The Akatsuki Corner

Episode 3

Scorpions and Panties

The sound of glass shattering echoes through the studio audience. Numerous fans start whispering among themselves as Deidara rushes onstage, dressed in a nurse outfit, eyes jerking around wildly, a sledgehammer in his right hand.

Jaws drop stimulusly as the heavily-breathing blond hides under the stone table, gathering the chairs in front of himself, hammer at the ready.

The stage doors open slowly and a head of red hair pops out, dull crimson eyes staring out at the dumb stuck crowd. Deidara lets out a cry of relief and shoves the chairs out of the way. " Danna!" Sasori steps fully through the door and peers up at his taller partner.

" You're an idiot."

The blond nods, dropping the sledgehammer to his side. " Ah...."

" It's all under control."

Deidara brightens considerably, tossing the hammer away and throwing his arms around the shorter, elder male. " Thank you danna!"

" Deidara-sempaiiiiiii!"

" SHIT!"

The screen narrows in on the large TV screen as Deidara dashes past Sasori to escape a very happy Tobi's grasp. 'My Roots Are Showing' by Crystal Shawada plays as various clips of the Akatsuki flashes over the screen. From Itachi arranging a variety of stuffed sharks on his bed, Kakuzu beating up a calculator, Pein attempting to fold origami with Konan hovering over his shoulder and scowling Sasori with his hands glued together.

It fades back into the stage setting where Itachi, Sasori, Sakura and Deidara(who's still dressed as a nurse) are sitting around the large stone table, glasses of orange juice propped up in front of them. Sakura gives Deidara a funny look, before peering down at herself. " What the hell am I doing here?"

Itachi shrugs, " You must be taking Kisame's place since he's sick." The word 'sick' was coupled with a sadistic glare sent Deidara's way. The blond huffs and turns his head away, crossing his arms over his chest.

Sakura rolls her eyes, picking up a stack of papers and sighing. " Alright, I guess I'll lead this today, since Sasori hardly talks, Deidara could bolt at any minute and Itachi's being a prick." Boy, if looks could kill. " Alright, first question....'Why does Sasori's name mean scorpion?'. "

The red-head drums his fingers on the stone, sighing irritably before answering. " Because Kishimoto said so."

Crickets chirp.

" That's it?" Sakura asks, lifting an eyebrow. " Didn't you're parents ever....tell you the origin of your name?"

" No."

" Ooo-kay. Moving on." Sakura looks back down at the paper, " Oh! Someone wants a contest." She stands up, snaps her fingers and six stagehands scramble on the stage, carrying a large DDR machine. It's set in front of the TV screen, then hooked up.

" You're not getting me on that." Itachi says darkly, sending invisible daggers to the dancing machine.

" Of course not." Sakura shakes her head, patting his head and getting another chilling stare. " Deidara and Tobi are going to do it."

" WHAT?!" The blond jumps up, hammer between both hands and eyes roving over the crowd. " Where is he?"

Sakura blinks, lifting an eyebrow slowly, " Er....are you okay?"

The hammer comes down quickly, breaking the table in half and sending everyone around it onto the floor. Wild gray eyes glare at them, " No. I am not 'alright'! I was drugged, forced into this ridiculous costume, and now I'm being chased around by a psychotic MORON!"

All eyes fall to Sasori, who's still seated in his chair, glass in hand and sipping at his orange juice. His eyes lift to meet the many staring at him. " What? I didn't do it."

" I can't take this anymore!" Deidara cries, swinging the hammer back again and beating at the pile of rocks in front of him. Itachi watches, eyes wide as the hammer barely misses his feet. He jerks back, glaring at the officially insane blond.

The blond stops, panting harshly and staring at his red-haired partner. He lifts a finger shakily, eyes narrowing dangerously, " You said you took care of it!"

The scorpion blinks, peering into his glass before giving his partner an odd look. " I was talking about the mouse that got loose the other night. You told me to kill it for you. I did it."

Silence falls over the studio, no one saying a word as the blond man drops the hammer and stares incredulously at his companions. Sakura leans over to Itachi, " Think he's dead?"

" I think he's a idiot." The Uchiha snorts, standing up and dusting off the rocks from his black robe. " This is so not worth my-"

" I see London, I see France, I see Sempai's underpants!"

It kinda happens in slow motion. The shocked faces of Sasori, Sakura and Itachi as Deidara turns around slowly, to see none other than Tobi's left hand curled on the hem of his white nurses outfit. A dress that was short to begin with, was now lifted over his behind, baring to the world, his red.....lacy underwear, with the picture of a scorpion on it.

It's quiet for about 5 seconds before the audience bursts out laughing as the camera zooms in on the panties, showing the entire crowd(and did we mention half the world?) what lay hidden under his clothes.

Tobi smiles behind his mask, his one lone eye turning into an upside down V as he peers up at his Sempai. " Hi!"

" YOU!"

The orange masked man blinks, before jumping back just as Deidara's fist swings around. " I see you kept your outfit on!" He turns to the audience, dodging the blonde's fists. " Doesn't he look cute?! It took all night, but I did it!"

Sakura giggles, burying her face in her hands and getting an eye roll from Itachi, who had, during the interaction, grabbed another(comfier)chair. Sasori watches in boredom, wondering silently if anyone was going to refill his orange juice any time soon.

A woman in the audience raises her right hand, the left one trying to keep her laughter at bay. " Yes?" Tobi calls out watching from the corner of his eyes as Deidara heads for the hammer. Opps. It might be time to go......

" Where did you get the panties?" The woman asks.

Tobi tilts his head to the side before lifting his arm high, " They were in his dresser!"

" You little WEASEL!"

Chocolate by the Soul Patrol plays in the background as Deidara starts chasing Tobi around the studio, hammer swinging mercilessly while Tobi dodges. Camera stands, small TVs, and chairs start falling down all around them as the two disappear into the mist of dust and debris.

" Huh...guess we'll have to postpone that dance-off." Sakura sighs, tossing the papers at the pile of pebbles. " Can I quite now? I didn't even apply for this stupid job!"

Sasori stares down at the remainder of what used to be their table as Sakura bitches to Itachi, who doesn't seem to care. " I thought Itachi was the weasel."

Producer:

BloodredAngel808

Cast:

Sakura Haruno

Itachi Uchiha

Sasori(Does he have a last name?)

Deidara

Tobi(is a panty snatcher!)

Crew:

The minions of my mind

Topics of Discussion By:

Jaded Expression of Euphoria

XxValentinesxXxBulletxX

Tentenrules4ever

A/N

Things got majorly out of hand today. lol I wanted a DDR dance off....but then I got Valentine's idea for the pantie thing. OMG. I couldn't stop laughing at the things she wanted on here! I've gotten so many and I'm a very happy person. =] I can't wait to use them in future chapters!

More suggestions are welcome, I enjoy your ideas! They make me smile and give me inspiration! So bring em' on peoples!

Blessed Be,

Angel