Alex was on the phone walking around campus until she sat on the spot she always stays in during lunch. Monica and Alex had been talking for a week now on the phone and Alex's bill was soaring off limits since the model has returned back to Brazil. Alex was in the middle of their conversation when Marissa stood in front of her blocking the view.

"That sounds like fun! So listen…I have to go…something came up." Alex looked at Marissa then signaled for a minute. Marissa just rolled her eyes. "Yeah…that's exactly it. So I'll see you this weekend?" Alex waited for an answer. "Great! Call you again later. Bye." Alex smiled as she listened to Monica. She smiled wider before she put the phone down and placed it securely in her pocket.

"She's your girlfriend now?" Marissa asked annoyed. Alex looked up at Marissa and just smiled. Ever since that dinner, Marissa has been asking about her and Monica a lot…which meant more time away from Chris…which Alex was happiest about. "You have yours, I have mine." Alex said as she patted the space beside her. Marissa took a deep breath and folded. She couldn't stay mad at Alex long enough to hide her jealousy.

"Where's Chris? Haven't seen him in days…" Alex asked honestly. Even though they had their differences, she still had to admit, Marissa was happy with him. Alex held her gaze on Marissa as she waited for an answer. Marissa just shrugged and took a deep breath. "He's with his friends." Marissa answered.

Alex heard the pain in her voice and placed a hand gently on Marissa's knee. "He still treating you well, or do I have to get my tennis racket and beat him with it?" Alex tried to lighten the mood. "It's just…he's not…we're not spending that much time together anymore…" Marissa answered as she took a deep breath again. She then looked at Alex and continued. "…like we, you and I, are not spending that much time together." Alex felt guilty.

"I know…I'm sorry." Alex confessed. "Really? Because you look so happy while you were talking on the phone while here I am feeling alone." Marissa bitterly said. Alex let Marissa throw her anger at her. "You're training a lot…more than you used to…and we normally talk to each other first thing in the morning and then late at night…now every time I see you, your phone is stuck to you ear." Marissa threw her frustrations. Alex just bowed her head and listened to every word.

"Plus…you don't even act like you miss me…" Marissa said softly as she looked away. Alex looked up and saw Marissa had turned her face away from her. "Of course I miss you." Alex replied honestly. Marissa felt a tear fall from her eyes. She turned to face Alex. Alex saw the stain on her cheeks and her heart quickly sank. She cupped Marissa's face and wiped the tear away with her thumb.

"I'm sorry I made you cry." Alex apologized. Marissa laughed softly then held the hand that was cupping her face. She kissed Alex's palm and leaned more into Alex's hand. They smiled sweetly at each other.

"So, you're going to break up with her now?" Marissa asked bluntly. Alex studied Marissa's eyes to see if she was kidding but Marissa wasn't. "Because that's all she was, right? Somebody to make me jealous…" Marissa tried to convince herself. "Well, I'm jealous…" Alex smiled. She felt Marissa was going to admit her feelings for her. "…I want my best friend back. I need my best friend…" Marissa watched as Alex slowly turned the smile upside down.

Alex took back her hand, grabbed her brown paper bag and stood up. Alex turned around and walked away shaking her head. Marissa quickly stood up and walked after Alex. "Was there something I said?" Marissa called out for Alex. Alex quickly turned around and walked towards Marissa. She stopped inches away from Marissa before she spoke. "You don't get it, do you?" Alex started with her eyes glaring. "I LOVE YOU" Alex said every word one by one and with all her heart. "I want you to be with me…" "I do want to be with you" Marissa interrupted. Alex just shook her head and looked down. When she looked up, Marissa saw the one sight she was afraid of seeing. "I can't be JUST your best friend."

Alex let the tear fall from her eyes. Marissa never saw Alex shed a tear over something and Alex knew that. She kept all her pain inside so Marissa would not see her crying…but Alex couldn't keep what's inside her heart anymore. "And if being JUST your best friend is all you want from me…then I can't give you that. I can't stand here and pretend that you're JUST my best friend…'cause you're not! You are the one my heart beats for and every time you tell me I'm just your best friend…I lose hope…and hearing you say that now, I lost hope…if you won't let me love you, then I can't be around you anymore" Alex pleaded one last time for Marissa to make a move. She closed her eyes and waited for Marissa to kiss her

…but the kiss never happened.

Alex opened her eyes then looked to her right side. "Alex…" Marissa tried to explain but Alex had enough. She knew the words Marissa had for her will only hurt her. So she turned around and walked away as swiftly as the tears fell from her eyes. Marissa watched as Alex wiped the tears from her eyes, even if she had her back on her, and she felt the deepest pain in her heart.

"Alex…don't leave me…" Marissa said softly as her voice broke with her heart.

~o~o~o~

"Mom…I need to talk to you." Alex peaked into her mom's room while her mom was reading the latest Vogue. Alex's mom put the magazine down and looked at her daughter. "It sounds serious, honey. Come here…" Alex slowly opened the door and as soon as she stepped in, the tears started to fall.

"Oh honey." Mrs. Kelly quickly stood up and walked to meet her daughter. Alex immediately buried her face on her mom's shoulder and completely broke down. "I love her…" Alex said between sobs. Mrs. Kelly held her daughter tighter. Her heart broke as she felt Alex crush. "I thought she loved me back" "Oh baby…I'm sorry" Mrs. Kelly tried to console her daughter.

Mrs. Kelly held Alex patiently as Alex cried her eyes out. As Alex slowly retreated and wiped her tears, her mom studied her. "I hope this doesn't ruin your friendship with her." Mrs. Kelly wished sincerely…Marissa was like a daughter to her. "I know…" Alex said softly.

~o~o~o~

It was already 10 o'clock in the evening when Marissa arrived home. She took her time to think about what had happen that afternoon. As she approached her house, she slowed down and glanced at Alex's house. The lights were all off. By now, Alex had finished her homework and submitted to sleep already. She's been training nonstop and when there's training, there's a curfew from her coach. 'She's always been the disciplined one' Marissa thought to herself.

She parked her car on their driveway and walked to their door. After the somewhat long trip to her bedroom, she looked at her balcony and noticed that the door was open; the wind picking up the curtains as it blew; the moonlight illuminating a part of her room. She placed her keys on the side table of her bed and proceeded to the balcony door. As she was approaching it, the wind blew the curtains again and Marissa saw Alex lying on the ledge of Alex's balcony. Alex had her attention on the stars whining down on her.

"Alex, you're gonna fall" Marissa rushed and walked to her balcony. Alex just kept her position. "Too late for that" Alex said back. Her voice was normal and as emotionless as she could.

Marissa immediately dreaded her opening line. She hung her head and stayed silent until a great thought crossed her mind. She smiled then bravely sat on the ledge as well. She faced Alex and waited until Alex said something.

But Alex never did. She just kept stoic and deep in her thoughts. Marissa's smile slowly faded as her hopes of Alex starting a conversation with her ran out. "What? You're not scared that I would fall…" Marissa dared Alex. Alex just desolately smiled and challenged back. "If you are ever going to fall, you should have fallen by now…but since you haven't, that'll mean you're only gonna stay that way until you make a move." Alex said without moving anything else but her mouth.

Marissa felt even worse. Nothing she says or does worked on Alex. She took in a deep breath and finally conceded. "About this afternoon…" Marissa started, but Alex interrupted and finished the sentence for her. "You were right. We have a great friendship…there is no use jeopardizing that." Alex then sat up, straddled the ledge and looked to her side at Marissa.

When they laid eyes on each other, Marissa knew what Alex was going to say and what she had decided to already. She looked down and broke the eye contact. She couldn't look at Alex's eyes anymore as Alex continued. "I woke up this morning and I asked God for a sign…if I should keep listening to my heart or if I should do the more grown-up and logical decision." Alex took a deep breath and waited until Marissa looked at her again.

It took a while before Alex continued. "I confirmed my slot at Columbia. I'll be going there for college" "You won't come with me to Berkeley?" Alex shook her head and answered, "it'll be better for our friendship." Alex and Marissa locked eyes again. After a while of silence, Alex turned her back at Marissa and returned back inside her bedroom.

"So that's it? Your logical decision is to stay away from me for the whole of college?" Marissa said before Alex could get back in the room. Alex stopped in her place and waited for Marissa to continue. "We used to always talk about everything…made decisions together…" Marissa finished.

Alex turned and faced Marissa. "Can we just pretend that the kiss never happened?" Alex pleaded to herself more than to Marissa. Marissa just looked at her and let her eyes swell up. She looked to her side and nodded. She quickly wiped the tears as they fell. Alex held her ground and watched wretchedly as the love of her life cried in front of her.