Transcript from the Jerome Ariza show, WPMZ 107.7

[ARIZA]: …ros before hoes, am I right? Anyway. Here's what talk radio has been melting about today. Now, Sonic the Hedgehog, injured severely in a hit and run accident, guarded condition. The suspect is Knuckles the Echidna, okay? Well, I'm just saying. The mayor is up in arms, the city is up in arms, and definitely, the… well, I can't say it on the radio. The crap hit the fan. And everyone seems to have an opinion about it. Hussein, you're on 107.7 , talk to me.

[CALLER]: Hey, long time listener, first time caller. Anyway, did you hear the government? Talking about prosecuting to the fullest extent?

[ARIZA]: Yeah. Knuckles, most like going to get locked up.

[CALLER]: Well, I just can't help but think that because it's, well, Sonic the Hedgehog, national hero and all… That they're just

Using me as an example."

I say this nervously, picking away invisible insects away from my fur, and scratching itches that aren't even there.

"But did you answer the question?" The prosecutor states again, flatly. "Did you not ram him with your car?"

"But I didn't ram him!" I exclaim. And the prosecutor just looks at me like I'm an idiot or something. I am. "You make it sound like it was premeditated assault or something-"

"Was it?" He says. He being the prosecutor, well dressed tiger and really tall- it's kind of intimidating when someone like that is yelling at you from across the room attempting to shove you in prison for the rest of your life.

"Objection!" My lawyer yells. Because I'm losing the case for him. "This is not a trial of aggravated assault, this is hit and run. Relevance?"

"Sustained," judge says, but the jury heard it loud and clear.

"you make it sound like it was premeditated assault"

I screwed up.

Wake up.

When I panic. I've got the worse pain in my legs. And I can barely move them. Swollen up and my head hurts. My head hurts and my throat burns and I feel dehydrated and I want WATER. Not the shit in the needle in my arm- gotta get that off sometime - I want to drink. I want to feel. I want to have the feeling in my body. To know I'm alive. I want life.

I want to feel something in my mouth.. It's so dry…

Ahah.

Ahaha

Ahhahahahahahahaha. I'm such a dirty boy It feels good, though

Soil the bed. Acrid smell fills my emaciated nose- and this actually feels good, I haven't smelled anything but anti-septic in days..

in days

i think days. what's todya? yoday. Today. oh god man. I need to get some rest, can't stand to burn like ths but OH HEY OH GOD HAHAHAHAAHAAHA

The creases of my legs become warm and moist and sticky with shit. No, really. And urine too- nice to see you, penis! I'm sorry I've been a little lacking.

I laugh Again because I'm fucking so high right now. Kind of sad right now how ways have been. Hop you up with medicine. Look at me, I'm shitting myself, no really, I am. What ever became of subtlety?

Subtlety about what? Ahaha. Oh my god, I'm really just fucking out of it right now.

And I hear footsteps outside. Fuckfucjfuyjcd;

Okay, just pretend you're still asleep and wet/shit the bed in the midst of being hammered out of your mind by the medicine.

Ahaha. Here comes the bedpan. I'm so awesome.

It's like I don't even care that I can't move my legs.

so much for freedom. all because i couldnt hit the brakes in time