AN: Sorry for the wait, I'm not going to make an excuse since I don't really have one but I hope you enjoy the update :)

Chapter 3 – One step forward, two steps back

Overwhelmed. That is what Peyton felt now, but it wasn't the excited and happy overwhelming feeling that you often get when you are pleasantly surprised; no instead it was the complete opposite. It was the type of overwhelming feeling that makes you feel like you can't breathe, like everything is just too much for one person to handle. That is how Peyton felt. She had so many responsibilities and so little time, she felt like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders but somehow she coped, just like she always did. She had no other option but to continue on with the daily tasks of her life.

She wasn't one to complain. She knew she had things to be grateful for, she had been successful, she had a roof over her head, she had a beautiful daughter, amazing friends but sometimes she just felt like she had to do everything herself. She had been feeling this way since Lucas closed himself off. Before the incident they both shared all the responsibilities equally and Lucas being an author would often work from home so whenever Anna needed taking care of he was there, not to mention he would always keep on top of the housework for her so that when she came home she could relax, and when he was in an extremely good mood he would even have dinner ready on the table. But now in the present time everything was different, she had to do all that and more because she was alone with a five year old and a demanding career. She had contemplated getting a nanny but was still uncertain; she didn't feel comfortable leaving Anna in the care of a stranger and she knew Anna would probably feel the same way. She knew there was a solution to this and it was Lucas, since he had stopped writing after the tragedy he had plenty of free time. She knew Anna would love to spend time with her father who she missed dearly but she wasn't sure whether he was stable enough to handle the responsibility of a five year old. He was a great father, she would never deny that but the past months he didn't show affection or emotion to anyone, so she had every right to be a little sceptical at leaving her with him. However, she knew Lucas wanted to see her badly and she promised she would not take either of them away from each other.

After a few deep breaths she picked up the phone and nervously tapped in the digits to his number. After a few rings he picked up.

"Hello"

"Hi its me…Peyton"

"Hey" he replied surprised to be hearing from her, especially after that fight the other day.

"Look I thought we could arrange some times for you to take care of Anna"

"Yeah I'd really like that…I miss her" he said and she picked up on the genuine tone of his voice.

"She misses you too, she talks about you all the time" she replied with a smile thinking back on the good times, their memories as a family, she would do anything to get that back.

"Peyton I'm sorry about the other day"

"Can we please not talk about it" she said not wanting to go over the painful memories of their non-existent relationship. She didn't need reminding of their arguments, they had had enough that she wouldn't forget any time soon.

He sighed down the phone but instead of causing another argument he changed the subject back to the original purpose of this call. "So when can I have Anna?"

"Well I was thinking you could pick her up three days a week from school and spend a few hours with her until I'm finished at the office and then we can sort out things for the weekends"

"Sounds great"

"Good so how does tomorrow sound?"

"Works for me"

"Okay well I'll tell Anna, she'll be so excited"

"Thank you Peyton"

"For what?" she asked slightly confused.

"For not cutting me out of her life"

"You know I would never do that…she is our daughter after all"

He smiled. It had been a while since she had referred to Anna as their daughter; lately she had only referred to her as her own. This was progress on their part, it wasn't huge but it was something and that something gave Lucas hope that not everything was doomed for him and Peyton. They said their goodbyes and then hung up the phone.

The car pulled up outside the school. She unbuckled Anna from her seat and helped her daughter out of the car and onto the pavement. She crouched down to her level and placed a kiss to her forehead.

"Remember daddy will be picking you up today"

"I know mommy" she replied. It was something she had been excited about all morning.

"Okay now have a good day" Peyton said as she dropped Anna off at her class.

"I'm gonna draw you a picture" she said with a bright smile.

"Aw thanks sweetie" Peyton replied giving her daughter one last hug before she left to go to work.

Peyton walked into her office surprised to find Haley sitting there. The two had barely spoken with one another because every time they tried to have a civil conversation they would somehow end up arguing about Lucas. The blonde sighed as she walked and sat behind her desk, she wasn't in the mood for another argument but something told her this encounter would lead to one no matter how much she tried to avoid it.

"What do you want Haley?" she asked as she flipped through some papers trying to busy herself.

"I heard you kicked Lucas out of the house"

"Then you heard correct" Peyton replied refusing to make eye contact. She had a busy schedule and that did not include having to justify her actions to Haley. It had nothing to do with her; it had nothing to do with anyone other than herself and Lucas. She always kept out of Nathan and Haley's personal problems yet for some reason she refused to do the same.

"Peyton don't you think that's a little harsh? He is going through hell right now"

The blonde snapped her head up at that comment. It angered her more than she thought it would and she knew now that the argument had already begun.

"Harsh? He's going through hell?" the blonde questioned infuriated. Haley didn't respond so she continued "What about me Haley? What about what I went through? What I'm still going through? What about what I had to feel?" she said as a few tears escaped her eyes and fell down her cheeks. She didn't think this would be the start to her day. She was trying to put it all behind her, she was trying to get on with her life but she knew she wasn't over it, she knew she was keeping everything bottled up inside and she knew it wasn't healthy.

"Peyton I"

"No!" the blonde shouted interrupting her. "You have no idea what I've been through because you didn't seem to care, you only cared about Lucas' pain but what about me Haley? I feel like a piece of me is missing but I carry on because I have Anna to think about, you know my daughter, the same little girl who cried her eyes out because her daddy wasn't at her birthday party, the same little girl who asks for her father to tuck her into bed at night but he was never there. You don't know what its been like. You don't know what it feels like when your husband comes home drunk every night……and he blamed me Haley, he blamed everything that happened on me. I already felt guilty, I still feel like it was my fault; but hearing it from the man I loved made it all the more real and…and I can't even begin to describe how that made me feel."

By this time Peyton had broken down on the floor. She couldn't contain the tears; she didn't have the strength to fight them anymore. She felt Haley crouch down beside her and wrap her arms around her. She heard the soft whispers of "I'm sorry" in her ear and she felt the gentle and soothing hands stroking her back and hair. A big part of her wanted to push her away but she just didn't have the strength to do it, she felt worn down and helpless so she held onto her tightly and cried. She cried for all the pain she had been through, for all the pain she was still going through and would forever carry around with her.

It was almost three o'clock as Lucas stood outside of his daughter's classroom nervously pacing up and down. He hadn't had a real conversation with his daughter for a long time and he was nervous to say the least. He didn't know how she was going to react to seeing him again, would she be overjoyed, mad, upset, all of the above? He didn't know and it was torturing him. His thoughts were interrupted when the classroom door opened and the teacher started to let the children out to their parents. He eagerly waited for her to appear. After most of the children had left the room he saw her blonde curls in the crowd of children. She really was a miniature version of Peyton, she had the same unique hair, the delicate facial structure, she was beautiful, the only thing that she seemed to have inherited from him physically were her blue eyes, they were an exact replica of her father's.

"Anna" he called after seeing her look around but since she wasn't the tallest in her class she was struggling to see over the other children's heads.

"Daddy!" she cheered happily as she ran into his arms.

He hugged her back with just as much enthusiasm and then whispered into her ear "I missed you princess"

She pulled away from her father and then spoke seriously "I missed you too, you haven't been a very good daddy lately"

"I know sweetie and I'm sorry…I've just been really sad and I know I should have been there for you and mommy but I promise you everything is going to get better now"

"You promise?"

"I promise"

"I love you daddy" Anna said as they both made their way to the car.

"I love you too sweetheart don't you ever forget that" he replied placing a kiss to her forehead.

They spent the rest of the afternoon at Karen's house. They baked cookies, watched cartoons and Lucas finally started to re-bond with his daughter. She was innocent in all of this and he knew he had been wrong to cut her out. She was young, she didn't understand the pain they were feeling; the only thing she felt was her daddy not being there for her anymore. He vowed to himself that from now on he would be the father she deserved.

"You best get your things together Anna, its time to take you home" Lucas said as he brought her coat into the lounge.

"When are you coming home daddy?"

"I don't know sweetie"

"But I miss you" she pleaded giving him her puppy dog eyes. The very same eyes both Lucas and Peyton could never resist.

"I miss you too"

"Don't you want to come home?" she questioned.

"Of course I do Anna but I wasn't very nice to your mommy and we need some time apart"

"Tell mommy your sorry"

"I think its going to take more than a sorry princess" he replied honestly and the little girl pouted not satisfied with his answer.

The sound of knocking from the front door brought Peyton out of her sleep. She hadn't been sleeping properly for months and after today she felt exhausted, both physically and emotionally. She pulled the blankets off of herself and made her way out of the lounge and to the front door. She opened it up to find Lucas and Anna. She smiled at their daughter who ran straight into her arms waving a piece of paper around.

"What you got there sweetie?" she asked and Anna pulled out of the embrace to show her mother the picture she had done for her.

"Its you, me and daddy, see" she said pointing to each person in her drawing.

A sad smile formed her face. This was what they used to be and yes she loved the picture Anna was extremely talented, but all it did was remind her of how much things had changed. "Its beautiful Anna, why don't you go put it on the fridge"

"Okay" she said cheerily skipping off into the kitchen.

"How was she?" Peyton asked finally acknowledging Lucas who had been stood in the doorway awkwardly.

"Good, she was no trouble at all" Lucas replied with a smile.

"That's great" she said tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, it always was a nervous habit of hers. As soon as she lifted her hand Lucas' eyes widened.

"Where's your ring?" he asked.

"What?" she replied confused.

He walked up to her and grabbed onto her wrist with force. This scared her; he had never been violent with her before. She tried to pull her arm free but his grasp was tight, too tight and he was far too strong for her.

"Let go of me"

"Why aren't you wearing your wedding ring?" he asked even though it came across as more of a demand.

"I…I"

"Answer me!" he shouted infuriated. He was angry but at the same time just extremely hurt. She was his wife and he couldn't understand why she wasn't wearing her ring. He still believed in them, he still loved her with all his heart but to him it seemed like she was giving up and that is what fuelled his anger.

"Stop it" At that they both turned in the direction where the voice came from and saw Anna, their little girl with tears in her eyes. She was frightened and upset. As soon as he saw her face he let go of Peyton's arm. He was meant to be making things better but he knew he had just made things a hell of a lot worse.

AN: Thanks for the reviews so far!! Please let me know what you think :)