Chapter 2 – Echoes, silence and pain

Adjusting to life without Lucas Scott was going to be harder than she originally thought. She had woken up extremely early after tossing and turning for most of the night. Everything felt different now, the bed seemed bigger and colder, it no longer provided her with the warmth and comfort it used to and she knew it was because his side was empty. The house overall seemed huge, it was quite a big house anyway but she never realised how big until now. It was so much quieter; she could literally hear the echoes of her own voice, as well as her footsteps, sounds she never used to notice until now. The house no longer felt homely, it didn't feel like the house where she had first moved in with Lucas, where they brought their daughter home for the first time and watched her grow, it felt hollow. Loneliness overwhelmed her now, a feeling she had been feeling for the last four months but somehow since she asked Lucas to leave it had gotten worse, something she didn't think was possible but she had been proven wrong. It wasn't that she was actually alone, she had her daughter, she had her best friend and brother in law but even when surrounded by all those people she still felt alone inside.

She was dreading telling their daughter that her father wasn't living with them anymore. She knew how close Anna was to her father, how much she adored and loved him but she also knew the pain her daughter had been feeling these past months and she wanted to put a stop to that. She didn't want Anna to end up resenting her father when she was older.

"Hi mommy" Anna said as she skipped into the kitchen happily.

"Hi sweetie, did you sleep well?" she asked leaving her previous thoughts behind and focusing solely on her daughter.

"Yeah" she sighed and Peyton instantly picked up on the sadness in her voice.

"What's wrong Anna?"

"I didn't get to see daddy on my birthday, its what I wished for and it didn't come true"

"I'm sorry sweetie, but you know this is a really hard time for daddy" Peyton said not wanting Anna to think less of him even if he did deserve it.

"I know" she sighed again.

"Daddy loves you, you know that right?" she asked her daughter crouching down to her level and placing her hands on the little girl's shoulders.

"I know you love me and uncle Nathan and aunt Brooke" she replied sadly and Peyton's heart broke right there. Her daughter didn't think her father loved her; she never wanted her to feel that way. She pulled her into her arms and hugged her tightly wanting her to feel how much she was loved. When they broke apart, she ran her hand through Anna's blonde curls and smiled.

"We need to talk about your daddy" she said bracing herself for what she was about to do.

"Okay" Anna replied innocently only making this harder for Peyton.

"Daddy isn't going to be living with us anymore" she said as gently as she possibly could even though she knew it would hurt their daughter regardless.

"Why?" Anna replied on the verge of tears.

"You know we've all been sad these past months?"

"Yes" Anna replied thinking back over the tragic events.

"Well daddy still hasn't accepted it, he's still really sad and that's why he hasn't been around as much as he should have"

"But you're sad and you're still here" she tried to reason.

"I know honey, but I've learned to live with the pain and your daddy hasn't"

"But shouldn't we help him?" she asked sweetly.

"I tried sweetie but we need some time apart, we need to give your daddy some space to come to terms with everything so that when he comes home he will be the daddy you know and love"

"But I miss him" she said tears slipping down her face. Peyton went to wipe them away but Anna backed away from her and then ran up to her room. She was like her mother in that respect, she didn't like people to see her cry, and she didn't like people feeling sorry for her. Even though she was only five years old she was extremely independent and preferred to deal with problems by herself, definitely a characteristic inherited by both her parents.

Peyton felt her own tears slip down her face; it was breaking her inside that she had lost her husband and now her daughter was broken hearted too, only causing her more excruciating pain. She couldn't take much more of this constant aching and sorrow, it was unbearable and unnatural. She wished she could have done something differently four months ago maybe then none of this mess would have happened, maybe then they would still be the perfect family that everyone idolised and aspired to be like but no matter how much she wanted to she knew it was impossible to go back in time.

She gave her daughter ten minutes to herself, knowing that she needed and wanted a little time to think things over and then she went up the stairs. She knocked softly on the door before entering. The sight only tore at her already broken heart some more. She was curled up in a ball silently crying, she looked so small, so fragile and vulnerable; no child of her age should feel like that. She sat herself on the side of the bed and wiped the tears off her daughter's cheek.

"Leave me alone" she said as she buried her face in her pillow.

"Sweetie"

"No you made daddy leave" she said only making Peyton feel worse than she already did.

"Anna look at me"

The little girl reluctantly lifted her head from the pillow and turned to face her mother. "I love you and right now daddy can't live with us"

"But why?"

"You know why sweetheart"

"But he's my dad, he should be here" she objected.

"I know and you'll still get to see him, he will take care of you and spend time with you on set days of the week"

"So I'll still get to see him?" she asked still needing some reassurance.

"Of course you will princess, I would never take your father away from you and he loves you remember that"

She nodded her head and then flung her arms around Peyton's neck tightly. Peyton responded to the emblem of affection and wrapped her arms around the little girl, placing small kisses to her head. "I love you baby girl"

"I love you too mommy"

"Now get dressed so I can drop you off at Nathan's" Peyton said as the embrace broke. Anna nodded before opening her closet and choosing an outfit with the help of her mother.

"Do you need any help?" Peyton asked as Anna started to change out of her pyjamas.

"No I can do it myself" she replied, her independent nature kicking in.

"Okay I'll go start on breakfast"

With breakfast eaten and both girls ready for the day ahead they pulled up outside Nathan and Haley's house. Peyton unfastened Anna from her car seat and then took her hand as they walked up the driveway and knocked on the door.

"Oh Haley hi" she said surprised to see her there. "I thought you'd be at work" she added nervously. The truth was she and Haley had argued about Lucas a lot recently and Haley being Lucas' best friend would always defend him, so they weren't on the best of terms right now.

"I'm just on my way" she replied.

"Well is Nathan here?"

Before she could respond the brunette in question appeared at the door. "Hi Peyton, hi Anna banana" he said happily ruffling her hair. Nathan and Anna had a close bond, he was her favourite uncle, and everyone knew it.

"Hey look I know its short notice but I was wondering whether you could watch Anna? I hate to just spring this on you but the school has a teacher training day and I've got to get to work"

"I'd be happy to" Nathan said taking hold of the little girl's hand.

"Why doesn't Lucas have her?" Haley asked in an impolite tone and Nathan shot her a warning look.

"I'll pick her up soon" Peyton replied ignoring Haley's comment not wanting to get into an argument in front of her daughter. Everyone knew that they had been having problems and she found it rude and insensitive of Haley to bring that up. "Come say bye to mommy" Peyton said crouching down and opening her arms wide for Anna. They shared a quick embrace and kiss before she left with a 'thank you' to Nathan and 'be good' to Anna.

Now at work Peyton was catching up on some important paperwork regarding her latest artist. She had really been slacking in the work department since that tragic accident four months prior. She ran her own record label called 'Red Bedroom Records' and since she had been very successful it didn't harm her financial state but she knew she had to get things moving again, it wasn't fair to her artists who had been nothing but patient and understanding these last few months and it also wasn't fair to herself, she had worked hard to get where she was and she refused to throw it all away.

She picked up the phone and dialled the number, after a few rings she picked up "Hi its Peyton I'm sorting out all the paperwork as we speak and I know I let you use the studio while I was gone so if you could drop off all your material and then we can get started on making your record. I'm also in talks with getting you on tour so we need to get this record put together pretty fast"

"You sure you're ready?"

"Yep I'm back for good, this company won't run itself" she replied and after a little more conversation they hung up.

Meanwhile at Tree Hill High Haley was on her lunch break grading some papers and sipping coffee. Usually she would go to the teacher's lounge but these papers needed grading urgently and she didn't want to be up all night so she decided to make better used of her lunch hour. She was distracted when the door opened and Lucas walked in.

"Hey Lucas" she said with a smile.

"Hi Hales" he replied and she could instantly tell something was wrong.

"You okay?" she asked gesturing for him to take a seat next to her.

"Not really"

"Well what happened?"

"Peyton kicked me out"

"I can't believe her" she replied angrily.

"Don't be mad at her Haley, it was for the best"

"No its not, you should be with your family, especially after everything that's happened. Nathan shouldn't be looking after Anna, she should be with her father"

"Wait Nathan is with Anna? Where's Peyton?"

"Peyton's gone to work and Anna's school has a teacher training day"

"Why didn't she ask me to have her?" he wondered out loud the sadness present in his voice.

"I asked her the same question but she ignored me. Where are you staying anyway?" she asked concerned for her friend's welfare.

"My mom's place"

"She didn't sell up?"

"No she decided to keep it in case she decides to move back" he replied. Karen and Lily had been travelling with Andy and at the moment had decided to settle and live with him rather than return home. However, Karen refused to sell up since she would always regard to Tree Hill as her home and there were too many precious memories in that house. It was a place she would always cherish and love and would be the place she would always return to for special occasions.

After a few moments of silence Lucas stood up "I'll see you later Hales there's something I have to do"

Meanwhile at the studio Peyton and her artist, named Melissa had just finished listening to the first draft of what would hopefully be her debut album.

"That sounds perfect" Peyton said as she listened over her artists latest tracks.

"You think?"

"Of course…this is going to be a fantastic album" she replied showing her artist some support and encouragement. She felt bad for not being more of help to her artists. She didn't want to hold them back from their dreams; she was the person who was meant to further their career and make their dreams come true; yet lately she had been everything but. "I'll get it into production ASAP, looks like that tour is in reach after all"

"Thank you so much" she replied excitedly.

"Don't thank me, this is my job but you're the one with the talent I'm just helping you get it out to the rest of the world"

They said their goodbyes and then Peyton went back to the all important paperwork she still had to do.

"Why does Nathan have Anna when you know I would be more than willing to look after her" Lucas said as he barged into her office.

"Lucas what are you doing here?" she asked exasperated. It was really hard being around him after everything that had happened. She never wanted to kick him out of the house but he left her no choice and she couldn't handle spending time with him when it only broke her heart more and more.

"Just answer the question Peyton!" he said the anger present in his voice.

"Fine!" she replied in the same tone "I wasn't sure whether you would want to have her. You haven't been yourself for months and for all I knew you were in bed nursing another hangover, sorry if I don't want to leave my daughter in the hands of an alcoholic"

"I'm not an alcoholic and she is my daughter too! Stop talking about her as if I am not her father, I may not have been around for a while but I still love her"

"Well she doesn't think so. I'm the one who had to comfort her AGAIN this morning because she feels like her own father doesn't love her! She was so upset because her wish of seeing you on her birthday didn't come true. How screwed up is that?"

"Well you're the one who kicked me out! You're the one who isn't letting me see her!" he replied full of rage.

"I kicked you out for good reason I can't have Anna in an unstable environment any longer its not good for her. I have never stopped you from seeing her I told you we will arrange set times so that Anna has a routine and we will, just let me know when is convenient for you, I wouldn't want her to get in the way of your trips to the bars"

Instead of replying he stormed off, that last comment cutting him deeper than he thought it would. Deep down he knew he had been a terrible father to Anna, he knew he had put alcohol before his family but hearing it from his wife's mouth only made it all the more real. He wanted to make things right, he wanted to go back to being the perfect husband and father he used to be but he didn't know how. He was still so consumed with pain and anger from what had happened to them that he didn't know how to move forward.

Peyton watched him leave and then sighed sinking back down into her chair, she never wanted this to happen to them but it had and there was nothing she could do about it. She hated arguing with Lucas but it had become a regular thing ever since that terrible day so as sad as it sounds she had gotten used to it. They used to be the perfect couple, so in love, always affectionate, always there for one another, they never yelled at one another like they did now but that day changed everything, none of it for the better.

AN: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews so far I hope you liked the update :)

Feel free to guess what happened, I'd love to read everyone's speculations and don't worry it will be revealed soon!!