"Who has my lucky quill?"
"Guys, I think I lost my shoe."
Remus sighed and turned around to the room, a pair of rolled socks in his hands. But just as he took a breath to begin berating his friends for leaving all their packing until last minute, he stopped.
It had been the same every year. As soon as exams would end, Remus would stop pleading with them to study and begin to coax them into packing early. Or at least picking their belongings up from the common room, dormitory, and, since James' induction into the Gryffindor Quidditch team, the changing rooms and broom shed. And every year, the other three boys would ignore his requests until the day of their imminent departure.
Why would this year be any different?
So Remus just watched what he had sometimes taken for granted.
He watched as Peter ripped the curtains off his four-poster as he tripped over his trunk, looking around his bed for his missing clothes. Watched as James pulled off all the sheets of his bed, then finally the top mattress, and gave a strangled cheer, picking up a ragged quill and doing a victory dance with it. Watched as Sirius gave up making sure what he put in his trunk was really his, and began throwing anything in the vicinity into it.
For the past six years, Remus would have stopped it. He would have made Peter relax, James stop being stupid, and Sirius slow down. But he didn't. Instead, with a small smile upon his lips, Remus turned back to his own trunk, placed his last pair of rolled socks with the other rolled socks, and closed the lid. He didn't look around, only listened as James pounced on Sirius shouting "That's my bloody lucky shirt, you bugger!" Listened as Sirius retorted, "You don't need luck now you've got –"
Remus didn't even look around when Peter managed to set his curtains on fire. He only shut the clasps on his trunk, letting the smallest of sighs pass his lips.
But then there was a soft, pale, freckled hand on his forearm, and Remus looked up at Lily.
She didn't say anything, only gave his arm a small squeeze, and then they both smiled sadly.
"Packed!" Sirius shouted, as James did the same, and everyone turned to look at Peter.
"I still can't find my bloody shoe."
"It might be in Padfoot's trunk," Remus supplied softly.
"Speaking of that," Sirius said before Peter could reply, "I probably have some of everyone's stuff, and if you want it back, then –" He paused and glared at them all, then reached in his pocket and drew out three slips of parchment. "Then you'll have to come by me and Mooney's –"
"Mooney and I's," Remus corrected automatically.
"– flat in London," Sirius continued happily, handing James, Peter, and Lily the parchment, "and have a drink."
Peter nodded, then threw the slip of parchment into his trunk and closed it. James, on the other hand, looked from the address, to Sirius, to Lily, to Remus, back to the writing, and then at Remus again, who blushed.
"Since when are you two having a flat together?" he asked in disbelief.
"Last week," Sirius answered calmly. "At least, that's when we decided. But it was only yesterday I got the confirmation it was ours."
"Together?"
Lily laughed. "Get used to it, James."
He shrugged. "At least you aren't two poofters moving in together," he commented, shoving the slip into his pocket where he would forget about it until Lily would find it later, emptying the pockets to throw it in to wash. For now, he simply checked his watch as the others shot each other knowing looks.
James didn't notice, as he announced, "The feast and party! Let's go!"
---
Remus stayed quiet for the whole ride back to London on the Hogwarts Express. In fact, the five of them were rather more subdued than other years. Maybe it was the meeting they had attended the previous night, or the fact that it was finally all over, but it had finally sunk in that their time as the Hogwarts Marauders were over. Now who were they? Marauders? Or did the Marauders die when they stepped into the Weasley's home for that Order of the Phoenix meeting?
Everything was changing, and Remus wasn't sure he was ready for it.
Sure, every month eh transformed into a werewolf, and every year there were new classes, and every day he changed his underwear, but now …
"It's all so real now."
Sirius and James looked at him, both frowning.
"What are you on about?" James asked.
Remus sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say it out loud."
"But you're right," Sirius breathed, hanging his head.
James looked at him, shock etched on his face. "Are you giving up?"
"No," he sighed, pushing the long dark hair form his eyes, "I'm just n – worried."
Remus knew he was nervous. He could see it in his eyes. He could see it in all of their eyes.
James looked between the two of them at a loss for words, so Remus went on.
"It's just –" he began, trying ot piece the words together. "It's just that the war – the war that we're all of a sudden fighting – isn't what I expected. Maybe I've been a bit naïve about the whole thing, but –"
"You're not going to quit, are you, Mooney?" James asked disbelievingly.
Remus shook his head. "I grew up in Compton."
Sirius looked up at him, his brows furrowed as James' were.
"I know it like the back of my hand," Remus went on, looking at his knees. "I grew up there. We lived in three different houses on three different streets in the years we lived there. It was where I was bitten, where I had all of my birthdays and Christmas' before Hogwarts." He looked up at them, trying to blink back the tears shining in his eyes and keep the sobs out of his voice. "It was my home."
Sirius began to reach across the compartment to comfort him, but Remus stood up before he could take hold.
"No, I'm sorry," he mumbled. "It's stupid – I'm stupid – this is – I'm just – sorry," he stuttered, and let himself out of the compartment before either of his best friends could say anything, comforting or otherwise.
As the door slid shut behind him, Sirius and James shared an anxious look in silence. Remus slid down the wall in the corridor, his head in his hands, exhaling shakily. As he shook with suppressed sobs, Lily came down the train towards him from the loo.
"Remus?" she inquired timidly, speeding up slightly, but when he didn't answer and it was clearly Remus Lupin, she jogged up to him. "Remus?" she asked, stronger and with a worried note in her voice.
He looked up at her then, the tears finally breaking through his hold on them.
Her eyes filled with sadness as she wrapped her arms around him, and he around her.
"Oh, Remus," she sighed, holding him awkwardly on the floor as he cried silently on her shoulder after the loss of his parents and his memories of Compton.
---
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So sorry for the long wait again, everyone. The next one will be quicker, I promise!