucifer sweat dropped like mad and a small gulp could be heard from him.

"Nakada," she looked at Yoko, "Just one more chance, I promise I won't screw up again just…please."

Nakada looked at him with cold eyes, "I am through giving you chances Yoko, I want to give you another chance, but, you hurt me when you said you wouldn't, twice, you disowned your own children, you wanted them dead…"

"That was before I even knew they are mine!" Yoko almost yelled looking at her.

"So what you are saying is…even though I went straight to you to tell you the truth, forgave you for hitting me the first time, all you had to do was try to kill them and you would have known the truth? YOU BASTARD!" With that she kicked him in the face and he landed across the wall into the hot spring with a splash, still conscious but the side of his head was bleeding. "That isn't all Yoko," he looked up and saw that fuming was an understatement on how she was most likely feeling right now. She looked at him and glared, "How dare you," he looked at her confused.

"What are you talking about Nakada?"

"How dare you treat me like you actually care about me when you don't. Like you had done with other women?" She said looking at his even more shocked face, "What? You thought I would near find out? Doran told me everything and I went around asking everyone if it was true. And you know what I had found out Yoko? I found out that you had lied to me while we were at the mansion! You were involved with women before the Beggin, you bedded them and rapped, rapped humans!"

"Nakada, please," he practically begged, "I didn't care about them as I care about you. Aishitteru…"

"You love me?" Nakada interrupted him, "You lied to me! After all I told you about trust and honesty and how I felt about it! You lied to me…how many others were there Yoko that you lied about?"

He stared at her, his heart feeling like it was being ripped to shreds by her accusations and the fact that he felt like he wasn't ever going to be with her or his little girl or boy ever. He looked at the water, "I can't tell you."

"Why?" she said looking at him with angry eyes, "Because you want to lie to me again?"

He instantly got out of the water and gently held her by her shoulders looking into her eyes, "I never wanted to lie to you in the first place Nakada. I thought that if you knew what I had done…you wouldn't have loved me." He looked at the twins in the basket and closed his eyes, "I can't tell you because…there were too many. I took a special kind of plant to make sure that none of them got pregnant but when mating season came…the plant wouldn't work. The first woman I ever took was when I couldn't control the heat the season brought. After that, and I had took the plant, I…would take any demoness that wanted to lose her innocence to me or be in bed with me."

Nakada looked at him more shocked than she had ever been in her life, "What did you do to the human women that you didn't use the plant on?" He looked at her and she knew then, "You…you killed them!"

"Kuronue did actually but yes…they were killed," Nakada moved away from his grasp and clawed him across his cheek like he had done to her once, still holding the basket that carried the twins close to her.

His head was tilted to the side away from her, "I was wrong about you after all Yoko Kurama," he looked at her, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open, "You really are a monster. I can't believe I thought you were anything else…I can't believe I wanted our children to know you or you know them even in the slightest. I don't want them to know anything about you and likewise with you! I hate you."

"Nakada please…" before he could say anything he was in his tent, neither Nakada nor the twins were in sight.

Flashback

"I was wrong about you after all Yoko Kurama. You really are a monster. I can't believe I thought you were anything else…I can't believe I wanted our children to know you or you know them even in the slightest. I don't want them to know anything about you and likewise with you! I hate you."

End Flashback

Yoko's mouth was dry as he kept it slightly open, his eyes open from the mere shock of what she said about him, "I'm…I'm a…monster?" He looked at his hands and turned them to look at the back of his hands, always looking at his claws. His hands were shaky as he continued to look at them, "But all those times she said I wasn't."

Flashback

"You fell in love with that monster?" Falser asked not believing it.

"Yoko isn't a monster," Nakada protested defending Yoko.

End Flashback

Flashback

Nakada looked at the kitsune surprised, "Y-Yoko."

"Nakada, I am so sorry for everything," he said. He gently stroked her face, "Falser is right," she looked at him confused, "I really am a monster. I…" but she covered his mouth with her finger.

"Shhhh," she said stroking his face a little, "I told Falser that I knew you weren't a monster and do I really have to tell you?" she smiled a little playfully.

End Flashback

Yoko closed his mouth and swallowed as he laid down on his bed of furs with his hand under some furs under his head. The words, 'I'm a monster', ringing through his head. All that hour Yoko continued to lay down on the furs like that and stared out into space just thinking random thoughts. But those thoughts turned into the screams of the people he had killed, rapped and tortured. His eyes were unwavering as if he was calm, his body didn't even make a move. But in his mind it was total chaos.

Kuronue walked into the tent carrying some food for him and saw Yoko like this. He set the food on the ground and went over to him, "Hey Yoko," he sat on the bed of furs and shook his partner's shoulder, "Are you okay?" He sat him up and looked into his eyes but saw that there was a dazed look in his eyes. He shook him some more, "Come on Yoko wake up!" The fox didn't say anything as he kept that blank look. Kuronue looked at him shocked and ran out of the tent and got the team together as quickly as he could.

In Yoko's mind

Yoko was in a dark room standing still as he heard voices of pain and fear cry out at him. His head turned in all directions, his ears moving all over the place trying to find out where the noise was coming from. He heard a noise behind him and turned around to see a little fox demon child. He looked like a child sized Yoko and just stared at him, "Who are you?" he asked looking at him.

"I'm you, Yoko," the kit spoke out.

Yoko turned around when he heard a man yell out in pain and then looked at the boy, "You can't be me…you are just a kid."

"I am you Yoko," the boy insisted coldly and calmly just like Yoko. The boy moved a little and looked around as more screams emitted from the darkness, "When our parents were taken you stopped being me, and you turned into this," a mirror appeared in front of Yoko and he saw nothing.

"What am I supposed to see?" the fox asked irritated.

"Just wait," the mirror smoked a little and then showed an image and Yoko gasped backing away from the mirror.

The mirror's image was of Yoko, only his hair was black, his eyes were blood red and showed a shine of craziness and madness. Blood dripped down from the corner of his eyes and his mouth, which was in an evil smirk. Blood dripped down his arms as well… all of it looked like fresh blood. His skin was deathly pale and showed his bones. His claws were also covered in fresh blood and look jagged and long instead of at a neat point. His clothes were also dripping, stained with blood; there wasn't a shred of white left on them.

The real Yoko had one leg behind the other and one hand behind him and the other over his chest but not touching it. His wide eyes held horror as he looked at the image that starred right back at him. "This can't be me," he whispered still looking at the image.

"This is you Yoko…this is your inside appearance. This is what you look like in you heart, in your soul. This is what Nakada sometimes sees and hears when you are angry." The kit Yoko said looking at the image as he stood beside Yoko.

Yoko looked at his younger self, "But what about you?"

The kit looked at him, "I am what you were before you went into a life of crime." Suddenly the mirror disappeared and so did the darkness. The room seemed to spin as Yoko looked at the burning villages, his bedroom with another self of him in bed rapping a human girl. He watched another image of himself kill a family and even a baby that was no older then his own children.

Yoko closed his eyes and held his hands to his head covering his ears and gave a out a mighty loud cry of pain himself that joined in with the thousands others. He looked at the child and yelled at him over the noise of the other people, "I ONLY DID THAT TO SURVIVE! IF I HADN'T, I WOULD HAVE DIED A LONG TIME AGO! I WAS ALSO HURT MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE JUST LIKE THESE PEOPLE!"

"THEN WHY DID YOU HURT THEM JUST LIKE YOU HAD BEEN HURT?" His child self yelled back and suddenly the scene disappeared and another appeared with all of the people and children he had killed, looking at him. All disfigured or some of their body parts gone, "WHY IS IT THAT YOU HAD TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE SUFFER THE WAY YOU DID? YOU ARE A MONSTER YOKO! I GREW UP TO BCOME A MONSTER THAT WONT EVEN TAKE PART IN MY OWN CHILDREN'S LIFE JUST BECAUSE THEY LIVED INSIDE ME!"

With that all of the humans and demons he had killed went after him. And since they had circled him, he couldn't get out. They attacked him furiously wanting to kill him like he had killed them and made him go through scenes that he had never wanted to go through again. In the end he was laying on the floor, blood coming from his numerous wounds, barely even breathing.

The little Yoko went over to him and kneeled down to him, just looking into his eyes. Yoko's eyes were blank and glazed but he was still alive as he laid on his stomach. His face turned laying on its side, his left hand was hanging uselessly at his side the back of it against the ground his palm facing up while the other hand lay in front of his face. The little Yoko looked at him in disgust as he took a dagger and two people turned Yoko so he was on his back. His arms were at his side as he watched the dagger rise over his heart. His mouth was open a little and he closed it as he swallowed, his Adam's apple going up and down in process.

He took a deep breath and then looked at the ceiling and closed his eyes whispering, "I am a monster…but I am a monster that fell in love with Nakada…and I do want to take part in my children life, no matter what anyone else says." Everyone looked at him, surprised. Even the little Yoko looked at him surprised, "And that is not a lie." For the first time in such a long time, a single salt watered tear slid down the side of his left eye and everyone starred at it. He opened his eyes and starred at the nothingness, "I just wish I could see them both right now…even if Nakada would look at me with nothing but anger and hatred and the twins wouldn't want to be anywhere near me."

The little Yoko just sat there for a second then looked at the dagger and went to plunge it into Yoko's heart. Yoko started at it, his mouth open as he breathed a little, then closed it along with his eyes. For a long time there was nothing, just silence and he wondered when they would just finally end it. He heard someone kneel next to him and pick him up and lean his head on their shoulder. He felt that person stroke his hair away from his face and he also felt his wounds start to heal.

He couldn't take it anymore, he opened his eyes to see Nakada looking at him as she used her energy to heal him. She wiped his bangs away from his face than caressed it a little but there was no smile on her face. That didn't stop him from smiling in return, "Thank you Nakada." Then the smile disappeared and his eyes looked far away, "I'm sorry."

She looked at him with coldness in her eyes, "It doesn't matter if you're sorry or not. The damage is done and there is no going back."

"No," he said and she looked at him, "There isn't any going back, but there is a going forward." He smiled a little despite the pain he was going through, no matter how gentle Nakada was in healing him.

"I don't know why you're smiling like that Yoko," Nakada said while still healing him.

"I don't know why either," he said, his voice a little rough due to his dry throat.

Yoko's ear flicked and she looked at it, "I should have seen it earlier." He looked at her confused, "Your left ear flicks when you lie to me."

He sighed, "I guess I can't hide anything from you then."

"This isn't a laughing matter Yoko," she said a bit angry, "I have seen that ear flicker many times, and it shows that you have rarely told me the truth." Yoko saw that there were tears appearing in her eyes and he sat up, seeing as his wounds were all healed. He held her close and she resisted, "No Yoko, not again, please don't trick me again."

"Nakada, I'm…" but before he could finish she disappeared. He stared at the empty space in his arms where she used to be, "I'm not trying to trick you, and I'm trying to get you to love me as much as I love you but…I always screw up some how."