How Tantalus Stole Christmas
(Original Story Concept: Score)
Author's Note: Score is my second favorite story, and yet not many people read it. It was the pinnacle of dark story-telling, something I enjoy indulging in every once in a while. I was going to do an equally dark holiday tale involving the crew of Tantalus, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. So instead, I whipped up this cheesy, Grinch knock-off. Enjoy.
Also, I have chosen to the use the British name for Santa Claus (Father Christmas) in this story, to mix things up a bit.
---
Bagu was looking over Ruby's new plan for yet another heist that would go down in history. Esto Gaza, the sacred city of ice on the Lost Continent, was having a massive Christmas celebration. All the temple maidens and priests would be in the main ballroom of the massive frozen chapel, which would leave the treasure room completely unguarded.
Ruby had estimated the value of the artifacts excavated from within Mt. Gulug and the Shimmering Isle to be worth at least 150,000 gil. She felt somewhat guilty about striking on Christmas, but business had been slow for Tantalus, and even though they were chivalrous thieves who never harmed anyone if they could avoid it, they were still thieves.
"This plan is perfect!" Bagu said stroking his beard. "We'll have Marcus and Cinna run a diversion and have Blank and Zidane make the actual heist."
"I'll be on the dance floor, distracting the guard captain," Ruby smiled.
"And what about you, boss?" Cinna asked.
Bagu had not thought about that. While he rarely went on missions in his old age, he had insisted on going on this one. A heist this grand, he reasoned, deserved the full attention of Tantalus, himself included. But a large man like him would be easily noticed.
"I've got that figured out too. They're going to have a man dressed as Father Christmas arrive by sleigh. I just found out where the staging area is, so we can go hijack the sleigh and have Bagu get in the costume," Ruby explained.
"Devious, as usual," Marcus nodded approvingly. "Reminds me of when we were just kids."
Bagu chuckled. "Ha ha. Yes. Of course the suit fit a bit easier back then."
"That's another thing. We'll need to make you a suit of your own. You can't steal the poor man's costume, he'll freeze to death," Zidane noted.
"Luckily our dear Ruby happens to be a master tailor," Blank said, patting Ruby affectionately on the shoulder.
"Alright then," said Bagu. "Let's board the Prima Vista. Time to head to Esto Gaza!"
---
The marble temple of Esto Gaza was aglow with lights. Two massive Christmas trees were set up on either side of the temple door. Cinna, Marcus and Ruby walked up the stairs in their finest attire. Cinna and Marcus each wore navy blue doublets, Cinna sporting a green beret. Ruby wore a lovely golden gown with a white fur jacket over it. She wore elegant golden earrings, which she had stolen on another gig. Their role was simple. Be on site and run interference in case anybody wanted to head back in the vault. Cinna and Marcus were scheduled to get into a fight shortly after Bagu's arrival, which would create a suitable distraction, allowing Zidane and Blank to sneak into the chambers below.
There was a full orchestra, playing a medley of Christmas songs, such as Away in a Manger and Hark! The Herald Angels Sing. The ballroom was decorated in white and gold decorations, which made Cinna and Marcus feel somewhat unnerved.. Everyone else was dressed for the occasion, sporting white, gold and silver dresses, robes and doublets, but Cinna and Marcus stood out in their dark blue. Then again, their job was diversionary, so this was probably a good thing.
Meanwhile, up at the staging area, almost a quarter mile uphill from Esto Gaza, Bagu, Zidane and Blank had already started their job. Zidane had distracted the would-be Father Christmas by throwing snowballs at him. The man turned in anger to chase him down the hill, where Blank and Bagu were waiting, holding up their knives. Blank locked the man in a large chest, that had once been filled with the decorations for the sleigh, and set the lock on a timer: 1 hour.
"Don't worry, mate," said Blank. "You'll be out in time for egg nog."
Bagu took hold of the reins and Zidane and Blank hid in the bag of presents. Ruby mentioned that the signal for them to make their move would be the lighting of the massive Christmas tree in the back of the temple. The sleigh had no reindeer, but was pulled by four white horses. There was a path leading downhill that had been cleaned, to make it easier for the horses.
"Well boys," Bagu said. "I guess we're on the naughty list this year."
---
"Friends and family, both local and from far off kingdoms, I welcome you to the 23rd annual Yuletide Ball. And now, our mages are in place to light the star at the top of the Christmas tree!" Boomed the voice of the High Priest.
Five mages raised their staffs and wands and five brilliant jets of white, red and green light hit the star on top of the massive tree. It began to glow a bright gold, which lit up the outdoor patio as though it were noon. It also heated the area, and seemed to hold the biting wind at bay. There was a collective sigh of relief at the refreshing warmth.
Bagu took his cue and began to gallop down the mountain, with Blank and Zidane wishing with each stride that they had chosen a more comfortable place to hide.
"And here he comes now!" cried the High Priest. "The man of the hour! Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Father Christmas!"
The crowd broke into applause as Bagu reached the bottom of the hill and brought the horses to a stop.
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Bellowed Bagu. "Merry Christmas!"
The metaphorical cogs of the plan now clicking in unison, Cinna and Marcus broke into fisticuffs, drawing the crowds, and guards, attention. Zidane and Blank checked to make sure the coast was clear and crept silently into the back door, leading into the ballroom.
---
The antechamber where the treasures were kept was now only guarded by one, very sleepy looking soldier. Blank hit him on the back of the head with the hilt of his dagger, knocking him out cold. They opened the door where the treasure was supposed to be hidden, and there they ran into the first snag of the mission.
The treasure wasn't there.
---
Another snag came shortly after. Ruby's information gathering had failed to reveal that Father Christmas was supposed to give a speech. On the plus side, the fight diverted attention for a bit while the High Priest spoke to Bagu.
"You're not Daniel." The High Priest said.
"Sorry about that," Bagu said. "He's got a touch of the flu and asked me to fill in for him."
"Well… he's supposed to give a speech. Did he give his notes to you?" The High priest asked.
"That he didn't. But I can improvise if you like," Bagu said.
He wasn't lying. Being a thief for many years gave Bagu excellent improvisational skills.
"I suppose you had better," the High Priest now turned his attention to Cinna and Marcus. "Come on now, gentlemen. There is no need to fight! Please, this is Christmas!"
Marcus and Cinna, with equal looks of rage, hesitantly stepped away from each other and apologized to the guards who had tried to break them up. The guard captain walked over to the High Priest.
"Shall we take them to the dungeons, sir?" He asked.
"There will be no need for that," The High Priest replied, bowing slightly in recognition of his work. He then turned to the crowd. "And now, Father Christmas would like to say a few… er… brief words about the holidays."
Bagu approached the podium and prepared to deliver his speech.
---
"This is the right room, isn't it?" Blank asked.
"I don't think Ruby could have messed up this badly. Were they expecting somebody to make a grab at it?" Zidane suggested.
"These religious types may be a bit on the loopy side, but they aren't fools. Maybe they moved the artifacts to another room. Or perhaps this is an illusion," Blank began to feel at the walls, looking for a hidden switch or indication of a magical barrier.
"Why would they have a guard be posted at an empty room? Those sound more like our diversionary tactics than those of lawmen," Zidane commented. And then an awful thought crossed his mind. "Back to the ballroom!"
---
"Good evening, my young friends," said Bagu. "As we all know, I have been doing this gift giving thing for quite some time now. And every year it fills me with more joy than before."
There was mild applause.
"Is it because I gain something from this charity?" Bagu asked. "Yes, and no. I do not receive anything tangible, but I am blessed by the joy of doing charitable work. For, though it is something of an old chesnut, it is far better to give than to receive. Let the holiday spirit remind us all that this is a time not about getting presents, but giving them. And sometimes a present isn't just a toy or tool. The most meaningful gifts of all can be sharing your meal with a neighbor, helping your friend with his burden, or simply performing those random acts of kindness that make us better people."
The crowd again broke into applause, and Bagu could swear that Ruby had tears in her eyes.
"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for," Bagu pointed at the High Priest. "Come here, my good fellow."
The High Priest walked over to Bagu and whispered. "Your's was better than Daniels. Very good."
"Thank you," Bagu whispered back. He then clicked his voice back into a more audible range. "I've got a very special present for you!"
Bagu hiked over to his sleigh and pulled out of the bag a dark red package with a label reading "Give to the High Priest first, then dispense other presents at random."
The High Priest opened the present with a wide smile on his face. However, before he finished opening the box, there was a loud shout from within the ballroom.
---
Zidane and Marcus reached the ballroom in time to see three men in dark black cloaks emerging from various adjacent rooms. They carried large sacks, no doubt filled with the artifacts.
"I knew it! Another thief group!" Zidane cursed.
"Where's Curtis?" One of the men shouted.
"Sorry, he won't be joining you. Had to knock him out," Blank shouted back.
"No matter," said another. "He was just the inside man. More loot for us."
"Kill these two and then we make our leave," said the third, who was clearly the leader.
The guards tried to get back into the ballroom, but they had securely barricaded the doors. Zidane and Marcus drew their weapons. The first thief lunged at Blank, who spun out of the way and slashed him across the back. The man cursed in pain as he tripped over Zidane's outstretched leg and went tumbling down the stairs to the antechamber.
The second lifted a claymore, but swung it wildly, missing Zidane by an arms length, leaving Zidane free to grab him around the neck and slam his head against a nearby pillar, knocking him out cold. The third prepared his attack, but the doors to the ballroom burst open with the help of the mages who had lit the star earlier. The man disappeared in a puff of black smoke, leaving Zidane and Blank to deal with the massive group of guards that now surrounded them.
"Lay down your arms at once!" The guard captain shouted.
Zidane and Blank complied, not knowing what else to do.
"Enough of that, you fool!" said one of the guests. "Can't you see these blokes stopped the others from robbing us blind! Why they're heroes!"
"Leave them be!" Cried another woman. "They're on our side!"
And the crowd burst into shouts defending Zidane and Blank. The High Priest walked up to the two men and shouted for silence. The crowd died down and the High Priest spoke.
"I recognize these men," said the High Priest. "As I now recognize our Father Christmas. They are members of the actor troupe Tantalus. More importantly, they are an organization of thieves."
The crowd hissed, but the High Priest waved them down once again.
"Please. I can easily surmise what happened. These men in dark garments, and these boys of Tantalus were likely after the same objective. The two clashed here, and Tantalus was the victor. Now, these men are clearly not heroes," said the High Priest. "But the men in dark garments would have destroyed our beloved temple in the process, had these men not stopped them. For that, I believe they are to be commended."
The crowd murmured suspiciously, and once more the High Priest stopped them.
"I cannot let these men take the precious artifacts for which they have traveled countless miles to claim. But as to the gold in our coffers, we have no need for it. I will surrender it to these men under one condition."
Bagu approached the High Priest.
"And what condition is that?" He asked, trying to sound like a businessman.
"If you can honestly tell me that those touching words you spoke tonight were meaningless," said the High Priest.
There was a sudden silence. Bagu backed up and walked over to the sleigh. The guards began to follow him, but the High Priest stopped them. Bagu stood on top of the sleigh and grabbed the bag of presents.
"Merry Christmas everybody!" He shouted, tossing the presents onto the people.
"You see," said the High Priest. "I knew that deep in your heart, you knew the right thing to do."
"What?" Bagu asked. "No, I'm just clearing a space for the other bag."
And with that, Zidane and Blank grabbed the black bag filled with gold and leapt onto the sleigh. Ruby, Cinna and Marcus followed suit and Bagu cracked the reins. The good folks could hear him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"